I'm the guy who asked about angles and I can't tell if you're lumping me in with the other guy or not. Also, not sure if you're suggesting I have a small dick and a general lack of sexual experience. If that's the case, then that's pretty annoying.
So, to clarify, yeah, I respect my partner, so I see her pleasure organ as her own and I work with what I have to make it work for both of us. That jolting reaction is a bad sign - the curtain can come down pretty quickly after that. Any time a woman makes a quick adjustment like that, you're in trouble.
I've done the position you're suggesting there. Trouble might be that I tend to end up with girls who can't seem to end up working their legs for more than a minute without blowing out, or, if seated, don't seem to get the rhythm right. Also, being in asia, women are generally pretty passive about sex. I don't have problems pleasing, I just see vids like those in these threads and get wistful.