Sounds like you think you deserve it but have been denied and are salty (not that I blame you.) It also sounds like you're not a very aggressive person, which males are expected to be in sexual matters, but you are passive-aggressive about it.
You say it's a foregone conclusion that you never will, and act sort of sour grapes about it like you wouldn't even if it was presented to you. That's fine if that's your thing, but if you actually think you might WANT that "human touch," then you're going to have to stop defining yourself as either 1) a "nice guy" who is rejected by women because he's unappreciated (ergo, women are horrible) or 2) a judgmental snob who resents other people for having sex (ergo, women are horrible) or 3) a super passive beta male who would require a woman to be aggressive and basically attack you sexually so that you can further your fantasy that you don't want it and it just happened without your consent (ergo, women are horrible.)
Do you see a trend? Yeah, in fact, a lot of guys would agree with you that women are terrible. But denying yourself sexual contact out of fear or insecurity and actually blaming that on them is stupid. If women haven't "appreciated" you enough, it's because they have a lot of options and tend to be attracted to the guys who actually make them feel desired and don't require them to go out on a limb and be aggressive themselves. Women are basically insecure. They want what you want - another person to guide them into what it is they really want and need.
You need to break this cycle by separating the mechanics of sex from the psychology of it. You're in trouble right now because you can't fathom either. You're terrified of the possibility of poor performance (get over it, nobody's particularly good at it without a little practice) or rejection (again, get over it, it happens and you move on. A woman rejecting you isn't like your mother rejecting you. It's just another replaceable female.)