>>31490378>Luna nudges you. "It's Celestia's, you saw how she handled the priest."
"Well, I better do something about that.">You down another cup, already feeling a buzz.
"Tell me about that family you mentioned. Wife and children?">"Uhh, no. There's mom and dad... I'm the oldest of five brothers and two sisters...">"The competition must be fierce.">"W-what?"
"Excuse my wife. Let me guess, you're farmers struggling to get by during a shit season, so they sent their eldest here to earn some extra revenue as a royal guard?">He looks stunned.
"It's a common story.">"Y-yeah, the last couple of seasons have been tough."
"Well, tell you what, whatever your name is...">"Nrohmasotheb."
"...Norman.">Shit, close enough. What were his parents thinking?
"I'll give your farmstead a full tax exemption for the next three harvests, courtesy of your bravery.">This ought to make you more approachable.
"And I'll even let you deliver the decree in person, signed and stamped. Two weeks off without a salary cut for a family visit, sounds good?">"Y-y-you can do that..?"
"Who do you think you're talking to? I'll send someone to your barracks when the papyruswork is ready.">"W-wow..." His voice is getting shaky. "I don't even know how to thank you.">You down another cup, suddenly feeling jealous.
"Just enjoy having siblings for me...">"Well, look at you." Luna looks legitimately impressed. "Taking charge already?">You down yet another cup to further erode your inhibitions, noticing others gathering around you.
"Yeah, if I'm going to be a known motherfucker, then I'll be a beloved one, damn it!">"Hey, you're not that bad!" Some random voice shouts out behind you.
"No, I mean literally!">You turn around to the source of the voice, who you recognize as one of your waitresses.
"Haven't the rumors started circulating yet?">Is your mother actually slacking off? That would be a first.>"It sure would be nice if the rumors were true, though..." Your wife mumbles.