A few years ago on /r9k/, I was 2 years into college and a kissless virgin. Someone on /r9k/ said to me "If you haven't had a gf or sex yet, you never will". It stuck with me. I let a stranger's words define me, and I was depressed and felt like shit for a few years. Then, I got the courage to ask out a girl at a coffee shop, and she said yes and we dated for several months. We broke up, but it was still a good experience.
Most "incels" don't even try. I'd say 1-5% of incels really are incels, that is, they are HORRIDLY ugly or have the most autistic social skills to the point that they probably have asked out 100+ girls and failed at getting a date even online dating. The other 95% are guys that aren't even trying to get women, addicted to instant gratification of technology and internet, wishing a GF would land on their doorstep without any effort on their part. They are pussies who fear rejection, and have not asked out 100+ girls or made a dating profile and messaged 500+ girls. Yes, I messaged well over 500 girls and got 20-40 or so replies. Thats the numbers game you're playing. Have you tried yet? Or did you only get rejected by "the crush of your life" in high school after you wrote her a cringy poem, and from that day forward became an "incel" who never tried to get a gf again?
If you are part of that 1-5%, I am sorry for you. The rest of you, are just socially inexperienced, and yes, probably beta, because your ego is so fragile that you fear rejection. Rejection happens to me, and its like kind of bad, but it passes. The girls that don't reject, make up for it.