are you the anon that has been making daily threads about his sobriety?
relapse happens anon. addiction is a complicated matter and struggle isn't meant to be a straight line. the most important aspect to all of this that i hope you pay the most attention to is your reaction to relapsing: the anger, disappointment, embarrassment, whatever. these are the types of feelings you invite into your life when you drink and these aren't feelings you're seeking out in life.
you will defeat this and you will look back at this time in your life with feelings of accomplishment.