It began with the meeting of the great men. One was from Georgia, a bull wreathed in beard and traps. Four hailed from the great islands of Europe, lands of cold, and rock, and oak. And five, five came from North America, among them a mountain king who had claimed this throne before.
But they were all of them deceived, for another man had stirred.
In the land of Greece, in the fires of YouTube fame, the Bloat Lord Grizzly lifted in secret the master weights, larger than all others. And into these lifts he poured his screaming, his fandom, and his will to Zercher shrug all mass.
One man to rule them all, one man to shrug them, one man to crush them all, by doing nought but hug them.