>>11666393>an ax next to the bedwhatever makes you feel safe anon. I've slept with large knife between my mattress most of my life. Both my insane brother and parents had multiple assault rifles/shotguns/handguns close to their beds growing up. Its a comfort thing I guess.
>germaphobiathat is an anxiety issue based in something deeper. Can you trace it back to anything that specifically happened to you? My mothers a germaphobe and hypochondriac so I understand the insanity a bit. Its all a reaction to high anxiety and relates to a feeling of lack of control in your life.
>making my friends miserablehow? unless your actively hurting them I doubt it.
>cleaning/focusing on the houseI know it sounds cliche but it sounds like your going stir-crazy. Maybe go for a quick walk when you feel the walls closing in on you. Even if its somewhere you've been before, the act of walking clears the mind
>I can't drinkthats a blessing in disguise my man. Drinking always made me feel way more suicidal the day after. It fucks with your GABA. Pot is superior
>"I hate myself for suffering when others have it worse"This is an extremely common depression k-hole mantra. Just because others suffer it does not mean that your suffering is meaningless. Pain is something we all experience but we can never accurately measure our pain against others. Hating yourself does not make the pain of others less.
>bugsI feel yah man. Back when I lived with my parents in the woods I spent 24/7 living around tons of centipedes, beetles,mice, termites, ants, giant hornets/wasp infestations every year and wolf spiders (pic related, these fuckers use to crawl into my bed all the time when I slept. They're more afraid of you and I eventually grew to like them since they kill all the other bugs) crawling on me all the time. Maybe because I am a lazy pacifist they stopped bothering me but I get the annoyance. At least in the city all I have to deal with is cat-sized rats and mice.
