>>222536919For almost all of my life I've been miserable. My days as a child were frittered away by moving every 9-12 months, never being able to keep friends for more than a year. I became increasingly introverted, and would keep to myself with any "friends" I made at school. I ultimately came to have no goals or plans, and was essentially waiting to die. I barely graduated high school in 2011, and thereafter spent a year as a NEET.
The year after I graduated, my grandfather made me start attending the community college part time, and made me work at his garage part time. I would work a little at the garage, but there was never a lot of business after the recession, so I spent a lot of time just on the computer. Likewise, the classes I took at the community college were bullshit "coding" classes, which were far beneath me, and weren't transferable to any uni.
I nearly killed myself with a shotgun two times in 2014. I stopped because I couldn't stand the idea of how my grandfather would take my death, or how my grandma would've. I spent the next year or two actually thinking about what I should do, and I started taking real classes. I didn't realize it at the time, but my grandfather's age was catching up to him. He wasn't as active in the garage as he used to be, and couldn't spend all day moving transmissions and motors around the floor.
Today, I'm finishing up the math and physics series at my community college, and I'm going to start at a nearby CSU in the fall, majoring in Computer Science. The shutdown finally killed my grandfather's garage, but he's still working from home, and I'm working with him in the mornings, when he still has the energy to work.
I started reading Berserk shortly after I tried to kill myself, and I loved it. The terrible world that Guts struggled to live in spoke to me. It's a shame that Miura died before he could complete his work. I would've liked to have seen Guts finally achieve his goal.
