I'm the guy that just rambles in notepad and never posts, I've been schizoposting for the last few days. This is kind of a confession.
I'm feeling like I'm growing out of 4chan and anime in general. It's just.. I'm literally Faust and I'm still watching a little girl show. Regardless of the substance of the show, the appearance of it is really childish and I can't help feeling like a little kid when I watch it and all the spirits laugh at me and call me a little kid and stuff. Even the spirit of Gen Urobutcher tells me I need to grow up.
I realized it only a few days ago. That I seriously, seriously, seriously need to grow up. I've been reading theology stuff lately and more and more the concept of guardian angels (I know it sounds childish) has been popping up all over the place. I've been really interested in exorcisms and demons and angels and stuff lately. I read this "Manual for Spiritual Warfare" and it told me to ask my guardian angel a question and see if it would answer. I wrote on piece of paper, asking it simply "What should I call you?" and the next day I was in the car and the radio started playing and this song was playing (
https://youtu.be/T_Z5rrv-Llo) and I realized the chorus was saying "Call me Mephistopheles".
I suddenly realized that I really am Faust.
(Walter Kaufman's Translation)
Faust: Leave off! it will - When, lost in feeling,
For this urge, for this surge
I seek a name, find none, and, reeling
all through the world with all my senses gasping
At all the noblest words I'm grasping
And call this blaze in which I flame,
Infinite, eternal eternally-
Is that a game or devilish jugglery
Homura's name can mean "blaze" or "flame".
