bros, i am starting to feel optimistic after like 3 years of depression and 6 months of severe suicidal ideation.
The weather is getting better, and the place i work is hiring 2 more people, so i will probably go from working 60 hours a week down to like 40 (i'm a mailman)
I have a lot of money saved up. My grandma moved into a nursing home and this spring me, my cousin, my friend, and his girlfriend are going to move in to her old house, each paying $300 per month (in the ghetto)
I think that once i move out, I might actually enroll in a community college that's a 40 minute drive away. I just turned 21 and i don't think i'm too late to go to school.
I bought a power rack and have been lifting at home.
I'm still very socially anxious and have never had a gf. I think that I am like a firework that seems like a dud at first, and then explodes spectacularly after a moment of disappointment.
One of my friends has been extremely condescending, due to my not going to college right away (telling me that i "peaked in middle school", that my life will never get better if i keep being a mailman, insinuating that i am stupid), and i have cut contact with him after a "final straw" moment
other than that i am feeling hopeful, despite months of wanting to commit suicide
>>73512797i agree with the other guy, when you look at it from the outside, it's not nearly as dire as you might think
