Quoted By:
1/2
>stare at the half-dead looking creature in the kitchen entrance
>it looks almost equine
>it's wearing the Princess's crown and horseshoes, too
>oh shit! better call the Royal Guard!
>it makes eye contact with you
>its voice is like something that rose from the dead
>and shouldn't have
>"caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake"
"I'm sorry?"
>"CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE"
"Uh, of course. Right this way."
>there is a table with a row of layer cakes
>other chefs are bustling to and fro, hauling trays with more cake and lining them up on the table
>the terrifying apparition unhinges its jaw like an anaconda and then lunges with the speed of a striking cobra
>it extends its neck much further than you would have imagined while its body totters forward, the golden Royal Horseshoes clack-clacking on the stone floor
>an entire three-layer blueberry-filled pound cake that you'd have expected to feed a party of twelve disappears into its maw
>you are aghast at the loud slurping and gobbling sounds
>fruity purple gore and buttercream icing dripping from its face, spattering its coat and feathers, it turns to you, then back to the table
>another, this one angel food with pure snow-white coconut frosting, disappears in three bites
>coconut sprays everywhere
>you watch fascinated as the enormous lumps move visibly down its throat
>she turns back to you
>"coffeeeeeeeeeee"
"I beg your pardon?"
>"COFFEEEEEEEEEEE"
"Uh, right, of course. With cream, or sugar, or--"
>"BLAAAAAAAAAAAAACK"
>you wonder where the guards are as you run to the back and bring out an entire gallon carafe of hot coffee
>before you can cross the room a yellow telekinetic field grabs the carafe from your hooves
>the entity gulps down an entire gallon of scalding hot coffee in a few seconds
>it smacks its lips
>with a bit less urgency to its motions it stares at a fresh hot pan of buttery cinnamon monkey-bread coffee cake
>telekinetically rips out a third of it and stuffs it into its mouth
>chewing thoughtfully, staring at you
