>"Phew! Your pee-pee really stinks, Anon!">>29826921Recap: You are Anon. Not the popular Anon you're thinking of, the other one. Lyra the unicorn has been pretty much stalking you for weeks now, harassing you about the smell of your "pee-pee". Of course your penis doesn't really smell THAT bad - or so you believe - but it's obvious enough that she's sexually interested in you for whatever reason. Frustrated, you finally had enough of her possessive bullshit and told her off. Not even an hour later you had another uncomfortable run in with her at the supermarket on your way to yoga class. Now at the school, your instructor, Johan the German Übermensch, is ushering you to his office to quickly show you something before class starts...
>"Ooh! Anon! Ooh! I cannot vait to show you mein huuuuuge package!"Nigger what. You're okay with Johan being, er, as "excitable" as a seven foot tall chiseled manbeast in spandex can be, but you're not gay. And it's not gay that you're only taking his class so that you can become flexible enough to auto-fellate yourself, if anything it's just oral masturbation. No homo. You wince as Johan prances exuberantly into his office and does a pirouette behind his desk.
"So, uh, what was that about your... what now?"
>"Mein huuuuuge package!""Uhhh..."
The man's eyes narrow, twinkling like gems, his mouth forming a perfect "O" shape. He drops into a horse stance, squealing like a newborn piglet. There exists no potential alternate universe in which you are not on the edge of soiling yourself in fear right now. With a large sweeping motion Johan cups his hands below his desk at crotch height and rockets them skyward, displaying a large parcel in the manner befitting a Hylian hero. His chest hair glistens in the florescent lighting. You manually resume breathing.
>"Mein package! Is it not huuuuuge?" 