/mlp/ - Pony » Thread #25810984

>>25811306
>PiE Died Again Edition
So that's just there for people to know that PiE can go here too, because it's been proved for the hundredth time it can't survive on it's own.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:46:10 No.25811343 Report

Quoted By:

>>25811332
>>25811330
>>25811323
>>25811321
kay

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:52:31 No.25811420 Report

Quoted By:

Posting what I have now... It's part new and part rewritten old stuff.
Enjoy~

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:53:33 No.25811431 Report

Quoted By: >>25811441

>Turning off into the first alleyway that comes along and still will somewhat direct you to your home, you gently place Gratia's heavy head down on your shoulder and start to whistle the melody to a random song that came to your mind.
>You can't remember the name of this particular song any more, but you used to listen to it non-stop back on earth.
>If you concentrate just hard enough you can even recall some of its lyrics... Nowhere near enough to actually sing this old favourite of yours though.
>For this that what comes to your mind is just too fragmentary and arbitrary. Not that you particularly want to break into song now, but it's still a pity.
>Can't change what you can't change though... Still you wish you were given the chance to take some of your old worldly possessions with you when you were ripped out from earth and brought to Equestria.
>Just something with the ability to play the music you loved so much but foolishly took for granted.
>Seems like you only realize how valuable some things really are when you lose them...
"Tcha."
>Sadly Mous wasn't able to help you along in this matter either since he basically arrived stark naked here with only his boxershorts and an old gameboy that is now being displayed in the National Museum of Canterlot as some kind of human artefact.
>With a copy of Tetris in its cartridge slot as you had to assess on your first and only visit there.
>Exiting your comfy and lonesome alley, you turn into the small road it lead you to and begin to follow it.
>It's quite the detour from your usual way home but you should be still be able to get there before the sun has fully set behind the horizon.
>And luckily the path you have chosen seems to be just as unpopulated as you hoped it to be. Not a singly pony in sight.
>Very nice~

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:54:36 No.25811441 Report

Quoted By: >>25811449

>>25811431
>"Have you heard about Obsidia?"
>Huh?
>"No I haven't, but do tell! What has she done this time?"
>Where's that coming fro... Oh, two pegasi mares. Flying a few metres above you and fortunately minding their own business.
>Still you take Gratia off your shoulder and let her hang from your side lest they see her and begin to scream zeter and mordio.
>"You're not going to believe this... She managed to get sacked again!", the light blue one excitedly chirps.
>"No way! Really?", her violet friend responds.
>You think the name of that one is Flitter... She had to sleep her intoxication off in the drunk tank last week after she trashed some snack stall for not giving her a discount.
>Also if you remember correctly, she made quite the mess out of the cell and gave it several, mostly brownish, colours.
>Apparently horses do have the ability to vomit. Or at least the small and colourful representatives of their species.
>Who knew?
>"Yeah!"
>Flitter titters and gently bumps into her friend.
>"By Celestia... How long did she have that job? A week?"
>Meh... Just boring gossip about someone you don't even know.
>Though...
>You have quite a nice view from down here. Especially Flitter's glutes are particularly eye-catching and alluring.
>Let alone of that what sits between them...
>"Not even! Just four days!"
>But before you are able to satisfy your voyeuristic cravings, she takes a turn to the right and flies away, taking her dark purple and rather juicy looking pony goods with her.
>Pity... You wouldn't have minded to gaze at them for a while longer.
>But that mental image of them will suffice for a fantasy or...
"Fuck!", you blurt out and slap yourself.
>God... You really need to get laid somewhat soon before you turn into a full-blown pervert.
>Easier said than done though... Most mares just don't seem to be all that interested in you and your strange alien physique.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:55:37 No.25811449 Report

Quoted By: >>25811453

>>25811441
>Even if you somehow manage to get the attention of one by telling her stories of your former adventures, they all get rather repellent once you start to get flirty.
>One even threw her drink in your face after you just lightly brushed her withers and called you a sicko.
>Mous just got lucky with Rainbow Dash it seems.
>She is a bit skinny for your liking but she got some nice toned flanks and legs for days.
>You wonder what she would look like in socks or stockings.
>Just like that whore in Baltimare...
"God..."
>If your mother could hear this... She would be so fucking proud.
>Not to speak of your father.
>Fuck that thought. You were beyond help after that fateful summer night with Swift Claw. So why care about morals and values that don't concern you any more?
>Back on earth what you have done and now crave might have been seen as a sin or even a crime, but earth doesn't matter any longer.
>The inhabitants of this world are as far away to animals as humans are to apes, despite their appearance and sometimes behaviour.
>Good job... Now you have made your yourself upset about absolutely nothing.
>One more reason to get drunk tonight.
>Groaning, you grasp Gratia at the base of her blade and swipe at the air in front of you a few times in an attempt to get the thoughts and emotions that bother you out of your system.
>And it works... The stallion that just watered his plants might have gotten the shock of his life when he saw you, but you feel better now.
>Maybe you really should just accept Honey Dawn's advice and see a shrink... She only means well and was perhaps right about her assumption that the mercenary life has left more marks on you than you might like to admit.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:56:39 No.25811453 Report

Quoted By: >>25811471

>>25811449
>Things weren't always particularly easy and good for your sanity back then. Especially the beginnings.
>Learning to fight... To defend yourself... To kill... All were things you never had to do before back on earth.
>Yeah, there was the occasional fight with some punk in a bar or an idiot in school... But that was all in more or less good fun compared to what you experienced here in Equestria.
>Your first victi-... Casualty... You will never forget: Some random brigand who stole from your constituent and allegedly tried to rape his daughter.
>An injustice you can't stand at all... So you were hell bent on catching him.
>And you did so after a night of pursuing the malefactor through the woods and finally confronting him at a moonlit clearing.
>The fight itself was short, onesided and exciting. To this day every single moment of it is etched into your mind.
>Including the not so nice ones you would love to forget but can't...
>The look in his eyes when you delivered the killing blow and brought Gratia down on him... His scream when she ripped through his neck... How his body was drained of all its life-giving blood in mere seconds...
>You hoped he would dodge the blow or at least try to parry it with his spear, but he didn't. Either you were too fast or he just accepted his fate.
"Why didn't you run away... Was it worth it?", you mumble to yourself.
>A cold shudder runs down your spine and your steps slow down.
"Sixty bits...?"
>He fought so desperately for that measly sum. Like his life or maybe even more depended on it.
"Was it worth it?"
>That stallion probably had a family and was certainly someone's son... And you tore him away from them with a single strike.
>"Mortality clarified in a single strike!", an ancient memory resounds from the darkest corners of your brain.
"Heh..."

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:57:47 No.25811471 Report

Quoted By: >>25811477 >>25818537

>>25811453
>How fitting yet so morbidly unfitting.
>Perhaps Dew Drop is right? Maybe you really are a monster?
>You doubtlessly aren't the same person you used to be a long time ago any more.
>...
"No!"
>Before any more dark thoughts can manifest in your mind, you let out an almost feral scream and break into a run.

>After a short yet very strenuous spring, you finally manage to escape those haunting memories and your steps gradually slow down until they come to a full halt.
>Staggering towards the nearest wall, you lean against it and try to catch your breath again.
>God damn it... It has been a while since you last had to run with Gratia in tow.
>She seems small for a two-handed weapon but she's almost entirely made out of metal... Making her heavier than she might appear
>You slump down to the dusty soil and wipe the thick beads of sweat off your face before you take it into your two hands to regain your composure and senses.
"Fuck..."
>Sometimes, this... This just happens.
>Parts of your darker past, memories you thought you have forgotten, experiences you believed to have drowned in alcohol.... One of those things randomly just catches up with you and the chances are high that it then totally overwhelms you.
>For what reasons? You don't know... And that sometimes keeps you up at night.
>Another reason to actually see that shrink Honey talked about... Maybe talking with someone about it might help.
>Even if you aren't too fond of them and their outrageous salary expectations.
>A silent chuckle escapes your lips and you rest your head against the wall, looking at the gradually darkening sky and the building you currently use to recuperate.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:58:49 No.25811477 Report

Quoted By: >>25811485 >>25818537

>>25811471
>You recognise it... It's the old western watchtower. Silenty holding a vigil over the river that separates Ponyville's midtown from its western outskirts.
>And of course over the two bridges there too.
>Pity that it's going to knocked down next month. You enjoyed all those evenings spent getting horribly drunk with Mous in its spire and watching the sun slowly rise while enjoying your respective last bottle of cider.
>Well... Can't do much about that, can you?
>At least it will keep your wallet a bit more filled once it's gone... Fancy Star was getting real greedy lately when you asked him for the keys to it.
>Thirty five bits is sheer robbery. Especially when he uses the money to
>Enjoying the coolness of the stone bricks for a moment more, you sigh and get on your two legs again.
>No use in wasting time on the cold ground when there is even colder beer waiting for you at home.
>Also you don't exactly need another cystitis... The last one was rather painful and took ages until it finally went away.
>You would have asked Honey Dawn for help but she got way too eager to examine you when you told her that you got a problem down there...
>"Of course! Of course! Just take a seat, pull down your pants and let Doctor Dawn see if she can't kiss that booboo better!"
>So you aborted that endeavour before it got too weird and just bought some medicine from the pharmacy.
>She can be fairly strange sometimes. Endearing, yes. But mostly strange.
>Funnily enough, Honey only acts that way when you two are alone... She's totally normal otherwise.
"Hmm..."
>Anyway.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 18 Dec 2015 23:59:53 No.25811485 Report

Quoted By: >>25811497

>>25811477
>Main thing is that you are feeling better again, so there is no reason to dilly-dally.
>Grabbing Gratia from her grassy bed that you apparently threw her into, you dust yourself off real quick and then get going again.
>Once you crossed the river it isn't too far any more. Maybe another ten minutes or so if you don't take additional detours.
>Which you might have to do... If you remember correctly there isn't a single piece of food in your ice box left.
>Well... At least nothing you would deem edible or fit for human consumption.
>Those carrots probably already have founded their own civilization there... Right next to the Republic of Molbania.
>That's what you call the mouldy banana you wanted to throw away weeks ago but somehow always forgot about.
>Maybe tonight will be the night...
"Nah."
>Future Anon can do that. He's cool and will surely understand why you couldn't have been asked to do that today.
>Yeah... That sounds good.
>But that doesn't solve your food problem... And drinking beer without something fatty to snack on just isn't the same.
>It isn't the same without surfing the internet either, but... Eh. Equestria sadly doesn't have a ponynet yet so your light novels and the few tapes for that projector you own will have to suffice.
>What to eat though...

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:00:56 No.25811497 Report

Quoted By:

>>25811485
>Setting foot on the other side of the river, you reach for the small leather pouch that hangs from your belt and check its contents.
"Meh... Thought so."
>What you see doesn't infuse with you optimism though... Two gold, six silver and around twelve bronze coins.
>All in all roughly sixty two bits.
>Given that you need to buy regular groceries and other stuff for your household too this week, that isn't all that much.
>So your options are limited to the less fancy food stalls like that fried hay booth down your street.
>Hay isn't exactly your favourite, but slathered in dough and then fried auburn it isn't all that bad. Especially with a spicy dip.
>Also its quite cheap. Only five bits for a twelve piece box of hay-nuggets and a small portion of hay-fries.
>Small is not enough for your superior human appetite though... So for one bit more you will take a medium one.
>There should still some hot sauce packets left in one of your cupboards from last time, so that's dealt with already.
>Well, lookie there... A full, unhealthy meal and you can buy toilet paper too? Amazing.
>That's almost like chri-
>"Stop that!", a nearby female voice cries out and interrupts you in you train of thought.
>Huh?
>"Aww, come on now babe. Don't be like that. Just this once and I swear I will stop bothering you.", a much deeper voice responds.
>Just this once?! That's not better be about what you think it is.
>"N-No! I had, like, a rough day and just wanna go home... Hey! Let go of my hoof!"
>"Please, babe... I can't get you out of my head! Just give me another chance!"
>"Noohoo! You had your chance! Now let me go!", the mare yelps.
>"Sorry, babe. Can't do... I need you."
>Yep. It is what you think it is.
>Time to step in and do what you are being paid for.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:02:47 No.25811513 Report

Quoted By: >>25813593 >>25818288 >>25818537

That's it for tonight. More tomorriw if I find time to write, if not in the next days.

Pastebin is updated and ready to be shilled: http://pastebin.com/VCGEsx3U

Feel free to leave critique and maybe a few encouraging words..

Love and Powerlifting

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Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:48:05 No.25811932 Report

Quoted By: >>25811962 >>25811975

>Be Rararararararararararararararararararara
>The dress hoers one not the gaudy fake-maned hack
>It was a wonderful day in Ponyville today
>The sun was shining
>Rainbow had finally gotten off of her lazy flank and did her job so there wasn't a cloud in the sky
>And you were in a good mood
>A VERY good mood
>You had finished a big order from a noble in Canterlot the night before
>The noble had been ecstatic on your fast work and had given you a rather large bonus along with your agreed upon price
>So, in light of a job well done and money well made, you had treated yourself to a spa day
>You had been working ever so hard, and you just needed a day to relax and recuperate
>A lady needed to know when to work and when to play after all
>And "play" you did
>Aloe and Lotus had been wonderful as always
>You felt relaxed
>You felt pampered
>And most importantly you looked MARVELOUS
>In fact as you trotted through town you couldn't help but notice that you were turning more than a few heads!
>In fact--
>"Squiggle tail!"
>Turning your head you watched as Anonymous ran toward you with a smile on his face
" Oh horse apples... Anonymous! Good afternoon darling!"
>Though you smiled when you saw him you couldn't help but take a few steps back when you saw a particular look in his eye
>Anonymous, bless his kind heart, was a very affectionate stalli--er man
>He'd pick up anypony and hug them for any reason
>Even if said pony didn't want to be picked up and hugged or petted or anything else that the silly man did to them
>And while you were nothing but supportive of all of your friends... quirks you had JUST gotten out of the spa...
>And Aloe had spent HOURS getting your mane in the state that it was in now...
>So, it was with a heavy heart that the second that Anon came within a few feet of him you grabbed him by his pants and hoisted him up into the air with your magic

Love and Powerlifting

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Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:50:53 No.25811962 Report

Quoted By: >>25811975 >>25812004

>>25811932
"I'm sorry darling," you apologise when you see his confused expression. "I've just come back from the spa you see."
>Moving your head to and fro you give the dear a chance to look over your figure
"So I'm afraid that I can't give you a hug at the moment."
>Gently setting the human down you give him your winningest smile
"Perhaps a hoofshake might be more appropriate?"
>Anon just started at your outstretched hoof
>Though you were sure that he was none too pleased by your admittedly rough handling you were sure that he'd be quick to forgive you if he just thought about it
>You were just protecting the perfection that was your body at
>Aloe and Lotus had spent the whole morning making you look like this
>It's be a slap in the face if you didn't do anything in your power to look like this for as long as possible!
>Without warning Anonymous's face began to twist into a scowl
>"Rarararararara."
>Your smile twitched when you heard the tone in his voice
"Yes dear?"
>"Come and give me a hug you silly horse."
>You took a step away from him as he got to his knees
>Oh goodness...
>You know that look in his eyes...
>And you most certainly know the smile that's forming on his face!
"I'd love to hug you, dear, really I would!"
>Anon makes his way to his feet and stands up to his full height
>Panic starts to well up in your stomach as you watch him roll his shoulders and crack his neck
>That ruffian better not be doing what you think he's doing...
>You JUST came back from the spa!
"...Would you take a raincheck dear? I really can't--epp!"
>You managed to dodge just in the nick of time as Anon leapt for you, his arms outstretched
"Anonymous! DON'T YOU DARE!"
>As quick as a snake he rolled back to his feet, a determined look in his eyes
>To your horror you could see that dirt covered his suit
>Which meant if he managed to get his grubby hands on you you'd be covered in dirt and Celestia knows what in an instant

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:52:29 No.25811975 Report

Quoted By: >>25811994

>>25811932
>>25811962
Is Anon... Like mentally challenged?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:54:15 No.25811994 Report

Quoted By:

>>25811975
>somebody dressed a retard in a suit and set him loose on the world.

Love and Powerlifting

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Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:55:05 No.25812004 Report

Quoted By: >>25812053

>>25811962
>All of that hard work ruined in the blink of an eye!
>NO!
>You could NOT let that happen!
>You would not STAND for it!
>Anon was just going to have to be an adult and--
>You jumped as Anon threw back his head and roared
>"GET YOUR FURRY ASS OVER HERE, RARITY!"
>...What were you thinking?!
>This was Anonymous!
>Of COURSE he wouldn't act like an adult!
>The two of you stared at each other for about a minute
>Time seemed to freeze in that moment...
"TataDarlinggottago!!!"
>Without further ado you took off down the road as quickly as your hooves (within reason of course. You didn't want to get any dirt on you) could take you
>Though you could see ponies staring oddly as you weaved around mare and stallion, cart and stall, you paid them no mind
>You needed to get away
>Needed to get into the safety of your home
>Anonymous might have been... brash but not even he wouldn't break into your house!
>Especially not when you placed a few protective spells on it!
>To your surprise you don't hear Anon pursuing you
>And that worries you more than you cared to admit...
>Risking a look over your shoulder you see that the human had disappeared
>Skidding to a halt you looked around
>Where was he?
>WHERE WAS HE?!
>...
>Stop that this INSTANT Rarity Belle
>A lady such as yourself does not lose her composure like this over something as silly as a HUG!
>Forcing yourself to take a deep breath you close your eyes
>Though you expect Anon to swoop in and tackle you nothing happens
"...Anonymous?" you called, cracking open an eye. "Anonymous, are you there, dear?
>Silence and some stares by a few of the townsponies are your only answer as you look around the humanless street
>...Huh

Love and Powerlifting

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Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 00:59:52 No.25812053 Report

Quoted By: >>25812108

>>25812004
>He must have respected your decision and left you alone...
>...
>...
>...
>Horse apples
>Frowning gently you once again began to make your way to your abode
"Anonymous is not one to give up so easily," you mutter to yourself, reaching up to quaft your mane. "So where has he gone?..."
>You feel as though you are being watched as you cautiously make your way to your house
>At every turn you expect Anonymous to be there
>In every alley you expect him to be lying in wait
>But the whole way home you aren't ambushed
>You don't even see hide nor hare of the stallion...
>Humph
>Maybe your gentlecolt lessons have had more of an effect of him than you first thought?
>Maybe he found somepony else to hug?
>Whatever the answer may be it appears that you, and your mane, are in the clear!!
>Though you still kept an eye out for that giant green ruffian a smile made its way into your face as you fished out your keys and unlocked your door
"I hope the dears not too upset at me... I know that he wanted a hug but I MUST keep myself as unsullied as possible! I can make it up to him another day if nee-"
>You didn't even have time to react as your door was thrown open, revealing a grinning Anonymous
>"Got ya squiggle tail!" he gleefully cried
>Though you SHOULD be concern about how Anonymous got into your LOCKED house the only thought that you had at that moment was getting away
>But, alas, it was all for naught
>Your guard had been let down and Anonymous was far faster than he looked
>Neither magic nor your reflexes could save you as the human picked you up and bodily carried you into your own home kicking and screaming
"Anonymous! ANONYMOUS! YOU PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW!"
>Though you batted at his head and shoulders the ruffian only reacted to your blows with a manic giggle, carrying you into your tea room
>Well...
>If nothing else he at least took off his shoes...
>With a smug smile on his face, Anonymous picked you up so that your noses your touching

Love and Powerlifting

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Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:03:59 No.25812108 Report

Quoted By: >>25812152

>>25812053
>You stare at the human with narrowed eyes, your nose scrunching up dangerously
>Ohhhhh!
>That. Was. It!
>Enough of this nonsense!
>You were going to give Anonymous the talking to of a lifetime!
"Anon, you put me down this--"
>You could only let out a gasp as Anonymous lifted you up so that your stomach was exposed to him
>Realizing what he was doing you squirmed even harder but it was too--
>"PHMPHMFPMFHPMFPHMFPMHFP!!!"
>The second that Anon puts his mouth on your belly he starts to blow as hard as he can
>Instantly you begin laughing, squirming and kicking all the while
"HAHAHAHAHAHAH! ANONYMOUS! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH! L-LET ME DOWN THIS--HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! INSTANT YOU RUFFIAN--HEHEHEHEHEH!"
>Anonymous keeps held firmly in his arms as he give you his vile raspberry, only pausing to take a breath
>"PHMPHTPMTHPTMHTPHMTPHMPPPPPPPP!"
"STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOOOOOOOPPPPPPIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!"
>You tried to use your magic to do something but you couldn't with how hard you were laughing
>As time dragged on tears started to blur your vision
>Your wiggling became so frantic that Anon lost his balance with a grunt
>Since he wasn't a COMPLETE ruffian he made sure to tuck you against his chest during the fall
>Still laughing, you managed to free yourself from Anon's grasp the second that the two of you hit the ground
>"Naha," Anon yelled, laughing just as hard as you. "You get back here, Rarara!"
"You get away from me this instant!" you yelled as he crawled toward you
>"Not until I get that hug you silly horse!" he retorted, grabbing your tail
>All you were able to do was yelp as he pulled you back toward him
>You and Anonymous then began rolling around on your once clean floor, playfully shoving and ticking and batting at each other, both of you laughing so hard that your stomachs felt like they were going to burst
>Eventually, as any lady would in a situation like this, you ended the your little tussle on top of the ruffian that had so tormented you

Love and Powerlifting

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Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:08:02 No.25812152 Report

Quoted By: >>25812181

>>25812108
>Your mane was RUINED, you could feel yourself covered in sweat and dirt from Anonymous's coat, your mascara was running and you had tears in your eyes
>By all rights you should be FURIOUS
>All of that time at the spa RUINED...
>But...
>Sighing, you give Anonymous a look before resting your head on his chest
"I don't know why I put up with your nonsense..."
>You couldn't help but let out a pleased hum as Anon's hands scratched your back and sides
>"Oh you love it, marshmallow," he snarks as you
>Humphing you boop his nose
"I expect something from this hug, Anonymous," you say, sticking your nose up into the air. "I believe that I deserve it after all of your nonsense!"
>You giggled as Anon's fingers danced across your ribs before he rested his hands on the small of your back
>"You were gonna get dirty eventually, Rare," he pointed out as you gently nuzzled his chest. "Me doing this is better than your sister running in and spilling something on you or something like that."
>...True
>But you were going to have to insist
"When we get up off this floor you are going to go upstairs into my bedroom--"
>"Saucy."
"--Shush! You are going to go into my bedroom and you are going to grab the white pearl comb that's sitting on the nightstand."
>Your hind legs begins to kick as Anonymous's hands start to scratch your shoulders and neck but you ignore it
>You were a lady on a mission
"Then you are going to come back down here and you are going to do your very best to brush all of this filth off of my AND you are going to fix my mane."
>Looking up at him with narrowed eyes you wrapped your front legs around his chest just as his hands reach your ears
>Though your eyelids flutter at his surprisingly delicate touch you manage to fix him a stern glare
"There. There's the hug that you so desperately NEEDED."
>Patting your head, Anon tries to sit up...
>"Alright, just let me get your comb and--"
>...Only for you to force him right back onto the ground

Love and Powerlifting

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Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:10:52 No.25812181 Report

Quoted By: >>25812196 >>25812253 >>25813792

>>25812152
"I said that you would comb me AFTER the hug, Anon," you chided
>Your horn glowed, encasing his hands and forcing them back into your head
"As you can see I haven't finished this hug."
>You give him another look
"Now if you know what's good for you I'd continue lathering my mane in affection."
>A sigh escapes you as Anon ran his fingers through your mane
>Still silky smooth, your hair flowed around his fingers like silk as he massaged your scalp
>Though you would never admit it to ANYPONY the feeling was heavenly
>And you weren't going to even get started on what he did with your ears!
"A little harder than that you beast..."
>You bounced on Anonymous's stomach as he chuckled, his long arms wrapping around your body and holding you as close as physically possible
>"As my lady commands," he said as you closed your eyes
>Hmmm....
>There was some hope for this stallion yet...
>Not much but SOME

Love and Powerlifting

Love and Powerlifting Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:12:27 No.25812196 Report

Quoted By: >>25812929 >>25818601

>>25812181
I felt like writing a bit of rarararara today. I just noticed that I have almost no dress hoers pictures...

Well, I'm done if anyone feels like writing anything else

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1426502088382.jpg, 40KiB, 480x640

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:20:00 No.25812253 Report

Quoted By:

>>25812181
Pillow Poni approves

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:20:03 No.25812255 Report

Quoted By:

Chills, chills come as I read your text, as the words run through my brain.
With shaking breaths, I wonder what may come next,
will Anon give the D again?
And I know, I know that this is the height of autism.
but why does it feel so good, your beautiful writing is blinding
for me to read all day, slowly trying.
I want you to know you're the best thread I see on this board.

So when you're dead, don't fret I'll write some green for you.
In your shitposts, I will bleed ideas.
When you need me, I'll be on hiatus.
I'll write Rainbow as a queer.
I'll write AJ as a queer.
So you can claim it's fanfic tier.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO noteworthy2.png, 3MiB, 5000x4351

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:40:48 No.25812483 Report

Quoted By: >>25812569

*poof*
Noteworthy has been spawned in Earth!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:47:49 No.25812569 Report

Quoted By: >>25812593

>>25812483
Noteworthy has been banned from all official and noteworthy Ponies in Earth servers.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Noteworthy puffed cheeks.png, 4MiB, 3390x4000

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 01:50:04 No.25812593 Report

Quoted By: >>25832662

>>25812569
>"That's why I'm using VPN!"

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 65afd7019738fcfcfc8b2e764598962f.jpg, 207KiB, 1500x1500

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 02:23:56 No.25812929 Report

Quoted By: >>25812952

>>25812196
As a fan of rarararararararararararara, this makes me absolutely delighted

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 02:26:00 No.25812952 Report

Quoted By: >>25812989

>>25812929
>"I'm gonna pounce at that green mother as soon as he comes through that door..."
>"Nopony puts a glass on my table without a coaster!"

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO aaaaayyyayyayyy.png, 697KiB, 1028x1064

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 02:26:26 No.25812959 Report

Quoted By: >>25813681

>>25812921
See? Is ok.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 02:28:51 No.25812989 Report

Quoted By:

>>25812952
yes. just. yes

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 03:24:24 No.25813593 Report

Quoted By: >>25817466

>>25811513
That's Japanese though, what the hell are you thinking mixing the mighty Jap culture up with the Ching Chings'

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1435437966420.png, 351KiB, 928x509

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 03:31:36 No.25813681 Report

Quoted By:

>>25812959
Oh. Of course. Haha.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO oh gawd.gif, 1MiB, 533x300

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 03:42:17 No.25813792 Report

Quoted By:

>>25812181

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:04:59 No.25814621 Report

Quoted By: >>25814631

>You sigh, flipping open your journal to a fresh page, before putting your pencil to the thin paper to write your name and the date.
>Leutnant Anon. Y. Mous. -Date: Juli 5, 1943.
>This is it.
>The major offensive begins in but a few moments.
>Ivan knows it's coming, but we have little choice but to follow the Zugführer's commands.
>I, myself, have no disillusions in my mind.
>There is a great chance we will die.
>I only pray that it's swift.
>It's the best we can hope fo-
>The voice of your radio operator interrupts your writing.
>"Leutnant Mous! The ready has been given!'
>You sigh, closing the small book and placing it in your uniform's front pocket.
>Damnit.
>If you get some time later, you will return to your writing.
>If you aren't dead by then.
"Affirmative, Gefreiter. Inform me when the offensive begins."
>"Jawohl, Herr Leutnant."
>Taking a moment, you do one final brief inspection of your crew.
>The radio operator, Gefreiter Klaus Bernhard.
>The best shot out of all of you, you think he could have been a sharpshooter if he wasn't a crewman.
>Though, with his hate for mud, you know that he would absolutely hate being a sniper.
>At least he has a hull mounted MG he can use to take out Ivans with.
>Unterfeldwebel Hans Ackermann.
>The gunner of your merry band, he is not the most accurate shooter, but you couldn't think of anyone nearly as accurate as he is on the move.
>It's saved your skin more times than you can count.
>Gefreiter Erhard Fuchs.
>The driver's last name truly did him justice, he had saved your tank from many a mine's fate.
>You know that had he not been where he was, you would be in many pieces by now.
>Unteroffizier Gerald Hummel.
>A common joke with the loader was to ask him what he's not doing inside a Hummel.
>Most often, his retort was to ask the offender what they're doing out of the pens.
>Which triggered the return jab of fake exasperated claims of not being infantry.
>And then, there was you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:06:00 No.25814631 Report

Quoted By: >>25814639

>>25814621
>Leutnant Anon Y. Mous.
>You're not anything special, your scores proved that.
>What the scores couldn't prove, however, is your penchant to sneak the tank around.
>It's why you've been able to take out IS-1s, even if you're just in a lowly Panzerkampfwagen IV H.
>Oh, what you would give to be the Kommandant des eines Tiger right now...
>For now, you have to deal with the 7.5 cm KwK 40 L/48 gun that your tank packs.
>Satisfied with your rundown, you content yourself with waiting for Klaus to report.
>You don't have to wait long.
>Soon enough, he begins to speak.
>"Battailion gives the order! Operation Zitadelle has commenced! 1st Panzerkompanie is to advance and engage all enemy targets!"
>You raise a hand up to the top of the tank and open the hatch and stand with your upper half out of the tank, while issuing your first order of the offensive.
"Panzer, vor!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:07:01 No.25814639 Report

Quoted By: >>25814650

>>25814631
>It didn't take long for you to come in contact with Ivan.
>After all, they knew the offensive was coming.
>But that's the least of your worries at the moment.
"Loader, AP!"
>"Jawohl!"
>A series of metallic clinks rings out as the loader slides the shell home into the breech, and locks the mechanism.
>"Panzergranate 39 geladen!"
"Feuer!"
>The shot fires, your tank rocking backwards slightly from the force of the recoil.
>You await the report of your gunner as you peer through the slits on the top of your hatch.
>"Hit, low left! Doesn't seem to have done much!"
>Damn those T-34s!
>Why are they so damn hard to punch through?
>You bark out another command to the loader.
"AP!"
>Erhard retrieves another shell from the rack and slams it home as the first shell slides out.
>Locking it, he returns to get another shell prepared.
>"Geladen!"
"Feuer!"
>Once again, your tank rumbles backwards slightly from the force of the shell, and your gunner peers intently through his sight.
>A wicked grin appears on his face.
>"Direct hit! Looks like we hit the Bastart's ammo!"
>You look through the slight amount of space your windows allow.
>The Ivan's tank is spewing flames from the top of the turret, and a expression similar to Erhard's grows on your face.
"Panzer zerstört!"
>Another one appears from over the ridge, but as you command your gunner to aim and engage it, it violently explodes in a manner not unlike a fireball.
>You look to the left to see a Tiger I's barrel let off a plume of smoke as it advances.
>Ducking down, you chuckle.
"That's the power of German Engineering, boys!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:08:24 No.25814650 Report

Quoted By: >>25814659

>>25814639
>Gerald grabs an empty shell from the floor and opens a side panel, tossing it out of the Panzer, before responding to your observation.
>"If they ever find a way to get the used shells OUT of the tank without me having to grab it, I'll truly believe that!"
>"Maybe if you didn't have such such sensitive Frauenhände then you wouldn't complain so much!"
>"Halt's Maul, Klaus!"
>The smile on his face belies the anger his tone had.
>You know, despite your anxiety regarding the offensive, it has gone nothing but smoothly so far!
>In fact, once you crest this hill, you're going to drive the Ivans back to their smelly hole of a capital!
>The Pzkpfw. IV H slowly climbs over the hill, allowing you to see the first glimpse of the battlefield ahead of you.
>What you see wishes you had a full bladder just so you could piss yourself.
>Not even 100 meters away...
>...Is an IS-1.
>"Scheiße, Panzer!"
>Normally you would berate your driver for losing his cool, but at this time you can forgive him.
>Not wanting to get a 12.2cm surprise, you immidiately correct your Panzer's course.
"Zurück mal! Zurück mal, jetzt!"
>Erhard snaps the engine into reverse, backing the tank up for your friendlies to advance and help with the threat.
>*THUNK*
>The sound of the shell making contact almost makes you void your bowels, but you manage to maintain your spinchter's hold.
>A quick inspection lets you know that everyone's fine, but as the driver continues to back up the Panzer, it slowly starts to spin to the left.
>"Verdammt! Ketten verloren!"
>You are now side-on to the IS's mighty canon.
>'Was my voice always this high-pitched?', you think as you shout out a desperate command for your gunner to engage the enemy Panzer.
>He rotates the turret to point at the IS, and then lowers the gun elevation.
>"Target acquired!"
>Clenching your hand tightly, you give the command as you pray it will save you.
"Feuer!"
>The shell thunders out of the barrel, towards the enemy Panzer.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:09:25 No.25814659 Report

Quoted By: >>25814670

>>25814650
>The pinging sound followed by a high pitched ring as the shell spins off of the turret of the IS gives an awful feeling in your gut.
>Every member of the crew who had seen the round bounce off of Ivan's tank (or heard, in Gerald's case) slowly turn to look at you.
>Violently trembling, you reach up and take the cap off of your head and hold it to your chest as you meet the gazes of your crew- no, your friends.
"Aufwiedersehen, meine Freunden."
>A thunderous sound makes itself known on the side of your Panzer, and time seems to slow to a crawl as the shell penetrates the comparatively thin side armor.
>It makes it's way inside, heading on a collision course for the ammo storage.
>You have one last thought before the shell connects, and everything goes to hell.
>If you could do one last thing...you would want to see the hills of your hometown again.
>Well, that and maybe visit your dad's restaurant.
>And swim in the river.
>And go to Oktoberfest.
>And-
>The piling up wishes cease as the shell makes contact, you and your friends perishing in the intense flames as the shells cook off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:10:25 No.25814670 Report

Quoted By: >>25814682

>>25814659
>.
>..
>...
>You groan as you sit up, your back in a strange angle, half-balanced on the platform your feet were supposed to be on.
>Who's bright idea was it to sleep -inside- the Panzer, anyway?
>...wait.
>You didn't go to sleep in your Panzer last night!
>In fact, you could have sworn you died!
>Didn't you?
>Blinking, you look around the interior of the Panzer.
>There's Klaus, Hans, Erhard, -and- Gerald, all fine and at their positions.
>What the hell just happened?
>Well, only one way to find out.
>Taking a deep breath, you do the one thing you know will get them ready.
"ACHTUNG!!!"
>A series of four clanks and curses ring out, and you can't help but smile at the complaints of your friends.
>"Verdammte Arschloch, why did you..."
>Gerald looks confused for a moment, before looking around the Panzer like you did.
>A quizzical expression emerges from his twisted features.
>"...Did we die?"
>You shrug.
"I guess we didn't, by some miracle of god."
>Shaking his head, he looks at the ammo storage behind him.
>"No, the ammo most certainly exploded."
>A sharp expletive comes from your driver, who slowly turns his torso to meet all of your confused visages.
>"Uh...guys, you might want to look outside the tank..."
>The rest of the crew scrambles to get out of their awkward sleeping situations, opening various hatches to look out of the vehicle.
>Standing up on your small observational platform, you open the top hatch and pop out, looking at your surroundings.
>After taking a moment for your eyes to adjust to the brightness, your jaw drops at what you see.
>Trees, everywhere!
>Your friends have the same reaction as you do, and they turn to look at you from their respective openings.
>Unterfeldwebel Ackermann speaks up first, his voice tentative, as if he doesn't believe what he's seeing.
>"Leutnant Mous...just where the hell are we?"
>Taking a moment to compose yourself, you survey the area with a uneasy glare.
"I don't think we're in Kursk anymore."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:11:33 No.25814682 Report

Quoted By: >>25814693

>>25814670
>You ordered a full examination of your Panzer, while Bernhard kept watch with the MP40 that was stored in the Panzer.
>Much to your collective surprise, the Panzer was completely fine.
>The tracks that were destroyed before were in tip-top shape, as if they were just recently fitted.
>Scratching your head, you kick one of the drive wheels in disbelief.
"Well, as far as I can tell, our Panzer's in excellent shape..."
>The crew perks up at your voice, an unsaid question on the air.
"And no, I don't know how we're alive or how the tank is in one piece."
>The crew looks off in their own directions, before Gerald speaks up.
>"Maybe...maybe we went to heaven..."
>The radio operator sputters in disbelief.
>"No way! There's no way you Arschlochen made it into -my- heaven!"
>"What do you mean, 'your heaven'?"
>Klaus huffs and hops off of the tank.
>"If it was -my- heaven, I'd be surrounded by women and wine right now!"
>Erhard shakes his head.
>"How come I knew you would be one of -those- guys?"
>The Gefreiter spins around to face him.
>"What do you mean, 'those guys'?!"
>Erhard smiles wickedly, but you cut him off before he says anything rashly.
"Klaus -does- have a point. If this -was- heaven, do you think we would be stuck with this Scheißwagen?"
>A slow murmured agreement rumbles through the crew, before you speak up again.
"Now that we've confirmed that we're not in heaven, nor hell -because we're not all being dunked in lava baths, Klaus-, we need to find out just where the hell we are. Any ideas?"
>Silence reigns once more as the crew relaxes and tries to think of where they could possibly be.
>If your thoughts are anything to go by, then they also have no idea.
>One of them sits up, taking a deep breath in excitement-
>-before going lax again, a grim expression on his face.
>As you rub your chin in thought, your attention is once again caught by one of your crew members.
>It's Klaus, who is sitting on the edge of the Panzer, gazing into the distance.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:12:34 No.25814693 Report

Quoted By: >>25814706

>>25814682
>Wanting to know what he's doing, you catch his attention.
"Klaus, what do yo-"
>He violently shushes you, before returning his attention to the point he was looking at.
>A few more moments pass, before you decide to pull the ultimate asshole move.
>Pulling rank.
"Gefreiter Klaus Bernhard, I command you to-"
>"Shut up and listen, dammit!"
>His outburst caught you off guard, and you cough the rest of your gathered force into your hand.
"What?"
>"Shhh! Listen, don't you hear something familiar over there?"
>Craning your head, you attempt to listen far off into the distance...
>And are rewarded by the dull sounds of explosions in the distance.
>The color drains from your face, and you spin around and begin to climb the side of your tank.
"Get in the tank, now! Whatever the hell happened, it appears we weren't lucky enough to get out of the war!"
>Hopping up, you pause to look at your dumbfounded crewmates (sans Klaus, he knew the importance of the command) from the top of the tank.
"That means move, dummköpfen! Come on, Los, Los, Los, Los!"
>The command shocks them out of their reverie, and they all begin to rush into the tank, getting to their positions.
>You shout out commands to the crew as they settle in.
>"Loader, AP! Radio Operator, check the frequencies, see if we can get in contact with friendlies! Gunner, check the sights! Driver, ignition!"
>A chorus of 'Jawohl, Herr Leutnant!' ring out, and the crew begin their various tasks.
>"Panzergranate 39 geladen!"
>The engine roars to life, and you issue one final command.
"Driver, get us moving! Ivan's not gonna wait for us to show up!"
>He cranks the levers forward, and your Panzer lurches into action, the powerful engine growling as the treads dig into the terrain.
>You turn out of the tank with your binoculars in hand, ready to look for targets.
>Sighing heavily, you fiddle with the zoom wheel on the ocular device.
>Seems that even when you die, you're still bound to fight Ivan.
>Great.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:13:35 No.25814706 Report

Quoted By: >>25814716

>>25814693
>The Panzer thunders through the forest, the brushes in it's path being devoured underneath it's mighty treads.
>The sounds Klaus noticed before have intensified, slowly becoming more and more audible.
>As it stands, you can now hear it over the growling of the engine and the crunch of vegetation.
>Fitting your binoculars to your face, you look into the distance, but curse as the trees block your vision.
>Say what you will about Rusland, the plains gave you much better situational awareness then they did now.
>Though, it doesn't seem like you're going to have to worry about it much longer.
>The shells you heard before are now much more defined, giving off strange sounds.
>'Maybe the Ivans are firing a new type of shell', you think.
>It sounded out like a normal round, but with a sort of fizzing sound like a firework.
>The sound of the explosions were more higher pitched, instead of the bassy sound you're used to.
>As you clear another tree, you manage to see a small crest.
>Finally, out of the treeline, and into the firestorm!
>Here's hoping they weren't expecting a Panzer from their flank.
>As you crest the treeline, you turn in and lean down to your radio operator.
"Anything on the radio, Klaus?"
>He shakes his head, still turning the dials.
>"Nothing, Anon. It's like we're the only ones with this type of radio out here!"
"Keep searching, maybe we're just out of range."
>Klaus's "Zu Befehl!" rings out as you begin to stand up again, catching the attention of your gunner.
"Get ready to engage on my mark, Hans."
>He nods as he continues to stare down his gun sight.
>You go into the top of the commander's cupola, and peer through the slits, waiting to see what there is on the other side of the treeline.
>As soon as you crest the small hill before the firefight in front of you, you bark out an order.
"Panzer, halt!"
>The Panzer grinds to a halt, and you peer out of the small slits on the top of the cupola.
>What you see dumbfounds you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:14:36 No.25814716 Report

Quoted By: >>25814729

>>25814706
>The gunner, who has a much clearer view because of the magnified sight, voices your confusion.
>"Was der Hölle?"
>In front of you are two groups of Panzers firing at each other with strange shells that glow green as they fly through the air, before exploding with heavy force and a flash of green light.
>The two sides have drastically different Panzers, with one group being bright shades of white and gold, and the other a muddy brown mixed with black.
>The designs are unlike anything you've ever seen, with both side's tanks being very blocky, except for a few points where there were angles built into the armor, mainly on the lower and upper glacis's.
>That's not even the most confusing bit.
>One side has a multitude of...small horses?
>The other has...dogmen?
>Just where the fuck -are- you?
>Everyone who has glimpsed the two sides (except for Gerald, that's the price he pays for being able to handle the shells) have been struck speechless (once again, except for Gerald, who is questioning everyone excessively on what they saw).
>Hans finds his voice and turns to you, the exact definition of confusion on his face.
>"Uh...Leutnant Mous...what the hell do I shoot at?"
>You have been struck speechless by the event.
>Nothing has ever prepared you for this moment.
>They never covered 'Post-death Experiences' at the Panzerschüle.
>Your jaw flaps uselessly, before Erhard speaks up worriedly.
>"Anon, the ones on the right are starting to turn their turrets towards us!"
>Too far gone, your mind struggles to process this bit of information, before the sound of their weird shells makes itself known.
>*ffffzzzZZZZZ-CRACK*
>The wave of force shakes you out of your stupor, and you pop up into the commanders hatch to see a trail of green-tinted smoke coming from one of the dogmen's tanks.
>Relief floods through your system.
>Finally, a target that you can shoot at!
"Gunner, engage the enemy that dared to scratch our beautiful Panzer!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:15:37 No.25814729 Report

Quoted By: >>25814745

>>25814716
>The promise of firing the cannon breaks him out of his stupor.
>"Which one?"
"The one that just fired at us, you should still see the trail of smoke from his barrel!"
>He peers through the sight, scanning for the target.
>"The brown and black one?"
"Yes! Now engage him before he loads again!"
>Returning to the task at hand, he accesses the controls and maneuvers the turret to point in the enemy Panzer's direction, before depressing the gun to point at it.
>A moment later, he blurts out a report.
>"Target acquired!"
>A small smile appears on your face, one that only a man who is about to witness the destruction of his enemy can bear witness to.
"Feuer!"
>The cannon rockets backwards as the shell fires out of the barrel, embedding itself in the enemy armor just below the turret, but above the tracks.
>What happened next took you totally by surprise.
>That seems to be happening a lot, lately.
>The shell made contact, and you must have hit the ammo rack because it blows up in such a massive fireball, the force appears to rip the enemy Panzer nearly in half.
>Hans freezes in place at the sight.
>Erhard, having nothing much better to do than watch what was going on, whistles lowly.
>"Jesus und Maria, good fucking effect on target!"
>Blinking yourself out of the shock, you issue an order while you come to terms with what you just saw.
"Loader, AP!"
>Gerald, who lacks the ability to see what was going on outside because of no window, springs into action, dropping the loading mechanism down, spitting the spent shell out.
>He slams a shell home, and locks it up, fully readying the cannon.
>"Geladen!"
>It had a chain reaction with Hans, who begins to rotate the turret again, setting his sights on another Panzer.
>"Target acquired!"
"Feuer!"
>Surprisingly, the shell didn't hit the ammo rack, but landed in the rear of the tank and sets the engine on fire.
>Instead of it being a reddish orange fire, it lights up with a blue flame, with a slight tinge of green to it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:16:37 No.25814745 Report

Quoted By: >>25814756

>>25814729
>The dogmen in the tank dive out of the top, the tank slowly being consumed in flames as what was apparently the fuel tank bursts from the heat, covering the ones who attempted to flee the wrecked Panzer in the same flames that erupted from the tank.
"Loader, keep putting in AP! Gunner, engage as many of the brown and black Panzers as you can! Feuer Frei!"
>The two crew members shout out 'Zu Befehl' as they busy along with their tasks, when you notice something odd.
>Klaus is still fiddling with the radio.
>One way to fix this.
"Hej, Klaus! Make yourself useful and light up those Hundmänner down there."
>He looks up at you with a passive expression, before it dawns on you what you said.
>Klaus swivels in his chair and looks down the MG's sight, before the telltale chatter of the MG34 bounces around in the hull of your Panzer.
>The cannon fires once more, slamming into another tank by the sound of Hans cheering, followed swiftly by mechanical *clinks* as Gerald loads another shell.
>As well as it's going, you only have enough chances before the enemy hit you.
>Gerald aims at another enemy Panzer, before shouting and crouching down.
>"Incoming!"
>Not too long afterwards, a heavy force hits the front of your Panzer, almost knocking you down while succeeding in knocking Klaus out of his seat.
>Shaking your head from the wave of force, you call down into the crew area.
"Head count!"
>"Up!"
>"Up!"
>"Up!"
>"Gah, fuck...my head...Up!"
>You poke your head into the cupola and look out of the slits provided, to see the enemy line slowly crumbling.
>And the Panzer that had fired the shot that just connected at you before has attempted to go full 'Nein' and get the hell out of there.
>Unfortunately for them, Hans was on the case.
>The turret slowly tracks it's movement, before stopping and unloading the payload into the tanks rapidly moving rear.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:17:38 No.25814756 Report

Quoted By: >>25814767

>>25814745
>Once again, the engine cooks off with that weird blue-green flames, but it reaches the ammo rack and launches the turret up into the air about 10 meters, before coming back to the ground.
>The dogmen's infantry have realized the battle has been lost for them, and begin to retreat from the field, leaving their weapons behind.
>Your supposed 'allies' press the advantage, pushing them even further away.
>Of course, you couldn't let them have -all- the fun.
"Gunner, load HE."
>The previously loaded shell was ejected and placed back on the rack, being swapped out for a HE round.
>Gerald slides it home, and locks the mechanism.
>"Sprenggranate geladen!"
>Hans adjusts his aim slightly, aiming for a clump of infantry.
>The shell is fired, landing in the front of the group, but the shell did it's job, shredding the group of dogmen into little bits of kibble.
>Gerald tries to load another shell, but by the time it's loaded and in the 'up' position, the enemy has cleared the field, leaving you and the equines the victors.
>Speaking of the little horses...
>They appear to be all milling around each other, pointing at your Panzer.
>The only thing you can tell that they're doing, is discussing -something- about you.
>You can only hope it's not 'Let's shoot at the Panzer that just helped us!'.
>Not that you're too concerned with one or two Panzers...
>But there are a hell of a lot of Panzers there...
>Eventually, a small motor car appears out of the treeline to the rear of the equine's Panzerreihen.
>One of the horses that gets out of the car adjusts his cap as he looks over in your direction.
>Obviously a leader of the equines.
>He speaks with a collection of Panzerführen from the tanks.
>You can only guess what they're saying...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:18:39 No.25814767 Report

Quoted By: >>25814786

>>25814756
>Be General Valiant Command.
>You're currently speaking with the tank commanders of the 38th Equestrian Tank company about the gray tank on the hill, with markings even you have never seen before.
>From what you had heard from your radio jockeys, this battle was going to be a very slow grind to the end, in the favor of those sun-forsaken Diamond Dogs.
>And yet, just when your forces were about to crumble...
>They appeared.
>Like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, they rained holy fire upon the enemy.
>Well, not exactly.
>But you did love your poetic comparisons.
>At any rate, the sound and projectile of the cannon was unlike anything the commanders of the 38th had ever seen.
>Instead of being a magical explosive, it fired what looked like an extremely fast slug of metal, with the magical powder being detonated at the start to give the shell some extra speed instead of punch on detonation.
>But whatever they had loaded, it delivered a hell of a punch to those mutt's armor.
>Looking over at the field, you see the remainder of the first tank they engaged.
>It's little more than twisted scrap now.
>Turning your attention to the hill, you once again behold the gray tank.
>Your commanders chatter to you about what it had done, but it's nothing they haven't told you.
>They're praising the crew of that tank like it was commanded by Celestia herself.
>But you know that they have no idea what they're doing there too, if the reports that say they delayed their shots until they were fired upon are true.
>The symbols on the tank...
>It looks like four 90 degree angles surrounding a white and black cross.
>It's nothing you know of, even the obscure allies of the Gryphonian alliance.
>And that means they can be persuaded to help you...
>Hmmm...
>A small, gentle smile appears on your muzzle, and you speak up, interrupting one of your assistants prattling on about 'official procedures'.
"I'm going to go talk to them."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:19:40 No.25814786 Report

Quoted By: >>25814799

>>25814767

>There's a few moments of silence as you walk off, as if they were in shock from your actions, before they all try to speak over each other.
>"General, no! You don't know if they're actually friendly!"
>"General, they might be conditional allies!"
>"General, what would we do if they're hostile, and attack you!"
>"General, who would lead us if you died!"
>Their pleas fell on deaf ears, however, and you calmly trotted over to the mysterious tank.
>While the turret doesn't move, the feeling of eyes are upon you as you slowly advance upon the 'maybe-but-might-not-be' friendly.
>You come to a halt just a few feet from the front of the tank, and snap to a crisp salute.
"I am General Valiant command of the Equestrian Armed forces. I am grateful for the support you could offer to the 38th in their hour of need. Mayhap you could come out of your tank, so that we may talk stallion to stallion?"
>That'll get em, use the fancy words.
>Never fails to impress.
>However, what sounds out from the interior of the tank doesn't sound like any known language you have heard of.
>"Wer hier spricht English?"
>"Nicht mir."
>"Nicht mir, auch."
>"Auch."
>"Auch."
>"Verdammte Scheiße!"

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:20:41 No.25814799 Report

Quoted By: >>25815052 >>25815080 >>25815486 >>25831509

>>25814786
>The top of the tank's hatch slid open, with a strange creature poking out of the top with a cap sitting evenly on it's brow, it's uniform being a matching black with it's hat.
>You hear the slight click over the din of the engine as the being snaps to his own form of attention, holding one of it's appendages to it's brow.
>Then, as if that wasn't a big enough surprise, it speaks in heavily-accented yet fluent Equestrian, with only a few words you don't recognize, but pick apart with context to find out their meaning.
>"I am Leutnant Anon Y. Mous, Kommandant of this Panzer of the 4th Panzerarmee, 1st Panzerkompanie. As for the aid of your Panzers, you are very much welcome. However, I would like to ask you a question in return."
>You both snap your salutes down at the same time, after which a very confused expression appears upon the creature's face.
>"Just where the hell on Earth -are- we?"

Man, it felt good to write this. Comments and criticisms are allowed and encouraged on this piece, as well as requests if you have a desire for more of this story. If you have any questions, be sure to ask them and I'll try to answer them as best I can.

If anyone remembers my writing style, especially this last bit, be prepared for something special tomorrow.
Shit, forgot to post a pic of the Panzer IV H at the first post. Here it is now.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:42:11 No.25815052 Report

Quoted By: >>25819220

>>25814799
Interesting. I'm not too fond of war stories, what with them normally winding up being bad reads in these threads, but it's already got me hooked into wanting to continue.

I would mention when you use a pony POV to try and keep the lexicon of the race fitted to them. Reading their POV and seeing words like 'hell' over something such as 'tartarus' would be more fitting of their own culture. Remember, one of the strengths that an AiE story can hold is the cultural differences clashing from one to the other, try to use this to your advantage at all times and don't lose consistency when doing so.

And finally, please get a pastebin. It's a pain in the ass for readers to stay up to date on your work without it, some do miss threads and aren't willing to dig in a past one just to catch up with a story with no paste.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:44:42 No.25815080 Report

Quoted By: >>25819220

>>25814799
nice story too bad my M4A3E2 will wreck your kraut tank

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

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IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Sat 19 Dec 2015 05:54:49 No.25815179 Report

Quoted By:

To whomever sent me all this, you have my most sincere thanks. Many sensible chuckles were had, between the Matroyshka doll boxes, the rubber spider, and the ice themed paraphernalia. And the Mini Cooper looks awesome, I'm probably going to build that tomorrow. Here it all is in shitty iPhone quality.

Also, RPBN, if you were wondering who sent your gift, it was me. You're very welcome.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 06:21:02 No.25815486 Report

Quoted By: >>25819220

>>25814799
Very interested. No idea want most of the German mean but it's easy to ignore for the most part with context clues. I'm going to guess that Ivan is a name for Russians and it's World War 2?

>Shit, forgot to post a pic of the Panzer IV H at the first post.

Yeah I was going to comment how you should provide images for that type of stuff.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 06:32:50 No.25815630 Report

Quoted By: >>25815668 >>25817660 >>25817673

Why did Pinkie Pie cross the road?

Han Solo is killed by Kylo Ren, his son

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 06:35:53 No.25815668 Report

Quoted By:

>>25815630
Jokes on you, I don't care about Star Wars!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 07:26:38 No.25816214 Report

Quoted By: >>25817664

Haven't been around here for a few months. Is somewritefag dead, or just busy?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 08:16:14 No.25816609 Report

Quoted By:

We're all dead Anon. We just find humerus to write from the grave.

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

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Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:11:26 No.25816961 Report

Quoted By: >>25816971

Who wants updates? Cuz I got updates.

Am I Evil 20

>You open the fridge and frown in despair.
“Eriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis...”
>”Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?” you hear from the other room.
“We're out of milk.”
>”That sucks.”
>You walk into the living room where Eris is watching cartoons and having cereal and chocolate milk still in her pajamas.
“So we need to go get some.”
>”Anon, what day is it?”
“...Thursday?”
>Eris chews another spoonful. “It's our day off the band.”
“Yeeeeesss...?”
>”And so why would we go out and -do stuff- on our day off?”
>You're silent for a minute.
“Because I want milk.”
>Eris falls on her side onto the couch, her cereal continues to float and be fed into her mouth. “Nnnoooooooooo...”
“Eeeeeeeeriiiiiiiis...”
>You walk over, grab her foot, and start tugging.
“Come on, sometimes we have to go out and do things.”
>”I'd rather we stay in and do me.”
>You cross your eyes and put your feet in front of your bottom lip.
“Hurr hurr hurr.”
>Eris mirrors your expression. “Hurr hurr hurr hurr.”
“Come on, seriously, I want milk.”
>Eris rolls her eyes. “Why do you wait till -now- to do this? Why not get some roadie to go?”
“Because I'm not a worthless sack of shit.”
>”I am.” she responds.
>Pfft.
“You know you can't make chocolate milk without the milk, right?”
>Eris is silent for a full ten seconds before she retorts. “...I'm magic, I probably could.”
“But you might not be able to.”
>”Y-you don't know that.”
“I know that there's a 100% chance you'll have chocolate milk if we go to the store.”
>She's silent again before speaking softly. “I want to get cookies too.”
“It's a deal.”
>”Let me find my pants then.” she say as she rolls off the couch.

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:12:31 No.25816971 Report

Quoted By: >>25816997

>>25816961
>A few minutes later the two of you are walking down the road from your house. Eris knits her fingers between yours in the cold early spring air as you go.
>”So I'm thinking of getting something pierced.”
>You try to suppress a surprised cough.
“As an effected party of that bit of you, I must express my discomfort in the thought of metal there.”
>Eris shoulder checks you lightly. “I meant my nose or ears, ass.”
“You were being vague, fuck you. I get your ears, but why your nose?”
>Eris shrugs. “Tirek had a nose-ring in the old tales.”
“You're old as dirt, were you really not around when the old man was knocking about?”
>Eris takes little offense, she's head it all before. She was still a little vain though. “I was busy back then, you wouldn't get it.”
>You don't pry.
“Earrings could look nice, but your face is too pretty to ruin with bits and bobs of metal.”
>She smirks a bit. “Not your best save.”
“Abloo bloo bloo. Your look is fine, don't worry about it, worry about the music.”
>”Mm...” Eris says.
>The two of you walk along a bit more.
>”...Anon? Have you thought what you want to do after this?”
“Have a late breakfast and then watch tv in bed?”
>Eris plays with her hair, a habit she did when she was nervous. “I mean after us, after the band. No band lasts forever...”

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:14:55 No.25816997 Report

Quoted By: >>25817004

>>25816971
>Ah...
>She wasn't wrong. Even the old poppy crap bands of yester year were rare to last too long. Truth be told after meeting up with everyone and starting the Neon Knights, you hadn't put much thought into what came after you were all sick of each other...
“...I dunno. You?”
>Eris moves her hair and looks away from you. “I dunno...maybe do a solo act? Get some of my less metal songs out of me for a few albums. I've always been more classical than everyone else.
>You mull that over, the idea didn't immediately turn you off and Eris's soul music she'd shown to you was fun to play along to.
“Do you need a guitar player?”
>Eris shuts her mouth and looks up at you, you were about six inches taller than her. “You're serious?”
“Yeah? Sure? Why not? Could be fun.”
>She blinks twice but keeps looking at you. “Why? You've always been heavy and sharp, wouldn't...whatever I do be weird for you?”
“Maybe, but I can learn.”
>You bring your hands up.
“Besides, no place I'd rather be.”
>Eris positively beams at you and lets go of your hand in order to wrap both her arms around yours, she nuzzles your shoulder but doesn't say anything.
>Neither did you, nothing really needed to be.

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:15:57 No.25817004 Report

Quoted By: >>25817011

>>25816997
“Hmmm...Do I want Admiral Featherweight or Gorilla Munch?”
>Eris leans against the small handcart you have. “You said we only needed milk...”
“Yeah but we could also probably use some other stuff.”
>Eris groans and seems to melt onto the floor.
“Quitcher bitchin'.”
>”It's my day ooooooffff...I want to be at home either naked or in my pajamas...I'm missing my shows...my feet hurt...”
“Stoooooooop.”
>”Noooooooo.”
>”Excuse me?”
>You turn your head and look behind Eris who reverses like an old VCR and goes back to her feet with an audible pop. “Eh?” she grunts.
>In the aisle behind you was a shorter woman with purple and silver hair and a gray sweater on. You and Eris glance at each other for a moment.
>”Who's askin'?” inquires.
>The woman moves a strand of hair from her face and walks a few steps forward .”My name's Twilight Velvet...” she giggles “I'm uh...a fan.”

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:17:06 No.25817011 Report

Quoted By: >>25817043

>>25817004
>You see Eris thinking over what she said. “Velvet...velvet...way...Twilight? As in-” Eris snaps a pair of glasses onto her face, changes her hair purple, and adopts a haughty pout before she poofs them away.
>Twilight Velvet laughs into her hand. “Yes, that's my little girl, I'm very proud...don't tell her about this though.”
>”Uhhh...” Eris says.
>You step forward a bit.
“I think what my...friend here is trying to ask is why the mother of the lead of a band who was...let's just say “contemporary” since we're in public would be a fan of...well...”
>You point at Eris, smoke is coming from her ears.
>Twilight Velvet digs into her purse. “Well us proud moms weren't always so vanilla. I was a young lady too once!” she produces a small notepad and pen. “Could I...trouble you for an autograph?”
>Eris's eyes now start spinning like a slot machine until the words “TILT” appear in her irises.
“Hold on.”
>You grab Eris's hair and give it a tug, her eyes rotate back to their normal gold and red and she pops up.
>”Uhh...sure? Sure. I've always got time for a fan.” she says, taking the notepad and pen.
>Twilight Velvet is beside herself in the aisle as Eris signs her name and does a little doodle.

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:20:38 No.25817043 Report

Quoted By: >>25817049

>>25817011
>You and Eris leave the store and cut through the park on your way home.
“That was nice of you.”
>Eris turns a bit red and plays with her hair. “She was a fan...”
“A fan who's daughter turned you to stone once.”
>”I made some of my best bird-friends like that.”
>You chuckle and keep walking with her, but Eris lags behind a bit.
“Eri?”
>”...Do you hear something?” she asks.
>You close your eyes and listen to the music that wafts through the trees.
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztvsL2j4rkQ
“...Wow, that's pretty goo-Eris?”
>Eris hurries down the path in another direction, looking about for the source of the tunes.
“Shit.”
>You follow behind her and find her standing a few feet from a girl with spiky hair and purple frosted tops strumming away on an acoustic.
>A hat with some bits sits in front of her and she continues to play with her eyes closed. Eventually it ends, another passerby dropping some bits into the hat. “Be here all week, buddy.” she says.
>Eris claps like a retarded seal after the song ends and grins. “Awesome! Anon, give me money to give her money!”
“...You're serious?”
>“Money money money money!”

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:21:42 No.25817049 Report

Quoted By: >>25817086

>>25817043
>You hand Eris a few bits which she immediately deposits into the hat. The busker takes them out and counts them before looking up. “Mighty kind of you. Any requests?”
>”I'll think about it. You sound awesome, who are you?”
>She pours the bits into a bag and puts the hat on her head. “Name's Gilda, local busker.”
>You take a few steps forward.
“You're pretty good. You in a band or something?”
>Gilda strums her strings and tunes herself “In-between, making some cash on the side this way. Got mouths to feed.” Gilda looks up at a girl with small pigtails who was playing around near a pond with some ducklings, the girl looks back at her and Gilda nods before strumming again.
>Gilda strums a bit more. “Don't think I don't reco'nize you two. I know stars when I see 'em.”
>You instinctively step behind Eris, this was why you wore a mask.
>”If not for you two...I would be able to make any money for us. Few years ago music was almost gone outside of the radio, now a girl like me can afford to make an almost living off this.”
>She looks up at you again. “So thanks.”
>If Eris felt weird in the store, you did now.
“Y-you're welcome.”
>Gilda sticks a pick in her mouth. “Here's one free of charge.” she says as she starts to strum again.
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LreG-Xr_rXg
>Eris and you take a seat on a nearby bench.
“...We inspired someone.”
>”Pretty cool, huh?”
“Better than your lame cartoons any day.”
>Eris doesn't say anything and just rests her head on your shoulder.

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sat 19 Dec 2015 09:27:09 No.25817086 Report

Quoted By: >>25817489 >>25829672 >>25833550

>>25817049
Pastebin updated.
http://pastebin.com/u/Mandroid
For 8th: http://pastebin.com/Y59Mba5K
Thoughts?

Thank god this one was cute, short, and sweet because it's too damn close to Christmas for 4000 words of Dragonforce again.

Will I have something to deliver here for Christmas? Like some retarded dickhead Santa? Will it be Christmas themed?
Maybe, we'll see how the week goes.

If I don't stop by, Merry Christmas, fags!

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sat 19 Dec 2015 10:52:27 No.25817466 Report

Quoted By: >>25829672

>>25813593
I'm... I'm sorry Hiro.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 11:00:27 No.25817489 Report

Quoted By:

>>25817086

Apple apple apple Bros/FM apple apple.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 11:53:48 No.25817649 Report

Quoted By: >>25817652

>Be Anon.
>Super stud in Equestria.
>All the mares want a taste of that hawt monkey dick of yours.
>Even some stallions too.
>Truly a blessing and a curse.
>You wake up in the morning and even your mother, the pony who took you in when you found yourself lost and scared in this world, wanted to take you to bed.
>Sorry, Momma Twi.
>As much as you'd love to give it to her, it would feel wrong…
>Well… Maybe just once… Maybe it's not so bad here…
>On your way to school, all the ponies would stop to look at you, eyes filled with lust.
>They looked like they might take any chance they could get to pounce on you, like if you looked away for too long or something.
>You wouldn't give them the chance.
>As you walk in the classroom the class goes dead silent, polar opposite from all the talk and commotion you heard from outside.
>Friends having fun together before class went to staring at you.
>Even the teacher, Miss Cheerilee stopped what she was doing just to give you her gaze.
>Three ponies you recognize as the Cutie Mark Crusaders giving you the bedroom eyes as you passed, even Diamond Tiara too.
>You take your seat and prepare for class.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 11:55:19 No.25817652 Report

Quoted By:

>>25817649
>Miss Cheerilee sending the Equestrian map back up, revealing the chalk board, she announces what today’s lessons would be about.
>Your face drains of color when you realize the only thing on the board is chalk drawings of dicks and clipped pictures of your dick.
>How the fuck did they get those.
>”Today's lesson…” Cheerilee stops to lick her lips “Will be about Mr. Anonymous' dick.”
>All the ponies turn to look at you.
>”Anon! You're going to be late for school if you don't leave here soon!”
>Oh shit.
>You close the spiral notebook you were writing into and walk off to get ready for class.
>The self insert story you're writing is coming along nicely.
>Twimom kisses you on the forehead before sending you off out the door.
>As you walk, none of the ponies stop to look your way, not even the mares.
>You're teacher doesn't even look up when you enter, the class keeps talking.
>Taking your seat, you get hit with what you think is a spitball.
>You knew it was Diamond Tiara, you don't even have to turn around to know.
>The CMC attempt to defend you, which is nice of them, but at this point, you don't really care.
>Eventually, Miss Cheerilee stops them by threatening to give them extra homework.
>Seeing Scootaloo look back before continuing to her seat, you swear you even saw her blush.
>You chuckle, wondering if it's possible she liked you.
>Fin.

Haven't written in a long time, but I got a request for Anon to write a shitty self insert of himself where he gets all the mares and shit.

Decided to post it here... And now I'm gone again.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 12:01:55 No.25817660 Report

Quoted By:

>>25815630
The fuck did I do to you anon?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 12:02:58 No.25817664 Report

Quoted By:

>>25816214
Literally dead

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 12:06:01 No.25817673 Report

Quoted By:

>>25815630
Saw it opening night because I knew this would happen otherwise.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 14:33:12 No.25818120 Report

Quoted By: >>25818152 >>25818314

Bumping makes this horse happy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 14:40:52 No.25818152 Report

Quoted By:

>>25818120
Fuck that horse.
Fuck her right in the pooper.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 15:12:27 No.25818288 Report

Quoted By: >>25819070

>>25811513
Hay nuggets and fries. Sounds really filling. The man will starve to death. Keep it up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 15:18:50 No.25818314 Report

Quoted By: >>25818325

>>25818120
Why do people think those 3d models are anything but pig disgusting? The show's appearance was not designed for a straight translation to such things.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sat 19 Dec 2015 15:21:02 No.25818325 Report

Quoted By:

>>25818314
Because if you try to fuck something that's 2d you'll cut your dick off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 15:58:30 No.25818537 Report

Quoted By: >>25819070

>>25811471
>After a short yet very strenuous spring,...
sprint*

>>25811477
>Thirty five bits is sheer robbery. Especially when he uses the money to
Incomplete sentence.

>>25811513
Fuckin' love nekubi, nezumi, and Hoihoi. It's a shame that something happened with Hoihoi and he won't be able to art anymore.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 16:10:16 No.25818601 Report

Quoted By:

>>25812196
Good god that was adorable. And she ranks last out of M6 for me.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 16:24:49 No.25818681 Report

Quoted By: >>25818705 >>25819003 >>25829824

>>25811032
https://derpiboo.ru/1031714

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 16:27:36 No.25818705 Report

Quoted By: >>25819934

>>25818681

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 17:04:31 No.25819003 Report

Quoted By:

>>25818681
Unf...
I never got rimmed... does it really feel that good?

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sat 19 Dec 2015 17:11:31 No.25819070 Report

Quoted By: >>25819140

>>25818537
Will correct those mistakes after work. Thanks.
I knew that I wanted to complete some sentence yesterday, but I couldnt find it. Happens.

>>25818288
Dont worry, Anon wont starve. He will get something better to eat later~

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sat 19 Dec 2015 17:22:45 No.25819140 Report

Quoted By: >>25819769

>>25819070
>Anon is in Ponyville
>None of the pony foods provide him with any nourishment
>The ponies race to find something Anon can eat so that he won't starve
>Eventually a solution is found
>It is determined that Spiderpony food will nourish Anon
>Even if it's kind of gross
>Now the friendly spiderponys from a nearby town are tracking Anon, trying to save him from starvation
>By forcefeeding him the liquified insides of various monsters they caught and coccooned in silk
>Eventually Anon gets caught in one of the webs the Spiderponies left to help find him
>And is set upon by doting arachnids who have decided they know what's best for him
>"That poor alien, just let me get some basilisk goo for him."

!Gr2D8UC9ww

!Gr2D8UC9ww Sat 19 Dec 2015 17:36:15 No.25819220 Report

Quoted By:

>>25815052
Thanks for the comment. I see your point, and will amend that in the future.
still feels weird spelling fuck 'buck' as them, though.
Oh, I -do- have a pastebin. Since no one guessed who I was, I'll put on a trip to give you a hint. See if you can recognize it.
I'll have this story and the other chapter I'm working on up later today.
>>25815080
Not bad, Americanski. Not bad...
>>25815486
Yep, Ivan is german slang for Russian, at least in WWII.
If anyone has problems reading the german and would like translations, don't hesitate to mention it. I'll put something up in parantheses or brackets so you guys can tell what's going on.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 18:54:20 No.25819769 Report

Quoted By:

>>25819140

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 19:19:09 No.25819934 Report

Quoted By: >>25820008

>>25818705
That's a pretty good way to not get such a treatment ever again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 19:30:31 No.25820008 Report

Quoted By: >>25820051

>>25819934
good

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 19:40:24 No.25820051 Report

Quoted By: >>25820326

>>25820008
You'll never get your waifu interested in you if you aren't willing to experiment a little.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 20:23:04 No.25820326 Report

Quoted By:

>>25820051
I guess I have to return the favor.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 20:24:36 No.25820336 Report

Quoted By: >>25820414 >>25823820

Right then, heading out to see TFA, if I don't make it back, tell lovelymuffins I said she's cute

anonpencil

anonpencil Sat 19 Dec 2015 20:25:28 No.25820344 Report

Quoted By: >>25821280 >>25822030

Hey, wanted to let folks know that all secret santa gifts are either sent or in the process of being sent.
Thanks for being on the ball, you should all be receiving your presents shortly if you have not already.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 20:33:17 No.25820405 Report

Quoted By:

Cross-posting
>>25818645
>>25818771
"I'm gonna do it."
>You stand, poised to do 'that thing she told you not to do'
>Twilight frowns.
>"No Anon, don't do that thing."
>You smile wider
"I'm gonna do it."
>"Anon, please."
>There's a pained not in her voice
"I WILL!"
>"I'll give you a free book if you don't do the thing!"
>Bargaining, ha.
>Now's the time to strike!
>You grin and pull two books from the shelf
>Staring at Twilight the entire time, you cross your arms and watch her tremble in rage as you put them into opposite slots
"Your move, Purple."
>"ARGH!"
>God you love doing the thing...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 20:34:02 No.25820414 Report

Quoted By: >>25820541

>>25820336
Can I be cute too?

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sat 19 Dec 2015 20:49:11 No.25820541 Report

Quoted By: >>25822503

>>25820414
Of course.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 22:03:27 No.25821280 Report

Quoted By:

>>25820344
Merry Christmas, Pencil-san.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 19 Dec 2015 23:25:13 No.25822030 Report

Quoted By:

>>25820344
I sent a horse dildo. Merry Christmas senpai.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 00:13:13 No.25822503 Report

Quoted By: >>25823096

>>25820541
Awesome

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sun 20 Dec 2015 01:05:25 No.25823096 Report

Quoted By: >>25823824

>>25822503
Every Anon can be cute! He just has to be a filly first.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:02:03 No.25823706 Report

Quoted By: >>25823720

Okay... Update tomorrow... Got roughly half of what I wanted to write for the next part now.
Also bumps and stuff for more P&L stories.
I fucking love his stuff.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:03:22 No.25823720 Report

Quoted By:

>>25823706
I meant L&P of course...

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:14:57 No.25823820 Report

Quoted By:

>>25820336
I return!

>10/10 Better than the prequels -IGN

Gonna have to see if I can get back to writing some greens for The Force in Harmony

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:15:26 No.25823824 Report

Quoted By: >>25823860

>>25823096
Can I just be cute without tf?

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:17:59 No.25823852 Report

Quoted By: >>25823861

Right, it's been awhile, huh? Time to delve back into the life of a dwarven monk once again.

>The streets were clear as you advanced on the treebrary, which didn't help your tense mood.
>There's no telling what that little unicorn will do in revenge for your pre-emptive celebration.
>Though, considering all that she did before was tickle you for supposedly 'kidnapping' the smaller lasses...
>Maybe it won't be all that bad?
>You give a small jump as you hop up the small stairs in front of the door, and very slowly open it while peering inside.
>...
>Looks like there's no one there.
>Maybe she went out somewhere?
>Phew, that's a load off of your back.
>You walk into the house, closing the door behind you.
>Now, where to put these groceries.
>You start to walk to the kitchen, when a strange tingling sensation comes over what you're carrying.
>Ah, Twilight's helping you bring the groceries in.
"Thanks, Twi-"
>Wait...
>Ever so slowly, you turn your head to look at the unicorn in question, as the groceries you brought home slowly float into the kitchen, covered in her magical aura.
>The look on her face is...unnerving.
>You shift from foot to foot uneasily.
"Erm...lo there, lass. How was your rest?"
>She ignores your question, and turns to pull a book off of a shelf and use her magic to turn the pages.
>Okay, then...
"I'll just take my leave, then."
>Taking a few steps backwards, you begin to head for the exit
"See you in a while, la-"
>"Do you know how exhausting it is to teleport something to a location you've never been?"
>The sudden question catches you off guard, and you stop suddenly.
"I- no, not really."
>She continues to flip through the book.
>"Oh? Interesting..."
>A half of a minute passes with her not saying anything, nor responding to your presence.
>You manage to get to the door, whether she noticed or not, and try the knob.
>A dull lavender coats the apparatus, and you find yourself unable to budge it in any direction.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:18:59 No.25823860 Report

Quoted By: >>25827072

>>25823824
Perhaps~
Maybe not for me but your waifu will always think you're cute

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:19:00 No.25823861 Report

Quoted By: >>25823871

>>25823852
>You feel eyes on your back, and you slowly turn around to see Twilight sitting, a dissappointed look on her face.
>"Leaving so soon?"
>You say nothing, simply trying to move the doorknob.
>No dice.
>After a moment, a feeling of weightlessness overtakes you.
>You float up into the air, and are turned around to see a decidedly agitated look thrown in your direction, courtesy of the lavender unicorn who is so generously giving you the zero-gravity experience.
>"Do you have any idea how late I had to stay up to clean up your mess?"
"I dinnae-"
>"Very, very, very late."
>The residual effects of her sleep deprivation are now known to you as you focus on her face, the bags under her eyes becoming very apparrent.
>"Now, if you would, look at this through my perspective."
>She clears her throat, holding a hoof to her muzzle before beginning.
>"I go to Canterlot with Spike, have a nice but exhausting dinner catching up with my parents, take a long night train home, only to find that the individual that I so kindly let lodge in my house has hosted a party without my knowledge."
>She looks up at you and speaks with slight sarcasm.
>By 'slight', that would be like saying the ocean was 'kinda wet' or the desert was 'kinda hot'.
>"So, I had to spend a few hours sending everypony home while I would have liked nothing more than to just go to bed. But that's not the worst part."
>She shudders.
>"There were a lot of ponies who couldn't hold their drink. They...well, you know what happens when somepony can't hold their drink."
>The unicorn shivers and lowers her head, muttering to herself.
>You catch a few words, them being 'puke' and 'cleaning spells'.
>Yeesh.
>After she composes herself, she looks up to you.
>"So? What do you have to say for yourself?"
>You avert your eyes, Twilight's speech having a shaming effect on you.
"...I'm sorry, lass."
>She stares at you harshly for a few moments, before all trace of anger disappears from her face.
>"Apology accepted!"

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:20:00 No.25823871 Report

Quoted By: >>25823882

>>25823861
>wat
>Her magical aura fades from around you, and you plop onto the floor.
>She turns around, and starts to trot back to the book she set on the floor.
>You're struck speechless by her actions, staring dumbfoundedly at her.
>You try to attempt speech, but all that comes out is confused gibberish.
>Composing yourself by shaking your head, you finally find your footing again and feel ready to attempt speech.
>"W-what? That's it? Yer not gonna do anythin' to me?"
>She simply replaces the book back into the slot she took it out of, before taking out another and looking in the inside cover.
>"Oh no, there's definitely going to be some repercussions. I hope you don't miss your cider too much."
>Your blood freezes as she makes the offhanded thread.
"Y-ye don't mean..?"
>A very small, sadistic smile appears on her face.
>"Yep. No alcohol for a week because of this little stunt you pulled."
>The room begins to spin, and you fall to your knees.
>There's only one thing you can do.

>Be Spike, Maremancer of the highest order.
>Heh.
>If only.
>You're helping Rarity hunt for gems again, as is usual as the case of Fridays.
>Maybe one of these days you won't have to spend time with her only by helping her with her work, and rather you'll be spending time in the park, lazing away the day with her.
>As you stand up from the pile of gems you found and begin to bring them to the small wagon the two of you brought with you, your frills poke up at the very distant, yet somewhat familiar sound.
>"...Nooooooooooooooo!!!!...."
>Your lady turns her head back to the town, a concerned expression darkening her features as she holds a hoof to her mouth in curiosity.
>"Just what is that dreadful screaming coming from Ponyville?"
>You recognize what made the sound, and mock taking off a hat and holding it to your chest.
"The sound of pure, unfiltered despair of a stallion."
>You wonder just what Twilight has done to Anon as you and Rarity get back to work.
>Eh, he'll be fine.
>Probably.

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:21:01 No.25823882 Report

Quoted By: >>25823893

>>25823871
>Be Anon, very depressed monk of the Stonefist order.
>How could Twilight be that cruel?
>Dwarves exist off of Ale and stone, taking one out of the equation messes with the natural order!
>...okay, not really, but it's still going to be really painful this week.
>At least she's not locking you in a room and letting you go to Sweet Apple Acres.
>After recovering from the second greatest sadness you've ever experienced, you told her that you had to meet Applejack at her farm for work.
>She gladly gave you the directions, and said that she would work out the rent that you would have to pay while you were out.
>So, here you are, on the dirt path on the way to SAA.
>Speaking of, you can see the gate appearing on the horizon.
>Breaking into a half-jog, half-run, you reach the gate in no time, slowing down only slightly to hop over the chest high object.
>As you clear the slight hill, you gaze over the splendor of the orchard, a presence makes itself known to your right.
>Turning, you see an absolutely massive pony, who's height rivals the horses of your world.
>He looks you over with an appraising yet calm stare.
>Eventually, he speaks up in an incredibly deep baritone.
>"You Anon?"
>Nodding calmly, you begin to speak.
"I'm here fer the offer of work extended by Applejack. Would ye know where she is at the moment?"
>He nods, turning away and beginning a slow trot away from you, but in a specific direction.
>There's an unspoken suggestion to follow him, as he will probably lead you to Applejack.
>Shouldn't take that long, right?
>No reason to not talk to the pony next to you to pass the time.
>Though he doesn't appear to speak much, he'll probably respond to you.
>Clearing your throat, you see his ears twitch in your direction.
"So, are ye a farmhand here, too?"
>He slowly shakes his head.
>"Nope. Applejack's mah sister."
>Annnnd he just ends it off on that.
>No continuation of the conversation, just that.
>Welp.

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:22:02 No.25823893 Report

Quoted By: >>25823900

>>25823882
>A minute or so passes before the silence is broken again, this time by him.
>"Ah'd like to thank ya fer savin' both of mah sisters."
>What does he mean by...
>Oh yeah, the Timberwolf.
>That was more of a fight for your life, but you don't mind having some extra credit thrown your way.
>But what does he mean by 'both of his sisters'?
>Wait, wasn't that wee lass related to Applejack?
>...
>Oh, yeah.
>So you did save both of his sisters, you suppose.
"Ah, it was nothin'. Monks are sworn to protect others. That came tae me as naturally as breathing would tae you."
>He takes a moment before he nods.
>"Ah can see why Applejack wanted ya on the farm. It's not too often ya run into someone of such high character like you."
>Adjusting the yoke around his neck, he continues a moment later.
>"That, an' we Apples always help out those who've helped us."
>The conversation fades into silence once more as the two of you walk through the orchard.
>Eventually, a dull thump makes it's audible presence known, growing steadily louder as you walk towards the source.
>The two of you walk out into the next row of trees, and turn to the left slightly as you spot the orange pony...kicking the trees?
>As the kick she delivered impacts the tree she was in front of, you see the apples on the tree neatly fall down into the baskets below.
>Huh.
>Efficient.
>Applejack surveys her work, smiling as she does so, but her gaze eventually reaches you and her brother.
>Her smile only widens, and she trots out from behind the tree to head towards the two of you.
>She extends a hoof to you, which you grasp and shake once.
>"Glad ya could make it out here so fast, 'Non."
"Likewise."
>She turns her gaze to look up to her brother.
>"Ah see ya've met mah brother, Big Macintosh."
>You do a half-nod, before stopping.
"Well...yes, lass. He refrained from mentionin' his name, though."
>Her smile fades, and she points an accusatory glare at 'Big Macintosh'.

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:23:03 No.25823900 Report

Quoted By: >>25823908

>>25823893
>"Consarnit, Big Mac, didn' ah tell ya it was rude ta' not introduce yerself by sayin' yer name?"
>He scuffs a hoof along the ground ashamedly, hanging his head slightly.
>Applejack's ire fades quickly, and she sighs.
>"Look, ah know it's hard for ya to talk ta ponies like the rest of us, but ya gotta try, alright?"
>He nods sadly, and she sighs once again.
>"Alright, now git outta here, Ah gotta speak ta Anon 'bout what he's gotta do on the farm."
>He turns around and walks off in the direction you came from, leaving you alone with the orange earth pony.
>She looks at you, and shifts her stance slightly.
>"What do ya know 'bout apple buckin'?"
>You cough into your hand roughly.
"E-excuse me?"
>"Ya know, apple buckin'. Where ya hit the trees with yer hind legs, knockin' the apples into the baskets?"
>You sigh in relief.
>Thank Kols, you thought she meant...
>Nevermind.
"I dinnae suppose I do, lass. Do ye wanna show me how it works?"
>She nods happily, before leaning her head down to slide a bucket on her back.
>"First, ah'd appreciate you helpin' me get these buckets into the cart over yonder."
>She trots off, careful not to spill any apples as she heads to a nearby cart.
>Huh.
>Strange how you didn't see that before.
>Must have been hidden by a few trees.
>Regardless, you crouch down and grasp the handles of the bucket before standing up, making sure to lift with your knees, not your back.
>Would have been a real shame to come out here only to pull a muscle on a basket of apples.
>Speaking of the basket...
>It's actually pretty heavy, but not anything cripplingly weighty.
>Good.
>A few trips back and forth for the both of you, and the buckets are empty while the cart is half-full.
>It also appears that Applejack had hit up a few trees before, which is why there were already apples in it.
>The cart itself is about 4 ponies long and 3 ponies wide, so it will take about four or so more trees, depending if they all have comparable amounts of apples in them.

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:24:04 No.25823908 Report

Quoted By: >>25823916

>>25823900
>She brings a few of the empty buckets along with her, placing it around a tree full of apples, and also directs you where to place the ones you brought along with you.
>Eventually, they're all in place, and she takes a stance in front of the tree.
>"Now, apple buckin' is a long and valued apple family tradition, ever since our great-great-great-"
>She continues for a while, making you question just how many generations there were in her family.
>"-great-great grandparents first settled in Ponyville. Now, what you do is stand in front of the tree, widen yer stance-"
>She does the two things, and you see her muscles tense in preperation.
>"-spin 'round, and-"
>Whirling on her front hooves, she cocks back her rear legs and launches a kick towards the tree, but stops at the last moment and rests herself on the tree.
>"-Well, it's kinda obvious what happens next."
>The orange Apple spins around once more, and lands to face you once more.
>"So, do ya wanna try it out?"
>You raise a hand to your chin, stroking your beard slightly.
>Doing this for a few moments, you compose your thoughts before you speak.
"Well, as much as I'd like tae...there's a slight problem."
>"What's that?"
"I'm not a pony."
>You approach the tree, and lay a hand on it.
"While I'm certainly strong, I doubt that the same technique that works for you will work for me. I mean, I don't think I can match near the force of that kick."
>Applejack holds a hoof to her muzzle in thought, slowly nodding in agreement.
>"Ah see yer point..."
>She clicks her tongue a few times.
>"Do ya wanna try anwyay? Ya might have some luck with that fancy 'pressure point' thing ya did to me and Rainbow a few days ago."
>After you nod, you shake your head.
"I'll give it a try, but I don't think that the tree has any Ki points. It's not exactly living, after all."
>Closing your eyes, you take a few moments to clear your mind and have a few cleansing breaths.

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:25:05 No.25823916 Report

Quoted By: >>25823927

>>25823908
>Opening your eyes, you draw back for an open palm strike, and slam it into the center of the tree.
>A single apple falls down.
>"*Snrk*"
>Ignoring the snickering of the orange pony behind you, you focus on the image before you.
>Much to your shock, there is -actually- a Ki flow going throughout the tree.
>Is there so much magic in this world that even the -trees- have flow?
>Keeping your palm pressed into the tree, you close your eyes and focus on the small 'pings' of energy in the tree.
>"Anon? Ya alright?"
"Yes. Give me a moment, lass."
>Interestingly enough, the energy pings are not appearing in the same place.
>It seems random at best, and it seems that the marking strike you made just happened to hit one of them, causing an apple to fall.
>However, the first strike appeared to have sort of a connection to the rest of the pings.
>So that means...
>Opening your eyes, you draw your palm off the tree-
>And unleash a Flurry of Blows into the center point.
>The fast strikes you deliver into it make it so that while all of the apples don't fall at once like Applejack's, but they fall down in a very rapid succession.
>Eventually, your strikes cease to bear fruit (heh).
>You stop your striking, drawing back into your stance, letting off a final breath.
>Applejack, who you had forgotten was there in your striking, looks over the buckets of apples and the tree.
>Raising a hoof to her muzzle in thought, she nods.
>"Well, ya did get all th'apples into the buckets, so ah can't complain..."
>Wait for it...
>"...but.."
>She turns to you, looking at your hands.
>"Ah can't help but feel that yer hurtin' yerself by doin' that."
>Lifting up your hand, you inspect it to see that it's only slightly red, with some brownish scuff marks from the bark.
>And your fists feel fine, besides.
"Nay, lass. I could, quite literally, do this all day."
>Her eyebrow attempts to escape her face.
>"Oh, really, now?"
>You sense the doubt in her tone, and you turn to face her.

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:26:06 No.25823927 Report

Quoted By: >>25823934

>>25823916
"Yep. All day. Done it before."
>Her eyebrow is beginning to breach the stratosphere.
>"Ah don't mean nothin' bad, but ah'm not quite convinced that anypony, even you, could do -that- all day."
>A smug smile creeps onto your face.
"Are ya sure, lass? Maybe as much as tae make a little wager?"
>She purses her lips.
>"A bet, huh? Go on, Ah'm listenin'."
>You lean back against the tree, telling her of the wager.
"Well, ye go and find me a nice strong tree, or somethin' like that for me tae hit for quite a while, say..."
>You look up at the sky, marking the position of the sun.
>Just barely headed to the west, which means that you've got quite a bit of time until sundown.
>Maybe...six or seven hours worth.
>Plenty of time.
"...'til sundown. If ye don't want tae waste time, I suppose I could spend the time hittin' the trees for ye...but ye'd have to move pretty fast tae keep up with me."
>She purses her lips, furrowing her brow in thought.
>"An' jus' do ya get from this? What do -Ah- get if you can't hold up yer end of the bargain?"
>Pressing off of the tree, you walk up to her, stopping a foot or so away the earth pony.
"Me? A barrel of cider, that's it. Ye don't tell anyone about it, only me and ye know about it. As fer what ye get, I work half a week, no pay."
>The stakes are pretty damn high for you, but you wouldn't be raising them to that level if you couldn't win.
>Applejack nods, lowering her eyes in thought.
>A few moments pass, whereupon she looks up to meet your gaze.
>"Ya've got yourself a bet, mister Anon."
>She raises a hoof for you to shake on it, and you accept it.
>After releasing it, you ask her what she wants you to do.
>Smiling, she asks you to follow her, which you oblige.
>You feel slightly bad for sneaking a bit of hard cider under Twilight's nose...
>Aw, who are you kiddin'?
>There isn't any way you weren't going to last the week without -some- alcohol.
>Besides, what kind of monster disallows a dwarf to drink?
>Preposterous!

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:27:07 No.25823934 Report

Quoted By: >>25823944

>>25823927
>Applejack eventually leads you to a patch of land where it looks like the trees have begun to decay, mostly because of the removed branches.
>As you walk, she begins to explain what is happening here.
>"As ya can see, the trees here've been clipped of all'a their branches. This field's s'posed ta be cleared for a new type of apple trees comin' in all th'way from Germaneigh from our cousins livin' over there. Ah was gonna get Big Mac to help me clear these here oaks out for the new'uns, but since ya've taken that bet with me, this is a perfect place for ya to prove to me if'n ya can or can't. That way ya still help us out while not havin' to have some help come in t'run the carts back n' forth."
>She waves at the dying trees.
>"These've still got some kick left in 'em, so they're gonna be mighty hard to knock down, though Ah'm sure that a dwarf like yew will have no trouble with them."
>Taking a few steps towards the nearest oak, you look back to her with a small smile on your face.
"Is that a hint of over-confidence I hear in ye voice?"
>"Not over-confidence, jus' doubt."
>She sits down on her haunches a few feet away from you.
>"Well, Ah'll just sit here and watch, make sure you win or lose, fair n' square."
>You turn to face the tree as she says one more thing.
>"Whenever yer ready, just start on that there tree."
>Sliding into your stance, you take a few moments to energize yourself with the ambient energies, before striking the tree in front of you rapidly, slowly feeling it's strength begin to wane under your withering assault.
>Your mind checks out as you begin to lay into the tree, your body taking over the actions.
>Beginning to delve into your thoughts, you don't notice the music slowly filling the enviroment.
>'I wonder how big the size of the cask that Applejack's going to get for me is...'

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:28:08 No.25823944 Report

Quoted By: >>25823956

>>25823934
>Be awesomest pony in Equestria, Rainbow Danger Dash!
>Currently, you're flying over Sweet Apple Acres, thinking of what stunts you should work on today, and if you should change your middle name to 'Daring', when a strange sound from the field filled with trees without branches draws your attention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVBpAikvnHk
>Is that...music?
>As you fly down towards the ground, you notice two ponies there.
>Well, one pony and one dwarf.
>With your awesome eyesight, you saw that the pony was Applejack...and it's kinda obvious who the dwarf was.
>Y'know, the only one in existence.
>Wonder what they're doing out here...
>Only one way to find out!
>Going into a steep dive, you rocket down towards the ground next to AJ, pulling up at the last moment, flaring your wings, causing the dead leaves on the ground to whip up into the air.
>Applejack snorts in surprise and turns to meet you, but Anon doesn't even notice your arrival.
>In fact, he appears to be totally decimating the dying tree in front of him with punch after punch after punch.
>A look of confusion appears on your face, and you turn to look at Applejack.
"Hey, AJ. Why's Anon beating that tree like it stole his Wonderbolts tickets?"
>Your friend turns to look at Anon, a self-assured smile resting on her face.
>"Ah, he's helpin' me clear out these trees, while also tryin' ta prove me wrong?"
"What do ya mean by that?"
>"Ah, the stallion's helpin' me out with the work on the farm, but he convinced me to take a bet up with him."
>You take a few moments to watch as the tree snaps in half, and he kicks the stump out of the ground before moving on to another one.
"What'd ya bet on?"
>She gestures at him with a hoof.
>"Ya see how fast he's goin'? He's s'posed to keep up that pace 'til the sun sets."
>Looking at him with a tone of disbelief, you shake your head.
"There's no way! He's gonna wear himself out at this pace!"
>Your apple-inclined friend smirks confidently.
>"Exactly."

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:29:10 No.25823956 Report

Quoted By: >>25823969

>>25823944
>An hour passes, and he's still going.
>Pretty impressive, but considering how long the other members of the apple family can last, it's nothing too worrying for Applejack.
>Another hour passes, no sign of him stopping.
>Applejack is starting to tap her hooves worriedly, he's starting to exceed earth pony stamina entirely.
>Yet another hour passes, and Applejack has started to panic, swearing under her breath and pacing back and forth.
>Two hours pass, and both you and Applejack are sitting there with your jaws wide open as the dwarf has STILL.
>NOT.
>STOPPED.
>Pinkie Pie has shown up by now, and has not greeted either of you, contenting herself with sitting with the two of you and copying your expressions.
>The final hour dawns upon Applejack, and she has since recovered from her shock, simply settling for being impressed beyond all belief.
>She finally finds her voice, swallowing a lump of air.
>"T-that's enough, sugarcube."
>The dwarf (whom you highly suspect is inequine by now) pauses mid swing, panting heavily as he turns to look at Applejack.
>A tired smile appears on his face.
>"Looks like *huff* I win, lass."
>She smiles, but it twitches as it goes onto her face.
>"That ya have, sugarcube. Fair'n square."
>He continues to pant, seeming to consider something for a moment.
>"Ye know what? I feel a little bad from winnin'. Tell ye *huff* what, lass- I'll take that cask o' cider, but fer two days *huff*, I'll work half pay. That sound good to ye?"
>The farmer blinks in shock, stammering out a reply.
>"N-n-no, it's fine, after all, ya-"
>"I -insist-."
>She looks away, grumbling to herself, before meeting him with a fierce glare.
>"Fine. But yer goin' to have dinner with my family tonight."
>The weary dwarf smiles tiredly, nodding once.
>"Alright, lass. It's a deal."
>Your presence having been forgotten, you decide to make it known again while getting a jab in at your rival.
"Wow, Applejack. When it comes to stallions, you really move fast!"

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww

Thovar !Gr2D8UC9ww Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:30:17 No.25823969 Report

Quoted By: >>25824149 >>25825149

>>25823956
>Her flustered expression and panicked sputtering was well worth whatever she could cook up with later.
>"A-ah do not! Ah'll have you know that Ah'm the perfect picture of-"
"Yeah, yeah. You really need to learn how to take a joke, AJ."
>She huffs and begins to march off towards her house.
>"Ah know somepony that just got themselves un-invited from dinner tonight."
>The slight scent of apples comes in on the wind, promising fritters and more, causing you to shiver in delight.
>You shake yourself out of it as you watch the two of them walk off into the distance.
>Taking off after them, you desperately plead with Applejack.
"Oh, come on, I didn't mean it! Pleasepleasepleaseplease let me come to dinner with you!"

Well, there we go. A nice, long, next installment of Dwarf in Equestria. This makes 10 chapters so far!
This chapter:http://pastebin.com/BRqFRgv9
My pastebin:http://pastebin.com/u/Thovar
The German tank crew story I posted earlier:http://pastebin.com/KPN90hdY
Sorry for the delay, but I like to write in spurts. Comments and criticisms are welcome as always! See you guys next time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 02:44:29 No.25824149 Report

Quoted By:

>>25823969
I've never heard of you but I've obviously been missing out.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 04:12:33 No.25825149 Report

Quoted By: >>25826333

>>25823969
nice

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 06:07:36 No.25826333 Report

Quoted By:

>>25825149
this

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 07:54:44 No.25827072 Report

Quoted By:

>>25823860
Twilight looks as though she regrets that spell now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 08:45:08 No.25827368 Report

Quoted By: >>25827926

>Be Anon in Edgequestria.
>Hanging out with Luna in your living room while Celestia mopes in the spare bedroom.
>Puff puff pass.
>"Are the enchiladas done yet?"
Ten more minutes.
>Puff puff pass.
>You sit there watching One Punch Man for the fourth time. It's okay though, because you forgot what happened.
>You both think this is the best way to deal with all of the other ponies and their edgy bullshit.
Mostly though you just like having loud stoner sex with Luna while her sister listens.
>"Dude, you just said that out loud."
I did?
>"Yeah you did. Just wait until after enchiladas. I'll give you a pony blowjob then."
Sweet.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 10:47:24 No.25827926 Report

Quoted By: >>25828269

>>25827368
>Be Anon's penis.
>That pony put you in her mouth again.
>It's not so bad. Anon has put you in worse places.
>You wish she'd brush her teeth more often though.
>Oops, time to throw up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 12:51:39 No.25828269 Report

Quoted By: >>25828837

>>25827926
>Be Luna's mouth.
>Yup, that's a penis.
>Luna needs to eat more cake.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1396302709909.jpg, 59KiB, 786x600

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 15:10:32 No.25828837 Report

Quoted By:

>>25828269
>Meanwhile in Celestia's mouth.
>Ugh, yet more cake.
>Why can't she ever try anything new.
>Luna seems to enjoy penis, maybe you might too.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1047790__monochrome_clothes_sugg (...).png, 364KiB, 1211x1500

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 16:14:58 No.25829124 Report

Quoted By: >>25829228 >>25829253

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 16:30:36 No.25829228 Report

Quoted By: >>25829250

>>25829124
Fucking unf.
Dies a coloured version exist?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 16:34:59 No.25829250 Report

Quoted By:

>>25829228
Nope.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 16:35:29 No.25829253 Report

Quoted By:

>>25829124
Got a printer?
Got some crayons?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 17:50:12 No.25829672 Report

Quoted By: >>25829695

>>25811321
>>25811323
>>25811330
>>25811332
That's nice of us. Or you. Or them.

Nice.

>>25817086
>If I don't stop by, Merry Christmas, fags!
And Merry Christmas for you, too, ho ho ho!

>>25817466
Hue.

I have a question, fags. How many threads do you lurk, and which ones?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1407939148798.png, 161KiB, 690x430

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 17:53:05 No.25829695 Report

Quoted By: >>25829835

>>25829672
This one really. I used to hang around in /sun/ and satyr but they're shit now.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO sweaty kanan.jpg, 20KiB, 230x300

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 18:13:39 No.25829824 Report

Quoted By: >>25829890 >>25831692

>>25818681
fucking unf
Has anyone here been rimmed? What does it feel like?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 18:15:38 No.25829835 Report

Quoted By: >>25829941 >>25829955

>>25829695
>that feel
When satyr decided it was a great idea to roleplay as the kids on an imageboard in the latest thread, I knew it was time for a break.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 18:23:22 No.25829890 Report

Quoted By:

>>25829824
Not that great actually. It was awkward for me, but she was super into it. She also did ass to mouth. I thought it was gross.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 18:28:37 No.25829941 Report

Quoted By:

>>25829835
>rp
You... serious?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1437776929670.jpg, 465KiB, 1280x794

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 18:29:59 No.25829955 Report

Quoted By: >>25830679

>>25829835
Isn't RP that isn't questing against the rules?

AutoPony

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1439797829020.gif, 210KiB, 640x400

AutoPony Sun 20 Dec 2015 19:06:13 No.25830256 Report

Quoted By: >>25830267 >>25831757

Got another short green. Working on the next chapter of Changing Lanes, hopefully will have that updated within the next week.

>"What are you doing, Anon?"
>Luna walks into the room from the doorway behind you as you toss away another empty box.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
>"Uh.... wasting saran wrap?"
>She kicks at one of the empty cardboard tube lying on the floor.
>Demonstrating for her, you slap a hand on the invisibly blocked doorway, the saran wrap recoiling with a sharp twang.
>"Like I said, what a waste."
>You shake your head at her, as you raise your voice to a volume hopefully loud enough for Celestia to hear.
"Man, look at the size of this red velvet cake that the chefs just pulled out of the oven!"
>"Anon, this is not a good idea."
"Yes it is, you two are always playing pranks on each other. Now, step back from the doorway."
>Reluctantly, she obeys, shuffling off to the side with a decent field of view.
>As the sounds of hurried hoofsteps begin to close in, you take a seat at the empty table.
>A blur of color rounds the corner, Celestia heading full speed towards the doorway.
>Just as she begins to slow her pace, she runs head on into the plastic barrier, the elasticity and sheer amount you used enough to throw her backwards about a foot.
>Falling flat on her ass, you bust out laughing, watching as she raises a hoof up in shock at the opening.
"Holy shit, that worked even better than I expected!"
>You hear Luna off to the side trying to stifle a giggle.
>"Okay, you got me good. But where's the cake?"

>Kicking at a rock, you watch as it lazily drifts off through the air.
>"I told you it was not a good idea, Anonymous."
>Luna sits on her haunches nearby, looking at you unamused as you turn around.
"How the hell was I supposed to know Tia would get that pissed about the prank?!"
>"You never make a joke about cake. Trust me, this isn't the first time I've been banished to the moon."
>You scratch your head, confused.

AutoPony

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1400101466991.png, 366KiB, 3000x2000

AutoPony Sun 20 Dec 2015 19:07:44 No.25830267 Report

Quoted By: >>25830328 >>25831757

>>25830256

"Hold on, you were banished for going nuts, not a prank. Right?"
>She turns her head, gazing at the Earth slowly rising on the horizon of the desolate wasteland.
>"Banished for a thousand years..... and one hour. It just sounds a lot better keeping it simple."
"Fuck."

http://pastebin.com/u/AutoPony

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sun 20 Dec 2015 19:16:10 No.25830328 Report

Quoted By: >>25831329

>>25830267
>Be Princess Celestia the bestia in Equestria
>You hear somepony saying there's snacks
>FUCK YEAH SNACKS!
>Run towards where you heard it from
>You smack into some kind of barrier
>On the floor, not doing the dinosaur
>You get up and there's Luna and her Apelien friend
"Okay, you got me good. But where's the cake?"
>There is no cake
>Sadlestia.jpg
>You send them to the moon and go look for snacks elsewhere
>Maybe the guards have some?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 20:06:25 No.25830679 Report

Quoted By: >>25831353

>>25829955
That ass is glorious.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 21:24:21 No.25831329 Report

Quoted By:

>>25830328
Apelien is the best word ever.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 31895__photo_suggestive_plot_vin (...).jpg, 229KiB, 1000x750

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 21:28:27 No.25831353 Report

Quoted By: >>25831442

>>25830679
I enjoy pony butts.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Stop staring at my butt.jpg, 52KiB, 679x516

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sun 20 Dec 2015 21:37:28 No.25831442 Report

Quoted By: >>25831475 >>25831523 >>25831757 >>25832472

>>25831353

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 21:40:36 No.25831475 Report

Quoted By:

>>25831442
Fuck off BonBon, I don't want to do monkey butt stuff to you.
L&P, more BonBon when? I enjoy Tsunlestia, but we need more anger horse.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 21:44:11 No.25831509 Report

Quoted By:

>>25814799
glorious.
Gonna go play WT now.

Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn

Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn Sun 20 Dec 2015 21:45:29 No.25831523 Report

Quoted By:

>>25831442
Gonna watch.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 21:52:09 No.25831597 Report

Quoted By: >>25840106 >>25852481

After watching the 2002 he-man cartoons, with all the leaping about and tossing mountains, I played with the idea everything in equestria has low density combined with low gravity, which is how something as un-aerodynamic as a horse with wings can fly at mach 1. So in equestria Anon from high gravity earth is essentially He-Man

>The door slams open as Rainbow bursts into the treebrary
>"Twilight! A Hydra is rampaging through ponyville!"
>"Oh no" That's bad
>"That's not all, anon is here"
>"OH CELESTIA NO!" It's worse than you thought. He's as big a troublemaker as Discord, just swap the magical might for physical might.
>Then you hear it
>"BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! I HAVE THE POOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEERRRRR!"
>Racing out into the streets you see exactly what you dreaded
>Ponyville is covered in bits of dismembered hydra and in the middle of it stands Anon with his loincloth and sword
>You don't know how he convinced Rarity to make him that. Clothes of his people your purple fuzzy ass.
>"The best way to work out differences is through talking not fighting. If you're willing to do that almost any problem can be solved."
>"Anon who are you talking to?"
>"Quiet Pinkie. COME BATTLECAT LET US AWAY!"
>And with that Anon leaps on Mr Bear's back and rides off into the distance, or at least back to Fluttershy's cottage.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 22:00:22 No.25831692 Report

Quoted By: >>25831733

>>25829824
I've rimmed a girl before. It's not bad if the person showers a little bit before it happens.

Warning: rimming a girl may lead to hot anal.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 22:05:10 No.25831733 Report

Quoted By:

>>25831692
>Warning: rimming a girl may lead to hot anal.
t-tell us more

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 22:07:39 No.25831757 Report

Quoted By:

>>25830256
>>25830267
This is adorbs and will always read more of it.

>>25831442
Tsun-bon a best.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:17:06 No.25832472 Report

Quoted By:

>>25831442
Wouldstare/10

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:34:37 No.25832662 Report

Quoted By: >>25832673

>>25812593
Newspone a qt

[PiE]

>Be Anonymous, the inner city the ice cream shop clerk
>Ponies love sweets
>This is a fact
>This is a fact that you have been living day in and day out ever since ponies that could talk became a thing
>Also they can move clouds
>There's so much red tape keeping them from doing that, though
>And the ones that are licensed to fly don't want to be hit by a jet trying to prevent this from being an unseasonably warm December
>Seriously, it hasn't snowed an inch and it's less than a week from Christmas holy shit
>That's a holy shit of surprise more than shock
>Warm weather sells ice cream
>Anything above 60 Fahrenheit is ice cream weather, so they can just keep lobbying for plane-free airspaces forever
>The little jingle-bell door chime rings out as the shop's door glows and swings open
>A little pony walks in through the paradoxically un-radioactive glowing door with a glowing horn on her little pony head
>Her green mane wraps around it like doppler radar scanning a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico, complete with little turbulent offshoots
>Her coat is the color of archived paper and her purple eyes remind you of the eyeshadow that the hot news anchor on channel 5 wears
>Wait, why are your thoughts drifting closer and closer to journalism?
>Oh right, her hat
>This is what you miss when you recognize individual ponies by colors and hairstyle
>It's a fedora (WHYYYYYY) with a little "Press" card tucked into the brim
>You actually know who this pony is

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:36:20 No.25832673 Report

Quoted By: >>25832684

>>25832662
>She approaches the counter and does that thing where they prop their front hooves on it to get closer to eye level with you
"Miss Noteworthy, I presume. If you're here to do a review then you're not a very subtle food critic. What can I get you?"
>"I'd like some- Wait, you know me?"
"Yeah. You're the girl that did the column about non-consensual human on pony snuggling. I read it after a customer told me about it."
>She just blinks at you
>"That doesn't go to print until tomorrow. How has anyone read it?"
"It's already on the paper's website."
>She does a little silent "ohhhhh" with her mouth and lifts up her hat with magic
>A pen and notepad float out as the hat plops back into place
>She scribbles out a few lines of shorthand/hoof
>"News travels faster on Earth. Need to get an internet connection. Right! I'm actually not here for a review, but I am looking for some scoops."
"There's not much in here worth writing about. Except ice cream. We have ice cream and sherbet."
>The pony pouts slightly
>"But I was told there would be scoops here."
"We have scoops of ice cream."
>"I know! I'm looking for a very specific scoops, though."
>Either she forgot how to use plurals or she just gave you the hint you needed
"What, like Haagen Dazs? They're in the freezer at the end of the counter."
>There's a brief twinkle in her eye as her smile comes back in full force
>"Yes! Thank you! I should have written that down."
>She rushes off to the sliding-door freezer

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:37:36 No.25832684 Report

Quoted By: >>25832701

>>25832673
>A couple of minutes later, she returns with several tubs of ice cream hovering alongside her
>You start punching the prices into your cash register
"You want a cooler bag for those?"
>"Nah, I read a magazine about some household spells. Watch this."
>She glares at the ice cream
>Her horn shines brighter for a second
>There's a flash
>When the light fades, all of the tubs of ice cream are embedded in a massive snowball
>Her glare has also shifted to include a raised eyebrow
>"Okay... not what I was trying to do, but I guess that will work."
>The befuddled unicorn pokes at her handiwork with her pen and angrily mutters something
>All you catch of it is something about magic distortion and "I didn't do anything wrong"
>She still hasn't actually bought this ice cream, and this is a "you enchant it, you bought it" situation if you've ever seen one
"Can I get anything else for you?"
>This gets her attention again and brings her back to being relatively cheeful
>"Ah, right! I'd also like a small cup of mango sherbet to go, please."
>You pop the lid off of the sherbet container and scoop some into a plastic cup
>The cup flies over to her the second it touches the countertop
"That'll be 25.80. Cash, credit or debit? Local currency only, can't accept Bits as payment, blah blah, you know the drill."
>A plastic card flies out from under her hat and lands on the counter
>"Debit."
>You slide the card through your register's reader and wait for the screen to read "approved"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:40:15 No.25832701 Report

Quoted By: >>25834115 >>25861493

>>25832684
>The register prints out the receipt
>You hand it to her with her card
>Both of the items zip out of your hand and into her hat
"Jeez, how much room is there in that thing? Are you gonna keep the ice cream in there too?"
>She just giggles
>"I wish! 'Container of holding' is for unicorns that actually study magic, not just read about it in magazines."
>This prompts her to look back at her notepad and scribble some more
>"Huh. That could be a good follow-up column. 'Misconceptions of magic.'"
>Speaking of which...
"About that column you wrote. It seems like you really struck a chord with some ponies."
>"They liked it?"
"Hell yeah. There was this blue mare that came in earlier today who wouldn't stop talking about it. Sounded like the girl'd been hugged one too many times without permission."
>Noteworthy smiles at you
>"What can I say? Ponykind didn't choose to be cute. Cute chose to be us."
"Can't argue with that. Have a nice day."
>Your customer starts on her way to the door, flipping through her notepad and scooping sherbet into her mouth as she goes
>She stops as she gets to a page with a checklist
>After checking off a couple of items, she turns back to you
>"Say, I'm stocking up for a self-congratulatory snacking spree. Do you know where I can get some prenkles chips?"
"I think you mean Pringles. Gumanaam's got some at his convenience store. Take a left out of the door and go two blocks. Tell him Anon sent you."
>"I will. Thanks!"
>It was a marvelous day

General Supplies Writefag !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Glimmy.png, 528KiB, 1000x900

General Supplies Writefag !hd8GSW4gNA Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:43:47 No.25832735 Report

Quoted By: >>25832761 >>25832763

>>25810984
What would you guys think if a little happy thread about Starlight Glimmer merged with the big scary whale that is AiE?

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Cheeky equality horse.gif, 669KiB, 610x343

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:46:18 No.25832761 Report

Quoted By: >>25832787

>>25832735
You want to write a story about glimglam and anon here? Go ahead.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:46:37 No.25832763 Report

Quoted By: >>25832787

>>25832735

Does it have anon in equestria? If yes, then sure.

General Supplies Writefag !hd8GSW4gNA

General Supplies Writefag !hd8GSW4gNA Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:48:42 No.25832787 Report

Quoted By:

>>25832761
I want to continue a story about Glimglam and Anon*
We're pretty much dead right now, with a hugeton of green for just one thread though.
>>25832763
Glad to hear.

General Supplies Writefag !hd8GSW4gNA

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General Supplies Writefag !hd8GSW4gNA Sun 20 Dec 2015 23:54:55 No.25832837 Report

Quoted By: >>25833217 >>25834506 >>25836689 >>25838160

>>25810984

Original prompt:
>"Oh what's the matter Anon, are you scared?"
"I just don't think we should be down here all alone in the basement like this-"
>"Oh whats the matter, are you scared? Afraid if we do this we'll see a spooky ghost? Ghosts aren't real Anon! I'm just trying to have some fun ok, it's all just pretend, we won't be in any real danger, now come on."

Pastebin: http://pastebin.com/bqyUGJ2e

NSFW spin-off by Game Sphere Bumpfag http://pastebin.com/GGh4RxwH

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Equal meal.png, 220KiB, 711x1080

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 00:28:53 No.25833217 Report

Quoted By: >>25833230

>>25832837
Thought you were gonna actually post it here.
Would have quickened the thread abit.
Anyway, I will give it a read later. Thanks.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO problemglimmerfags.jpg, 65KiB, 640x640

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 00:30:13 No.25833230 Report

Quoted By: >>25833242

>>25833217

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 00:31:37 No.25833242 Report

Quoted By: >>25833260

>>25833230
>via 9gag.com
>memeful.com
I see what you did there hopefully did there

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 00:33:10 No.25833260 Report

Quoted By:

>>25833242

>9gag a shit

>memeful a shit

>using soly to piss glimmerfags off

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 01:02:02 No.25833550 Report

Quoted By:

>>25817086
honestly asking here
what the fuck is this

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 01:17:36 No.25833709 Report

Quoted By:

Ahh... Fuck.
Had to start over with the next part of my story so no update today.
Maybe I will just switch to larger updates once or twice a week... Seems easier and many other writefags do that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 01:50:02 No.25834068 Report

Quoted By:

Bump

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Mon 21 Dec 2015 01:53:32 No.25834115 Report

Quoted By:

>>25832701
Ponies are for snugglings.
Whether they want them or not.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

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CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:11:09 No.25834285 Report

Quoted By: >>25834301 >>25834340 >>25834363 >>25870630 >>25870752

Any tips on how to overcome a part you are stuck on? or hjave written yourself into a corner?
Would appreciate that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:12:36 No.25834301 Report

Quoted By: >>25834382

>>25834285

Drink heavily. Write drunk, edit sober.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:15:05 No.25834340 Report

Quoted By: >>25834382

>>25834285
suicide is always a option

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:17:05 No.25834363 Report

Quoted By: >>25834381 >>25834382

>>25834285
Write something random on the paper. Literally the first thing that comes to mind. Erase that, and try to write something less shit.
Eventually you'll figure out what works.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:18:48 No.25834381 Report

Quoted By: >>25834401 >>25834758

>>25834363
>Eventually you'll figure out what works.
Or you'll end up having anon fuck a timberwolf to assert dominance.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Very happy Pinkie.gif, 391KiB, 508x498

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:18:53 No.25834382 Report

Quoted By: >>25834390 >>25834410 >>25834449

>>25834301
Im kinda doing that already. Should I drink more?

>>25834340
Nah still have some bills and debts to pay. Can't leave this world like this.

>>25834363
So just fuck around until I find something thats good? I gonna give that one a try, Thanks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:19:28 No.25834390 Report

Quoted By: >>25834449 >>25834488

>>25834382

>Should I drink more?

Yes.

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:20:33 No.25834401 Report

Quoted By: >>25834758

>>25834381
Some things you never live down.
Also, that was before I started using this method.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:20:59 No.25834410 Report

Quoted By: >>25834436

>>25834382
>Can't leave this world like this.
why not?

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Cute scruffy Pinkie.png, 344KiB, 1024x768

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:23:56 No.25834436 Report

Quoted By: >>25834460

>>25834410
Dunno. I hate leaving things unsettled or open.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:25:41 No.25834449 Report

Quoted By: >>25834488

>>25834390
>>25834382
I'll race you!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1436034674556.jpg, 17KiB, 210x341

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:26:38 No.25834460 Report

Quoted By:

>>25834436

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Your face is drunk.png, 671KiB, 1280x1536

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:29:22 No.25834488 Report

Quoted By:

>>25834390
Okay then... Lets see how much I can drink before being unable to work tomorrow.

>>25834449
Gotcha

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:30:40 No.25834506 Report

Quoted By: >>25834520 >>25834741

>>25832837
Pastebin is shit on phones. Post the story in thread.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:31:39 No.25834520 Report

Quoted By: >>25834741

>>25834506
Just download the paste mate. But I agree... He should post the story here.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:51:26 No.25834741 Report

Quoted By:

>>25834506
Use a browser like opera mini that allows text wrapping, or download it like >>25834520 said.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Mon 21 Dec 2015 02:53:13 No.25834758 Report

Quoted By:

>>25834381
>>25834401
>Be Anon, innawoods
>Magic tree wolves are growling at you
>You stand up
>Oh look there's a squished little magic stick wolf where you were sitting
>Anyway, your parents gave you advice for just such an occasion
>"Anon, if you're innawoods and animals are giving you sass, fuck them up"
>You approach the biggest one, because the biggest one is going to be the boss
>After some struggling you manage to stick your dick into it
>The other woodwolves are all watching you
>You cum inside
"Do any of you want to try something? Huh?"
>The other naturebominations back away
"Now YOU, my new fuckbuddy, are going to show me around this place."
>And that's how you showed up on the outskirts of Ponyville riding a cum-dripping Timberwolf.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Mon 21 Dec 2015 03:34:43 No.25835182 Report

Quoted By: >>25836233

crosspostan
>Ya'll are Applejack, Farmer horse pony who makes apples
>It's after dark and almost bedtime
>Applebloom is practicing on her hurdy-gurdy
>You hear somepony knock on the door
>There isn't anypony there, just some boxes
>One of them has a card with words on it, but you can't read so you ignore it
>You take the boxes inside and give them to Big Mac, maybe he'd like them.
>You don't have any time for fragile looking boxes that you couldn't put apples in.
>You go to sleep.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:17:58 No.25836233 Report

Quoted By:

>>25835182
the mystery
the suspense

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:21:36 No.25836285 Report

Quoted By: >>25836301

Update to http://pastebin.com/sLyVaRNh

Continues on line 145.

"Oh Fluttershy? Come out, come out wherever you are."
>The timid pegasus' soft voice rings out from behind her bedroom door.
>"Never. I saw what happened to Twilight, you won't make drink any of that evil soda."
"It's always a little awkward the first time. Remember how Rarity couldn't stop burping?"
>"Which embarrassed her to no end."
"Applejack handled it well."
>"She suplexed a tree when it wouldn't drop any apples."
"Because the Dr. made her handsome and stronk.
>"You didn't forget what happened with Pinkie did you?"
"No one's found the body right? Besides, ever since she can remember Pinkie always wanted to be a gangster. Even if she has the attention span of a goldfish."
>"BODIES. It was bodies Anon."
"And the cragadiles appreciated the generous donation of meat pies."
>The house is quiet while you wait for her response.
"I already know what you're gonna say."
>"But Rainbow-"
"Oh come on, we both know that every other one of Dashie's stories ends with ("...then I came and started farting.") She's gross like that."
>A short giggle escapes from her mouth.
>"Well it was pretty funny that it happened to be the same day the Wonderbolts came to visit Ponyville."
"Right? Look, will you please just give it a chance? I even brought you something different than the standard since I know you're the definition of delicate."

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:22:42 No.25836301 Report

Quoted By: >>25836317

>>25836285
>A short pause to consider your offer before she replies, "Okay."
>You turn the knob and the door slowly opens to reveal a pair of cyan eyes looking up at you.
"I could've done that at any time by the way."
>Walking over towards her bed, you set your cooler on the night stand and take a seat.
>Patting the space next to you, Fluttershy obediently, albeit timidly, plants herself next to you.
>Opening the cooler, you withdraw a single striped can from within and pop the top which only manages to half spook the homeowner.
>You even put a simple bendy straw in the can for her before letting her take hold of it in her hoovsies.
>"Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper? Are you saying I need to lose weight? Oh, it has been getting harder to squeeze into my pajamas recently."
"No, no, no! You're fine the way you are kid."
>Gotta protect that booty for the sake of the world.
>And your fap material.
>"Okay, well here goes nothing."
>She looks at it sideways for a second before bringing the tip of the straw up to her lips and gingerly sucking up her first sip.
>You can see her eyes light up as the first drops hit her tongue before she grips the straw with her teeth and yanks it out only to spit it away so she can properly grip and sip from the can.
>"Oh my goodness! This is sooo tasty."
>She spins the can in her hooves to read the nutrition facts.
>"And no calories? Why isn't every pony drinking this?"
"Sometime's there's just no accounting for taste." You say grabbing the can and taking a swig for yourself before passing it back.
>She smacks her tongue before falling back and kicking her hooves up before resting on her side.
>"And that wonderful after taste of vanilla."
>She returns to her upright position to take another drink and giggles as her cheeks turn red before she continues sipping.

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:24:01 No.25836317 Report

Quoted By: >>25836333

>>25836301
>Oh god she's not-
>"Y'know Anon, I may be too shy for my own good, but I gotta shay. Umm, I forgot what I was gonna shay. *hic*"
>Sweet merciful christ, she is.
"Okay Flutters, just finish your drink and head to bed."
>"As long as I don't gotta shleep, *hic*, alone..." She slurs.
>Fuck's sake.
"Okay, but you're the little spoon got it?"
>"And from what Applejack's told me, yer a BIG spoon. hehe, um. sorry..."
>She digs her way under the covers while you slide right in next to her.
"So shall I read you a bedtime story or will-"
>A quick snore followed by another and you can tell she's down for the count.
"Silly ponies."
>Pulling her fuzzy warmth up close to yourself, you bury your face in her mane while she adjusts her head along your bicep.
>Today was a good day to-
>A sudden crack of thunder and flash of light go off next to the bed as a disheveled Twilight Sparkle stands on the now charred floor of Fluttershy's cottage.

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:25:50 No.25836333 Report

Quoted By: >>25838704 >>25843319 >>25846417

>>25836317
>"Anonymous! I've seen it all! The beginning, the ends and everything in between. We can make this world perfect if we just-"
"I'm gonna go ahead and stop you there Twihard. What you saw was what has been already. We are on an endless cycle of living out our lives and doing things differently with each go, you can't change the future because you seeing the past was all a part of this timeline's plan. Everything you've done and will do is set in stone regardless of whether or not you think you're doing it of your own free will."
>"R-really?"
"Nah, I just like messing with you and even though I say that, I know you're going to spend a lot of time over thinking what I just said until it drives you mad."
>"But I KNOW what I saw and experienced while I was gone."
"Actually after you had that first sip, you ended up transported into Discord's closet where he kept whispering crazy shit in your ear as you slept it off."
>"How could you possibly know that?"
"He invited me to come mess with you too, so I did. Guess he made it so you'd teleport back to town once you woke up.
>The gears in Twilight's head come to a screeching halt as she tries to process everything and fails spectacularly before she passes out from the mental exhaustion.
>Aww yuss.
>Mother.
>Fuckin'.
>Sleepover.
>It's always a good day to mess with Twilight.

Hope you enjoyed, night y'all.

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1396246589857.png, 309KiB, 380x502

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8 Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:41:01 No.25836505 Report

Quoted By: >>25836516 >>25836595

>"So, Dr. Anon. Whata think?"
>You raise the x-ray printout again, just to be certain your eyesight isn't playing tricks on you.
"Pinkie, what did you have to eat today?"
>The mare looks up to the ceiling, contemplating on meals prior.
>"Hmm... Well, I had six pancakes in the morning, then a dozen cupcakes for a snack twenty minutes after. For lunch, I had a red velvet cake that I've been working on for ages! Oh and then for a mid day snack, I had six strawberry tarts!"
>You look over the x-ray once more.
"Anything you might be leaving out?"
>Pinkie looks down to the floor and shuffles her hooves.
>The exam table's paper crumbles along with her leg swings.
>"Well, there were a few other things that I had."
>You take off your glasses and grab your chair.
>An exasperated sigh leaves your lips as you take a seat.
"Pinkie, I'm here to help you. Lying, or keeping things away from me only hurts yourself in the end. I'm not going to get mad at you. I'm only here to help you. But to do so, you have to let me do so."
>"Alright."
>Her perky smile grows into a grim frown as she looks into your eyes.
>"I... I... I ate three ceramic plates, two cardboard boxes, and a whole drawer of wooden spoons."
"Do you eat things like this on a usual basis?"
>"Y-Yes. I don't know why, but some things look sooo yummy and I can't help myself!"
>You nod your head and write down your notes.
"Pinkie, what you have is a disorder known as 'pica'. As you know, it's a disorder in which you'll eat objects that have no nutritional value."
>Standing up, you grab a pamphlet from your drawer and had it to the mare.
"It's common in children, but there are cases in which adults are known to develop it."
>Pinkie skims over the pamphlet, catching glimpses of colorful pictures inside.
>"What do we have to do to fix me, Doc?"
"You're not broken, Pinkie," you chuckle. "Just... misinformed if you will. If you'd like, I do have a treatment I've been wanting to test. Only if you're willing, that is."

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pinkie shocked.gif, 782KiB, 308x308

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8 Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:42:04 No.25836516 Report

Quoted By: >>25836529 >>25836595

>>25836505
>Pinkie, reluctant at first, finally nods her head.
>"Sure. As long as I get better."
"Good. We'll meet back here in my office tomorrow afternoon at two o'clock."
-----------
>Sure enough, as two o'clock rolled around, Pinkie waited by your office door.
"Please, come in," you greet.
>The mare enters the room noticing a small stool, a table, and multiple object littered across said table.
"Take a seat."
>Pinkie plops her hindquarters down on the chair.
"I'll need you wear this as well."
>In your hand lies an electric dog collar.
>"What's this for?"
"It's for your training. It'll help your body realize that eating things that aren't food is bad for it."
>Pinkie shrugs and puts on the collar.
"Very good. Now, you'll notice the objects in front of you, ranging from food to random household objects."
>The pink mare licks her lips in anticipation.
>"Yep!"
"I want you to eat the bread there."
>The mare reaches for a slice of bread, then proceeds to chomp down.
>Before the blink of an eye, she downs the entire loaf.
"Good. Now I want you to eat whatever you'd like next."
>Pinkie looks at the items, hesitant about her choice.
>She turns to you, hoping for an answer.
"Don't mind me. Just imagine I'm not here. Pick whatever you like and eat it."
>Pinkie turns back to the table and scans it once more.
>Her hoof leads towards the pack of light bulbs.
>She's indecisive at first, but after a moment, she grabs a bulb and attempt to put it in her mouth.
>With the simple press of a button, you activate the collar.
>She jumps from the jolt.
>At one point, you're pretty sure you saw the light bulb flash.
>"That hurt! Why would you do this, Dr. Anon?"
>You pat her on the head, a stern look across your face.
"This is the quickest, most efficient way of training. If we continue like this, your body will not eat something it shouldn't because it will fear that it'll be shocked, even if you know you don't have the collar on."

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 156805__safe_pinkie+pie_sweat_to (...).png, 222KiB, 762x626

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8 Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:43:16 No.25836529 Report

Quoted By: >>25836549 >>25836595 >>25837113 >>25837899 >>25839637 >>25843369

>>25836516
>"Wow! That actually makes sense! I think..."
>With a nod, you motion your hand toward the table.
"You may continue."
>Pinkie continue to go through the items, eating a tub of butter, a jar of peanuts, a raw sweet potato, and a bunch of bananas.
>However, she did try to eat a plastic bottle, a couch cushion, a box of pens (twice), and a wooden tire.
>She has now reached the final item: a clock.
>The room begins to stink as the smell of scorched hair fills the air.
>Pinkie looks completely exhausted.
>She's drenched with sweat and she's even smoking at this point.
>There is one thing, though.
>She doesn't reach for the clock.
"You're not going to eat that?"
>The mare shakes her head.
>You walk over and give her a small pat on the back.
"I'm so glad that you won't. Here."
>You place a paper on the table.
>A "diploma" of sorts.
>On it reads, "This diploma belongs to PINKIE PIE for completing her trials of overcoming pica."
"You've earned it. Now you'll be able to liv—"
>You find yourself cutting that sentence short as Pinkie tries to eat the diploma.
"Pinkie! I thought you didn't find inedible objects appealing any more?!"
>Pinkie shakes her head.
>"No, I said I don't want to eat that clock."
>You look at the clock.
>Just seems like a normal clock.
>Nothing weird about it, nothing odd.
"Why not?"
>"I don't like clocks."
>You shake your head, perplexed.
"Why?!"
>"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming!" she says with a cracked up smile.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Angry Papyrus.jpg, 50KiB, 500x500

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:45:19 No.25836549 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836529

>Spoiler

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 05:50:36 No.25836595 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836505
>>25836516
>>25836529
>ponks shyly eating things she knows she shouldn't
holy shit this is cute

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 06:01:26 No.25836689 Report

Quoted By: >>25837020

>>25832837
New green when

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 06:38:45 No.25837020 Report

Quoted By: >>25837064 >>25837684

>>25836689
>Day Penis in Equestria.
>You sell your sperm to Twilight once a week.
>No idea what she does with it, but she pays you enough to live on and she "harvests" it from you herself.
>Never go wrong with a girl who understands the joy that is prostate stimulation.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 06:43:17 No.25837064 Report

Quoted By:

>>25837020
10/10 even i couldn't do better

Flutterpriest !!lXi7iPVG93z

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 138018050.jpg, 13KiB, 316x235

Flutterpriest !!lXi7iPVG93z Mon 21 Dec 2015 06:49:39 No.25837113 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836529
kek

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Mon 21 Dec 2015 08:34:33 No.25837684 Report

Quoted By:

>>25837020
>Saturday in Equestria
>You're in a bunker with the Princesses and some science ponies
>Twilight just caused an apocalypse
>On the upside, you now know what she was using that semen for
>Making horrible man-pony hybrids that somehow spew an unending torrent of flaming shit wherever they go
>You'd be sad that Twilight isn't going to pay you for your semen anymore
>But the other princesses are each paying you just as much to not give her any
>Also you're fucking them because they say that might somehow help fix the apocalypse
>You don't really understand how it's supposed to do that

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 09:20:19 No.25837899 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836529
i said "shut the fuck up" out loud.
nice

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 10:12:38 No.25838160 Report

Quoted By: >>25838171

>>25832837

>"Oh what's the matter Anon, are you scared?"
"I just don't think we should be down here all alone in the basement like this-"
>"Oh what's the matter, are you scared? Afraid if we do this we'll see a spooky ghost? Ghosts aren't real Anon! I'm just trying to have some fun ok, it's all just pretend, we won't be in any real danger, now come on."

"So magic exists in this world alright, but ghosts aren't real? I smell bullshit, Glimglam."
>"Yes Anon, ghosts are just sp00ky tales for little fillies. You're not the little filly, are you?"
"I'm not against being one, really, it's just..."
>Glimmer puts your hand on the planchette
>"Come on Nonnymous, don't be a party pooper."
"Your face is a pooper."
>She didn't reply, and instead put her hoof beside your hand

>You both start moving the planchette around
>"Anon, ask the spirits a question!"
>She says with a slight chuckle
"Urgh."
>You turn your view to the board
"Yo boardy-beardy-board, are the spirits present here?"
>The planchette flied out of your hands, and zipped towards the letters
"What?"
>Glimsglem's face was capable of only a smug grin
>Y
>E
>S
>Y
>O
>U
>S
>H
>I
>T
>H
>E
>A
>D

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 10:14:01 No.25838171 Report

Quoted By: >>25838178

>>25838160

"The fuck?"
>"Looks like the Board doesn't like you, Anon."
>Planchette stops at "YES"
"Fuck off, board."
>"NO"
>"U"
>You look at Starlight
"Are you doing this?"
>"Nope."

>You grip her horn with your hand, stopping the flow of magic
>"A-ah!"
>She shivered, but didn't resist
"Yo Ouija!"
>Planchette points at 7
>Oh, you get it!
"I don't get it."
>Glimmer's smile becomes bigger than your dick
"So it isn't you?"
>"Of course Anon!"
>You scatter the board and leave the basement
"Yeah fuck you guys then."

>As you leave Glim's house you hear clopping of her hooves

>"Oh come on Anon, lets play another game!"
>Hm, maybe she'll get something decent this time?
"Alright, what do you have?"
>"Mouse trap, Dragon Strike, Shark Attack..."
>She stops for a moment to look you in the eyes
>"Dreamphone..."
>Nope, you ain't havin' that shit
"What was the first one?"
>"What, Mouse Trap?"
"Yeah."
>"Sure."

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 10:16:16 No.25838178 Report

Quoted By: >>25838189

>>25838171

>Why the fuck are you playing in her basement again
>Is there really no place for games upstairs?
"Lets set this shit up, shall we?"
>"Hell yeah."
"What did you just say?"
>"Uh... Um... Nothing."
>She stops
"You just said 'hell yeah', did I hear that right?"
>"Um... Yes."
"Awesome."
>You continue setting up the trap
>"W-what?"
"Yeah it's great that you ain't like these village ponies."
>"S-so we can become friends?"
>What?
"Uh... I guess so."
>Her eyes shine
>GlimGlam lets out an adorable squee
>Hnng

>
>
>Even though she's kinda wierd when you two are alone, Starlight is hella fun

>You set up the trap
"Put the mouse in there."
>"Here it comes!"
>A little plastic mouse comes out of the box and levitates under the cage
"Yeah it's gonna be fun."
"Crank it up."
>The lever on the wheel spins, enveloped in purple magic
>There it goes

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 10:18:25 No.25838189 Report

Quoted By: >>25838260

>>25838178

>After 300 more times cranking that shit up
>
>"Are you going to come tomorrow, Nonnymous?"
"Yeah, why not. I've got nothing to do on weekends anyways."
>She hoofbumps in the air
>"Yes!"
>Oh that's fuckin' sweet

>Now you gotta grab something from the market till it's dark, you're fucking starving

End of imaginary part 1

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 10:27:27 No.25838260 Report

Quoted By: >>25838303

>>25838189
>>25838189
>Now you gotta grab something from the market till it's dark, you're fucking starving

>On the next morning, Saturday

"Yo GlimGlam!"
>Knock knock
>The door instantly opens, in front of you is creepily smiling Starlight Glimmer
>"H-hi Anon!"
"What's up?"
>"I've been getting ready! Do I look good?"
"Yeah, great as always. What I meant is, what's up with that smiling?"
>"Isn't this how friends greet each other?"
"Uh, a normal smile is enough."
>She lowers her creepiness level to about 70%
>You're comfortable around her at 25%
"Maybe a little bit less, Starlight."
>She settles on her trademark playful smirk
>Adorableness to 80%
"Alright, lets go inside, huh?"
>"Yeah, Anon."
>She steps to the side
>As you step inside,
>"I have something I think you might like, Nonny."
>...
"Like what?"
>"Does SSBM ring a bell?"

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 10:34:25 No.25838303 Report

Quoted By: >>25838634

>>25838260

>Hell fucking yes
>You won the BO5 going 3-2
"That's what you get for questioning my fingers."
>"How do you have a reaction time this quick?"
"Your magic has a response time 4ms higher than my fingers, giving the competetive edge."

>"That's bullshit."
>She crosses her front legs, sitting on her hinds and turns away from you
>Awww
>You drop the controller and place your hand on her shoulder
"Hey, you can do a lot more things better than me."
>"L-like what?"
>Her voice just cracked
>Aww, Glimmy doesn't like when someone is better at something than her
"Well, you have magic, that's a first."
>Uh...
>What else?
>Fuckshitcuntassbitch
"And uhh... You're cute..."
>"Huh?"
>Her tensed shoulder softens suddenly
>Shit, looks like you have to do it
>Not like you don't like it, but...

>Alright, you're doing it
>You wrap your arms around her from behind on shoulder level
"Come on, Glimglam."

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 11:51:40 No.25838634 Report

Quoted By: >>25838652

>>25838303

>You cannot believe your eyes
>You're hugging a cute pony after playing whole day at her house
>She's warm, soft, Glim's pink fur feels like silk under your fingers
>Starlight leans back at you, resting her head on your chest
>"I'm not pushing it too much, am I?"
>qt
"No you're not, cutie."
>She winks at you
>"Don't trigger me, Nonny."
>Your heart is going to explode by the end of this day

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 84KiB, 573x600

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 11:54:40 No.25838652 Report

Quoted By: >>25838678

>>25838634
"So, what are we going to do now?"
>"I don't know."
>Well, it's not like you have the rest of the day to thin--
>"I just want to be with you like this."
>Starlight tries digging deeper into your shirt
>No progress
"Hm, I wonder..."
>"Mhm?"
"Will you return to your village someday?
>She shivers, before replying
>"I think... No."
>"I hope, at least. Princess Twilight gave me a home, and... A hope?"
"A hope for what?"
>"For a future brighter than a grey village where everyone is the same."
>Starlight tries to laugh it off
>"Celestia, I was so stupid back then."
"Well you're not now, right?
>"Yeah."
>...
>"I wouldn't even dare to think about a scene like this a month ago."
>What scene?
"What scene?"
>"A human, being with me here, in Ponyville."
>You chuckle
>"And you know what? It feels good. You know, being a normal pony."
>She turns herself in your hands to face you
>"And you hugging me like that feels good."
>But you don't know how to feel about this
>You liked her, yeah, but it seems like GlimGlam likes you in a different way

>She pressed her head against your chest more, hugging you back
>Cuddly GlimGlamStarLam
>She was wierd at first, but now, when you know her better, she's the cutest pony you've met
>And considering you spent a lot of time with Fluttershy, that's saying a lot
>Maybe all this commie stuff's been playing on her nerves
>And hiding
>And having no friends for all her life
>Yeah, you shouldn't really think about that right now
>At this moment your priorities must be on the little lost pony who needs hugging therapy
>And you ain't Anon if you're not giving it to her right fuckin' now
"Is this what you wanted, Glimmy?"
>She sighs deeply
>"I never hugged anypony like that... And I know why."
"Huh?"
>"You're the only one who deserves it, Anon."
"To be honest, this is pretty much my first time too."
>Starlight raises her head
>"Really?"
"Yeah."

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 121KiB, 611x800

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 11:58:13 No.25838678 Report

Quoted By: >>25838699 >>25838712

>>25838652
"Yeah."
>"Can you... Tell me about the place where you lived? Before Equestria."
"Not the best memories, I can tell you that."
>"Was it that bad?"
>Was it?
"Nah. Just Equestria is /much/ better."
"It's the only place I can hug a pony as cute as you are."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:01:22 No.25838699 Report

Quoted By:

>>25838678
God damn this pic gets me every time who would though glimmer of all ponies to be so adorable

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO gud.png, 163KiB, 608x640

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:02:01 No.25838704 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836333

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 98KiB, 600x734

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:03:27 No.25838712 Report

Quoted By: >>25838752

>>25838678
I just realised how fuckin' huge this is for two days of writing

>"You're not just saying it, are you?"
"Nope; I mean everything I said just now. You're the cutest pony I've ever met."
>Starlight is now a red-coated pony
>"Ah... Anon."
>You feel her hot breath on your neck
>feelsgood.jpg
"Hm?"
>"I don't feel like anypony would approve of what I want to do right now..."
"What?"

>She quickly leans over to you, pressing her warm lips to yours
>""What the fuck?""
>Shut up, Humanity, it's a revolution
>Heart gotta take over, he hasn't seen any action for a long time
>She stands up on her hind legs to reach to you comfortably
>Makes some room to move closer to her
>You wrap your legs around her
>And feel something on the floor
>It's... What?
>Just like that? You thought you'd need something more than just hugging to get Starlight going
>Well, seems like she /really/ likes you
>And the fact that she never had a special somepony just drives you insane

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 200KiB, 1200x1200

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:12:46 No.25838752 Report

Quoted By: >>25838769 >>25838787 >>25838814

>>25838712
>There you are, in complete silence, kissing a pony
>Starlight Glimmer, for fucks sake
>And you're goddamn loving it

>She breaks the kiss; her eyes filled with lust, cheeks blushing deep red
>She's ready to go
>"A-ahnon... Can we... Um, you know?"
>She becomes even redder
>And readier
>But...

>Do you really want to fuck a horse?
>Hell yeah
>Is this horse that you want to fuck Starlight Glimmer?
>Of-fucking-course
>Then what's the problem?
>"Anon?"
"Uh... um. Can't we just be here together a little longer? I don't like rushing this stuff."
>Fuck
>You do not, I said YOU DO NOT turn down a horny pony
>B-but Dick, she's always horny
>...
>Cause she's a unicorn

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:17:15 No.25838769 Report

Quoted By: >>25838780

>>25838752
>Starlight can't believe what you just said
>Well, she didn't exactly know how these things went, but what she knew is that she wanted it, and wanted it /now/

>You feel guilty now
>You get her looking at you again
"Hey, prettyface, what's up?"
>"I don't know, I just..."
>But she felt fucking awful for pushing you like this; she didn't like commanding anypony
>Tears start forming in Glimm's eyes
>You know what she needs
>A cuddle therapy
>You grab her, hugging this little pony as hard as you can
"Don't you dare crying on my watch, Starlight."
>You felt like shit for making her want to cry, though
>And you felt responsible for her
>You wanted to keep her beside you, never letting go of your pretty little pony
>""Yeah, you're fucking done for, Anon. You went full retard.""
>Shut up Humanity, there is none of you left
>Is it a good thing though?

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:19:45 No.25838780 Report

Quoted By: >>25838839

>>25838769
>Well, ponies liked you because you weren't like them
>So it might be bad
>"Anon?"
>Little teary-eyed pony cathces your attention
"Mhm?"
>"I-I... I wanted to say this for some time, but..."
"Say what, Glimglam?"
>"...Say that I love you when you call me like this."
>"and other times too..."
"What?"
>She scrunches
>"I LOVE YOU, ANON!"
>"*sigh* There, I said it."
>Starlight lies down back on your lap, leaving you alone in confusion
"Uh..."
>WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DO NOW, LOVERBOY
>""You could just say you love her too, you know...""
>Shut up Heart, it's time for Brain to take over

>Brian the Brain takes over
>""Al-fucking-right you green-ass motherfucker, you haven't turned me on for a long fuckin' time""
>I didn't need you
>""I fucking know, right? Anyway, why the fuck are you holding a fucking pony?"
>Shut up, Brian
>""Why is there fucking /that/ on the fucking floor, were you two fucking or something?"'
>Fuck off

>Time for...
>Uh
>Looks like it's either Heart or Dick

>Activate the D

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:21:24 No.25838787 Report

Quoted By: >>25838791 >>25838806 >>25838811

>>25838752
Also, should I post the NSFW part of this? It's in the same pastebin

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:22:02 No.25838791 Report

Quoted By: >>25838814

>>25838787
Don't ask, just post.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:26:09 No.25838806 Report

Quoted By:

>>25838787
Just post it

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:26:25 No.25838811 Report

Quoted By:

>>25838787
Obvs post too some anons in here might wanna read it

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:27:03 No.25838814 Report

Quoted By: >>25838830

>>25838791
K
>>25838752
NSFW

>"A-ahnon... Can we... You know?"
>She becomes even redder
>And readier
>But...

>Do you really want to fuck a horse?
>Hell yeah
>Is this horse that you want to fuck Starlight Glimmer?
>Of-fucking-course

>Then what's the problem?
>There is none
"Yeah."

>You hear a sigh of relief
>"Um... Then... What do we do now?"
"It's your first time, isn't it?"
>Starlight is clearly uncomfortable with this
>"..."
>She's so cute when she doesn't know what to say

"I'm going to take that as a 'yes'."
>"...Yeah."
>She slowly drifts in your lap closer to you, accidentally rubbing herself on your knee
>Glimmer lets out a small moan as she does it
"You look even cuter when you're confused, do you know that?"

>Aww, she took that pretty hard
>"I've never been as confused as I am now, Anon."
>"And I am expecting you to help me here."
>Well, you fell for the sarcastic bait
"You're starting to convince me that you are the best pony known to Equestria, Glimmy."
>"Really?"
"Of course, my little adorable pony."

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:30:17 No.25838830 Report

Quoted By: >>25838845

>>25838814
"Now, let me handle this. You've done your part."
>"What part?"
>She's too cute to fuck
>But you're not Anonymous if you're not gonna try to do so
"Just existing and being so pretty is enough for me."
>Wow, and when you thought she couldn't get any redder
>Just add a little bit of black and wings and she might become a shitty OC

>You curse at yourself for saying 'shitty' about Starlight
>She's the mare that took your heart, of all ponies

>Less talking, more fucking a horse, Anon
>Looks like the D is activated and ready to go
>And you too are ready for the fun stuff

>Unzip that shit
>Oh yeah
>Bring this cutey closer
>Yeah
>Kiss that shit
>Fuck yeah

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:32:36 No.25838839 Report

Quoted By: >>25859899

>>25838780
There's another charatcter I wanted to introduce before posting more smut

>""FUCK THAT SHIT DUDE CAN'T YOU FUCKING SEE SHE'S FUCKING READY FUCKING FUCK MY GOD DUDE CAN'T YOU PULL ME OUT FUCKING ONCE SHE'S GONNA GO ALL CRAZY ON ME DUDE""
>That was a bad idea
>Time for Heart again
>""Now you see?""
>Yeah. What do we do now?
>""Well, first we tell her that you love her, we'll see what happens and go from there.""
>K. I trust you, heart

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:34:22 No.25838845 Report

Quoted By: >>25838861

>>25838830
>As your hand embraces her in a tight hug, other is going down to the parts of a mare you wanted to get to for a long time
>And the Big D was waiting
>His time has finally come

>You're blindly going down her fluffy tummy
>Starlight's breath becomes faster, her movements hastier
>Hand feels something hot ahead
>Proceed?
>Hell fucking yeah

>You break the kiss
>A quick swipe is enough to get her wanting more

>You still can't believe you're doing this
>Welp, had no success with human girls, might as well do it with a horse for your first time

>Glimglam moans briefly, looking you in the eyes
>""HOT FUCKING DAMN DUDE SHE'S SO FUCKING HOT""
>Oh good, D, you're back, I missed you
>""BRO WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCK HER FUCKING SOONER""
>That ain't how it works, dude. Now, patience

>Another quick one
>"Stop teasing me, Anon."
>Your fingers slowly go across her nethers
>Feeling her hot breath on your neck and taking it as a confirmation that you're doing good, you continue rubbing your fingers on Glim's snatch

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:40:15 No.25838861 Report

Quoted By: >>25838869

>>25838845
>Alright, now it's you who can't wait any longer; your dick is basically screaming ""GET IN THERE ALREADY""
>I hear and obey, my Lord

>...
>Come on, she ain't gonna wait all day
"Are you ready, Glimglam?"
>Starlight snaps out of her love trance
>"F-for what?"

"The main course, sweetie."
>You pull out the heavy artillery
>"U-uh..."
>"Oh."
"Starlight?"

>Her mouth agape,
>"Y-yeah. I'm ready."
>Leading the dick with your hand, you bring it closer to the fun parts
>Put it against the lower part
>A quick moan comes out of Glimmer

>This is the moment you've been waiting for pretty much the whole time since you appeared here in Equestria
>One of the thoughts on your first day was "how it would be to fuck these things?"
>Some peeking later, you find out that despite their behinds looking not like you're used to, the actual vajajays are the same as humans'

>Righty, now is the time to give this cutie what she wants
>You press it in
>Hard, but not impossible
>Urgh
>"A-ano-- Aah!~"

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:42:02 No.25838869 Report

Quoted By: >>25838879

>>25838861
>It's in
>And it feels amazing
>Your dick is inside the squishy moist inners of Starlight Glimmer; a thing you didn't know you needed
>The Big D is pleased
>Starlight inhales deeply, her eyes rolled

"You alright?"
>"Y-yes..."
>"Please, Anon, I want more~"
>You push it further
"Looks like somepony likes it?"
>"Yes, Nonny, I know I'm a bad pony... Please, more~"

>How did she convert from a cute innocent pony you played games with into a fucking mare of your dreams?
>Now balls deep in Starlight, you yourself are starting to go mad
>Goddamn she's tight
>Get it out

>Start thrusting, dammit

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:44:56 No.25838879 Report

Quoted By: >>25838894

>>25838869
>Why did you not want this earlier
>Starlight's moans, the feeling of her sweat under your fingers
>All of this drives you, motivates you
>And the nearing sense of the ending makes your head dizzy

>With every Glimmer's exhale of relief her walls squeeze you tighter
>You're close, very close
>It's like a filling bar of pleasure inside of you

>Your thoughts blabber about in your head with every movement

>Starlight loosens her grip on your neck to look you in the eyes
>Her horn is glowing, her face is covered in sweat and tears

>A bit more, just...
>Looks lke she's on her peak too
>You hug her tighter
>Need just something to spill it over...
>But she doesn't
>She goes limp, Glimglam's horn is brighter than ever

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:47:52 No.25838894 Report

Quoted By: >>25838909

>>25838879
>"Mh... A-ah!"
>Her moan drives you past the peak
>You feel it building up in your shaft
>Thrust it in there fully
>It comes out; all your body stiffens, keeping it in there

"Uh..."
>Starlight picks herself up, still impaled on your dick
>"I-I love you, Anon."
"I love you too, Starlight Glimmer."
"My little magical pony."

>Tears of happiness once again form in the corners of her eyes
>"This is the best moment of my life, Anon."
"Mine too."

>The two of you just lie there, embracing eachother like the happiest little creatures that you are.

This is the end of the smut; say 'thank mr Game Sphere Bumpfag' for the faps. I'ma gonna continue dumping the main story later; if you want it now, check the pastebin http://pastebin.com/bqyUGJ2e

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 12:50:39 No.25838909 Report

Quoted By:

>>25838894
Thank Mr GSB

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Mon 21 Dec 2015 14:00:17 No.25839144 Report

Quoted By: >>25839169

crosspostan Anon in unspecified bathouse locale
>>25839037
>Be Anon in the bathhouse
>Just fucked Moony
>You was her blood off your dick in the guys locker room
>Lyra is there too, showering
>Wow that's a big dick right there
>Seriously, it's fucking enourmous
>You can't help but stare in awe
>Lyra catches you staring at "her" dick
>"Hey Anon, like what you see?"
"I want to fuck your pee-hole"
>Lyra looks thoughtful for a moment
>"Sure, I'll give that a shot"
>You both go over to one of the convenient couches that are scattered around the locker rooms
>This is a seriously nice place
>Lyra lies on "her" back, gigantic wang already partially erect, a green hand holding back the foreskin and giving you a good view of Lyra's oversized dick-slit
>You fuck it
>Shortly after you cum deep into Lyra's dick, that dick cums back
>Hard.
>A mixture of both your semen flows both into and past your own member, the pressure rupturing your delicate internal man-pipes
>You feel momentary pleasure followed by excruciating pain
>And then collapse to the floor, screaming
>Lyra stands up off the couch and rushes to aid you, concern evident in those large eyes
>You are rushed to hospital and given emergency surgery
>Lyra is there by your side, and after an hour or so you are both joined by a girl who Lyra introduces to you as Bonbon
>Bonbon wants to watch next time

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 163KiB, 1920x1080

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Mon 21 Dec 2015 14:10:39 No.25839169 Report

Quoted By:

>>25839144
>the pressure rupturing your delicate internal man-pipes
Also nice dubs

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 16:00:57 No.25839637 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836529
heh

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 17:27:31 No.25840106 Report

Quoted By: >>25840180 >>25841242 >>25850743 >>25852481

>>25831597
>"Your schemes are at an end Skeletor!"
>Your purple sphincter tightens up and its not because you and the girls are having a picnic with Discord
>"BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! I HAVE THE POOOOOWWWWWWEEEEEERRRRR!"
>With a swing of his sword Anon slices Discord clean in half
>Fluttershy faints, the rest of you are in shock
>Discord looks happy
>"Oh how delightful, and I thought this picnic was going to be so boring."
>Anon turns away and starts talking
>"Evil Lyn trusted Marzo but he double crossed her. Trust is a two way street. To recieve someone's trust you need to prove you can be trusted."
>"Anon who are you talking to?"
>"Quiet Pinkie, COME BATTLECAT LET US AWAY!"
>"INDEED HE-ANON LET US AWAY"
>"Princess Luna?"
>And with that Anon leaps on Luna's back and they fly away
>"You know Twilight, I think Anon likes me"
>You bury your face in your hooves
>"Shut up Discord, just shut up."

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO un.png, 588KiB, 627x537

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 17:40:52 No.25840180 Report

Quoted By:

>>25840106
>And with that Anon leaps on Luna's back and they fly away
Thanks for the kek, Anon

Game Sphere Bumpfag !93BumpGa4Y

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO SPHERICAL WAOW.png, 332KiB, 486x363

Game Sphere Bumpfag !93BumpGa4Y Mon 21 Dec 2015 19:00:56 No.25840693 Report

Quoted By: >>25840932

Game Sphere bump!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1049784__oc_rarity_questionable_ (...).png, 691KiB, 1600x1200

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 19:34:58 No.25840932 Report

Quoted By: >>25841788 >>25846017

>>25840693
Post pony.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 20:20:57 No.25841242 Report

Quoted By:

>>25840106
Henon is best non.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 21:22:08 No.25841788 Report

Quoted By: >>25841840

>>25840932
Which?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 837225__solo_solo+female_monochr (...).png, 292KiB, 871x1230

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 21:29:02 No.25841840 Report

Quoted By: >>25841870 >>25842865

>>25841788
The ones you like.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 21:31:58 No.25841870 Report

Quoted By: >>25841881

>>25841840
Sun horse is ok too

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1048901__safe_princess+celestia_ (...).png, 1MiB, 1216x1629

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 21:33:18 No.25841881 Report

Quoted By: >>25841910

>>25841870
She's my favorite.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 21:36:41 No.25841910 Report

Quoted By: >>25842096

>>25841881
haha vacuums
scares life out of pones

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO VRRRM!.png, 152KiB, 1965x1317

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Mon 21 Dec 2015 21:55:32 No.25842096 Report

Quoted By: >>25842757

>>25841910
That thread was nice.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 23:13:09 No.25842757 Report

Quoted By:

>>25842096
It seems...unique.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 21 Dec 2015 23:24:13 No.25842865 Report

Quoted By:

>>25841840
All of them?

Love and Powerlifting

Love and Powerlifting Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:07:56 No.25843266 Report

Quoted By: >>25843322 >>25843504

>It was a wonderful day out in Ponyville
>The morning air was crisp as the sun hung high in the sky
>Ponies were out and about, selling their wares, making their way to their jobs and even running around with their friends
>All was well and good and fine
>But amidst this lovely, wonderful day and all of these happy ponies strode a young colt with a purpose
>Button Mash walked through the town with exhaustion clear on his face
>It was clear that something was bothering the ten year old, something that needed to be laid out in the open for someone else to examine so they could fix it
>But therein lies the problem for young Button
>While he had the sense to go out to look for another that could counsel him on his problems his options were limited
>He couldn't go to his friends because eight years olds really weren't known for their wisdom
>His mother would only make the problem worse so he couldn't go to her
>He had already tried to talk to Ms. Cheerilee about it but like most teachers that weren't paid enough she had done jack all
>He didn't know Princess Twilight well enough to ask her for any advice so she was a no go
>Go, with so few options limited to him, Button had decided to go to a third party
>A psychiatrist to be more precise
>While Button, being eight and therefore too young to get a job or sling salt on the streets like a young G, usually wouldn't be able to afford the service of a psychiatrist he was in luck
>A doctor of the mind had just set up shop in the little town, and unlike most of his competitors he worked at a shockingly low price
>In Button's mouth was a small bit bag; the money that his mother gave him to play video games at the local arcade
>Usually he'd be using this money to play Alleyway Tusslers 2 until his eyes were bloodshot and his hooves were cramping but today that money would serve a different purpose
>A purpose that Button honestly wished it didn't need to serve but it had to be done
>He could always get more money next week

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1420565771013.gif, 2MiB, 400x206

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:12:45 No.25843319 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836333

Love and Powerlifting

Love and Powerlifting Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:12:50 No.25843322 Report

Quoted By: >>25843402

>>25843266
>To his surprise and relief the doctor's office appeared over the horizon
>Nestled in between Carrot Top's carrot stand and Bonbon's candy stand was a rickety structure that could have been mistaken for a lemonade stand
>A bad lemonade stand that a child had constructed with glue, bits of wood, and hopes and prayers
>But Button knew to never judge a book by its cover
>Some of the greatest and most life-changing things almost never looked grand or spectacular and Button knew in his heart of hearts at this run down looking stand had... something
>A spark, an aura about it
>The person behind the stand looked about as plain as the stand that he worked
>Wearing a tasteful gray suit with a red tie, Dr. Anonymous, looking lively even at this early hour, was sitting behind his stand with an aura of a man that couldn't give less of a fuck
>His feet were kicked up, he had his nose in the latest issue of Play Mare, and he was pointly ignoring the glares that Bonbon and Carrot Top were throwing his way every few seconds
>This was the man that Button had come all this was to converse
>This hyoo-man, this sage, was going to help him figure out his problem and make his young life all the better
>For one measly payment of five bits
>A certain nervousness overtook Button as he stared at the giant man before him
>A nervousness that one can only experience when facing something new and unknown
>But like a good colt Button swallowed the lump in his throat, climbed onto the stool in front of the stand, and cleared his throat
>"Dr. Anon, I have a--"
>Not looking away from his magazine Anon loudly cleared his throat and tapped the jar sitting on the counter
>Getting the idea, Button fished out five bits and tossed them into the jar
>The second that those five little gold coins hit the glass bottom Anonymous sat properly in his stool, he put his magazine under the counter, and he regarded Button with a smile

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1377785386038.png, 65KiB, 355x328

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:17:14 No.25843369 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836529
Goddamit, you did it again.

Love and Powerlifting

Love and Powerlifting Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:18:35 No.25843379 Report

Quoted By: >>25843429

>"Well, Dr. Anon, I got a problem that I need help solving. A big problem."
"A problem you say?" Anon said, scratching his chin. "Well you've came to the right place."
>Button could feel the human's eyes search his face
>He felt naked under that sharp, piercing gaze
>It felt like the doctor was not only staring at him but his SOUL
"I've been known to give a little bit of wisdom to those who ask for it every now and again. So what can I do for ya little guy?"
>Button found himself looking away from Anon's face, instead keeping his focus on the counter top
>"W-Well there's this colt at school who keeps bullying me," he began. "And I don't know how to get him to leave me alone."
>The doctor hummed
"Aw, you have yourself a tormentor eh? A taker of lunch money and homework?"
>Button nodded, a feeling of frustration and helplessness overcoming him
>"Yeah! I tried to talk to the Ms. Cheerilee about it but she doesn't do anything about it!"
"Have you tried to confront your aggressor like a gentlemen and talk your differences into submission?"
>"I can't do anything without him beating me up! I TRIED to talk to him because that's what mom said to do with bullies but he beat me up. I tried to tell on him but it didn't work and he beat me up, and I tried to stay away from him but he found me and beat me up!"
>Anonymous tapped his fingers against his counter, his brow furrowed
"Have you tried to settle your differences by challenging the antagonists to a battle of brawn?"
>Button finally looked back up at his doctor, confusion etched onto his features
>"You mean fight him? No, I didn't try to fight him," he said with a shake of his head. "Mom said that you shouldn't get into fights with other ponies. And besides, he's a lot bigger than me..."
"Nonsense!" Anon cried, getting out of his stool and standing up to his full height. "Fighting is a gentleman's pastime!"
>Ignoring the looks that Bonbon and Carrot of the Tops were giving his mentor, Button cocked his head to the side

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Dis gunna be good.gif, 537KiB, 500x281

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:19:55 No.25843388 Report

Quoted By:

>L&P is posting.

Love and Powerlifting

Love and Powerlifting Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:21:00 No.25843402 Report

Quoted By: >>25843442

>>25843322
>"...Really?"
"Absolutely," Anon responded with the confidence of an all-knowing sage. "Some of history's smartest, some charismatic fellows were notorious knuckle busters!"
>"But why does everypony say that you shouldn't fight bullies then?" Button innocently asked
>Holding his stomach, Anon threw back his head and let out a belly laugh that echoed through the streets
"It's a simple test, my good colt! An imagined barrier that those who wish to spread fear and lord over others administer so that the common man cannot rise up to match them!"
>Anon spread his arms out way as if to take a hold of the heavens themselves
"They tell you that violence is never the answer, but BLAH I say! The only reason why you or I stand here today because our ancestors fought tooth and nail! Violence is in our blood, violence is in our BONES!"
>Button's nose scrunched up
>"Really?" he said again, sounding far more unsure than he had the first time he uttered the word
>If Anon was disheartened that his teachings were being met with skepticism he didn't show it
>In fact he seemed happy to defend them
"One of the greatest nations on my earth had a saying: Speak softly and carry a stick. That stick wasn't used to talk your grievances out. No, it was used for an entirely different diplomacy altogether."
>Though it sounded like a load of horse apples, Button couldn't help but feel himself becoming more excited
>Like a child that had just learned a new rule
>What if the doctor was saying was right?
>What he could solve his problems with violence?
>It seemed to work awfully well for his bully
>And if a whole nation, a GREAT nation, so endorsed beating other ponies with sticks then who was he to question their wisdom?
>"...But the bully's a lot bigger than me and if I get into a fight my mom will probably yell at me..." Button said, the consequences of this path rearing their ugly heads
>Reaching over the counter Anon patted the young colt on the head

Love and Powerlifting

Love and Powerlifting Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:23:41 No.25843429 Report

Quoted By: >>25844725 >>25845141 >>25845948

>>25843379
"It is always simpler to ask for forgiveness than permission," he said knowingly. "And what is a simple grounding or a talking to if you need some swift and punishing force to stop your bully?"
>Reaching under the counter, the doctor pulled out a tree branch and set it out on the counter
"And as for your bully's size and strength you simply need a weapon to slay the giant."
>Button stared at the club with a frown, scenarios and outcomes forming and playing out in his head
>The sensible part of him said to just go home and tell his mother
>She'd talk to the bully's parents and he'd be left alone
>...
>But what if she couldn't help him?
>Was he destined to forever to beaten up for his milk money and his crayons?
>What if this WAS the only solution to his problems?
>Picking up the stick Button hoisted it up high into the air
>Though not made of metal, it seemed to shoan in the sunlight
>Grasping his weapon in both hooves, Button uttered a sentence that would start him on a new adventure
>"I'm gonna smack him right on the back of the head with this..."
>Anonymous beamed as Button hopped out of the stool with stick in hoof, proud to unleash his newest disciple onto the world
>"Thanks for the help, Dr. Anon!"
"Remember, young stallion, though you always don't get to pick your battles when you do make sure that the guys looking the other way!"
>Bonbon, who looked equal parts annoyed and horrified, stood beside the human as he waved the young colt off
>"...What the buck are you even a doctor of?" she asked
>Anonymous's nose scrunched
"Doctor of fucking your mother that's what I'm a doctor of," he replied with all of the grace of his situation, pulling out his Play Mare and opening it back up. "And let me tell ya the whole fucking your mother market is a boomin'."

Love and Powerlifting

Love and Powerlifting Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:24:51 No.25843442 Report

Quoted By: >>25843630 >>25844379 >>25844699 >>25845998 >>25847050 >>25872222

>>25843402
I failed squatting 315 so I decided to write Anon giving ponies bad advice fo five bits. Hoped you guys liked it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:31:28 No.25843504 Report

Quoted By: >>25843522

>>25843266
>It was clear that something was bothering the ten year old, something that needed to be laid out in the open for someone else to examine so they could fix it
>ten year old

>While Button, being eight and therefore too young to get a job or sling salt on the streets like a young G, usually wouldn't be able to afford the service of a psychiatrist he was in luck
>being eight

Pick an age and stick with it.
love you anyway

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO High capacity assault pone.jpg, 101KiB, 1024x1024

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:33:22 No.25843522 Report

Quoted By:

>>25843504
>not having age genders

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO sensible-chuckle-gif_zps4b0cbb78.gif, 995KiB, 250x250

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 00:46:03 No.25843630 Report

Quoted By:

>>25843442
Fail squats more often

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 02:16:53 No.25844379 Report

Quoted By:

>>25843442
>Not doing 12oz curls

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 02:31:04 No.25844496 Report

Quoted By:

Threadly reminder that AchingScaphoid is dead.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 02:54:36 No.25844699 Report

Quoted By: >>25845111

>>25843442
I don't even know how much I can squat.

I don't even know if I can squat right.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 02:57:02 No.25844725 Report

Quoted By:

>>25843429
This Anon's got the right idea. This fucking Anon right here.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 03:43:35 No.25845111 Report

Quoted By:

>>25844699
Do you have a track suit?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 03:47:09 No.25845141 Report

Quoted By:

>>25843429
>"Doctor of fucking your mother that's what I'm a doctor of," he replied with all of the grace of his situation, pulling out his Play Mare and opening it back up. "And let me tell ya the whole fucking your mother market is a boomin'."
Beautiful.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 05:01:07 No.25845948 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 05:06:59 No.25845998 Report

Quoted By:

>>25843442
I'd love to see what happens next. Or a fast forward in time to some pissed off parents and an Anon who don't give a shit.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Xt645.png, 139KiB, 607x439

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 05:08:29 No.25846017 Report

Quoted By: >>25849843

>>25840932
>hey anon the carousel boutique is two blocks down

i need a pony version of this images

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 05:36:40 No.25846417 Report

Quoted By:

>>25836333
Love you Tex. I hope you have a nice Christmas.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 06:23:04 No.25847050 Report

Quoted By: >>25847503

>>25843442
So you didn't do squat?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:07:15 No.25847503 Report

Quoted By:

>>25847050
CARLOS

Sneaky

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 780844__safe_solo_princess+celes (...).jpg, 242KiB, 1100x576

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:11:38 No.25847547 Report

Quoted By: >>25847640

Hi guys, hope you're all having a good almost-Christmas. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm not dead, I've just been really busy for the past few weeks. I return with green.

Sneaky

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO celly_extravagance.jpg, 414KiB, 1012x1084

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:22:11 No.25847640 Report

Quoted By: >>25847661

>>25847547
Going to be continuing Let's Run Away Together. I'll post what I have and then continue writing for a little while.

http://pastebin.com/cFemKwRW

---

>You’re blind.
>Everything is white. You see nothing but white.
>To add to that, the only sound you hear is the ringing in your ears, rendering you helpless
>You fall on your ass and hit the back of your head on what you think is Celestia’s bedpost.
>Damnit, Celestia.
>You feel something nudge you. A small, soft snout.
>Celestia.
>You feel her warm breath, and can feel the vibrations from her voice on your ear. The ringing in your head, however, overpowers anything she might be saying.
>Your vision is starting to come back. Very faintly, you make out a pair of magenta eyes, and the rough outlines of a face.
>You slowly and carefully make your way back to your feet. Once you’ve gotten to your full height, you feel Celestia softly bite down on your hand and begin tugging.
>Definitely a smaller muzzle.
>It occurs to you that she’s trying to lead you. You obey, carefully following the direction in which she pulls you.
>Your knees hit something soft; the bed, you think. After a brief inspection with your hands you hop on up and sit down.
>You feel another weight on the bed. A small pony climbs into your lap and begins nuzzling you under the chin.
>Instinctively, you place your arms around her. It’s comforting, especially for someone who has little to no hearing or vision.
>You run your hands through a mane. Soft, silky hair, which despite its satiny feel, is different from the almost liquid texture of her ethereal mane.
>Your hands brush up against a pair of wings as you rub her back
>The de-ascension must not have worked completely if she still has her wings…

Sneaky

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:24:37 No.25847661 Report

Quoted By: >>25847683

>>25847640
>At some point, a voice cuts through the ringing in your head.
>It sounds like Celestia’s, except a bit… higher. It has a bit more of an airy tone now, but still retains a somewhat deep octave when she hits the lower notes.
>She’s… singing. She’s singing to you. You don’t understand what she’s saying, likely due to the ever-present ringing in your ears and a newly-introduced dull thudding in your head. Still, the song is nice.
“CELESTIA?”
>It didn’t sound that loud to you, but from the way her voice cut off and how you think she jumped, you must’ve said that a lot louder than you’d thought.
>After a few moments, you feel her body hit the bed. There’s some movement, and then you feel her muzzle near your ear again.
>Her voice barely makes it through. “Can you hear me, Anon?”
>You open your mouth to reply, but immediately feel a hoof shoved into it.
>”Just nod if you hear me.”
>You nod. You feel a hoof press against your chest.
>”Listen to me, Anonymous. I want you to lie down, okay? Just close your eyes, and listen to my voice.”
>Wordlessly, you comply. Once you’re on your back, Celestia hops off of your lap and takes a position beside you.
>Once again, you hear her singing. This time, however, her voice less muddled.
>You can hear her song, but it’s unfamiliar to you. You’re starting to think that this might be because she’s singing in another language.
>A minute passes, and the ringing has subsided substantially. Whatever she’s singing, it’s definitely not anything you can understand.

>”Okay, Anon. Open your eyes now.”
>The ringing is almost unnoticeable now. You do as she says, and find that you can see once again, albeit slightly blurry.
>Your eyes begin the process of adjusting. You look beside you, and begin focusing on the white-furred, pink-maned figure.

Sneaky

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pink-maned celestia.png, 122KiB, 800x552

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:26:41 No.25847683 Report

Quoted By: >>25847768

>>25847661
>A small pegasus mare sits beside you, wearing that comforting, motherly smile. Her wavy but still mane hangs halfway over her sparkling magenta eyes.
>It’s almost surreal. She looks so incredibly different, yet a few of the traits on this mare stand out and make it clear that she is, without a doubt, Celestia.
>”How are you feeling, Anon? Can you hear me well?”
>Her voice has the same tendency as her appearance to be alien yet familiar at the same time.
>You sit up, gazing over her de-ascended form in disbelief. This is the mare you’ve been dating. This is the mare you’re in love with.
>It’s her, no two ways about it.

“I imagined you’d be a unicorn.”
>She chuckles. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, then.”
>She comes close and sticks out her neck for you. You run a hand through her mane, eliciting a hum from her.
“Not disappointed, just… Wow. Can I get a spin? Just to see what you look like.”
>She does as you ask, turning slowly around so that you can take in all the details.
>A first glance makes you realize how stocky she is. It’s almost a polar opposite from her long, slender, and built alicorn form.
>Her body structure begins as one of a pegasus: she has a small, narrow frame, with rather sleek-looking facial features.
>Aside from that, however, she reminds you more of an earth pony. Her hind legs are thick, and from the looks of it, that fast pegasus metabolism didn’t help much with the small mound of belly hanging from her midsection.
>”I might have to start laying off the sweets a bit if this becomes a normal thing,” she jokes, a tinge of pink coming to her cheek.
“N-No worries,” you say, checking out her cutiemark. It throws you off a bit when, instead of the sun you’re used to, in its place is a picture of some music notes surrounded by a golden aura.
>You’re not sure what you were expecting, actually. It’s not like she was born a sun goddess.

Sneaky

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:36:04 No.25847768 Report

Quoted By: >>25847792

>>25847683
>”So, Anon. What do you think?”
>She sits down next to you, the faintest hint of a blush still on her face.
>You look down in thought, twiddling your thumbs.
“Me? I dunno…”
>You sit there for a moment, trying to form the words to express what’s on your mind.
>As of right now, they all fail you.
>You really want to say something, and soon—Celestia’s looking anxious, drawing circles on the blankets with her hoof.
>Oh, come on, brain!
>Think of something!
“To be honest, you’re pretty cute like this.”
>...
>At least it’s something.
>Would be great if you were in the seventh grade.
>At least Cel’s smiling again.
>”Cute? Could you… elaborate?”
>Aw jeez.
“Well, I mean, you’re a lot different than you were as an alicorn… obviously,” you manage to fumble out, hoping to the heavens that this would end here.
>She giggles, hiding her mouth behind a hoof. “Go on.”
>You groan internally.
“I mean, like, you being small is different, but it’s not a bad thing. And your mane, too. Yeah, I think the pink suits you and all, and, uh…”
>A loud snort escapes the mare in front of you.
>You immediately look up, your anger already rising before you see her large, self-incriminating grin.
>You blush furiously, the realization that she’s just been messing with you truly setting in.
>You shake your head and move to leave the bed.
“Alright, I’m done here.”
>Pleads intersperse between giggles as Celestia attempts to prevent you from leaving. “No, no no no no Anon!”
>You feel a small figure dive straight into your back. Two forelegs wrap around your neck and a small, soft body awkwardly clings to you.
>”I’m so sorry!” she says, not sorry at all. The laughter mixed in with her words makes it obvious. “I shouldn’t have laughed at you! You were just so adorable was all!”
>This only serves to make you redder.

Sneaky

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:38:18 No.25847792 Report

Quoted By: >>25847868

>>25847768
>You turn your head to the side, not fully looking at the pegasus attached to your back
“Adorable? Care to elaborate, Celestia?”
>”To see a well-composed, /handsome/ character such as yourself become flustered is a rare sight in itself, Anon.” She nuzzles the back of your neck. “As I said before, quite the /cutest/ thing.”
>You frown as you attempt to peel the mare’s forehooves off from around your neck.
>Despite her size, she has an iron grip.
“Thanks. Now get off of me before I fill that big bath of yours up with water and dunk you in it.”
>”Ohhh, no,” she says, switching positions so that she’s now on your front. “I can’t let go until I know my big human is happy.”
>You stand up with her still attached to your chest, attempting to pull her off one limb at a time.
“I’ll be happy… when… you get… get off!”
>Each time you pull off one leg, another takes its place. Two arms versus four legs and the occasional wing puts you in a losing spot. You finally sigh and opt to just sit back down on the bed.
>Celestia’s eyes, formerly closed due to the concentration she was putting into remaining an extended part of you, suddenly pop open. She sees that you’re sitting down, and begins to relax her grip.
“There.” You stare down at her crossly. “Happy—”
>Using your lap as a launch pad, she rockets up into your face and plants a kiss on your lips.
>The force knocks you flat on your back. Surprise prevents you from reacting as the little white pegasus straddles your chest and proceeds to invade your mouth.
>Your lips separate with a *pop* and a smile from her. She gazes down at you, her mane falling around her shoulders in such a way to make her look irresistibly cute.
>Too cute to stay mad at.

Sneaky

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pink-maned celestia butt.png, 251KiB, 708x600

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 07:46:52 No.25847868 Report

Quoted By: >>25848121

>>25847792
“...Damn it, Celestia.”
>”I’m sorry, Anon,” she coos, stroking your cheek with a forehoof. “Let’s put this all behind us for tonight. You were planning on taking us out to dinner tonight, yes?”
>You hadn’t told her anything of the sort. But she knows.
>...Then again, it should be pretty obvious. Dinner at a nice restaurant is customary for anniversaries, after all.
“Well, yeah. I was.”
>”And is there any reason why you wouldn’t now?”
“Really, Cel? Just show up to a public place with you like… this?”
>Celestia, for some reason, begins inspecting various parts of her body.
>”What? Is something wrong?”
“There will be, when ponies see you’re not an alicorn anymore.”
>”And who says they need to find out?” she chirps, hopping off of you. “It’s not as if anypony will recognize me. There are plenty of pink-maned, white pegasus mares in Equestria, I’m sure.”
>You open your mouth to offer a rebuttal, but the realization of what she just said hits you.
>She’s right. Nopony will recognize her. In fact, the more you think about it, the safer this feels than what the two of you have resorted to every other time you’ve gone out on dates
>putting a bubble up around the two of you and pretending to be talking about politics. All the while, neither of you can so much as wink at one another.
>”Aaaand, as soon as word gets out that Anonymous has been seen not with Celestia but with a young pegasus mare—on what appears to be a date, at that—pressure will be taken off of the two of us, as princess and advisor. Whether or not suspicions still abound, nopony can really attack us based on our alleged relationship. They’ll all have to assume that we really are just close friends.”
>You hate to admit it, damn it, but she’s right.
>This whole thing seems to be covered from every angle

Sneaky

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 08:13:35 No.25848121 Report

Quoted By: >>25848744 >>25855147 >>25869638

>>25847868
>you suppose you couldn’t expect any less from Princess Control Freak herself.
>To be honest senpai, you ain’t even mad
>but you can’t let her know that.

“You planned this, didn’t you?”
>Celestia puts on a look of mock disbelief and points to herself.
>”Me? Why, do you think I’m capable of such a thing?”
>You give her a flat stare. She manages to hold herself together for a few more seconds before breaking out into giggles.
>You roll your eyes
“Come on, Cel. If you’re going to lie, at least try to be convincing.”
>”I’m sorry. You know I’m not very good at acting.” She winks.
“Uh huh…”

>”So, where are we going out to tonight? I need to know how fancy I should dress.”
>You raise an eyebrow. “Dresses? You have dresses that fit?”
>”Of course. I’m not /that/ much of a glutton.”
>She has that smirk again. She thinks she’s so clever.
>You just roll your eyes.
“On the contrary, I thought you might be a few thousand sizes too small for any of the dresses you have.”
>”And you would be right, except for the fact that I had a few days to prepare.” Her impish grin transitions to more of a sultry gaze. “I think you’re going to like this, Anon.”

Change of plans, looks like I'm probably drinking tonight. May or may not be back in a few hours

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Tue 22 Dec 2015 09:28:08 No.25848598 Report

Quoted By:

crosspostan
>>25848503
>Be Anon
>Rararararara fucked up a spell and teleported you across town into her shop, where you fell into a vat of magically active fabric
>After you calmed her down, you discovered you have gained a new sense
>A new textile sense!
>You can feel all the fabric around you, sort of like if the fabric was your skin
>Fuck this is weird
"Rararara, I can feel through your fabrics now."
>"What do you mean Anon?"
"It's like all the fabric in your little horse shop is my skin. It's pretty strange."
>[AROUSED HORSE NOISES]
>Rarity has stopped responding.
>You decide not to wait for her, and just pick her up and carry her over one of your shoulders like a box or sack.
>And walk to book horse's cute little horse library to have her check if you have horse cancer or something.
>You're not an expert in magic, but you do know falling into vats and getting superpowers gave your grandfather laser-cancer.
>When you arrive at Sparkle Castle you put down your pet dresshorse, wave hello to your pet dragon, and shout for your pet Book horse
"Hey Twilight! Rarity tried to magic again and I need you to check me for cancer!"
>Twilight comes over and sprays her magic at you
>"There's a few tumors, hold still and I'll scoop them out"
>Easy come, easy go

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1450713800557.png, 256KiB, 300x300

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 10:00:49 No.25848744 Report

Quoted By: >>25848915

>>25848121
I don't know why but I think i've seen this story before? Is this a repost or something? We're supposed to find out that Luna isn't really her sister but over the centuries had essentially become one, right? She's mad that she's apparently abandoned being an alicorn even for one night?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 10:14:06 No.25848793 Report

Quoted By:

>"Are you sure you are up to this Anon?"
>You frown at her
"Like I could stand by and do nothing while those ponies are consumed by magical fire. I'm goin in Twi."
>She nods at you and passes you a couple of light blue blankets that seem to glow
>"Right. Well these blankets are spelled to ward off the fire but with how intense those flames are the spells wont last long. Also your respirator will only last about five minutes before the protections on it fail. Without it you will suffocate. That fire may not hurt you but that smoke will."
>you nod and bring your mask down over you face
"Got it Twi. Have the crew out here ready to grab the ponies as I send them out"
>"Don't you die in there you big dumb human."
>You smile before turning to sprint into the building

I love the idea of there being "magical catastrophes" that occur from spells going wrong. Sometimes these are shut down pretty easily but others not. Anon is the trump card when it comes to rescuing ponies from these. His natural magic immunity combined with his size and strength make him well suited for saving ponies from these terrible fates.

Sneaky

Sneaky Tue 22 Dec 2015 10:40:35 No.25848915 Report

Quoted By:

>>25848744
I'm too faded to tell if you're being sarcastic or not, but nope

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 11:40:17 No.25849178 Report

Quoted By: >>25849182

Crossposting from slave pony thread.

>These crates always smell bad. No amount of cleaning can get the stink of fear and excrement out of them. You're fairly certain the humans don't try very hard.
>You're being delivered to your new "home." The last place you were in was a nice place. You were a toy for a little girl. That wasn't so bad. The fact that their teenage son decided to rape you whenever he got the chance was. They of course blamed you.
>But that doesn't matter now. You were shipped from the shelter to this new place. You can already smell something odd in the air. It's pretty gross.
>The delivery guy notices it too. Must be pretty bad if a human nose can pick it up.
>There are lots of humans in the house. One of them signed for you and moved the crate into the corner of the living room. They leave you there. You have water in the crate, but no food. You don't speak up about it. You already hate this place.
>At some point you must have fallen asleep. You are awakened by the sound of someone opening your crate.
>"Holy shit! I got a pony!"
>A human with scruffy facial hair and a permanent confused expression sticks his head inside the crate.
>"Neigh neigh motherfucker!"
>He then laughs and curls up in front of the crate. He giggles himself to sleep after ten minutes.
What just happened?
>You gently step over him and take stock of your surroundings.
>Dirty house.
>Funny smell.
>Kitchen to the left.
>Your stomach growls and you quietly trot over to the fridge. Your new owner keeps it fairly well stocked and you make yourself a sandwich.
>You get halfway done eating when you feel yourself being watched.
>The human was standing in the entrance to the kitchen.
>"Dude, there's a pony eating a sandwich."
>You look around for whomever he is talking about.
You mean me?
>"What?"
What?
>"Can I have a sandwich too?"
...yes?
>"Sweet!"
>He rummages in the fridge and grabs a bunch of stuff. Then he turns around and freezes when he sees you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 11:41:18 No.25849182 Report

Quoted By: >>25849190

>>25849178
>"Dude, there's a pony in the kitchen."
>Great, a human with head trauma.
No, same pony as last time.
>"Oh right."
>He makes himself a sandwich that had more meat on it than you were comfortable with.
>"So, my names Anonymous, what's yours?"
Bon Bon.
>"Sweet. So, did I like, buy you or something?"
I think I was delivered yesterday. There were more humans here when I was delivered.
>"Oh yeah, I was having people over to smoke with."
Smoke?
>"Ganja, weed, reefer, mary jane, marijuana baby."
Is that what that smell is?
>"It is pretty dank in here isn't it."
Can I open a couple of windows Anonymous?
>"You can try."
>You go into the living room and attempt to open the windows. They are sealed shut with some kind of grimy residue mixed with mildew. And you just touched it. Gross.
>You try several more windows before giving up on them. Luckily the backdoor still works. The yard is a mess though. Gardening is only a myth and legend on this piece of property.
>You turn around and get a facefull of monkey penis.
>You carefully backup.
Anonymous, why are you naked?
>He looks down and us surprised by the lack of clothes.
>"Wow, I am naked. I can't remember if I was going to take a shower or if I just finished."
Trust me, you were going to shower. Now go do that or put pants back on.
>"Okay, sorry about that. I forgot that you're eyes are sitting at prime dickvision territory."
JUST GO!
>He giggles and wanders to the back of the house where you assume the bathroom is.
>You assume you are being punished somehow. For whatever it was you did. You are very sorry.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 11:42:19 No.25849190 Report

Quoted By: >>25849202

>>25849182
>Having nothing better to do you begin to tidy up the house. It is a standard three bedroom two bath house with a basement. Anonymous is the owner of many useless things. There is also an extensive movie collection and several game consoles. There is a computer in the back bedroom, but you didn't dare enter due to the graveyard of used tissues and the general smell of musk. Gross.
>In what you assume is Anonymous' room is an unmade bed and a few dirty glass objects that you have never seen before. There are also two large piles of clothes on the floor. Dirty and less dirty you would assume.
>The third room is filled with Star Wars toys and legos built into penis shapes.
>You can't find any cleaning supplies, but it does look as though the floor has seen a vacuum at some point.
>You're going to have to convince your human to go shopping.
>"Bon Bon."
What?
>"There's a pony.."
If you tell me there is a pony in the house one more time I'm going to bite you.
>"Awww..."
We need to go shopping.
>"Why?"
I need to clean this place if I'm going to live here.
>"You live here?"
Yes, you bought me, remember?
>"Oh yeah, I was watching Lone Ranger and I thought it would be cool to own a horse so I looked for one on the internet. I couldn't find a normal one small enough so I got you."
You bought a slave because you saw a horse in a movie?
>"Well yeah."
That's stupid.
>"You're a stupid."
>You glare at him with all of the hate you can muster. It lasts until he rips a fart so bad you ran out into the yard gagging.
>"Down Vesuvius. I'll sacrifice some Taco Bell to you later."
>You need to convince him to return you. You can't live like this.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 11:44:08 No.25849202 Report

Quoted By: >>25849207

>>25849190
>The basement of this place is nice compared to the rest of the house. The washing machine and general cleaning supplies are stored down here. You've also made it into your room due to the lack of "dankness."
>You've been making inroads into cleaning the place upstairs while Anonymous sits around getting high all day. You have no idea how he affords all of this.
>It's been two weeks since he bought you and all you've seen him do is smoke, eat, and in one unfortunate incident masturbate on the living room couch while watching disturbing cartoons.
>Tentacles are not your fetish.
>He apologized by buying you a bed. It's the most comfortable thing you've slept on since you came to earth. So you didn't stay too mad at him. He seems to not be able to help himself.
>It's like living with a large stupid child. A large stupid child you were sitting on the couch with while watching a movie.
>"Hey Bob Bon?"
What Anonymous.
>"What does that picture on your butt mean?"
I'm a candy maker.
>He sits and stares at you for a minute before striking out with both hands and grabbing each side of your head. He gets nose to nose with you.
>"DO YOU MAKE FUDGE?"
...yes
>"CAN YOU MAKE SOME NOW?"
...no
>"WHY NOT!"
Because you're holding my face like a crazy person.
>He comes to his senses and lets you go.
>"Sorry, I'm a total slut for fudge man."
>You glare at him as you rub the sides of your face. You can never get over how stupid strong these humans are.
I'll make you some, but don't grab me like that again.
>"Okay."
>He almost seems ashamed of himself, but you know better. Plus he's likely to forget in ten minutes anyway.
>You're about to go into the kitchen when he turns to you.
>"Hey Bon Bon."
What?
>He reaches out and gently touches your nose.
>"I just booped your snooter."
>You scrunch at him as hard as you can as he cackles like a crazy person.
>You are totally going to spit in the fudge as you make it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 11:45:10 No.25849207 Report

Quoted By: >>25849274

>>25849202
>You're not sure if living here counts as abuse, but it is unpleasant. Between getting your "snooter" booped, requests for fudge, attempts to ride you into the sunset, staring at your hooves, and the fart game you have had your fill.
>You're pretty sure he just thinks he is being playful. After all, you've seen him act the same way around other humans when they come to visit.
>They all like your fudge and other candies. So you spend a lot of time making them. It's nice to get back into that. Even if it all goes to feeding a bunch of degenerate humans.
>Anonymous cleaned up the computer room at your request. You were not going to clean up all those used tissues. You've made it very clear that he is not to use that room for "happy time" anymore. You sealed that deal with a chocolate cake.
>You needed access to the computer to take over buying groceries. The house does not need a pallet of oreo cookies delivered. Nor does it need a freezer full of Hungry Jack meals. Anonymous has been eating better since he bought you. Even if he does complain about the lack of processed food.
>You browse the pony sale site on occasion to see if you recognize any familiar faces. No luck there.
>"Bon Bon, can you make me some tendies?"
I read that story Anonymous. It wasn't funny the first time.
>"Oh, right. Anyway, I'm going to Taco Bell. Do you want anything?"
No, and I'm not making dinner for you if you eat out.
>"I'll eat you out."
Not in this lifetime monkey.
>"Ha, smell you later Bonnie"
>You dislike his nickname for you. You really dislike his innuendo. and you really dislike the fact that he farted in the doorway trapping you inside the room.
Bucking humans.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO confus.jpg, 33KiB, 565x640

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 12:03:48 No.25849274 Report

Quoted By:

>>25849207

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1414349614637.png, 1MiB, 848x1244

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 12:48:36 No.25849463 Report

Quoted By: >>25849861

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 100000hrs.png, 279KiB, 607x439

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 14:22:08 No.25849843 Report

Quoted By:

>>25846017

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 14:24:35 No.25849861 Report

Quoted By: >>25850126

>>25849463
Who's that green alien in the picture?

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK Tue 22 Dec 2015 15:34:32 No.25850126 Report

Quoted By:

>>25849861
He never said. I think he prefers to remain Anonymous.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO hemanbattlecat.png, 517KiB, 1000x447

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 17:21:16 No.25850743 Report

Quoted By: >>25852167 >>25852481

>>25840106
The Adventurers of He-Anon and the Masters of the Equestria continue...

>The grand galloping gala. Hopefully nothing will ruin it this time
>You even took precautions and bribed Celestia into not sending Anon a ticket
>You calculated that he's the most likely to be the troublemaker this year
>Normally a student bribing a teacher would be a huge no-no but sacrifices have to be made sometimes
>Though you still don't know what Celestia would want with 2 gallons of frosting and afternoon tea with Rarity
>"BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!"
>Oh no, not again
>"I HAVE THE POOOOOWWWWWEEEEERRRRR!"
>Part of the wall explodes inwards and there stands Anon, loincloth clad with sword in hand
>And Discord is with him
>Could this get any worse
>"COME ORKO! SKELETOR AND HIS NEFARIOUS ALLIES WON'T DEFEAT THEMSELVES"
>Discord is cackling with glee. He's going to find your purple hoof kicking his poop chute if he keeps encouraging Anon like this
>With a swing of his sword Anon smashes the buffet table in half, then his eyes meet the ice statue centerpiece
>"YOU'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN INSIDIOUS ICE GOLEMS SKELETOR"
>Anon shatters it into a billion pieces with a single punch, ice shards raining down on everypony
>"Always remember learning and knowledge are important. Because knowing is half the battle."
>"That's the wrong cartoon Anon."
>"Quiet Pinkie. COME TEELA, ORKO AND BATTLECAT! WE MUST AWAY!"
>Grabbing Celestia and Luna, slinging one on each shoulder, Anon leaps through the nearest window disappearing into the night
>A guffawing Discord floats after him
>"Anon is such a butterbrain"
>You don't like swearing but Anon makes you so mad
>"Aw don't be angry Sugarcube, he only gets like that once a month. Though I wouldn't mind if he wore that there loincloth more often"
>As Applejack rambles on about Anons toned butt and rippling muscles all you can think about is breaking into his house and burning his supply of loincloths

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 18:15:38 No.25851134 Report

Quoted By: >>25851258

>As Applejack rambles on about Anons toned butt and rippling muscles all you can think about is breaking into his house and burning his supply of loincloths

You know he'll just show up naked, right?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1391166826444.jpg, 64KiB, 500x500

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 18:28:28 No.25851258 Report

Quoted By: >>25852109

>>25851134
Even better.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 19:56:09 No.25851956 Report

Quoted By:

>>25810984

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 20:11:16 No.25852109 Report

Quoted By:

>>25851258
Surprised she hasn't done it herself then.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 20:19:05 No.25852167 Report

Quoted By: >>25852481 >>25860512

>>25850743
>You've been following Anon all month, by watching his movements you can find out where he hides his sword and loincloth
>Without them he can't go all crazy and wreck things
>You're such a smart pony
>It's the last day of the month, you know he'll do it today
>Right now you're trailing Anon and Pinkie as they walk back to his place
>He's probably chosen Pinkie to be his sidekick this month
>"BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!"
>Oh haycakes you're too late, at least you know he keeps them in his house, that narrows it down
>"I HAVE THE POOOOOWWWWWEEEEERRRRR!"
>The front door of Anon's house explodes outward in a hail of splinters
>Out leaps a gigantic armored pink lion with Anon sitting on its back
>"ONWARD BATTLECAT! TO SNAKE MOUNTAIN!"
>"You mean Canterlot right?"
>"Yes."
>"Pinkie?"
>"Hey Twilight, I'm a battle cat! Rawr!"
>"Enough talk. TO SNAKE MOUNTAIN!"
>"To Snake Mountain! Wheeeeeee!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 20:57:35 No.25852481 Report

Quoted By: >>25853258 >>25853467 >>25859206

>>25852167
>>25850743
>>25840106
>>25831597
He-Anon is the best thing I've read in a while.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 22:37:45 No.25853258 Report

Quoted By:

>>25852481
Agreed.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 22 Dec 2015 23:02:29 No.25853467 Report

Quoted By: >>25854302

>>25852481
>mfw every post

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 00:31:36 No.25854302 Report

Quoted By:

>>25853467
More Skeletor pls.

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1037.png, 190KiB, 711x400

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Wed 23 Dec 2015 00:59:46 No.25854587 Report

Quoted By: >>25854648 >>25854731 >>25857303

Been drinking and cooking for the last couple/few hours, currently listening to the great gig in the sky so how about a oneshit request?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 01:03:49 No.25854648 Report

Quoted By: >>25854723 >>25854731

>>25854587
Anon nostrilfucks a princess

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

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TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Wed 23 Dec 2015 01:11:06 No.25854723 Report

Quoted By:

>>25854648
First Pinkie now this. Alright, clop will take me another shot and a little more time so bear with me.

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK

Shukaku20 !!qWXggeqgNSK Wed 23 Dec 2015 01:11:56 No.25854731 Report

Quoted By: >>25855086 >>25855807

>>25854648
Dear god, I caused Tex to invent a new fetish...
>>25854587
Something about mistletoe and the human tradition of kissing things below it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 01:50:14 No.25855086 Report

Quoted By:

>>25854731
>fetish
Fad*

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 01:56:58 No.25855147 Report

Quoted By:

>>25848121
Oh, you're still alive. Very good.

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1583.png, 546KiB, 653x840

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Wed 23 Dec 2015 02:56:48 No.25855807 Report

Quoted By: >>25856039

Fuck, I amfar too gone to continue writing but this clop will be done. Have a teaser;

>"What we are trying to say is that, while we are experienced on the matter of intercourse, it's been a rather LONG time since we last partook. And seeing the way you handled all those females, it makes us wonder if you'd be willing to help us brush up on current trends."
>Implying I wasn't gonna write about Anon fucking Princess Luna. Although Cadence was my back up plan if I ddin't like how the Luna one was progressing.

>>25854731
Anon get's a tattoo of mistletoe on his belly, got it, and will hopefully have it out before/on Christmas.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 03:18:08 No.25856039 Report

Quoted By: >>25856237

>>25855807
>I amfar too gone
It's a fucking Tuesday, yo.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 03:38:50 No.25856237 Report

Quoted By: >>25856448

>>25856039
So?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 03:58:40 No.25856448 Report

Quoted By: >>25856969

>>25856237
Get a job, loser.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 04:42:25 No.25856969 Report

Quoted By: >>25857029

>>25856448
I did.
It came with four weeks vacation a year too. This is one of them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 04:47:15 No.25857029 Report

Quoted By:

>>25856969
Tits. Party it up, bro.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 05:10:24 No.25857303 Report

Quoted By: >>25858147

>>25854587
Whast cookin bru

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 06:39:56 No.25858147 Report

Quoted By: >>25858318

>>25857303
Marecum and shame.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 07:02:32 No.25858318 Report

Quoted By: >>25858346

>>25858147
>being ashamed

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 07:06:52 No.25858346 Report

Quoted By:

>>25858318
Oh the shame isn't ours. The shame belongs to the pony that reduced itself to sexing up humans. No mare worth a damn sleeps with a human.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 07:59:36 No.25858748 Report

Quoted By:

Those snooters aren't going to boop themselves Anon.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 09:17:26 No.25859206 Report

Quoted By: >>25859844

>>25852481
YOU ARE NOW READING THIS AS MY VOICE

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 10:46:18 No.25859653 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 11:36:59 No.25859844 Report

Quoted By:

>>25859206
Great, now my mind's voice is switching between the Tiger and Terry Crews.
OH NOOOOOOOOOOO*head explodes*

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 11:50:59 No.25859899 Report

Quoted By: >>25859904

>>25838839
Dumpin' green

>You tab out of your little control room
>There's still a pony curled up in your lap
"Hey, Glimmy."
>She lets out an absolutely adorable "Hm?"
>Starlight uncurls herself and sits in front of you
"I... I just had to think about all this for a moment, and..."
>This is harder than you expected
>GlimGlam gets herself ready for anything you say to her
"I love you, Starlight. I can't deny it as much as I tried."
>Oh God, tears again
>Shitfuck
>What do you do
>She grabs onto your neck and tackles you
>Ow
>A-alright, right now it's /you/ who needs some cuddle therapy
>And you're not really resisting

>"Anon?"
"Huh?"
>"Why would you want to deny it, though?"
"Because all I want to do with this little pony is hug her as hard as I can and never let go."
>You chuckle
>And she starts laughing hysterically
"Hey, what's so funny?"
>"Nothing, Anon!"
>She replies, still giggling
>"It's just... I've never been so happy in my life, Anon."
"Me too, Starlight."

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 11:52:00 No.25859904 Report

Quoted By: >>25859917

>>25859899
>...
"So, what are we gonna do?"
>"I don't know."
"Well, we can't just lie like this on the floor for the rest of eternity."
>"Why not?"
>You chuckle

"I know you want to, but my legs hurt already from sitting here for two hours, Glimmy."
>"Aww. Alright, Anonymous, my favorite human."
>You stand up
"Hmph."
"I'm the only human you know, Starlight."
>"OK, I'll say 'my favorite anypony' then."
"That's better,.."
>Put on a smug grin, you're not capable of any, but do it anyway
"Best pony."
>"I cannot imgine how I lived without you before, Anon."
>Picking her up, you reply
"Well you won't live without me, starting now."

>"You know I can walk, right? Put me down!"
"Nu-uh, my Princess."
>Starlight should teach you her smug smile™ sometime
>"Hm, I'm starting to like this 'realtionship' thing everypony's talking about."
"Hungry?"
>"Could use a snack."
>Yeah, you're gonna make a Queen-sized meal for two, then
"Good, because I'm starving."
>To the kitchen!
>"You humans get exhausted pretty fast, huh?"
"Hey, that's racist."
>"Everypony is equal for me, Nonny."
>She boops you with her hoof
>Aww

>"I see you like all this 'cutie' stuff?"
"The only cute thing I like is you, Glimglam."
>Gotta please your Princess, y'know

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 11:53:31 No.25859917 Report

Quoted By: >>25859921

>>25859904
>You put Glimmer down in front of the table
"What do you want, my Queen?"
>"Wow, that was a fast promotion, Anon."
"Because that makes me the king."
>Hearing her giggle is the best thing in the world
>You wouldn't even have a thought that you'd be so glad to make Starlight happy
>It's like your heart wanted to flutter

>But your stomach is feeling like shit
>You gotta eat, ASAP
>What to make, what to do...
>Something worthy of your Queen
>Hm
>You look through the drawers
>Some eggs, milk, oats...
>Ooh, cheese
>Sour cream, bacon, cabbage, carrots...
>Wait, what?
>Bacon?
>You take the package out, it's filled with stuff similar to Sunset Shimmer's hair
>Sniff that shit
>Yeah, it's totally bacon

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 11:57:09 No.25859921 Report

Quoted By: >>25859935

>>25859917
Also pastebin
http://pastebin.com/bqyUGJ2e

"You eat meat?"
>"What?"
>She makes her way to you
"Starlight, is this what I think it is?
>She's clearly uncomfortable with this
>"Uh... Yeah..."
>Glimmer lowers her head
>"Well, since we're now... You have to know this kind of stuff about me, right? You'd find it out one way or the other..."

>Uum
>"Yeah, I eat meat... Look, it was alright in the place where I grew up, and I buy it from the griffon store nearby, so yeah."
>Eh, it'd be wierd to ponies
"Aand... What is the problem here?"
>"You're okay with this?"
"Well, duh, I eat it too, you know."
>"You do?"
"Humans mostly eat meat, however since ponies think it's gross, I try to exclude it from my diet as much as I can."
>She ONCE AGAIN jumps onto your chest, causing you to nearly fall down, but you manage to stand still
>"You're the best, Anon!"
"I know."

>Now you gotta cook something

>Good thing that you're a real gourmet chef
>Your best dishes are Rat Quesadillas, Kitten Ramen, and a bowl of eggs
>Now you want something more...
>Hm

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ponka.png, 131KiB, 386x514

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 11:59:50 No.25859935 Report

Quoted By: >>25860108

>>25859921
>You decide your next meal
>Eggs
>A good ol' bowl of 'em

>You bring 'em over
"You don't need to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this."
>Bam
>The bowl, spinning, lands on the table
>"Huh?"
"Nah, I was just fuckin' around."
>A whole cabbage appears from behind you as you finish your sentence
>A carrot
>Maybe some bacon for the flavour
>"So I have a personal chef now?"
"With me, cutie, you have everything you could wish for."
>"Hm. Even my own Element of Harmony?"
>That's kinda...
>Wierd
>Huh
>"Ah, I was just kidding."
"Why would you want any of them if you can have all at once though?"
>"What do you mean?"

>A familiar beat comes from under a couple of spoons in your hands
>"You gonna cook like this?"
>"Alright, what's the main ingridient then?"

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 13:00:17 No.25860108 Report

Quoted By: >>25860119

>>25859935
>A familiar beat comes from under a couple of spoons in your hands
>"You gonna cook like this?"
>"Alright, what's the main ingridient then?"
>The music starts in your head by itself https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4dp3pGaXqo
"Rosemary..."
"Heaven restores you in life."
>"What?"
"You're coming with me, through the aging, the fear and the strife.."
>She's really confused
>Good
"It's the smiling on the package, it's the faces in the sand, it's the thought that moves you upwards, embracing me with two hands, right will take you places, yeah maybe to the beach..."
>"Oh, it's a human song!"
"When your friends they do come crying, tell them now your pleasure's set upon slow-release..."

>After that you pinch her cheeks, dropping the spoons
"Hey wait;
Great smile;
sensitive to fate,
not denial
But hey who's on trial?"

>It seems that everyone is magical somehow in Equestria, pony or not
>The music is still playing, not in your head, but all around you
>And it feels fucking awesome

"It took a lifespa-an with no cellmate
The long wa-ay back
Saying, 'Hey, why can't we look the other way?'"

"We speaks about travel, yeah, we think about the land..."

>Picking your little pony up, you two spin around in the kitchen
>"We're smart like all ponies, feeling real tan"
"I could take you places, do you need a new man?"
>"Wipe the pollen from the faces, make revision to a dream while you wait in the van"

"Hey wait, great smile"
>"Sensitive to fate, not..."
>Her eyes shine in the sunset
>You could say, Glimmer
>"Denial."
"But hey, who's on trial?"

>Here it comes

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO glimglamshimsham.gif, 74KiB, 363x363

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 13:03:18 No.25860119 Report

Quoted By: >>25860127

>>25860108
"It took a lifespan with no cellmate, to find a long way back"
"Saying, 'Hey, why can't we look the other way?'"
>Pressing Starlight like a plushie to your chest, you continue
"You're weightless, you are exotic."
>"You need something for which to care"
"Saying, 'Hey, why can't we look the other way?'"

>B E S T P O N Y
>You're sold
>To her

"Leave some shards under the belly, lay some grease inside my hand."
"It's a sentimental jury, and the makings of a good plan."
>"You've come to love me lightly, yeah you've come to hold me tight."
"Is this motion everlasting, or do shutters pass in the night?"

"Rosemary..."
>"Aw."
"Heaven restores you in life."

"I've spent a lifespa-an..."
>"With no soulmate."
"The long wayy ba-aack..."
>"Saying, 'Hey, why can't we find another way?'"
"You're weightless, semi-erotic,"
>"Thanks."
"You need someone to take you the-ere"
>"Saying, 'Hey, why can't we look the other way?'"
"Why can't we just play the other game?"
>"Why can't we just look the other way?"

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO glimglam.png, 293KiB, 1092x1200

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Wed 23 Dec 2015 13:10:30 No.25860127 Report

Quoted By:

>>25860119

>The two of you burst out laughing after the song is finished
>This wasn't the last time you were doing something like this together
>But this morning was the last time you and Starlight were apart.

Maybe Fin.

Game Sphere Bumpfag !93BumpGa4Y

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Game Sphere Bumpfag !93BumpGa4Y Wed 23 Dec 2015 15:03:25 No.25860422 Report

Quoted By:

bump

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 15:21:34 No.25860512 Report

Quoted By: >>25860769 >>25861045 >>25861891 >>25862822 >>25863993 >>25881026

>>25852167
Today in the continuing Adventures of He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria

>It's finally time and your plan is underway
>You're inside Anon's house and you're about to steal his sword
>Normally stealing is wrong but in this case it's for his own good, somepony will get hurt if this continues
>Just have to find it before he gets back from the marketplace
>After a short search you finally find it in a box under his sofa
>Just as you're about to pick it up the door behind you slams open, Anon is there and he's wearing his loincloth
>"AH HA! EVIL-LYN! COME TO STEAL THE SWORD OF POWER HAVE YOU!"
>"I wasn't stealing anything" you blurt out
>"No? You're alone? Then I know why you are here."
>Anon strides across the room sweeping you up into his arms and pressing a finger against your lips
>"You don't need to say it my love, I know how you feel"
>Terrified and confused all you manage is a strangled squeek
>"But our love can never be, you Skeletor's second in command and I the Protector of Eternia!"
>Anon presses his lips against yours, kissing you deeply before unceremoniously dumping you on the sofa
>Turning to face a blank wall Anon starts speaking
>"Love is a complicated and difficult thing. But if you're willing to compromise it can turn even enemies into friends"
>There's nopony there, you want to ask him who the buck he's talking to but your shocked mind can only spit out a weak "Anon?"
>"COME BATTLECAT!"
>Part of the roof crashes inward revealing Princess Cadence standing in a pile of debris
>"WE RIDE TO CASTLE GRAYSKULL!" Anon yells leaping onto Cadence's back
>"OH YES! RIDE ME HE-ANON! RIDE ME!"
>There's another crash as they tear a new hole in the roof and fly away
>Leaving you on the sofa, shocked, aroused and very, very confused
>"I need to lie down"

Next Episode: Can He-Man and the Masters of Equestria prevent Skeletor from ruining Nightmare Night. Stay tuned to find out

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 16:11:45 No.25860742 Report

Quoted By:

bumpette

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 16:19:22 No.25860769 Report

Quoted By:

>>25860512
He-Anon is love; He-Anon is life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 17:11:02 No.25861045 Report

Quoted By:

>>25860512
These are fun.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1449362522186.png, 139KiB, 807x574

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 18:06:11 No.25861374 Report

Quoted By: >>25870106

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 18:19:46 No.25861493 Report

Quoted By: >>25861641

>>25832701
Admittedly, this was cute.
Those ponies will enjoy our snuggles whether they like it or not. And they better. Because we'll be doing it a lot.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO expensive offspring.png, 187KiB, 436x556

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 18:39:01 No.25861641 Report

Quoted By:

>>25861493
They secretly enjoy it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 20:45:48 No.25861891 Report

Quoted By: >>25862656

>>25860512
god these are great.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 22:21:28 No.25862642 Report

Quoted By:

page 9 bump

keep it going faggots

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1440090091710.png, 135KiB, 446x657

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 22:21:59 No.25862656 Report

Quoted By:

>>25861891
Why are snooters so boopable?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 22:38:03 No.25862822 Report

Quoted By: >>25862976 >>25863452 >>25870172

>>25860512
I don't get it. Never saw He-Man.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 22:52:51 No.25862976 Report

Quoted By: >>25862988

>>25862822
Man, it's crazy AiE is still going (mostly) self-independent after these years. I wanted to drop by for a little nostalgia's sake so call me a faggot all you like, but the thread seems slow enough to start a discussion.

What are your guy's favorite stories? Writers? Piece of smut you've masturbated to the most?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 22:53:52 No.25862988 Report

Quoted By:

>>25862976
didnt mean to respond to the post abovr
my bad

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2015 23:42:11 No.25863452 Report

Quoted By:

>>25862822
Shit was rad.
Bravestarr made afterwards by the company was also neat. Only cartoon I can remember where the obligatory drugs are bad episode had a kid die of an od.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:24:54 No.25863986 Report

Quoted By: >>25864072 >>25864073 >>25864107 >>25864214 >>25864232 >>25864746 >>25865123 >>25865131 >>25865473 >>25866370 >>25866956 >>25868677 >>25871857 >>25871877 >>25881412

I got a question for writers new and old and an opportunity for shameless self-plugging.
What's your favorite thing you've written? It could be a one-shot, long story, or even non-AiE. Pony-related, however.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:25:25 No.25863993 Report

Quoted By:

>>25860512
Beastman when?

Newshit Writefriend !!mpeIcpPtbyG

Newshit Writefriend !!mpeIcpPtbyG Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:33:49 No.25864072 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
http://pastebin.com/Pr56sHBU

I left it off saying that anybody could continue it themselves, but nobody has (as far as I know). I actually feel like continuing it myself...

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1425051596090.jpg, 19KiB, 720x429

Bolding !!dVOHcUiBxA8 Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:33:51 No.25864073 Report

Quoted By: >>25866672

>>25863986
Bad Dragon
http://pastebin.com/bm6bT8bQ

This was the most fun to write. 8th and I were drunk as fuck late one night on Skype. We were losing our shit over the ideas I was throwing out so this beautiful concoction rolled out. The sad thing is that I haven't had that much enjoyment writing since then unless it was Punny Pinkies. You really should stick to writing for fun.

Stegtorn !4E.3Zpgv2U

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO BOMBAD.png, 8KiB, 512x480

Stegtorn !4E.3Zpgv2U Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:36:47 No.25864107 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
I absolutely loved every second of writing Horse la Horse. It was a meme-y, reference-y shitfest.

Fun to write, I'd say fun to read if you don't take it too seriously and you're in the mood for pure shlock.

First episode is here: http://pastebin.com/jNGJzFA7

And then I started a sequel/second season! But I'm on the fence about finishing it.

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO In my nightmares I see my Nora b (...).jpg, 270KiB, 1272x858

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:46:06 No.25864214 Report

Quoted By: >>25864306

>>25863986

Other than Mad Science, obviously, "Anonymous Wants to be Hardcore but Twilight Won't Let Him."

http://pastebin.com/9ZQCyBh4

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:47:12 No.25864232 Report

Quoted By: >>25864746

>>25863986
Anything with YoungAnon

Newshit Writefriend !!mpeIcpPtbyG

Newshit Writefriend !!mpeIcpPtbyG Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:53:22 No.25864306 Report

Quoted By: >>25864380

>>25864214
Hey I remember that.

Do you feel like continuing it? Because that was great.

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO A frigid soul looks upon his foz (...).jpg, 101KiB, 903x685

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Thu 24 Dec 2015 00:58:28 No.25864380 Report

Quoted By: >>25864540

>>25864306

Maybe. I'm also writing some other stuff right now for Nightly Scilight Thread, but if I get some time or some good ideas, then sure.

Newshit Writefriend !!mpeIcpPtbyG

Newshit Writefriend !!mpeIcpPtbyG Thu 24 Dec 2015 01:13:27 No.25864540 Report

Quoted By: >>25864808

>>25864380
Thank you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 01:30:08 No.25864746 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
My summer story of Anon and Flitter. Flitter's my all-time favorite background pony and I really need to write more about her.
http://pastebin.com/WmQ1LHLA

>>25864232
Fuck yeah, dude. Young Anon, be that teen or kid, is fucking awesome and always a joy to write.

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Silohouette.jpg, 133KiB, 1024x768

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Thu 24 Dec 2015 01:35:47 No.25864808 Report

Quoted By:

>>25864540

You're welcome, mate.

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Thu 24 Dec 2015 02:05:51 No.25865123 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
Hope Rides Alone.

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Corn holin'.jpg, 37KiB, 500x211

TexAnon !!UsC+cjlldAl Thu 24 Dec 2015 02:06:28 No.25865131 Report

Quoted By: >>25870183

>>25863986
Don't have an overall favorite thing I've written but I feel like 4pony.org (http://pastebin.com/Vt1qUpJP) was my funniest story. The segment where they talked about creepypasta was pretty weak since I just assumed everyone would know the stories saving me the effort of even trying to condense them but it still fell a little flat. It was also one of my favorite stories that picked on Twilight before that whole 'she is a gassy pony' fad started.

As far as sexy times goes, I'd have to go with Living the Boob Life (http://pastebin.com/S8MTLTjJ) and it's subsequent releases which I was inspired to write because I was fan of Living the Good Life by Aether. Plenty of pony poon, draconequus tiddies and my personal favorite, butt fuckin'. This nostril fucking thing I've been working on since yesterday will also be a part of the series.

Mind Wave

Mind Wave Thu 24 Dec 2015 02:34:28 No.25865473 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
Probably my SpiderAnon/Halloween story, though my Jailbird Anon might become it soon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 03:16:15 No.25865902 Report

Quoted By: >>25865958 >>25866182 >>25866669 >>25871817

How'd that Sekrit Santa work out?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 03:20:25 No.25865958 Report

Quoted By:

>>25865902
It's not X-mas yet, you faggot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 03:41:17 No.25866182 Report

Quoted By: >>25866243 >>25871817

>>25865902
Didn't get anything in the mail
:(

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 03:45:41 No.25866243 Report

Quoted By:

>>25866182
LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU MY ADDRESS
BUT DECEMBER 23RD WAS FULL OF DURESS
THIS YEAR, TO AVOID THE SAME FATE
I'VE DECIDED NOT TO PARTICIPATE

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 03:58:10 No.25866370 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
Fuck that's a hard one. I always try to do something different each story to make things challenging and that has created a lot of fun looking back at old stories.

Since a non-answer is a lame answer, overall I would have to say Shipbuilding Anon is my favorite. I like to write in that off-meter style so much and rarely get to use it. Plus writting the ending felt so good I literally did fist pumps.

http://pastebin.com/JdUadny6

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Fresh out.png, 174KiB, 429x491

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Thu 24 Dec 2015 04:22:38 No.25866669 Report

Quoted By: >>25867043 >>25868580 >>25871267

>>25865902

It went pretty well in terms of gift giving and receiving for me, but I, being an idiot and Jewish, didn't realize I was supposed to wait until Christmas to open my Secret Santa gift.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 04:22:54 No.25866672 Report

Quoted By:

>>25864073
>Drawing an arrow to a dot, you write down the word 'clitoris'.
>"Cli... Tor... Rus."
"No, it's pronounced 'Cli-ter-es'."
>"Clit-tor-res?"

I don't know why people even have these arguments. It doesn't exist.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Thu 24 Dec 2015 04:42:32 No.25866889 Report

Quoted By: >>25866984

Christmas crosspost
>>25866166
>Be Anon, almost christmas time
>Pony princess tells you she wants you to come to the castle and give her your flare
>It's a strange request, but she's been a good pony
>Gave you a sweet house, gave you guards to chase the other ponies away when they try to break into your aforementioned sweet house
>Also she's been throwing scientist ponies at the problem of you not being able to get beck to earth
>You miss your stuff
>You do have a box of flares in your car though, and not much use for them
>You've decided.
>Princess Celestia McHorse will get a flare this christmas

>Be Celestia McPony
>Anon agreed to give you the flare
>You're so excited, it's like you're Captain Kirk except not in space!
>You're going to get that hot alien cock
>"Hi Celestia, I've got that flare for you."
"Stick it in me"
>"Are you sure?"
>You decide to lay on the charm for this.
"DO IT! I WANT TO FEEL YOUR FLARE BURST FORTH IT'S WONDEROUS SPRAY INTO MY HORSE-VAG!"
"Okay, if that's what you really want."
>You feel Anon thrust his firm rod into your candyvag
>Wink wink wink
>There's a tugging and then you don't feel anything there anymore
>What?
>You look back to see Anon standing a good distance away from you
>Also there is a bright light and smoke coming from your ladyparts
>SHIT YOUR CUNT IS ON FIRE!
>ABORT ABORT ABORT!
>You rush out of the room through the most expedient exit, a stained glass window
>After hitting the ground below, you get up and jump into a fountain to cool your cooch, which now has a huge gaping hole burned down out through your belly
>At least the heat has cauterized it so you're not bleeding everywhere.
>When you planned to get the hot monkey dick, you never expected this.

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA

GSW !hd8GSW4gNA Thu 24 Dec 2015 04:47:33 No.25866956 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
Still haven't figured it out yet. Every green was forgettable, unfunny as shit (as Anons said) and had no feedback or pretty much any attention whatsoever.
Since it's like the third time I'm changing my name on /mlp/, I still haven't written a good enough green for me, and just finish something for the lonely Anon that's reading my shit. Well, MLMP is finished, so I guess I'm free now.
But MLMP was by far the most fun I had writing a green in a long time

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 04:49:42 No.25866984 Report

Quoted By:

>>25866889
I get it!

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 04:54:38 No.25867043 Report

Quoted By: >>25867182

>>25866669

The nose knows.

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Let's see who's behind this mask.jpg, 9KiB, 250x245

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:05:08 No.25867182 Report

Quoted By:

>>25867043

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:17:31 No.25867331 Report

Quoted By: >>25867349

>Be Anon the Gentleman.
>You sit in a large chair in the parlor of the Canterlot Gentlecolt Society beside the fire.
>A book in your hand and a glass of scotch on the table beside you.
>Two other Gentlecolts also sit with you.
>Earl Gray, the earth pony, was smoking a corncob pipe.
>The other one, a unicorn named Ulysses, was cleaning his musket.
>As the group relaxed, a small child came trotting in.
>He walked up to Ulysses that was now polishing his weapon.
>"Excuse me, sir," said the child. "But I have a new expedition for you."
>The old unicorn looked up from his gun to the child who was holding up a letter for him.
>"Ah, thank you, child," he said as he took the letter with telekinesis.
>The Earl Gray and yourself looked up from your activities as Ulysses read the letter.
>"Good news, Gents!" he exclaims. "We have an expedition into the Everfree Forest."
>"Jolly good, sir!" replied Earl.
"Quite," you agree. "What's the expedition?"
>"There appears to be a manticore harrassing the citizens of the nearby village of Ponyville," explained Ulysses.
>"What shall be done about the beast?" asked Earl.
>"Standard capture and remove scenario," answered the unicorn.
"Sounds easy," you reply. "Almost too much so."
>"Yes, unfortunately," replied Ulysses as he set the letter beside him. "Which is why I want you to take the lad, here, with you, Anonymous."

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:18:53 No.25867349 Report

Quoted By: >>25867358

>>25867331
>An excited grin appeared on the colt's face.
"Would you care to repeat yourself?" you ask the unicorn.
>"You. And the lad," repeated Ulysses. "I believe it's time the boy learned how to become a Gentlecolt."
>"Wow! For real?" exclaimed the colt.
>You let out a deep sigh and close your book.
>Downing the last of your scotch, you rise from your seat.
"You're the boss, old stallion," you say to Ulysses.
>The unicorn responds with the rise of an eyebrow at you.
>Earl Gray chuckles to himself.
"Alright, lets go, kid," you tell the colt as you walk out.
>The little one follows you out; his smile never fading.
>"So are you just going to take that?" Earl Gray asked Ulysses.
>Ulysses gave a shrug and went back to polishing his musket.
>"He's not wrong. I'm an old bastard," he answered with a hearty chuckle.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:19:54 No.25867358 Report

Quoted By: >>25867368

>>25867349
>Back to you.
"Alright Lad, listen up."
>The colt's ears perk up and he turns his attention from the armory wall to you.
"Drag that trunk over here because we have work to do."
>Lad follows his command and pushes an over-sized trunk over to you.
>It takes a minute, given that it's twice his size.
>"What shall we need for the hunt, sir?" he asks.
>You grab a blunderbuss off the wall and handed to Lad.
>He holds it in his hooves; not maintaining muzzle awareness.
"Ah!" you scold as you grab the muzzle and direct it away from yourself. "I'll tell you as we go."
>He nods and places the firearm into the chest.
>As you root around in a draw for ammo, the colt keeps doing his thing.
>"Do we need rope?" he asks.
"Ask yourself this, Lad. 'Why would we need the rope?' ".
>"Uhm..." he starts. "Maybe we would need to scale a cliff or something? Perhaps tie somepony up?"
>You stop in your task and slowly turn to your head towards your assistant.
"You do know that this isn't a movie, right?" you ask him. "We're capturing and removing a manticore. Not holding kidnapping someone. Now toss this net into the trunk."
>Said net is given to the youngster and he places it with the blunderbuss.
>Closing the lid on a small box, you slide it across the counter to the colt who places it in the chest.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:20:55 No.25867368 Report

Quoted By: >>25867391

>>25867358
"Okay, so," you start. "Manticores are large, vicious creatures. They often stay within the borders of the Everfree Forest, but sometimes they wander and cause trouble. Rarely do they ever cause any real harm since most ponies run at the first sign of one."
>You look over your shoulder at Lad.
"You getting all this?" you ask.
>He nods his head in response.
"Now since this is a simple expedition, and it seems that Ulysses has thought you old mature enough to one day become a Gentlecolt, you are to follow me and obey my every command."
>Again you look over your shoulder at Lad.
"Got it?"
>He doesn't answer because he's got stars in his eyes.
>A snap of your fingers brings him out of it.
"If you're easily distracted like that, you'll never stop being a Lad."
>His head turns to the floor.
>"Yes, sir..."
"Don't get down. It took all of us years to accomplish the feat. You will be no different. Now help me finish packing."
>You reach for your safari cap and place it upon your head.
>"Yes, sir," Lad said more confidently.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:22:22 No.25867391 Report

Quoted By: >>25867403

>>25867368
>Packed for the expedition, the two of you set out by carriage to Ponyville where the distress letter came from.
>Lad spent his time looking out across the countryside.
>His excitement held at a steady high the whole time.
>You occupied yourself with a bit of drink and an aim to finish your novel.
>Upon arriving at your destination, you exit the carriage and stretch your legs.
>Lad hops out, anxious to start the expedition.
"Be a good Lad and get the baggage, will you?" you tell him.
>"Yes, sir!" he replies.
>Spotting an older mare before you, you walk over to greet her.
"Good day, ma'am," you greet, tipping your hat at the pony. "I am Anonymous of the Canterlot Gentlecolt Society. We received word that you have a manticore problem that must be dealt with. Am I to assume you are the mayor of this village?"
>"Oh yes! Thank you for coming!" greeted Mayor Mare. "We've been in fear of the thing coming into town and wreaking... *CRASH!* ... Havoc."
>The mayor had paused as she looked past you to see Lad tugging on the chest to get it off the carriage.
>It seems he forgot just how heavy it was as it slid off and crashed on top of him to the ground.
"Don't worry, ma'am. The beast shall not be a problem," you assure her; ignoring the spectacle behind you.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:23:23 No.25867403 Report

Quoted By: >>25867426

>>25867391
>"That's wonderful news," said the relieved mayor. "Do you need to be escorted to the scene of the last incident?"
"No need," you say with a dismissive hand wave. "We shall hunt the beast and take it far away for it to trouble you no more."
>"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that," said the mayor. "Well if you need anything, my office is right behind me."
>She pointed to the town hall.
"Very well. Thank you," you say with a tip of your safari cap once more. "Come along, lad!" you hollar.
>Lad was just now freeing himself from beneath the spilled trunk.
>"Yes, sir!" he calls back as he frantically starts to re-load the gear into the chest.
>Lad loads it onto a wagon and pulls it behind him as he rushes to catch up to you.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:24:24 No.25867426 Report

Quoted By: >>25867445

>>25867403
>As you stand at the site of the last known location of the encroaching manticore, Lad comes slowly trudging up behind you.
>He huffs and heaves; sweating from every pore on his little colt body.
>Finally collapsing at your feet, Lad feels as if he's about to die.
>'Poor, undisciplined little fellow,' you think to yourself as you give him a glance.
>"So... *gasp* So what are we looking for... *gasp* sir?" asks a breathless Lad.
"Well, Laddie," you start. "As with all hunts, you need to looks for signs of the beast's presence. Whether that be tracks, droppings, or other identifiers."
>You kneel down and pick up a clump of lion's mane from the busted picket fence you were inspecting.
>Reaching into your pocket, you pull out a monocle and place it over your eye to examine the evidence.
>"That's the manticore's fur?" asked Lad.
"Right you are," you answer as you put the monocle away. "The details of the expedition state the beast has been attacking remote farms and homes over the last few weeks. We must inquire about future targets."
>"But who would we ask?" asked the colt.
"Why, the mayor of the village of course," you tell him. "I hope you're up for the haul back into town?"
>Lad looks from you, to the cart, and then drops his head in a heavy sigh.
>"Yes, sir..."

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:25:43 No.25867445 Report

Quoted By: >>25867453

>>25867426
>Back in Ponyville, you find yourself knocking on the doors of the mayor's office.
>You're a bit confused when the receptionist answers.
"I'm sorry, miss, but this is the town hall, correct?" you inquire.
>"Yes...?" answers the confused mare.
"We must speak to the mayor on important business."
>"Uhm... I don't believe she is busy... But you should have a seat while I check."
"Very well."
>You walk inside as Lad is straining to tug the wagon up the steps of the building.
>After a minute or two of waiting for the secretary to poke her head into the mayor's actual office, she trots over to you.
>"The mayor will see you now."
"Splendid! We thank you for the time."
>Then you look at Lad who's dragging himself on the floor over to you.
"Thank the lady, Laddie," you tell him.
>The boy's response is a horribly unintelligible gasp and heavy breathing.
>The receptionist looks on in worry, but nods at him with a smile and a "Thank you" before going about her business.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:26:44 No.25867453 Report

Quoted By: >>25867465

>>25867445
>Straightening your tie, you knock three times on the door and waited.
>"Come in~!" called the reply from the other side.
>You push the door open and step inside.
>The office was rather large.
>Almost like a parlor, but without the lounging chairs and fireplace.
>There are some details you wish to take note of and bring back to the Canterlot Gentlecolt Society's attention.
"Good afternoon, miss," you greet. "There is some business we wish to discuss about the manticore problem."
>"Us?" asked Mayor Mare with a tilt of her head.
>You motion with your arm to Lad behind you.
>"Ah," said the older mare with a nod. "Please take a seat."
"Thank you," you oblige. "We wish to know about any future targets the manticore might have."
>"Oh goodness," started the mayor. "I hope you at least have an idea of where it would go?"
"Indeed I do. Are there anymore remote areas the beast might travel to for food? As you might know, it's a predatory creature so small animals would be a prime target. Most likely one close to the border?"
>"Hmm..." thought the mayor. "The only place I can think of that sticks out is Fluttershy's cottage. She has many pets and lives very close to the Everfree Forest. How her place hasn't been attacked yet, I have no idea. My guess would be that would be the best place to be for the next attack."
>You give her an affirmative nod.
"My thoughts exactly the same."
>You stand and tip your hat.
"Excuse me. Thank you for the information."
>"You're quite welcome. And please remove the beast with the utmost care. We don't want it harmed, but..."
>Her pause is noted.
"I understand," you tell her.
>Thank you. And good luck!"
>You nod at her in thanks before walking out.
"Lets go, boy!" you call to Lad.
>Mayor Mare leans over her desk to see the worn-out colt laying on the floor.
>"C-coming... S-sir..." he weakly called after you.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:27:45 No.25867465 Report

Quoted By: >>25867481

>>25867453
>Some time later, the two of you are now standing in front of Fluttershy's college.
>Lad was being carried under your arm and you were pulling the wagon behind you.
"You know, this isn't going to happen often," you tell him.
>"Yes, sir," answered Lad as you set him down.
>Three knocks on the front door and you step back.
>A sheepish little yellow pegasus answered.
>"H-hello?" she asked very nervously.
>You tip your hat to the lady.
>"Good afternoon, miss. We are from the Canterlot Gentlecolt Society and are on the hunt for a manticore."
>"Oh my," said the mare. "I hope you don't mean you're going to hurt the poor thing?"
>You give her a dismissive wave.
"On the contrary, ma'am. We are under direct orders to do everything we can to capture the beast unharmed and release him far from Ponyville."
>"Oh, thank goodness," sighed Fluttershy in relief. "I couldn't imagine the poor little kitty getting hurt. He doesn't know what he's doing."
>Umm... What?
"Right... Well we need your permission to set up here. We have valid reason to believe that the beast will be here tonight and we do not want you or your animals to come to harm."
>Fluttershy glances down at Lad when you say 'we'.
>The colt was staring starry-eyed at her.
>"Um... I suppose that's okay?" said an uncertain pegasus.
"Thank you, ma'am. I promise we won't be much bother."
>You look down at your companion.
"Lad!"
>He breaks his focus and looks at you.
>"Huh? Yes sir?" he asks.
"Bring the gear around back. We have work to do."
>"Yes sir!"

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:28:55 No.25867481 Report

Quoted By: >>25867491

>>25867465
>As dusk began to fall, the two of you were almost finished with your preparations.
>And now you wait...
>Dusk turned to night.
>Minutes turned to hours.
>Lad and yourself had taken cover in a nearby bush and scanned the area carefully.
>The thing you didn't need to happen was have the manticore sneak up on you.
>Every now and again you would check on how Lad was holding up.
>When you spotted him dozing off or outright asleep, a little corporal punishment was dealt out.
"You do not understand the magnitude of your inability to stay awake!" you hiss at him angrily.
>And the child doesn't.
>Were this the military and he were on watch, he would have the devil beaten out of him should he be caught sleeping.
>More time passed and you tried all you could to keep the colt awake.
>And then you spotted it.
>In the darkness, you saw movement.
>You swiftly punch Lad in the shoulder and cover his mouth to mute his yelp.
"Shh..." you hush.
>Pointing towards the direction of your target, you direct Lad's attention.
>As the beast stepped into the moonlight from the cover of the nearby woods, the boy's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates.
>Now was your chance.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:29:56 No.25867491 Report

Quoted By: >>25867501

>>25867481
"This is it, boy," you whisper to him. "Hand me my weapon."
>Lad turned and grabbed your blunderbuss up in his hooves and handed it over to you.
>"I thought we weren't supposed to kill it?" he asked.
"We're not" you answer.
>The manticore makes its way from the woods to your bait.
>A chicken beneath a tree.
>Only this wasn't a chicken.
>It was just clever decoy made up of a burlap sack and some feathers from the coop.
>Nearby was a rope trap triggered by a tripwire.
>The beast was to step into the net and trap itself.
>And all was going according to plan.
>As you beast prowls up to the decoy, you take aim and cock the hammer of your firearm.
>Lad's eyes shifted from your weapon, to the target, and back.
>BANG!
>You let loose as the manticore pounces.
>Nine pepper balls filled with a burning powder let loose from the barrel of your blunderbuss and strike your target in the face.
>The impact and subsequent pepper irritants cause the manticore to roar out in pain as it reels back and falls directly onto the net; triggering it and catching itself.
>"Wow!" exclaimed your young companion. "How did you know that would happen?"
>You lower the weapon and give him a smirk.
"You tend to learn these things as you grow older," you answer. "Now that's what I call a hunt! Quick and clean."

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:31:03 No.25867501 Report

Quoted By: >>25867518

>>25867491
>The crack of the firearm woke up every animal on the property as well as the owner of the cottage who came flying out as fast as she could.
>"What was that!" she asked in a panic. "I hope nopony was hurt!"
>You give the blunderbuss to Lad and remove yourself from your cover.
"No, ma'am. All is fine and the beast has been captured without incident."
>You give her a confident smile and await her approval of your methods.
>Fluttershy raised and eyebrow at you before looking past your and observing the torn and shredded net.
>"Huh?" she asked confused.
"The manticore," you remind her. "We have captured it and-"
>You turn around and spot the destroyed trap.
"Bollocks..." you mutter before a loud roar is heard.
>Fluttershy shrieks as the manticore appears beside you with its front paws poised high above you.
>On a whim, you grab Lad and roll clear of the strike just moments before it comes down.
"Bloody beast!" you curse.
>You toss Lad to the side and jump back as the manticore's tail comes down for a strike.
>This was not part of the plan.
>Think, Anon, think!
>Lives are on the line!

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:32:10 No.25867518 Report

Quoted By: >>25867526

>>25867501
>Meanwhile, Lad panicks and bolts.
>The manticore spots him and decides he would be easy prey before rushing him.
"No!" you shout as you rush to prevent the worst case scenario.
>As Lad runs, he tries to hide in the nearest bush.
>But when he dove, he simply bounced off.
>Misjudging where its target would be, the manticore lunged for Lad; only to miss and claw into the bush that Lad was trying to dive into.
>You halt in your tracks as you watch the bush rise up from the darkness.
>And then it turned around.
>Oh sweet Celestia...
>The grizzly bear that the manticore had clawed into gave out a deafening roar and threw the manticore from it's back.
>Lad ran to you and hid behind your legs.
>You watch as the manticore roared back in challenge to the grizzle before striking with its tail.
>The bear, unfazed by the attack, looked down at the stinger in its shoulder, looked up at the manticore, gave another loud roar, and promptly smacked the devil out of his opponent.
>The manticore got knocked right out in one strike and collapsed to the ground, unconcious.
>Fluttershy came out from her cottage with a first aid kit and rushed to the aid of the bear.
>"Oh, poor Mr. Bear!" she cried. "Lets just get that boo-boo taken care of for you!"
>The bear hugged the little yellow pegasus close and let her get to work.
>"I can't believe that mean, old kitty would do such a thing!" she scoffed.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:33:10 No.25867526 Report

Quoted By: >>25867542

>>25867518
>You find yourself watching the scene play out in front of you in total confusion.
>On one hand, your plan failled utterly and almost got your companion killed.
>On the other, it all worked out and now the beast is incapacitated.
>Accepting these turn of events, you give quick shrug and turn to the kid.
"Hey Lad, did you bring that rope with us?" you ask.
>"Um... Yes sir?" answered the colt. "Why do you ask?"
>You look up at the manticore and smile.
"Oh nothing. Good job, by the way. I would have never thought to lure the manticore into a sleeping bear."
>Lad sheepishly rubbed the back of his head and laughed.
>"It was nothing, really!" he said.

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:34:11 No.25867542 Report

Quoted By: >>25867553

>>25867526
>It was a long night, but come morning, you had the beast tied up with rope and being escorted in a cage off to the Everfree Forest for it to live out its life.
>Mayor Mare walked up to you and Lad as you watch the manticore be taken away.
>"That was amazing!" she complimented.
"All in a day's work, miss," you reply. "Really, you should be thanking the lad, here. He saved us all with his quick wits."
>The mayor looked down at the colt and smiled.
>"Oh really? Well we are in your debt, little one!" she said with a smile.
>Lad nervously laughed and rubbed the back of his head again.
>"You're quite welcome, ma'am!" he replied.
>Mayor Mare looked back up at you as her receptionist brought up a chest.
>"Listen. We don't have much, but for all the troubles, we can't help but-"
>You cut her off by raising your hand to stop her.
"No thank you, miss. We politely refuse whatever gifts and instead hope you will enlist us in the events you may need us again.
>The shocked mayor paused for a moment before nodding in acceptance of your wishes.
>"We will. Thank you for your time. I hope you have a safe trip home."
"And you have a pleasant day, ma'am."
>You tip your hat and enter the carriage that had been waiting for you.
>"You have a nice day, miss!" said Lad with a smile.
>"Oh, you too sweetie!" replied the mayor. "Goodbye!"

jffry890

jffry890 Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:35:26 No.25867553 Report

Quoted By: >>25867572

>>25867542
>On the ride back to Canterlot, Lad had thought to ask a question.
>"Excuse me, sir?" he asked.
"Yes, boy?"
>"I know it might be rude to ask, but why refuse the reward? We worked hard for it!"
>You chuckle at "we", but gave him an honest answer.
"Because we're Gentlecolts, Lad. We do not do what we do for rewards. We do it because it's right. If there's anypony in need of help, we will be there should they call on us. Be polite, be professional, and always offer your services for future reference. Do you understand?"
>It took the child a moment, but he finally gave a nod.
>"I understand, sir."
"Splendid."
>And with that, you tilt your head back and pass out.
>The two of you had been up since yesterday morning, so it was only right for both of you to sleep until you arrive back in Canterlot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 05:36:47 No.25867572 Report

Quoted By: >>25869211

>>25867553
>Later that evening, as you relax once more in the parlor, you clean your blunderbuss and sip on a glass of scotch.
>Earl Gray was puffing on his corncob pipe and Ulysses was reading the local Times.
>"So how was the expedition?" asked Earl.
>You run a cloth over the bore of your weapon and return to the earth pony a shrug of your shoulders.
"It went about as expected," you reply. "About as average an expedition you can get."
>"And the boy?" asked Earl.
"Not exactly quick-witted," you tell him. "But will certainly be a hit with the ladies in the near future."
>Ulysses gives a light chuckle.
>"The boy just needs experience. Soon he will be as fine a gentlecolt as the rest of us."
"Cheers!" you shout as you raise your glass.
>"Cheers!" reply the other two as they hold their glasses high and tip them on back.

--

The end.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 07:17:09 No.25868580 Report

Quoted By: >>25868808

>>25866669
>You don't have to wait until Christmas for a secret santa.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 07:27:30 No.25868677 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
I love cute things, so writing Moonie always makes me giddy inside.

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

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IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Thu 24 Dec 2015 07:46:43 No.25868808 Report

Quoted By:

>>25868580

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 08:46:17 No.25869211 Report

Quoted By: >>25869403

>>25867572
Cheers to the story.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 09:15:43 No.25869403 Report

Quoted By:

>>25869211
Cheers to all of you. You glorious horsefuckers.

Sneaky

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Sneaky Thu 24 Dec 2015 10:07:25 No.25869638 Report

Quoted By: >>25869651

>>25848121
---

>You’ve been waiting in the entrance room to Celestia’s chambers, just outside her bedroom door, for about two days now.
>Or, at least it feels that way. Much to your chagrin, the Princess of the Sun tends to take her time in getting ready
>You would beat on the door and yell at her to hurry up, but that only ever succeeds in either making her angry or amusing her. As it stands, neither of those are particularly worth the effort.
>You glance fretfully at your watch for the zillionth time. You two are going to miss your reservations…
>Finally, you hear a click. The door swiftly glides open, and the mare of the hour steps out.
>You rise to your feet, the gears in your head turning as you attempt to come up with a snarky comment.
“Hey Cel, next time you take a century-long bathroom break, just remember not everyone... is immortal… like... you.”
>It takes a dizzying moment for you to adjust to the redirection of blood flow in your body.
>A simple but elegant red dress is draped over her lower half. It’s loose-fitting, but gravity pulls down on it hard enough so that it forms to, and even accentuates, every curve and outline of her figure.
>She struts in confidently, the dark red lipstick, the thick eyeliner, and that gentle sway to her hips all giving her an almost predatory appearance. Her pink hair is done in a Princess Cadance-esque fashion, except slightly more wavy-looking.
>She stops in front of you, striking what looks like a modeling pose. “So, Anon,” she says, her voice taking on a silky tone, “what do you think? Does it fit?”

>It comes out before you can stop yourself:
“Ohh, yeah. It fits.”
>You mentally slap yourself
>Celestia lets out a throaty chuckle at your reaction, fully aware of the havoc her appearance is wreaking on your mental faculties.
>Dammit, she’s teasing you again

Sneaky

Sneaky Thu 24 Dec 2015 10:11:03 No.25869651 Report

Quoted By: >>25869673

>>25869638
>She tosses her head, clearing her eyes of any loose strands of hair before smiling at you. ”I’m glad you like it. I put a lot of thought into this, you know.”
>You question how much time was really necessary to put on some makeup, a dress and do her hair the same way Cadance does every day
>Then again, you suppose the beauty comes not from the cosmetics, but with how good she looks with so little of it.
>Still, you don’t think it warranted an hour in the bathroom.

>”Well, Anon? Are we going or not?”
>You blink, coming back to the present
>You look down to see Celestia holding out a golden shoe adorned hoof, seemingly expecting you to take it
>something you used to do when she was a big horse rather than a small one.
“Yeah, um, Cel?” You reach down with your hand but don’t grab her hoof, indicating your inability to do so at the moment. “Don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
>”Aw.” She puts her hoof down, and then gestures toward the door with her snout. “Lead the way then, my gentlehuman.”
>You do as she says. The clicking and sliding sounds of polished metal against metal ring out through the air as you unlock all gazillion locks.
>A thought occurs to you. Before undoing the last bolt, you stop.
“Hey, Cel?”
>She looks back up at you curiously. “Yes?”
“I’m not going to step through the door and run into the inside of the bubble, am I?”
>She rolls her eyes and snorts. “No, Anonymous.”
“Just checking. No need to be like that,” you say, undoing the last bolt and opening the door. “Ladies first.”
>She waves you on with a hoof. “Oh no, you go. I insist.”
>You raise an eyebrow at that. She just smiles at you, ever so sweetly and innocently.
>Something’s up.
>You look through the doorway to the outside. No visible signs of any force fields or the like.
>Still, you need to be sure...
>Tentatively, you slowly poke your finger through the doorway.
>Sure enough, the tip of your finger taps something solid

Sneaky

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Sneaky Thu 24 Dec 2015 10:15:21 No.25869673 Report

Quoted By: >>25870523 >>25875718 >>25877170 >>25877389

>>25869651
>You whip your head around to scowl at the giggling mare behind you.
“Really?!”
>”I’m sorry!” she laughs out.
“You’re not sorry.”
>”Really, I am!” she says, obviously still not sorry. “I’ve been going overboard with the jokes lately, haven’t I?”
“Yes.”
>She rubs the back of your calf. You’re not entirely sure what this gesture means, but you think it’s similar to mussing up someone’s hair.
>”That’ll be the last prank for tonight, okay? No more pranks.”
“No more pranks.”
>”No more pranks,” she affirms, nodding her head.
>She starts walking through the door, a hoof pointed outward. “Here, let me just get rid of the—”
>You hear a loud thud, and see that the little pegasus seems to have run straight into an invisible wall.
>You want to laugh. You want to cackle and loudly proclaim the irony in the situation.
>But you refrain from doing so. You’re the bigger man here.
“Are you okay? Do you need any help?”
>Surprisingly, you manage to keep an even tone and straight face.
>Not that it really matters. Hers is kind of smashed up against the inside of the bubble.
>Unexpectedly, the force field seems to give way. Without that support, gravity takes the wheel.
>You look down at the crumpled heap on the floor. Her limbs all stick out in different directions, one of her wings even managing to escape the confines of her dress and jut out at an odd angle.
“Kind of reminds me of a bird that just hit a window.”
>Oh fuck
>Did you really just say that?
>That was supposed to stay in your brain, dammit.
>Celestia, for her part, just mumbles something into the carpet
>Probably something not good.

Just a short dump tonight. Would have more, but people seem to think that it's imperative that they sit behind me and watch my screen all night.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 11:30:11 No.25869975 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 12:08:13 No.25870106 Report

Quoted By: >>25870365

>>25861374
u-unf
oneshot of this when?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 12:26:50 No.25870172 Report

Quoted By:

>>25862822
>I don't get it. Never saw He-Man.

You can see it on Youtube.

It was glorious cheesy 1980s cheese. Mostly it was written to sell toys, but--o lawd. Our hero is a musclebound Conan clone with a blond pageboy cut, and he's constantly fighting an assortment of supervillains who are absolutely NOT gay for him, and I don't know how that rumor started.

J. Michael Straczynski wrote several episodes for the original 1980s series. Yes, the same guy who wrote and produced Babylon-5.

Here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lk4Dm0qOX4

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 12:30:19 No.25870183 Report

Quoted By:

>>25865131
Of all your stories, my personal favorite is still the. Uh. I can't recall the title, but it revolved around Anonymous and Sunbutt engaging in drunken shenanigans in the land of the Diamond Dogs, attempting to smuggle out some kind of magical whatsit by sewing it up inside Sunbutt's magical Poon of Holding.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 13:21:17 No.25870365 Report

Quoted By: >>25870410 >>25870433 >>25871995

>>25870106
Not soon.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1429679452685.png, 964KiB, 1457x1643

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 13:33:32 No.25870410 Report

Quoted By: >>25870433

>>25870365
Do want more of that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 13:42:22 No.25870433 Report

Quoted By:

>>25870365
>>25870410
Human fetish is awesome when done right.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 14:13:55 No.25870523 Report

Quoted By:

>>25869673
Oh god. Poor Celly. Even if she is teasing Anon to hell and back.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 14:58:58 No.25870630 Report

Quoted By: >>25870703 >>25870752 >>25875487

>>25834285
There's the retcon--completely change what occurred before to better facilitate moving forward through the influence of some new event. This is the worst way forward.

There's the asspull--where you introduce a solution with no prep build. You can either do it naked, or you can attempt to lay a foundation for it after the fact.

You can hide your solution under fog of war--cut away to a different narrative perspective but keep the narrative clock rolling such that by the time you return to your cornered perspective, your characters have resolved and escaped it when nobody was looking. Feel free to vaguely hint at what occurred, either seriously or as an unbelievable gag.

You can send in a rescue team--similarly cut away but only to develop a narrative line to intersect and thereby resolve your cornered one. If you've ever played Earthbound, Jeff plays this function when Ness and Paula are trapped. In a way this is an asspull you justify only immediately before its occurrence.

You can stay in Meereen and let it ride--just keep writing about the corner you're stuck in until you find a light and can write your way out. You risk a boring, dragging narrative, but you may stumble into some good stuff. In any event it's the most honest course of action. Booze, as another anon suggested, may be helpful.

Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn

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Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn Thu 24 Dec 2015 15:23:19 No.25870703 Report

Quoted By:

>>25870630
You know what you are talking about.

Have some Apple.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 15:37:26 No.25870752 Report

Quoted By: >>25870819 >>25875487

>>25834285

I agree with >>25870630 but there are of course more options available to you.

First and foremost, how much do you read yourself? Readers here quite often only read what they saw in the thread when they first entered and at times stick with writers that they've seen. I've noticed this for a few years now fucking hell has it really been years now? and that's perfectly fine, at times. But for a writer? Don't do this. Read people of the past and present so you can widen the scope of what is possible in writing, to see how others have gone about their own work. It should give you more ideas on what you can write in your work, along with things to avoid when writing as well. Possibly think of reading some off-thread stories as well, maybe some internet novels.

Another option is to just seek help from some fellow writers. Many will have ideas that you may not have considered right now for your story. Check out skype chats for that shit.

I'd also recommend trying to write some oneshots to help warm up your writing muscles up in your noggin.

Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn

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Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn Thu 24 Dec 2015 15:53:05 No.25870819 Report

Quoted By:

>>25870752
>fucking hell has it really been years now?
Hello, Herr veteran Anon.

Please, take this Rose in the name of my gratitude for you for being here for so long.

And merry christmas and a happy new year for everyone of you!

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 17:24:01 No.25871267 Report

Quoted By: >>25871306 >>25871310 >>25872165

>>25866669
Oddly enough I thought about filling the empty packing space with a shitton of chocolate coins.
That shipping weight tho

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 17:31:10 No.25871306 Report

Quoted By:

>>25871267
I had to keep mine under a kilo. I wanted to send more stuff, but couldn't.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 17:31:34 No.25871310 Report

Quoted By:

>>25871267
It's likely why they do styrofoam. Or more recently, airbags.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 18:22:01 No.25871644 Report

Quoted By: >>25872474

I just want you guys to know that you are all special to me. Merry Christmas you weird fuckers I spend every day with yet have not met in person.

anonpencil

anonpencil Thu 24 Dec 2015 18:43:16 No.25871817 Report

Quoted By:

>>25865902
>>25866182

I know ONE person hasn't sent their gift due to post office issue, and a few are sending from other countries, so I suspect a few will get gifts late.

But other than that, I think things are going/went pretty well. I hope.

anonpencil

anonpencil Thu 24 Dec 2015 18:48:02 No.25871857 Report

Quoted By: >>25872746

>>25863986

AiE? I probably had the most fun writing Hole in One or Friendship is Hyyyyngh (I mean, come on, I got to write about necrophilia and leg birth!)

Non AiE? When The Bough Breaks.

Also, Merry Christmas you lovable fuckers.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 18:49:52 No.25871877 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
Favorite thing would probably be one of my interlewds. Probably the Pinkie one.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 18:59:25 No.25871955 Report

Quoted By: >>25871977

I can't remember the name of this story, hopefully one of you good horsefuckers can help me. It's about Anon being in lurve with Celly, but due to a legal quirk in order to marry Sunhorse he has to marry Moonhorse as well. So Celestia tries to set up Luna and Anon in situations where they'll grow to love each other.

Anyone help me out here?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 19:02:55 No.25871977 Report

Quoted By:

>>25871955
Satellite Lovers by Nav
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/259849/satellite-lovers

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 19:05:03 No.25871995 Report

Quoted By: >>25872016 >>25872746

>>25870365
I have been sitting here for a while pondering on what he ment by "Goat Moms"...

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 19:07:52 No.25872016 Report

Quoted By:

>>25871995
>he doesn't know about goat moms

ur cute

IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu

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IceMan !!DDeDTnWrfcu Thu 24 Dec 2015 19:23:55 No.25872165 Report

Quoted By:

>>25871267

You sent me enough ice-themed candy to last the entire winter, I think I that was enough.
Thank you, though, the gift was really awesome.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 19:32:40 No.25872222 Report

Quoted By: >>25872650 >>25873353 >>25877801

>>25843442
>Bad advice.

I had this kid bullying me, but teachers would just play it off because he was sociable with them, even though he was a fucking idiot. As I've come to realise, the popular bully type kids usually grow up to be teachers.

One day I got tired of it, and I punched him so hard in the head the flesh split open and he was knocked out. Had to get stitches.

I spent a month in detention, and the teachers wouldn't let me do anything art related for that year, "We'll be making paper parachutes today! Except Anon, he'll probably try stabbing someone with the scissors." But he never fucked with me again.

I should just note, before this I was an A grade student and always did my best in classes.

And last I heard of the bully, he's in jail for rape.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 20:01:53 No.25872474 Report

Quoted By:

>>25871644
love you too, anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 20:22:35 No.25872650 Report

Quoted By:

>>25872222
THE QUADS OF-well that's just sad Anon. Sorry that you and the guy he raped had to go through that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 20:31:40 No.25872746 Report

Quoted By: >>25873601 >>25878629

>>25871857
>When The Bough Breaks
You wrote an episode of Star Trek?
It was a shit episode because it was about that mary sue Wesley Crusher.

>>25871995
Undertale, a goat woman adopts you. but you break her heart because there is no "Stay with Goatman" route.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 21:42:07 No.25873353 Report

Quoted By:

>>25872222
>he's in jail for rape.
Lel

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 22:10:46 No.25873601 Report

Quoted By: >>25873609 >>25873691

>>25872746
Real spoiler to Undertale.
If you end up doing the True Pacifist ending, she asks if you have anywhere to go once you break the barrier. You can choose to tell her "no" and she actually adopts you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 22:11:25 No.25873609 Report

Quoted By:

>>25873601
brb

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 22:19:13 No.25873691 Report

Quoted By: >>25873724

>>25873601
Another actual spoiler
He said "Goatman", though
And there isn't an option to stay with goat man, because Toby's biased towards goat mom because he's a bitch

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 22:23:27 No.25873724 Report

Quoted By: >>25873738 >>25873765

>>25873691
Another spoiler.
Undertale is fucking shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 22:24:50 No.25873738 Report

Quoted By:

>>25873724
Another spoiler
Hating Undertale is just as much of a meme as liking Undertale

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 22:27:17 No.25873765 Report

Quoted By:

>>25873724
Confirmed for insufficiently determined.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 23:43:43 No.25874470 Report

Quoted By: >>25874586

Bump

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 24 Dec 2015 23:57:32 No.25874586 Report

Quoted By:

>>25874470
Every time someone bumps someone else says "bump with fucking content".
It'll be a Christmas miracle if one of you mongoloids gets it through your heads.

Bump

Bump Fri 25 Dec 2015 00:03:23 No.25874655 Report

Quoted By: >>25874721

With Content

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 00:09:59 No.25874721 Report

Quoted By:

>>25874655
That's better, nerd.

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Thank you!.png, 168KiB, 680x758

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 25 Dec 2015 01:30:27 No.25875487 Report

Quoted By: >>25875701

>>25870630
Thanks for the advice. I already solved my little problem but I will remember it for the future.
And booze really helps... Just have to be careful that I'm not getting too tipsy... I forget so much words and phrases when that happens.

>>25870752
I read quite a lot, but... Well in german and while that helps me with the "general" writing stuff it doesn't help me along when writing in english. Which is quite a bit different thanks to the grammar and what not.
ALso I should ask more often for help I guess... Even if I don't like to do this.
Thanks for your input too.

Also for the anons who still are interested in my story:
Gonna update tomorrow night. Finally have some days off and can concentrate on my favourite hobby again.
Stay tuned.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 01:55:02 No.25875701 Report

Quoted By: >>25875714

>>25875487
so, tiny unicorns also like mmmbananas?

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg

CrossRoads !ZiCSQlUUJg Fri 25 Dec 2015 01:56:33 No.25875714 Report

Quoted By: >>25875811

>>25875701
Yes, she does. But not yours, Anon. She's too young for things like that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 01:56:53 No.25875718 Report

Quoted By:

>>25869673
That's why I use my tablet. No one can sneak behind me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 02:07:20 No.25875811 Report

Quoted By: >>25876125

>>25875714
She'll learn to like it.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Sweetie blank stare.png, 285KiB, 1600x1529

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 02:41:45 No.25876125 Report

Quoted By: >>25876295 >>25877155

>>25875811
>"That's not a banana, Anon..."

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 02:56:43 No.25876275 Report

Quoted By:

I just want to let you all know that you're all faggots tan di wish you all ha ppy chrismtas

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Sweetiebelle_dot_exe_is_not_resp (...).gif, 33KiB, 180x226

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 02:58:58 No.25876295 Report

Quoted By:

>>25876125

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:19:39 No.25877015 Report

Quoted By: >>25877051

IT'S CHRISTMAS.
POST CHRISTMAS.

BROS IN EQUESTRIA REPOST.

>Year 5 in Equestria
>Man, Equestria had weird decorations for trees.
>Meaning that they didn't have any at all. Apparently they didn't do much for trees here.
"How's it look?"
>You hear Rainbow flutter around the opposite side. "It still looks lopsided, Anon."
>Ohfer-
"This is the fifth time I've put these decorations on again, how is it STILL lopsided?"
>You step out from behind the tree and look at it. Handmade decorations of crystals and tinsel hang from the branches and catch the light of the living room.
"See, it looks fine to me."
>Rainbow lands and walks up to the tree. "But there's more tinsel on this side and more crystals up there!"
>You glower at her.
"Are you serious?"
>Rainbow's look back at you said it all. She always liked Hearths Warming, you suppose you could understand why she was taking it so seriously.
>"Mom, Dad?"
>The two of you turn around, Thunderstrike is standing in the doorway behind you.
>"Can we put the star on now?" he asks.
>You look to Rainbow, she shrugs the conversation you were just having away.
"Yeah, c'mon buddy, you can help me."
>Thunder trots up behind you as you dig through a box and pull out a hand carved star made of magical resonance crystal.
>A little something you did on your lunch breaks.
>You hand the star to Thunder.
"Wanna help out?"
>The boy eagerly nods and begins to flutter his wings as hard as he can.
>Lessons with Dash serve him well as he gently carries himself up to the top of the tree and places it on the tip.
>You reach inside and twist a crystal you placed there and light up the entire tree in reds, greens, and whites.
>The three of you sit and bask in the glow of the tree when a knock comes at the door.

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:23:08 No.25877051 Report

Quoted By: >>25877087

>>25877015
>Thunder drops down from the air and bounces up and down. "They're here! They're here!"
>You look at your watch.
"Only ten minutes late..."
>Rainbow kisses your cheek and gets up. "It's not like we were really ready."
>You push yourself off the ground and go and open the door.
>On the other side is another blue mare and her own companion dressed in bundles. "Zdravstvuyte, vse!" she shouts.
>"Yeah, hey." he says behind his wrapped boxes.
>You step to the side and usher them in. "Welcome, comrades."
>Lotus casually walks in and hugs Rainbow, the two of them already holding their own conversation.
>Mous grunts and slogs in after, the weight of his gifts making him sway.
>"Tell me where I can put this crap down before I have a hernia."
>You gesture to the living room and grab the box off top to lighten the load.
"Aunty! Uncle!" Thunder cries and bounds over to them.
>Mous dances around as Thunder runs between his legs cheering.
>"Gah! Poozer! Stop! Let me-! Boxes! Okay now!"
>Thunder leaps into Mous's arms as soon as the boxes hit the floor.
>The two of them play wrestle a bit and laugh.
>"How ya doin, Poozer?"
>You sit on the arm of the sofa.
"Thinking about getting one of your own, man?"
>Mous scratches Thunder's ears. "Yeah, because I'm such GREAT father material."
>"Selling ourselves short, are we?" Lotus says from the hallway.
>"Being realistic."
>You flick his head.
"Debbie, you're bringin' me down."
>"Nobody likes a Debbie Downer, uncle." Thunder giggles.
>Mous glares up at you. "How long did you two practice that?"
>You won't lie.
"Bout twenty minutes."

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:26:00 No.25877087 Report

Quoted By: >>25877094

>>25877051
>Some time later the five of you are seated around the tree, handing out gifts to one another.
>You never were big on tradition.
>You hand Thunder a box almost as big as he was.
>The boy jumps up and tears at the paper until he gets to the box below, revealing a picture of a four wheeled, metal framed scooter.
>"OH, WOW!" he shouts, almost reaching the ceiling what with how high he jumps.
>He dashes over to the scooter box and examines it, reading over every word on the box.
>"A plank with some wheels? Really?" Mous asks.
"I saw Scootaloo buzzing around on it and thought it might be a good idea for a junior flyer."
>Mous rises to his feet and grabs a long, thin, yet unwrapped box from his own pile and hands it to Thunder.
>Thunderstrike eyes the box with barely held back curiosity and pulls the contents out.
>What slides out of the box is a red and brown electric guitar with four thick strings along its long neck.
>Your eyes go between the instrument and Mous.
"You got him a guitar?"
>"I got him a BASS guitar."
"And what the hell is he supposed to do with a BASS guitar?"
>Mous shrugs. "Pick up chicks?"
>You pinch the bridge of your nose as Thunder looks the bass over.
>"How does it work, uncle?"
>Mous kneels down and plucks one of the strings, filling the living room with a low "Bwoooooooonnnng."
>Thunder's eyes go wide as he plays with the strings a bit more.
"You have to get him something to pick up chicks? You can't just get him a toy?"
>Mous sits back down next to Lotus. "Aren't uncles supposed to help young boys "grow up"? Besides, you don't have any dirty magazines in this hick town."

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:27:09 No.25877094 Report

Quoted By: >>25877111

>>25877087
>Some hours pass and all of you are relaxing on the couch after dinner.
>You have Home Alone on the TV and Thunder on the floor watching as the events unfold in rapt attention.
>Gifts were exchanged all around. Mous got Rainbow a bomber jacket with holes for her wings and you got Lotus a new hair band.
>Rainbow glances up at you from your lap. "You two gonna give each other something?"
>Lotus stretches out across her area of the couch like a cat. "Yes, don't tell me that the two boys who've known each other for almost thirty years don't get each other something for Hearths Warming."
>You and Mous exchange a look.
"We got each other something..."
>"We always do." he says.
"But we'll give it to each other later."
>Rainbow and Lotus share their own look before they start trying to tickle your stomachs.
>"What'd you get!? What'd you get!?" they squee.
>You and Mous giggle so loud you barely hear two knocks resound through the house.
"The door! We got the door!"
>You and Mous leap off the couch and run to the door.
>Flinging it open, you are greeted with two shapes that stand out against the snow, one purple and another alabaster white.
>"Greetings Anon and Mous, in this season of the holidays I-"
>"OH HELL, NOT HERE TOO."
>Celestia and Mous glare at each other.
>"Away vile temptress! Ye shall not seduce my nephew!" Mous shouts while making a cross with his fingers.
>Twilight and you both roll your eyes.
"Just coming around to celebrate?"
>"Yep." she says.
"Happy Hearths Warming, Twi."
>"Happy Hearths Warming, Anon."
>Celestia sighs. "And here I was hoping for a gift~"
>Mous breaks a particularly long icicle off the front of the door frame and hands it to the Princess.
>"Go nuts."

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:28:40 No.25877111 Report

Quoted By: >>25877123

>>25877094
-Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=751tnagDoaQ-
>You and Mous are throwing on your jackets near the door some time later, a pair of brown paper bags in your hands.
>Your gifts to one another.
"We'll be back in a few!"
>Rainbow shushes you and continues to stroke a sleeping Thunder's mane.
>Mous chuckles and leads you out into the cold.
>The two of you talk a bit along the path into town, mostly about life now that you were apart from one another.
>In time, you both come to the decorated town hall, stopping right in front of the Diamond Dog memorial plaque.
>You both hand each other your gifts and unwrap them.
>You both get a single bottle of booze for Christmas.
"A beer every year."
>"Just as always."
>You and Mous pop the caps off the beers and clink them together, chugging them down in the middle of town.
>You both finish, Mous punctuating his with a loud belch.

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM

Mandriid !b0nLshMElM Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:29:51 No.25877123 Report

Quoted By:

>>25877111
>"So, heard the little poozer talking a bit tonight "dad"."
>You rub the back of your head
"Yeah...happened a few months ago."
>Thunder had been with you about a year but had only just started calling you "mom and dad".
>Once day after you had picked him up from school he just said "Let's go get a snack, mom and dad."
>You and Rainbow were so flabbergasted that you just caved then and there.
>Mous pats your shoulder. "Good on ya, man."
"How bout you, man?"
>Mous shurgs. "Not much to say. I work with Lo', I come home, I mess with Celly when I get the chance."
"Heh, got a routine down, huh?"
>"I run a tight ship, he says with a smirk."
>You take a deep breath, drawing in the cold air.
>There weren't enough moments like this anymore...just the two of you and the ones who mattered.
>Still, in the mood of the season, you'd take what you could get.
"Ready to head back?"
>Mous nods. "Yeah, but first things first..."
>He winds up and hocks the bottle at the upper levels of town hall, a shattering glass sound signaling his success.
>"FUCK, WINDOW, RUN."
>Mous bolts down the street in an instant, leaving you there for a moment.
>Some moments you could do without, though...

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:32:44 No.25877155 Report

Quoted By:

>>25876125
It's a phone

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:34:13 No.25877170 Report

Quoted By: >>25877204

>>25869673
what is this story about
i havent read it yet

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:38:20 No.25877204 Report

Quoted By: >>25877237

>>25877170
anon

anon

anon

if you read it, you'll know what it's about

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 04:41:53 No.25877237 Report

Quoted By:

>>25877204
but i dont want to read it to find out theres only a thousand lines and it takes a year between updates

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 05:00:17 No.25877389 Report

Quoted By:

>>25869673
>spoiler
I fucking hate it when people do that.

HippyPony

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Skin tight is best tight.jpg, 127KiB, 755x569

HippyPony Fri 25 Dec 2015 05:28:11 No.25877670 Report

Quoted By: >>25878164

anybody, if you are aware of what I'm writing here...
would you want Catalyst to come back with some improved writing?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 05:44:44 No.25877801 Report

Quoted By: >>25880793

>>25872222
Bro, you punched that bitch so hard he turned into a rapist. How does that feel?

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Fri 25 Dec 2015 06:22:30 No.25878164 Report

Quoted By:

>>25877670
>Do we want more writefagging?
Yes.

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Cant Wake Up Inside.png, 198KiB, 1050x973

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 Fri 25 Dec 2015 06:34:14 No.25878256 Report

Quoted By: >>25878265 >>25879049

>It's early in the morning.
>The sun is still making it's climb into the sky as it's warm glow creeps over the winter wonderland into your window where the tiniest hole in your curtains allow Princess Celestia's grossly incandescent light to perfect flash into your eyes.
>After a grouchy and groggy swear-fest of every kind of obscenity, you climb out of bed and head to the next room over.
>If you're going to be up this early, then by god she will too.
>Besides, you're a little excited by both the day and the prospect of waking the little demon up first for once.
>You slowly open up the door and peer inside to see Moonie cuddly up to Sir Bearington.
>The sight brings a smile to your face. How can it not?
"She's adorable like this," you think to yourself as you plot how to wake her.
>It must be the holiday spirit because your inner child kicks into gear as you leap up onto the bed.
>Obviously the bed was made for a filly and not a human of your size so the legs give way as well as a few of the support beams.
>Then to add the trouble, the force sends Moonie rocketing up into the air and she must have woken mid-air because it's not until she begins to fall that she lets out a scream.
>Thankfully you were feeling pretty alert at the time because you caught her before something worse happened.
>You hold the trembling filly into your arms.
"M-Moonie?"
>She remains quiet for a moment, still shaking. Which only sends you into more of a panic.
>"CAN WE DO THAT AGAIN?!"
"What?"
>"Well, you broke mine so it'd have to be on yours but that was incredible," she cheers.
>There's still a shake in her voice so clearly the shock isn't totally out of her system, yet you can't help but laugh.
"I'm glad you're okay, now let's go open your presents."
>She makes a gasp as she realises, then leaps out of your arms. She flutters her wings a little bit before she hits the ground to brace her fall.

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO tfw no adorable brat to take ove (...).png, 158KiB, 832x700

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 Fri 25 Dec 2015 06:35:18 No.25878265 Report

Quoted By: >>25878279

>>25878256
>Then you feel a little silly for worrying so much, she probably could have done the same.
>But then again, you did scare the crap out of her so it's good that you did. Just to be safe and sure.
>All of a sudden, she scurries back into the room to grab Sir Bearington before scampering back out again.
>The poor bear has been getting an even rougher treatment then usual. One of his eyes has begun to fall out while the fur has become rough and shorter in some spots.
>Any reminders to take better care of him have clearly fallen on deaf ears.
>Moonie is already in the lounge room, hopping up and down as she waits for you.
>"Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on," she impatiently stammers.
"Alright, alright. You open one of yours," you answer as you take a seat.
>"To Moonie, From The Princesses. Best Wishes on this hearth's warming eve."
"You'll have to send a letter afterwards to thank them."
>She blows a quick raspberry at you in jest as she uses her magic she looks over the boxes then grabs the largest one, before tearing off all the paper at once.
>The box is plain, giving her no clue what's inside but the size about as large as her so she's ecstatic regardless.
>"It's," she excitedly says aloud as she opens the box, "WHAT?!"
>Her high pitched screaming echoes through the house as she dives into the boxes. There's metal clanging and rummaging while the boxes bumps around.
>Then a moment later she leaps out of the box with a beastly bellow of a roar in fully plated armour.
>You're a little impressed, it's really nicely crafted.
>They are royals with armoured guards, so you'd expect them to have a blacksmith but this looks nicer than the standard armour the guards get.
>The helmet is a little big, but the whole thing suits her well.
>"I AM INVINCIBLE," she cheers.
"This is going to be great," you sarcastically state.
>Moonie doesn't even hear you, she's too wrapped up in her armour.

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1371006600362.png, 480KiB, 1200x900

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 Fri 25 Dec 2015 06:36:47 No.25878279 Report

Quoted By: >>25878289

>>25878265
>She's pretending to be fighting something or someone, along with sound effects of swords clashing, blood spurts, and death.
"Alright, here, next gift. This is from me."
>The word "gift" breaks her from her fantasy world as she leaps for it.
>With her magic, she snatches it out of your hand and tears into it.
>Despite her eagerness, you find yourself doubting the gift. It's kind of hard to compete with a set of armour.
>Perhaps if she were a normal child, you might have a better chance. Then again, the Princesses will probably always be able to 1-up you in terms of gifts.
>You push the thought into the back of your mind, ignoring its echoes as you watch Moonie pull out her present.
>She pulls out all the tiny little logs of wood and screws with a bewildered look. Then she lifts up the piece of paper and stares at you before going over the contents of the pages.
>As Moonie reads over it, her eyes slowly widen and the devilish grin on her face grows until the point where it looks painful.
>"YOU GOT ME TINY SIEGE WEAPONS?!"
"You get anyone in the eye or something, even once, and you've lost them for good."
>"YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!"
>She swoops over to you to hastily wrap your neck up in a hug then darts back to her gift. Just before she gets invested in setting them up, you clear your throat.
>"Oh, yeah... These are yours I guess. The card is from me and the box is from Sir Bearington."
>You loose a smile at her remark. After all this time that the two of you have spent together, she still has moments where she can't really express her feelings to you.
"Thank you Sir Bearington, and you too Moonie."
>You open the card first, making sure to find the right balance between normal and careful.
>Knowing Moonie she would put some kind of surprise in there but you don't want her to catch on that you can be pretty jumpy when she's involved.

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1393882664494.png, 1MiB, 993x921

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 Fri 25 Dec 2015 06:37:51 No.25878289 Report

Quoted By: >>25878298

>>25878279
>The card reads:

To my third in command, Anon,

Happy Hearth's Warming Eve.

Sincerely,
Your queen, Moonie, and your superior officer, Sir Bearington.

>On the other page of the card, there's a little drawing of the three of you standing atop a castle that's the size of half the planet with a caption that's then scribbled out, "I could rule the world, if you just let me."
>You give her a smile and she beams back.
>"Did you like the drawing?"
"It was very nice. Th--"
>"And the reminder?"
"What reminder?"
>"That I'm your queen."
"Well, I never forgot that," you reply with a chuckle as you set the card beside you.
>"That's good. I wasn't sure because you kind of forgot because you don't refer to me like that any more."
"I'll try to remember more often then."
>"Good. You should."
>You lift up the gift and are about to open it when Moonie is still gazing at you expectantly.
"You know, my queen, I am king of this castle. Perhaps you should remember to address me as such."
>"This isn't a castle."
"Human tradition. This counts as a castle and as the owner, I am king."
>"You're making that up."
"Excuse me?"
>"I said, you're making that up," she repeats a little louder.
"Is someone addressing me?"
>You pretend to be looking around the room until Moonie gives a groan.
>"Where is your throne, sire?"
"I prefer, 'your grace.' Sounds catchier."
>"Your grace."
"Yeah, what do you want my queen?"
>Moonie just groans in frustration as she pushes the box sitting in your hands to fly into the air.
>You catch it quickly, then poke your tongue at the cheeky filly who mimics you.
>Once you've ripped open the packaging you find a clay mug inside.
>It seems rather poorly made, it was clearly done by a novice as it's somewhat misshapen. The inside is about the size of Moonie's hoof and there's even a hoofprint inside. The handle vaguely looks like a tentacle but the painting is quite nice.

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Screen shot 2014-04-25 at 10.30. (...).png, 686KiB, 700x524

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 Fri 25 Dec 2015 06:38:55 No.25878298 Report

Quoted By: >>25878334 >>25878686 >>25880075 >>25880665

>>25878289
>The painting on it is of you and Moonie, with ponies bowing on either side. In a way, it almost reminds you of the ancient Greek or Egyptian vases that depicted gods, stories, and other things on them.
"Thank you, this is really nice."
>"R-Really?"
"Yeah. I needed a new mug after you broke the last one after all."
>"I know," she says in a rather know-it-all manner.
>The thought occurs to you that she might have done that for this reason, but you haven't really got a way to prove that. Besides, it's just a mug.
"That last present, it's for Sir Bearington."
>Moonie curiously looks at you then the present.
>She's not as enthusiastic about opening this one but she doesn't exactly waste time tearing in.
>Using her magic, she lifts it up to reveal an eye patch.
>Honestly, you're getting a little sick of patching up that bear's button eyes. You never thought you'd get so good at sewing but it's always getting torn or falling apart.
>You figure an eye patch would mean only one eye to worry about, plus she'd probably get a kick out of a more rutheless look.
>She sticks it on Sir Bearington immediately, then gives a nod of approval.
>"Here, I'll stitch it on so it won't fall off all the time."
>She hands you the bear for you to sew up while she tries to assemble her siege weapons.
>As you stitch away, you look over the room.
>Really, this holiday is more or less the same as Christmas. Which is nice and helps you feel a little less homesick around this time of year.
>For the most part you're over the idea of going home anyway, you've been here too long for this place to be anything else but home to you.
>You like it here, a lot.
>And nice to not be spending "Christmas" alone.

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO You think the night is your ally (...).png, 1MiB, 895x1480

8th-Sin !!2Vh7DRNBOo4 Fri 25 Dec 2015 06:43:27 No.25878334 Report

Quoted By:

>>25878298
I nearly forgot the pastebin link, http://pastebin.com/eskAy3Yg
For more Moonie, here's the shorts paste: http://pastebin.com/5WWqvqra

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 25 Dec 2015 07:22:53 No.25878629 Report

Quoted By: >>25879678

>>25872746

Eh, was more serious than that.
And yeah, cruser was such a little piss, especially when it came to that traveler nonsense. No idea how Picard put up with him, even if he did know his dead dad.

Also...new Moonie? This pleases me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 07:30:18 No.25878686 Report

Quoted By: >>25878758

>>25878298
Are they going to rut?

Tell me they're going to rut.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 07:39:53 No.25878758 Report

Quoted By:

>>25878686
You're fucking gay.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 144KiB, 900x506

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 08:14:30 No.25879049 Report

Quoted By: >>25879167 >>25879261 >>25879342 >>25880086

>>25878256
How are Anons ok with this? It's literally a fanfic with >an arrow between every sentence

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 08:30:04 No.25879167 Report

Quoted By:

>>25879049

...have you never read a greentext story before?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 08:43:22 No.25879261 Report

Quoted By:

>>25879049
Hahahahaha oh wow.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 08:55:21 No.25879342 Report

Quoted By:

>>25879049
Why don't you give us a present for Christmas, and quietly fuck off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 09:58:35 No.25879678 Report

Quoted By: >>25881718

>>25878629
The hot incest threesomes with his mom kept Picard boldly going all night long.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 11:56:10 No.25880075 Report

Quoted By: >>25880173

>>25878298
>>The painting on it is of you and Moonie, with ponies bowing on either side. In a way, it almost reminds you of the ancient Greek or Egyptian vases that depicted gods, stories, and other things on them.
Perfect gift is perfect

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 11:58:17 No.25880086 Report

Quoted By:

>>25879049
>It's literally a fanfic with >an arrow between every sentence
Yes. That is an accurate description of the typical Anonymous in Equestria story.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 12:22:20 No.25880173 Report

Quoted By:

>>25880075
The perfect gift would have been a blow job or a voucher for a free blowjob at the local whore house.

FartAnon !!tOtILtqruNK

FartAnon !!tOtILtqruNK Fri 25 Dec 2015 13:44:08 No.25880466 Report

Quoted By: >>25880475 >>25880618

It's smelling a lot like Christmas around here.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 21965.png, 409KiB, 687x1288

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 13:47:20 No.25880475 Report

Quoted By: >>25880496 >>25880618

>>25880466
Yule be regretting sitting around roasting chestnuts with Twilight Fartle nearby.

FartAnon !!tOtILtqruNK

FartAnon !!tOtILtqruNK Fri 25 Dec 2015 13:53:15 No.25880496 Report

Quoted By: >>25880618

>>25880475
Oh God, Spike's life is a miserable existence.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 14:29:16 No.25880618 Report

Quoted By: >>25880971 >>25881039

>>25880466
>>25880475
>>25880496
Always makes me think of this: http://pastebin.com/Vt1qUpJP

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER.png, 119KiB, 324x285

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 14:40:15 No.25880665 Report

Quoted By:

>>25878298

Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn

Fapman !!q/8pd+yX2Hn Fri 25 Dec 2015 15:12:42 No.25880793 Report

Quoted By: >>25880826

>>25877801
Oh, jesus, give my sides back!

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 15:18:47 No.25880826 Report

Quoted By:

>>25880793
Ask Santa for them. Jeebus shouldn't have to work on his birthday.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 15:55:46 No.25880971 Report

Quoted By: >>25881039

>>25880618
More 4pone when?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:05:59 No.25881026 Report

Quoted By: >>25881119 >>25881159

>>25860512
Today on He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria!

>It's Nightmare Night, such a wonderful time of year. Even if hardly anypony recognises your costumes.
>Even more wonderful is that you know Anon won't show up as He-Anon
>He told you about costume parties in his home dimension and how he hated the idea of wearing the same costume to each one
>Speaking of Anon there he is now
>Hmm he's wearing a hooded cape and a blue loincloth
>Maybe loincloths have a special meaning to his kind beyond this He-Anon business
>He's also painted himself blue and is holding a staff with a Ram skull on top of it.
>You hope it's not real, no Anon is odd but he's not that crazy
>Anon turns and you can see his face, he's wearing some sort of skull mask
>Ah that must be it, he's dressed as some sort of human ghost skeleton
>Anon spots a group of fillies and foals and throws a silver orb at them, it starts emitting green gas, they scatter away from it
>OH NO! Has Anon finally flipped, is it poison? Then the smell of rotten eggs hits you. Stink bombs. Very funny Anon
>"AHAHAHAHAHA! SMELL THE WRATH OF SKELETOR!"
>Skeletor? That sounds familiar. Isn't that the name he al- OH CELESTIA NO!
>"SOON I SHALL RULE ETERNIA AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME! AHAHAHAHAHA"
>"Not so fast Skeletor!"
>What?
>"WHO DARES!"
>"BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL! WE HAVE THE POOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWEEEEEERRRR!"
>Who the buck? Wait. The Cutie Mark Crusaders? How the buck? Oh butter-puddles, Anon has corrupted their little minds.
>There they are in little loincloths with little swords, oh no.
>"WHAT? THREE HE-MANS?"
>"You will never rule Eternia Skeletor" shouts Scootaloo
>"You may have me outnumbered today He-Man but I'll be back. One day Eternia will be mine. I WILL RETURN!"
>Oh thank Luna it's over. Anon is leaving
>"COME BATTLE SCOOTER!" shouts Applebloom
>The CMCs jump onto their Scooter Trailer combo and take off after Anon
>You can feel how scrunched up your face is
>"Some day I'm going to buck you right in the head Anon."

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:08:22 No.25881039 Report

Quoted By: >>25881160

>>25880618
>>25880971
>BackgroundPony: Are you that purple unicorn that farts when she gets hit on by stallions?
>BlackMagicMare: HOW DARE YOU, SOME RANDOM POSTER ON THE PONYNET, CONFUSE THE GREAT AND POWERrrr uh, no. My coat is a powdery blue.
>BackgroundPony: Oh yeah. You were pretty cute until you started talking.
>BlackMagicMare: Y-you too.
>Sunlover: I DON'T ALWAYS FART WHEN THAT HAPPENS >:(((((

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Fuck you Skeletor nobody likes you.png, 83KiB, 256x256

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:24:24 No.25881119 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881026

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1052458__solo_applejack_suggesti (...).jpg, 3MiB, 3000x4500

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:28:12 No.25881142 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:31:22 No.25881159 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881026
>Today on He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria!
Best show on TV

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:31:22 No.25881160 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881039
Perfect.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:38:55 No.25881205 Report

Quoted By:

MERRY NEW THREAD
fags
>>25881197
>>25881197

Gatorbait

Gatorbait Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:44:04 No.25881229 Report

Quoted By: >>25881243

Merry Christmas, Faggos.

Christmas hangout.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 774952__safe_solo_princess+celes (...).png, 329KiB, 1000x750

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:47:42 No.25881243 Report

Quoted By: >>25881249

>>25881229
Why are you the only person on the planet who writes about humans knocking up ponies? There needs to be more of that.

Gatorbait

Gatorbait Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:49:12 No.25881249 Report

Quoted By: >>25881267 >>25881293 >>25881296 >>25881447

>>25881243
Because impreg is a fetish of mine and I want to put foals and/or little monsters in a whole lot of ponies.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO peaceful skeleton realm attacked (...).png, 1MiB, 4000x2500

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:51:55 No.25881267 Report

Quoted By: >>25881315

>>25881249
Shit's hot and cute. Shame's there is so little of it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:57:16 No.25881293 Report

Quoted By: >>25881315

>>25881249
This is a completely acceptable fetish, and a worthy goal. Write moar, good horsefucker.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1441245415543.jpg, 602KiB, 3049x3819

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 16:57:35 No.25881296 Report

Quoted By: >>25881315

>>25881249

Gatorbait

Gatorbait Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:01:23 No.25881315 Report

Quoted By: >>25881330 >>25881376 >>25881387 >>25881401

>>25881267
I enjoy it, but realize some people can't make the leap from wanting to have sex with colorful equines to settling down with one and having a family. I don't get why you wouldn't want to go whole hog, but I realize it.
>>25881293
Babymaking a great.
>>25881296
That's a hefty horse.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:04:57 No.25881330 Report

Quoted By: >>25881413

>>25881315
>Babymaking a great. Babyraising not so much.
>Ergo, preg is top tier fantasy fetish
Elaborated that for you.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO satyr bearing hips.jpg, 119KiB, 905x1280

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:13:56 No.25881376 Report

Quoted By: >>25881413

>>25881315
I hear ya.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 913867__safe_solo_rarity_upvotes (...).png, 713KiB, 750x750

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:16:44 No.25881387 Report

Quoted By: >>25881413

>>25881315
>That's a hefty horse.
Best part of raripreg is you know that with how much she cares about her looks, she's gonna work that pregfat right back off once the baby is out just in time for you to put the next one in the oven. Each cycle leaves her a bit less determined to restore her figure, until eventually she stops fighting it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:19:29 No.25881401 Report

Quoted By: >>25881413 >>25881496

>>25881315

Here, have something I wrote in a Sunbutt thread two years ago.

>it was a cold day
>you and Sunbutt have been on a diplomatic visit to the Griffin Kingdoms
>you're at one of the Griffin King's "hunting cabins"
>it is, of course, a good-sized castle
>way, way up in the Ironfang Mountains
>in the middle of the coldest December in living memory
>your immortal sun goddess bride calls to you from beneath a mountain of quilts and blankets
>her voice is muffled
>"Come join me, Anon. It's actually warm in here."
"You don't have to call me twice."
>and you tighten the belt around your camouflage pajamas (a gift from the King)
>and tiptoe rapidly across the cold, cold stone floor in the matching set of slippers that came with it
>carefully roll up one edge of the neat stack of covers and scoot inside
>ah, it IS warm
>finally
>you've both been freezing your asses off all day in a drafty stone castle, listening to King Gordon tell hunting stories
>you feel her hooves on your shoulders
>and she kisses the back of your neck
"My beautiful Sunbutt, without you there'd be no warmth in my life."
>she chuckles
>and you turn to face her in the darkness, under the quilts
>and gently rub her pregnant belly
>she sighs happily
>life is good

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO large.jpg, 250KiB, 1167x1024

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:21:55 No.25881412 Report

Quoted By:

>>25863986
Ponks in braces probably.
Didn't overthink/overdo it—at least not consciously so—which seems impossible to avoid these days.
That or angsty Luna, although that's literally the opposite of the above-mentioned.

Gatorbait

Gatorbait Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:22:32 No.25881413 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881330
Oh no, that I get that people don't like the afterward.
That connection just isn't the same for me though.
>>25881376
A good pon to pound.
>>25881387
Nice, pretty unf worthy.
>>25881401
And that's just sweet.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:26:23 No.25881440 Report

Quoted By:

Merry Christmas fellow fetisheers.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:27:38 No.25881447 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881249
pregnancy a shit
Babies are disgusting

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:29:46 No.25881475 Report

Quoted By: >>25881498 >>25881562

All of the writefags. Show us your tits.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:31:24 No.25881496 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881401
I want camo pajamas too. And pregnant Celestia.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1431092720168.jpg, 70KiB, 900x631

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:31:43 No.25881498 Report

Quoted By: >>25881514

>>25881475
b-but that's lewd

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:33:31 No.25881514 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881498
I need hairy man boobs.
Don't ask me why, but it's very important.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 71833.ngsversion.1422284732437.a (...).jpg, 32KiB, 768x510

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:39:13 No.25881562 Report

Quoted By: >>25881592

>>25881475
>All of the writefags. Show us your tits.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:42:38 No.25881592 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881562
There we go. More you lewd bastard.

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 25 Dec 2015 17:58:58 No.25881718 Report

Quoted By: >>25881803

>>25879678

God I hope not...I bet Wesley would talk the whole damn time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 18:12:50 No.25881803 Report

Quoted By:

>>25881718
Don't worry. His mouth was full.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO df282f6744e567745449b9cfaf862554.jpg, 3MiB, 1870x1825

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 18:14:54 No.25881823 Report

Quoted By:

Horse a comfy

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO c-c-cute.gif, 237KiB, 242x242

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 18:32:05 No.25881954 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 678078__safe_rainbow+dash_flutte (...).png, 57KiB, 700x700

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 18:38:50 No.25882017 Report

Quoted By: >>25882033

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 9e9a010951ae1dd623a9cd4d61856701.jpg, 709KiB, 1758x2198

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 18:40:56 No.25882033 Report

Quoted By:

>>25882017
>bird horses

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 602c2668fd8849b1a8a4b70f3112ed2e.jpg, 104KiB, 900x900

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:02:35 No.25882218 Report

Quoted By: >>25882270 >>25882776

slow /page 10/ today

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:08:04 No.25882270 Report

Quoted By: >>25882279

>>25882218
Not enough writers showing tits either. I'm going to have my legs broke by some very angry Russian gangsters.

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:09:13 No.25882279 Report

Quoted By: >>25882304

>>25882270

Eh, I prefer butts.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:11:52 No.25882304 Report

Quoted By:

>>25882279
I prefer anything I can put my seed onto. I get very tired.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1395359587768.png, 182KiB, 680x408

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:13:33 No.25882322 Report

Quoted By: >>25882342 >>25882776

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:15:17 No.25882342 Report

Quoted By: >>25882350

>>25882322
She's a wet horse.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1424443602907.png, 669KiB, 1814x1754

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:15:56 No.25882350 Report

Quoted By: >>25882776

>>25882342

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:28:54 No.25882462 Report

Quoted By: >>25882490 >>25882664

Page 11?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO aw shit nigga.gif, 1MiB, 320x388

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:32:54 No.25882490 Report

Quoted By: >>25882507 >>25882664

>>25882462
Christmas magic!

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:34:23 No.25882507 Report

Quoted By: >>25882572

>>25882490
Fuck you and your Christmas magic Pinkie. Let the dead stay dead.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:41:26 No.25882572 Report

Quoted By:

>>25882507
no

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 82d8c274342639af778497f2a97ee1bf.png, 135KiB, 384x516

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:41:46 No.25882577 Report

Quoted By: >>25882776

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO I've seen some muffins man.png, 143KiB, 600x430

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:43:15 No.25882587 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 7bf316fd1cbacf1c9e864383237751e3.png, 436KiB, 1024x1571

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:48:46 No.25882646 Report

Quoted By: >>25882776

Gatorbait

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1383740253833.jpg, 259KiB, 1728x1780

Gatorbait Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:51:46 No.25882664 Report

Quoted By:

>>25882462
>>25882490
It's a Christmas Miracle!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1416275849191.png, 516KiB, 831x627

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:53:04 No.25882677 Report

Quoted By:

Gatorbait

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1443726053973.jpg, 51KiB, 600x430

Gatorbait Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:54:03 No.25882686 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO mm mm good.png, 113KiB, 910x630

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 19:54:52 No.25882697 Report

Quoted By: >>25882776

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 25 Dec 2015 20:03:39 No.25882776 Report

Quoted By:

>>25882697
>>25882646
>>25882577
>>25882350
>>25882322
>>25882218
I woulda white horse.

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Anon in Equestria - Thread #1081 PiE Died Again Edition