/mlp/ - Pony » Thread #28995976

[519 / 106 / ?]

188KiB, 512x1024, large[1].jpg

Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1110 We need to stop having to make these at 6am edition.

Mandroid !b0nLshMElM Sun 04 Dec 2016 10:52:02 No.28995976 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>28997908 >>29015235 >>29036411 >>29044221

Last thread >>28898447

IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY

>rope's gay Thread Archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
Collection of AiE images: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ju8ygvv3n4fa0um/quC3vIooOq#/

Add for skype: sin.aie

>PiE corner
>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.
PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
PiE image archives: http://derpy.me/PiE_Pictures
Browser Pony Author List: http://pastebin.com/ZCGjtftk
Browser Pony image and story archive (cloud): http://derpy.me/BrowserPonies

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 11:02:17 No.28996002 Report

Quoted By: >>28996067 >>28997877 >>28998921

First for Pinkie Pie is worst pony

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 11:37:55 No.28996067 Report

Quoted By: >>28996550

>>28996002
What about Crotch Rot the pony who has venereal disease as her talent?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 15:07:11 No.28996550 Report

Quoted By: >>28996844

>>28996067
yo momma

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 16:25:20 No.28996844 Report

Quoted By:

>>28996550
But my mom is not a pony.
Just a really really fat human.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Imminent rape dance.gif, 549KiB, 508x508

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 17:24:56 No.28997095 Report

Quoted By: >>28997137 >>28999496 >>29004494

There's this lovely place by Ghastly Gorge that she wants to take you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 17:33:34 No.28997137 Report

Quoted By:

>>28997095
You mean Anon has to explore her Ghastly Gorge if he ever wants to see Earth again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 19:54:08 No.28997769 Report

Quoted By: >>28997788 >>29020295

>Pony knows about that thing you did, that really bad thing you don't want anyone to know you did.
>What do?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 19:56:38 No.28997788 Report

Quoted By: >>28997867

>>28997769
Send the pony disgusting pictures of what I did because I have no shame.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 20:07:39 No.28997867 Report

Quoted By:

>>28997788
>She is aroused and starts stalking you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 20:08:55 No.28997877 Report

Quoted By:

>>28996002
That's not how you spell Starlight Glimmer, silly.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 20:15:04 No.28997908 Report

Quoted By: >>28998042 >>28998111

>>28995976
What happened to this place? Where did everyone go?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 20:39:50 No.28998042 Report

Quoted By:

>>28997908
They drank the magic bleach.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 20:50:21 No.28998111 Report

Quoted By: >>28998156 >>28999610

>>28997908
I sometimes wonder what happened with those who were here in the beginning, like... shit, I can hardly remember their names.
Aether was one, right? And then there's Bastinator, I think. And many more.

Do you think they all still visit sometimes as Anons?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 20:56:12 No.28998156 Report

Quoted By: >>29001385

>>28998111
>Aether
You feel her shit next to you for $12 dollars per 1k words.

There was Gadget, Bolding, NOF, Gatorbait. . .

Shit, now I'm forgetting them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 20:59:59 No.28998189 Report

Quoted By:

4chin working again?

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria Sun 04 Dec 2016 22:58:00 No.28998876 Report

Quoted By: >>29035472

>Pinkie Pride

>Another day, another... bit.
>Though it can get a bit dull manning your stall all morning.
>Pony watching is not the most interesting thing in the world.
>Speaking of. There's a weird one.
>Poncho and cowboy hat, kind of squinting like Clint Eastwood too.
>Must be one of Applejack's relatives.
>The poncho pony stops at your stall, finally a customer.
>"Get three cupcakes ready."
>You what?
>"I sell fire logs. The bakery is on the other side of town."
>He ignores you and walks off. Still squinting.

>Simple Ways

>Not sure why you let Twilight talk you into coming here yet again.
>The Hayburger is... very hay based with its menu.
>And so your options are limited to salad with no hay.
>Twilight however can really put those burgers away.
>But again they're hay in a bun, it's not quite the same weight as a pound of beef.
>"Sorry Anon, sometimes I get up in a book and forget breakfast."
>"No worries."
>The hell is that outside?
>"Twilight. Why is Rarity dressed like an Apple?"
>"An apple? Don't be silly Anon, Rarity wou- Oh you don't mean the fruit."
>"Well? Any ideas?"
>"She may have a little crush on someone. Please don't tell Spike."
>If Rarity has a crush on Big Mac you're pretty sure Spike is gonna find out.
>And you're not looking forward to the catfight with Cheerilee.

http://pastebin.com/LsRTPhwb

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 04 Dec 2016 23:06:02 No.28998921 Report

Quoted By:

>>28996002
die

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 334593459345.jpg, 191KiB, 800x960

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 00:35:46 No.28999496 Report

Quoted By: >>28999653

>>28997095
What did she mean by this?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Netherpony.jpg, 22KiB, 288x344

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 00:50:01 No.28999610 Report

Quoted By: >>28999628 >>29000616

>>28998111

>Do you think they all still visit sometimes as Anons?

I hope they do. Hey, Nether! Pic related!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO b-ball jesus.png, 388KiB, 288x344

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 00:52:27 No.28999628 Report

Quoted By: >>28999663

>>28999610

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO bad ideas mare.png, 403KiB, 469x611

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 00:55:17 No.28999653 Report

Quoted By:

>>28999496

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Muffins Pls.png, 374KiB, 875x1509

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 00:57:22 No.28999663 Report

Quoted By: >>28999911 >>29002588

>>28999628

...people actually care about those?

I always cared more about replies in the threads.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 01:41:33 No.28999911 Report

Quoted By:

>>28999663
yep

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 02:45:12 No.29000335 Report

Quoted By: >>29000397

Pinkie Pie challenges Jokester Anon to a Goof Off.

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pink_wrongthread.gif, 1MiB, 510x510

Handsome Jew Mon 05 Dec 2016 02:55:24 No.29000397 Report

Quoted By: >>29000625

>>29000335
>Pinkie has just finished a grandiose routine of silliness, one that has apparently left the crowd's mouths agape in wonder.
>She turns to anon, expecting a feeble challenge, but instead discovers the true reason for the crowd's hush. He appears to be vigorously masturbating while staring intently at a deeply conflicted Rainbow Dash.
>"Anon... What are you doing?"
"Beating you at your own game. We're in a-"
>"A GOOF off, Anon! Not a-"
"I'm not stopping."

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Are+You+This+Anon.png, 217KiB, 940x1032

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 03:38:02 No.29000616 Report

Quoted By:

>>28999610
For you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 03:39:47 No.29000625 Report

Quoted By:

>>29000397
Kek

Slamnonymous

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 04:22:40 No.29000870 Report

Quoted By: >>29001009

It looks like the prison thread is kill.
Guess I better dump my art and green so far.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Mon 05 Dec 2016 04:53:53 No.29001009 Report

Quoted By: >>29001013

>>29000870
You pony prison guys are all welcome to come hang out with us here.

crosspostan some things
>>29000067
>>29000087
>Be Anon in Equestria.
>At home in bed.
>You are now awake.
>Because there is some sort of loud shouting coming from outside
>You go and open your front door to see what is going on
>"DOWN WITH FETISHISM!"
>There are lots of ponies with signs that are chanting and shouting.
>The signs say things like "Femdom killed my sister" "Celestia hates fetishists" "Behead those who fetishise violence" "Make war not love" "Cock worship is a sin"
>At the front of the crowd is a very familiar yellow pegasus.
>"Um... What do we want?"
>"NO FETISHES!"
>Fluttershy sees you and comes over to talk to you.
>"Good morning Anon, is hating fetishes your fetish?"
>You just got a boner.
"I hate myself so much right now."
>Fluttershy smiles.
>"So do I Anon, so do I."

>Anon is in cloud bar.
>Lightning meets Rainbow as she and Anon are leaving to go get sum fuk.
>Rainbow demands a rematch over who is worthy of the top cunt hat.
>Anon must judge.
>Top cunt refers to she who can fly the highest.
>Rainbow and lightning are fighting over who is the better flyer.
>Anon is being denied his sum fuk because of this.
>Luna comes down from the moon, takes the hat, and fucks Anon right in the pussy.
>"Didst thous ponelets really think thy meager altitudes were worthy of behatment? Gaze upon our superior form and weep at your inadequacy."
>Bottom cunt goes to the best miner.
>Earth pony version of top cunt.

>Anon in submarinequestria.
>Anon has to live in the submarine-ponies.
>This is extremely sexual to them.
>There is no land.
>Just sapient watercraft who get off on having a crew.
>"Oh YES ANON! Sleep in my quarters! OH CELESTIA THAT'S GOOD!"
>Battles for anon between mares that wants to experience that for the first time in their lives.
>Even the boy ships want Anon inside them.
>Bombshell is a full of mines and torpedoes sub.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Mon 05 Dec 2016 04:54:34 No.29001013 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001009
more

>Vulva inspection day.
>Like penis inspection day but RGR.
>Anon is a gym teacher.
>Anon's job in the inspection is to ensure there is enough shame for those who are not up to snatch.
>He sits in the gymnasium's seating whatsit, you know those stepped seats like statiums have? that. and judges.
>Not like a judge.
>He does not rate them.
>He judges in the sense that you are ashamed that you do not meet his standards and you know you should be doing better.
>What would your poor old grandfather think of you?
>If he saw you like this it would kill him.
>Can you even stand to go home after this?
>So much shame.
>There are many things to be ashamed of.
>Vagina too small.
>Clitoris not winking deep enough.
>Flappy bits being too flappy.
>Horsecunt wrinkles being more like grandma wrinkles.
>Perenium too short.
>Is it still called a frenulum on females? That being either too short or too tall.
>Still have your virginity at 16.
>Improper wiping.
>That one kills your grandpa right then and there from the overwhelming shame.
>He can feel it from the other side of the country.

>Everything goes in their permanant record.
>Their future employers will know their failings.

>If they aren't up to snuff Anon gives them the floppy dildo of shame
>It functions as a hat too.
>It has "DUNCE" written in blue permanent marker ink.
"This is the closest to a real dick you're ever going to manage. Sorry kid."

>This is still better than some of the alternatives.
>The chastity belt of the worst. A vagina so bad they aren't ever allowed to breed.
>To enhance the shame they feel and the anxiety of possible failuree, those who fail badly are belted.
>That is, they have a chastity belt locked on them so that they can not breed and nopony else has to see their horrific excuse for a vulva.

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO rar_disgusted.png, 423KiB, 680x850

Handsome Jew Mon 05 Dec 2016 05:18:07 No.29001111 Report

Quoted By: >>29001115 >>29001284 >>29002078 >>29005530 >>29009840 >>29013568 >>29014327 >>29022071 >>29022647 >>29040270

>There are anons browsing RIGHT NOW that have never even attempted to write green.

What do you have to say for yourselves? Why not make some contributions rather than shamelessly bump threads?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 05:19:34 No.29001115 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001111
Everything I would write would involve extreme autism and fetishes that only pathetic permavirgins would entertain.
You really do not want to read the kind of stuff that I would write.

Nice numbers though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 05:59:33 No.29001284 Report

Quoted By: >>29001359 >>29012632

>>29001111
>”ANON GET YOUR FUCKING HEAD DOWN!” Commander Johnson yelled as mortar shake the earth around you with concussive bangs
>You dive head first into a nearby fox whole with the commander and a dead solder
>Landing in the fox hole with your legs sticking out you quickly pull them in and, Swivel yourself up right.
>Laying up hill in the hole you and Commander johnson buckle down and pull the fallen solder over you who was shredded by shrapnel
>you start crying and begging god that a mortar does not land next to you.

>Pinky Pie Invited(more like ordered) you to the “Come welcome Anon to ponyville” party at the town hall.
>Over Half the town was going to be there at the party to welcome you.
>You were constantly reassured it was going to be nothing but fun and smiles.
>You agree to go to the party begrudgingly after her begging you for an hour.
>You think she was also threatening you with cupcakes from what you could tell.
>And when you entered the town hall from what you saw it was going to be awesome.
>Over half the town did show up to see you.
>You were pleasantly surprised by the crowed intel the first cannon went off.
>Then Qu 20 minutes of you flipping out after 20 cannons went off one after another under the floor boards shaking the ground.
>According to lovely Fluttershy you sprint jumped onto a table making a pair of its legs on one side collapse causing all the food and dishes to slide off.
>Then you grabbed a split up Cake In the shape of a Small Human filled with red frosting, and hid under it.
>Then while holding it over you, as you cowed against the table and started crying, yelling obscenities and “HELP ME JESUS!”.
>All while covered in Streamers and confetti.

Happy now jew? Is this what (you) whanted? Me using the word you 1000 times must annoy (you). Any ways got some constructive criticism?

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Mon 05 Dec 2016 06:15:51 No.29001359 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001284
I mean, aside from the grammar mistakes, it's not bad for a one-off. It's my firm belief that anyone can be a decent writer, even professional, if they just learn their grammar and give it a shot.

Although you probably should've used a transition sentence for such a big jump in setting.

Silver_Smoulder

Silver_Smoulder Mon 05 Dec 2016 06:21:20 No.29001385 Report

Quoted By: >>29002998

>>28998156

Does anybody have a screencap of that?

Or a that collage of all of our symbols?

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:12:03 No.29001578 Report

Quoted By: >>29001581

>"All right Anon, are you ready?"
"Yes. This... well, this is amazing, Twilight."
>The purple princess pony smiles at you, the warm light of the sun glinting on her coat.
>Gods above she's so pretty.
>The corners of your mouth involuntarily twitch up.
>"I know you're excited. Think about it, this will be the first controlled trans-planar psychic dsiplacement spell!"
>You shake your head.
>This fucking nerd.
"No, Twilight. That's not what I'm smiling. Well, er, that is to say, yes, I am excited, but that's not the reason I'm smiling right now."
>"Oh, why is that?"
"You're a very pretty mare."
>She turns beet red immediately and sticks her head under her wing turning slightly away from you.
>"muffle muffle"
>You hold your hand out to your ear in an exaggerated motion and waggle your fingers.
"I'm sorry, what was that Princess Twilight? I said that you are very pretty but I cannot hear your response to the fact that I said that you're very pretty!"
>She sticks her head back out and stares daggers at you.
>"You know, I can always NOT cast the spell."
>You roll your eyes and cross your fingers.
"Oh please. As though you could resist the idea of getting your hand on some alien knowledge."
>She rolls her head side to side, smirks, and jumps off at the ground, wrapping her forelegs around your neck.
>Your nose is buried in her fluff.
>She's so soft and smells so wonderful.
>Just like lavender.
>And she became much lighter since she ascended - before you actually had to exert some effort to lift her - she weighed about fifty pounds? Now she weighs 30 at best.
>So it's just like holding a very light weight that smells great and is hugging you.
>You return the hug, squeezing her firmly but not too tightly.
>Don't want to bruise her.
>A couple of moments pass.
>Well, your heart tells you it was a couple of moments.
>The cold part of you remarks that the minute hand moved about 5 ticks down.
>She slowly lets her hooves go and you gently squat and lower her down.

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:13:05 No.29001581 Report

Quoted By: >>29001584 >>29001587

>>29001578
>LIGHTWEIGHT BABY
>She takes a step back and looks you up and down.
>"I have to say Mister Anonymous, you're pretty good looking too."
"Y-you too."
>Smooth.
>Suddenly she rears on her hind legs, gives a big ol' beaming smile, and clops her hooves together.
>"All right, well! Time for the big event. Are you ready?"
>You set your jaw and nod firmly.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
>Her horn glows and suddenly the floor of the castle starts glowing in geometric patterns, and then in a flash, there is a super-complicated arcane circle.
>Like, you've seen her do these before, and you thought they looked like filigree then.
>This?
>If those were filigree, this is like some molecular shit or something.
>You let out a low whistle.
"I'm impressed, Your Purple Majesty. I've never seen anything like this."
>She gives another bright smile.
>"Hey, I didn't get these wings and this knowledge by collecting stamps. All right - now go and sit in the center."
>You oblige and sit down in the center of the circle which happens to be entirely empty.
>She floats over a pile of rocks and places them to your left.
>She explained that those will be the counterweight to what the two of you will be taking from Earth.
>Unfortunately for you, it can only be alchemically inert matter.
>Then again...
>You're not sure you want to come back.
>You do however pull a thick wad of papers out of your pocket.
>They're sealed and have your old address on them.
>You didn't have any Earth postage - you're not even sure the spell would even target your home country - so you taped a bunch of gemstones to it that you "borrowed" from Rarity.
>You put it down on the pile of rocks and notice Twilight looking.
>Her eyes are glimmering with tears.
>You stretch from your position and gently touch her on the muzzle.
>She presses herself against your hand.
"Hey, hey. I told you. I found the best thing ever here. My entire life and world was on one end of the scale. You were on the other. Guess which won?"

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:14:09 No.29001584 Report

Quoted By: >>29001592

>>29001581
>She closes her eyes and you begin scratching her under her chin before reaching over and giving her a quick peck on the lips.
>And just as fast the kiss is broken and she steps back.
>"O-okay. Now clear your mind."
>You sit back and focus on emptying your mind, just like you taught Twilight.
>Apparently you knew of a meditation technique that just blows all pony meditation techniques out of the water.
>You imagine that your mind is an empty void and there is a small flame inside the void.
>You begin feeding your worries, your pains, your aches, your concerns, your thoughts - everything goes into the fire which is growing bigger and bigger but the void is still there bigger than the fire still.
>You feel your body go entirely still and your heartbeat slow.
>There is nothing but the Flame and the Void.
>Off in the metaphorical distance you see Twilight rise up into the air, her magic suffusing her, and reaching out towards you and the circle.
>You remark that the rocks are glowing red, and the space opposite of you and the rocks is glowing blue.
>You yourself are actually absorbing the light of the circle, further corroborating Twilight's idea that you're some kind of magic void.
>Which is why Twilight is using your thought patterns to smash through dimensions like a lead bullet, grab a hold of some inorganic matter from Earth, and then seal the wound before reality had a chance to notice.
>Immediately you start thinking of knowledge.
>Except this cannot go into the Flame.
>You keep it at the forefront of your mind.
>The light gets brighter and brighter.
>Suddenly there is a wrenching sensation.
>It's almost like a pang when you have diarrhea - the sensation of a stabbing pain in your abdomen - but many times worse.
>The Flame and Void shatter, as the pain overwhelms your senses.
"Yyyeaaargh!!"
>"NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONO!"
>The last thing you feel is Twilight slamming into you, pushing you out of the spell.
>Then all is darkness.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:14:24 No.29001587 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001581
kek.

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:15:46 No.29001592 Report

Quoted By: >>29001597

>>29001584
Almost immediately, you wake up.
>You're lying against one of the walls of the castle, Twilight is sprawled across your lap, horn smoking.
>Immediately, you reach out and check her pulse.
>Oh thank the gods.
>She's still alive.
>You start to exhale loudly - and then wince.
>O...kay.
>You hope you didn't fuck up your rib.
>That would SUCK.
>You try to take a deep breath.
>Yep, hurts like the dickens.
>Well, you're no doctor, but you'll need to ask Nurse Redheart about that.
>You gently touch Twilight on the nose and feel her moist breath on your hand.
"Twilight? Twilight honey you need to wake up."
>Her ears perk up and twitch in your general direction.
>"It is I, Princess Twilight, spellcasting from my dome-shaped... dome in the Forbidden Zone. A zone... that is, yes... forbidden to you!"
"wat"
>She gives a shake of her head and winces.
>"Oh, Anon!"
>She throws her hooves around you and hugs you.
"Ow."
>You did not realize your voice could come out so high-pitched.
>She pulls her head back and looks at you quizzically.
"I uh. Think I may have broken something."
>She looks at you with concern and opens her mouth, then closes it, and nods.
>"You're right. I also feel a bit light-headed. That was some terrible feedback. I could have a concussion and you probably damaged your ribs or lungs or something. We should go now. Can you walk?"
>Pressing your back against the wall you slowly clamber to your feet.
>Your vision goes dizzy momentarily.
>You swallow and use your hands to stabilize yourself and take a small step, holding on to the wall.
"Yes I'm fine. Can you-"
>FUCK.
>YES.
"TWILIGHT! YOU DID IT!"

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:16:48 No.29001597 Report

Quoted By: >>29001601

>>29001592
>Her ears perk up once more.
>"Huh?"
>She turns her head towards the circle where you're pointing.
>A big pile of books is lying in the circle next to you, opposite of the rocks.
>Her eyes widen and she gasps.
>"Sweet Celestia, look at that! There must be like, 50 books there! Full of human knowledge, manuals, textbooks!"
>She tries to get up but her legs buckle beneath her.
>"Oh dear. Anon, I think... I think you'll need to carry me."
>You frown at her.
"Maybe we should call the doctor here? If you're injured can't I potentially do you more harm than good?"
>She shakes her head.
"Nnnno, I'm fairly sure I'll be okay if you carry me. Alicorns are a lot more durable, so it will heal on its own. I'd rather Nurse Redheart look at me anyway."
>You give a nod, squat down, and place your hands underneath her.
>Literally you marvel every time how soft she is.
>You engage your core and lift her up...
>She immediately nuzzles into your chest.
>Huh.
>You thought you'd be in a lot more pain.
>Maybe your ribs aren't broken, just bruised?
>Fingers crossed.
>Gingerly, you carry her out the castle.
>Almost immediately, you are stampeded by a herd of pastel ponies.
>Except you aren't actually.
>You always wondered at how they manage to make so much noise and move in such tight numbers and yet never trample anypony - or anyone - and yet how imposing it looks.
>Maybe an old defense mechanism?
>Rarity speaks up.
>"What happened? Oh look at the two of you? Were you practicing forbidden magics again?"
>Twilight scrunchyfaces at the white unicorn.
>"You summon one Nightmare aspect and suddenly that's all they can think of. No, Rarity, we tried doing a thing with Anon, and then it didn't work, but it actually did, except there's now an explosion."

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:17:50 No.29001601 Report

Quoted By: >>29001605

>>29001597
>The herd goes deathly silent.
>You can't facepalm but you close your eyes.
>Rarity slowly arches a well-manicured eyebrow.
>"I see. Darling. I may need to tell you about... hmm. Well, we'll talk about that later. I assume you were going to a hospital? Well, the ambulance is pulling right up."
>You open your mouth to protest, but suddenly it's full of hoof.
>"Now quit yer bellyaching Anon. I know y'all can trot on down there, but I think that'd be mighty foolish of you. Now git along to the ambulance."
>Applejack butts you in your stomach with her head, pressing you backwards into the vehicle.
>You sigh, turn around, and lay Twilight on one of the sretchers, then look at the other one dubiously.
>The EMT Pony, Pulse Pressure winces, and whistles for another gurney. They latch them together and you lie down on it.
>They push you into the ambulance, turn on the sirens, and the ponies start to canter off.
>The others start yelling their farewells.
>"Bye TwiNonny! We'll visit you in a bit!"
>"See y'all later!"
>"You better be okay, Anon, or I'll buck you in the ribs! And Twilight, you're an egghead and as fragile as one!"
>"I hope you feel better, Anonymous and Twilight."
>"Get well soon, dahlings."
>You take another shallow breath and close your eyes.
>Rest would be nice but...
"So Twilight. Are you excited?"
>She shifts next to you.
>"Anonymous. You have to understand. If they were to use me as a spell focus channeling my excitement, I could turn Equestria upside down. Can you IMAGINE?! Knowledge from beyond this world! You're nice and all, but you don't remember everything. We'll work out the kinks of this spell and cast it again and again until we can learn all we can!"
>Heh.
"Twilight, this is why I love you."
>You reach out and squeeze her hoof.
"Not the only reason, but definitely one of them."
>She stifles a small laugh.
"Though, I have to say, when you get this excited, I have to worry that you don't turn into Nightmare Sparkle."

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:18:52 No.29001605 Report

Quoted By: >>29001671 >>29001790

>>29001601

>She mutters something underneath her breath and starts to laugh.
>You join in but gently.
>You'll check on the books when they let you out.
>There's nothing to worry about.
>This day is going to be perfect.
>It's not like anything dangerous came through?
>They're just books.
>What's the worst that can happen?

-END PART I-
http://pastebin.com/kpXCZbqx

As always, comments, critique, complaints, and commendations are welcome!

Also how do you avoid these kinds of updates when the last "entry" is like maybe 300 characters?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 07:52:08 No.29001671 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001605
>ponys getting information on human advanced human weapons such as automatic guns and nukes.
>Inb4 equestria becomes Germany
oh anon you silly

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 08:39:46 No.29001790 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001605

>A copy of A Modest Proposal made it through.
>Ponies don't understand it's satire
>Scootaloo ends up hog tied with an apple in her mouth.

Applejack walks in and is angry big mac is getting a blowjob from another mare.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 11:12:37 No.29002078 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001111
>Secretly this anon himself has never contributed. No, instead this anon judges other people for making the same mistake.
Is this a green anon?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 14:20:05 No.29002588 Report

Quoted By: >>29002831

>>28999663
After the last chapter that lovelymuffins made with typos, and losing the only thing that made the story worthwhile (exploring how humans did magic differently) and replacing it with a generic love story was what made me write the story off as a loss.

How often do you guys talk about oldfags now? You guys used to flip out about it all the time. And now it's all gone.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 14:28:54 No.29002615 Report

Quoted By:

>Be Anon.
>In the Sanitarium.
>You never should have told Twilight about your divorce.
>They have you in solitary confinement because, "You are a danger to everypony around you."
>Stupid horses. You lived around them for years without a problem, but now they know you used to be married and that it didn't work out you're a monster.
>They do not have a therapy that could "cure" you.
>The best they can do is have the nurse give you a blowjob once a week with the idea that blowjobs fix everything.
>All they do is keep you from going crazy.
>Well, maybe not entirely.
>Maybe you'll face fuck the nurse pony who totally isn't Twilight in disguise. Get her mascara running down her cheeks again.
>Then in the afterglow tell her that you are "cured" and are ready to get out.
>You suspect it won't work though.
>Purple horse is probably just hording your seed. Keeping it all to herself.
>She could have just asked.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 15:35:03 No.29002831 Report

Quoted By: >>29002963

>>29002588

M-maybe they'll come back? The musicians will come back, the drawfags will come back, only this time they will be purged of the cancer and the bad kind of autism, and it's gonna be like the glory days of old 2010 and early 2011?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 16:22:17 No.29002963 Report

Quoted By:

>>29002831
This sort of thing happens. The fanbase got a little older and does not have all the free time it used to. That and people do move on.

Not me though.
I still fantasize about going to Equestria and annoying ponies.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO AiE collage.jpg, 761KiB, 2722x1092

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 16:32:33 No.29002998 Report

Quoted By: >>29003621 >>29003659 >>29007625 >>29014522

>>29001385

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO day one.jpg, 714KiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 16:42:44 No.29003030 Report

Quoted By:

>You wake up in a daze with your ears ringing, for some reason your back feels heavy.
>The last thing you remember is driving home trying desperately not to fall asleep.
>You try to get a hold of your surroundings.
The ground is cold, hard and wet and the air is thick with a dank musk.
>You're certain your eyes are open, but the place is pitch black.
>Upon further inspection, you feel that the ground and wall you're laying against is made of brick.
>Your attempt to stand is cut short by the rattling weight on you back halting you from going any further.
>You panic, nothing good can come of being chained to the ground. you struggle and pull against the chains until something gives and you are set free.
>Getting to your feet, you find the roof of the box you're in with a heavy thud. As if you needed another blow to the head.
>Another?
>That's right, you crashed on the side of the road ad hit your head on the steering wheel.
>Your seat belt and airbag must have had a sense of comedic timing.
>You sit back down against the spot on the wall that's still warm with your legs crossed.
>Where are you?
>Why is this room so small?
>Why aren't you in a hospital right now?
>You hesitate to ask yourself who or what brought you here.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO now what.jpg, 1MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 16:52:37 No.29003064 Report

Quoted By:

>After what seems like an eternity you decide to see exactly how small your room is. You crawl on your hands and knees while waving your hand in front of you until you reach the other walls. What this room lacked in height, it made up for in length and width. You even found air holes on the circular vault like door to this room. At least you wont suffocate before whatever it is your captors have planned for you.
>Whoever they are, you hope that they aren't just some sickos wit a "tricked out" basement.
>You take the chains in your hands, what with them being the only thing you can interact with and all. They didn't feel rusted like you expected them to and the links were pretty thick. How did you break them?
>Then you strain a bit but you manage to pull them apart. one of the links must have made in china printed on it. Shitty chains aside there's not much you can do here besides wait for someone to open the door and bash their shit with the good chains.
>That is if they even open the door, they might just slip food in from another slot or door you couldn't find. Even if you're supposed to be chained to the floor.
>Maybe if you tackle that door a couple thousand times you wouldn't have to worry about someone having to come in.
>Until then, we wait.
>99 bottles of-
>No, none of that.
>Shame on you.
>You hear metal turning and a door creaking open. Light blasts you in the eyes with pin-point accuracy from those two air slots.
"Fuikin ell" your voice cracks.
>You hear the echos of hoof beats getting louder as you inspect your poorly lit prison. You find a chain still attached you a decent size of broken floor.
>If the hallway is big enough to ride a horse in, then that same horse will be your way out.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO ready to strike.jpg, 1MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 16:54:37 No.29003071 Report

Quoted By: >>29003081

>You sit by the door with weapon in hand ready to strike.
>The hoof beats draw closer and the light in coming form the air holes gets obscured more often than before.
>You can hear a pair of women talking more on the way to the door.
>"Are you certain this was necessary?"
>"After it swatted 4 of my guards away like flies I couldn't be to careful."
>You have more questions than answers.
>"I trust your judgement, do you have any Idea what it is?"
>"I've never seen anything like it your highness."
>Highness? and they've never seen a human being? Perhaps they've never seen a man before, if that's even possible.
>"The only thing he closely resembles a centaur, but his face and legs are off. I can't describe it"
>Ok, you've never hit a woman, but these bitches are insane. You aren't going to feel a damn thing.
>"If it is as strong as you say, I would like for you to stand back"
>You guess "the queen" wants it first, you'll have to deal with the other one when the door opens.
>The door clicks and rattles and shifts, you can faintly see something on your side turn be for the door opens.
>There's a dim spotlight over the place where you were supposed to be chained.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unicorns.jpg, 1MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 16:57:14 No.29003081 Report

Quoted By: >>29003094

>>29003071
>"The beast escaped!?" you hear the butch one yell.
>Come on, investigate.
>She steps in on all fours and you bring your ball and chain crashing down on her head.
>"CAPTAIN!" you hear the queen yell.
>You dart out of the door with your fist balled ready to fight.
>You push past the small white horse to find...nothing? You could have sworn you heard two voices. Maybe she was on the phone.
>"Hold it right there" you hear the queen say.
>You feel something grab you and you turn to swing swing back at it full force.
>You strike the white horse in the jaw sending her flying into the back wall of your cell.
>...Did you just punch a unicorn?
>No, you punched a unicorn with wings.
"What in the FUCK IS GOING ON?" you yell.
>You arm yourself with one of the torches mounted on the wall. Why is everything built so shitty?
>The unicorn shakes her head before looking up at you and stroking her chin. "I would like to know that myself creature." She gets to her hooves and approaches you with her horn aglow.
>She spoke.
>The magical Pegicorn spoke.
>You feel that weird grabby feeling you did before. You look down to see that your glowing.
>Then you figured it out, it all made sense.
>You're on here and you need to get out of drugs. You make a break for the door at the other end of the hallway. Your steps are more labored now that you're glowing. You look behind you to find the pegicorn is flying after you with her horn pointed. You throw the torch at her but it glows the same color as her horn before just missing her.
>Why is this hallway so fucking long!?
>"HALT CREATURE!" She shouts, it sounds as though she's right behind you. You foolishly look behind you to confirm and her eye's are glowing white. Is her mane on fire? You'll be having none of that. The light is finally getting closer, just gotta keep running.

Slamnonymous

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 17:01:07 No.29003094 Report

Quoted By: >>29003100

>>29003081
>"I SAID STOP RUNNING CONFOUND YOU!"
>Nope not one bit of that.
"IF YOU DON'T STOP-"
>Just a bit further.
"YOU'RE GOING TO-
Made it!
>Your celebration is cut short when you realize you've run out of ground to run on!
>You fail to stop yourself from careening off of the building you were on. Then you pass through a layer of clouds.
"SHIIIIIIITTTTTTT"
>This is how it all ends, you'll be chasing another light soon enough. there's nothing to grab onto, no springy awning to land on, just you and the very short looking green grass.
>You can almost make out the candy colored shapes dotting the earth.
>Then your falling slowed significantly.You are met face to face with the pegicorn from earlier when you reach a complete stop, the expression on her face seemed relieved if not a bit annoyed.
>With her wings spread and her mane and tail flowing in the wind, she looked both majestic and powerful.
>"Now that I have your attention, would you care to explain to me what you are and why you're here?"
>Better be quick about it, piss her off again and she'll probably drop you.
"I'm a human, a human that is sorry for hitting you and thankful that you caught me"
>"Good answer. Now why are you here, h-you-man?"
>So far so good.
"That, I was wanting to know myself, all I remember doing was driving my car, hitting my head ad waking up in that dungeon."
>"So you don't recall the last few days, interesting." She knits her brow in thought.
>Days?
"Days? How many days?"
"Counting the reports of a strange new creature in the Everfree, 12"
>What could you have been doing for 12 days? And that's when they spotted you, it could have been even longer.
>Once again you find yourself with more questions than answers.
>The captain talked about you fucking up her guards, how many times have they tried to catch you?
>"Since your capable of conversation, I assume you have a name. What is it?" She cocks her head quizzically.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO AAHHHH.png, 1MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 17:02:13 No.29003100 Report

Quoted By:

>>29003094
And I forgot the pic like a nooblet.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO be anonymous.png, 2MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 17:13:57 No.29003148 Report

Quoted By: >>29003674 >>29020762

>What is your name?
>You forgot your name?
>YOU HAVE A NAME WHAT IS IT?
>"I asked you a question hewmin."
>She's getting there. It can't hurt to be honest can it?
"I can't remember." you admit. "Wait! I know."
>Your drivers licence, Duh!
>You pull out your wallet and find 68 dollars, your father's employee badge, and nothing else. What the hell, you never take it out of your wallet.
>The pegicorn is getting impatient.
"I had a card with my picture and name on it."
>"Who is on the card your holding?"
"My dad, Mark, the last name isn't on here like it used to be though." You show her the card.
>"You look a lot like him, minus the goatee. However, so long as you can't recall your name, you shall be Anonymous."
>Anonymous huh, you've heard worse names.
>"I am Princess Celestia and because of your heartfelt apology, I will not drop you here nor will have you executed for assaulting me".
>Hey, that's pretty good.
"However, I don't believe my little ponies are mentally prepared for a creature such as yourself. I'm sure you understand."
"yes ma-Your majesty." you correct yourself. Then you worry, "does that mean I go back in chains?" you ask.
>"I don't think that would be wise or necessary".
>Your balls collide with your diaphragm when she Lifts you with her telekinesis and flies back toward your prison.
>Whoo boy, are you never gonna get used to that, it's a good thing you don't have a fear of heights.
>"Since you aren't a feral beast, I believe we can make the Ventus Hammer a bit more comfortable." she says over her shoulder.
>The building you're headed towards very closely resembles a sledge hammer with the handle dug into a cloud. It looks much larger now that you're seeing it from the outside. It makes you wonder why the room was so small in the first place.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:18:30 No.29003621 Report

Quoted By:

>>29002998
>remember watching ghost do the first few drawings
I miss the tinychats

Replacement Green/ Iron Tarkington

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO anon_hugging_guard.png, 1MiB, 1331x1931

Replacement Green/ Iron Tarkington Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:27:08 No.29003651 Report

Quoted By: >>29004445 >>29020762

So this is where I'm taking my prison shit?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:28:50 No.29003659 Report

Quoted By: >>29026889

>>29002998

Man. What are the odds that we'll ever do another metafic about our Anons or us as writers?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:32:20 No.29003674 Report

Quoted By: >>29003723

>>29003148

I gotta admit bro, it wasn't bad, other than some odd stylistic and formatting issues. The issue that I have is that I think we've seen literally every single iteration and variation on "How Anon Got to Equestria" and it can be reduced down to an algorithm.

If you want to tell a story about something, don't bother setting it up with backstory - that should flow organically in the main text. I know because I've been guilty of it.

Unless of course, you have a new unique twist on how Anon got to Equestria, in which case, proceed.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:40:08 No.29003723 Report

Quoted By:

>>29003674
>The issue that I have is that I think we've seen literally every single iteration and variation on "How Anon Got to Equestria" and it can be reduced down to an algorithm.

I don't think we have.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO getting back.jpg, 934KiB, 2550x3300

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:52:04 No.29003769 Report

Quoted By: >>29003788

Slamnonymous

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:56:51 No.29003788 Report

Quoted By: >>29003808

>>29003769
>You both touch down in the mouth of the hammer and are greeted by a smaller Pegasus with a bleeding gash on its head and spear in its mouth.
>You stifle laughter stone faced as that red picture of the crow with a knife in It's beak comes to mind.
>It was cute, objectively speaking, it had a simpler body and face than a normal horse much like the princess, only here it narrowly avoids the uncanny valley due to how large its eyes are.
"Princess, I'll run him through at your command." she mumbles through her full mouth.
"At ease captain, I've spoken with this Human, and he only acted out of fear"
>Hey you got it that time.
>"Yes your majesty," she says before standing at attention spear in hoof.
"I'm...sorry for hitting you too."
>She glares at you for a moment before returning her gaze to Celestia. You don't blame her.
>"What do we do to contain this "U-man?" Princess?" ,she says still audibly scrunched at you.
>"We ask him nicely" Celestia replies. "Anonymous, follow me, We'll see what we can do to better your living quarters."
>Celestia starts back toward the door along side the Guard Horse and you follow.
> Though you don't see how she can improve your cell without any tools. Perhaps she has a throw pillow in her mane that would tie the room together. Come to think of it, a pillow would be a vast improvement.
>You nearly trip over one of the foot prints you left in the seemingly solid stone. Everything here just seems to crumble in your hands.This must be how superman feels.Or maybe it's just low income housing and you weren't being careful.
>That's when you notice her tail and mane are still flowing despite how far into the "hammer" you've gone. Not sure if magic or her hair is that light.
>Neither would surprise you.
>The Princess stops in front of you door and her horn glows brightly. You hope she isn't going to lift you back in there. You can- oh, she's standing up.

Lurking Giant

Lurking Giant Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:58:13 No.29003795 Report

Quoted By:

Repost

>As the bright light of day warms your face you begin to stir.
>Reaching for your blanket to cover your head to stave off the new day you find nothing but the soft caress of grass under your fingers.
>Opening your eyes you quickly realize you are no longer in your bedroom.
>The surrounding trees stand as if guarding the small patch of clearing you find yourself in.
>Looking down at yourself you see you’re still wearing the same cloths you had on last night when you arrived home from work.
>You did arrive home.
>But how did you get here?
>Where is here anyway?
“The everfree forest.”
>Living in the heart of the city meant there were no forests around for miles.
“It’s the everfree forest.”
>How could you have gotten from your apartment to this unknown fores- wait what?
“I said it’s the Everfree forest you limp dick fuck!?!”
>B-b-but that’s not what you are supposed to say
>You are supposed to say “Where am I? How did I get here?”
“Fuck you.”
“This is the most cliché bullshit opening to pull.”
“I mean seriously ‘Anon wakes up in the everfree with no knowledge of how he arrived in Equestria’ is the most overdone crap and I’m not doing it.”
“What’s next, I bump into Fluttershy as she is out with her critters?”
>”Oh, umm…did I miss my cue?”
“Oh fuck me.”
>No fluttershy it’s fine just a little setback.
>Go on back and I’ll cue you when we are ready.
>”Ok then.”

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO new place.png, 2MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 19:59:17 No.29003808 Report

Quoted By: >>29003852

>>29003788
>When she stomps the ground, it changes into some shiny grey tiles and a surge of sparkling magic sweeps through the room. you hear the stone shift and shape itself into something new before you poke your head into the door.
>The roof is rising, those holes in the floor and wall are filling in and smoothing out, there's even a skylight forming in the roof.
"This is amazing! How are you doing this?" you ask the princess.
>"Magic" she replies smugly.
>You guess all princesses have let it go powers.
>The color scheme of the room is white and blue, with a grey marble floor. Your shackles and chains are replaced with a table and chairs, two chairs. Looks like you'll be having visitors then.
>The last thing to make itself was the bath tub and toilet around the corner. She wasn't kidding when she said more comfortable, this is a night and day difference. It's actually nicer than your apartment back home.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO loft.png, 344KiB, 1600x900

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 20:07:48 No.29003852 Report

Quoted By: >>29004022 >>29004067 >>29004088

>>29003808
>You step out of the shower after your morning routine, one hundred setups, one hundred push ups, one hundred squats, and a ten minute sprint in place.
>Hey, you needed something to do, and fuck these horse language books. You're fortunate that fantasy world horses even speak English, not even you expected them to write in English
>Bam bam scratch bam.
>You rest from your workout and stare through the open window. The clouds always manage to shift into something interesting. You take a sip of your bomb ass cloud water and sigh.
>Boom
>For the 50th day in a row. Despite the decor you are still a prisoner, and there's no one here except for you, your guard mare, and what ever the hell's making all that noise above you.
>"RRREEEEAAUUUUGGHHHHHH"
>Your neighbors moved in on day 37. While it was a welcome change from the howling wind at first, it's beginning to wear on you. If the princess visit's back with you perhaps you can convince her to fly you around the place, or at the very least let you punch those bastards upstairs in the mouth.
>The guard opens your door visibly shaken. Your food tray falls off of her back but you step in and catch it before it hits the ground. She must be new.
"Hey it's alright, I'm not going to eat you." you assure her while bending your tray back into shape.
>More hay, an apple and three carrots this time. You've been using the hay to make bales and fortify your bed. You asked for meat, but the Captain's a bitch and she may have ignored it, or the guards you ask are afraid of her and don't relay the message because she's a bitch.
>"Y-you won't but t-they will." she answers back finally
>Fucking pronoun game.
"and just what are they?" you ask annoyed.
>"M-m-manticores" she stammers I-I have to be in the same room with those monsters and feed them steaks" she says to her self.
>STEAK?
"Steak? All those times I asked for meat and you give it to manticores? Where's the justice?" you shake your head.
>"Behind you" says the Princess

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 20:49:25 No.29004022 Report

Quoted By:

>>29003852
DAMMIT ANON KEEP GOING

I HAVE A BONER FOR GREEN

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 20:59:59 No.29004067 Report

Quoted By:

>>29003852

>behind you
I chuckled.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO manticore time.png, 3MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 21:06:11 No.29004088 Report

Quoted By: >>29004108 >>29004126 >>29004149

>>29003852
>Celestia looks mildly amused as your Guard stands at attention.
>"I didn't know you ate meat Anon, I'll have them adjust your menu. Are there any other wrongs that need righting?"
>Your eye twitches at the banging going on upstairs.
>Heh, banging.
>If you weren't mad you'd laugh.
"May I go upstairs and punch whatever's doing that in the face?" you ask politely.
>"Are you sure about that anon? Unlike you the manticore is a wild beasts." she replies.
"A manticore has been eating meat and keeping me awake for the last week?"
>She nods.
"I'm sure."
>She and the guard walk you out of your cell and up the stairs to unlucky son biii.... >That is a lion. A lion with wings, horns, and a scorpion tail. It's much bigger than a lion, big enough to make all that fucking noise on it's own, and big enough to catch these fucking hands for doing so.
"If you would like to reconsider I understand." says the princes in a slightly worried tone.
"No, this is personal." you arch your neck to crack it on both sides. The guard grimaces at the sound echoing through the room.
>The manitcore looks at you, his nostrils flare and his pupils narrow.
>"Very well. Guard, open the cage and let Anon in."
>"But Your Maje-"
>"That wasn't a suggestion." Celestia cuts in.
>The guard bows before opening the cage and letting you in. She slams the door behind you and runs behind Celestia.
>Your opponent is salivating and tensing to strike. You put up your dukes and get ready, he may be big but you ARE gonna knock a mother fucker out today.

Be Celestia
>Your guard is audibly sweating while the two circle each other.
>"Princess, I-I apologize, I haven't fed the manitcore yet." she says while looking down at her hooves.
>You grin.
"I know"
The two lunge at each other and both catch a mean right hook. When anon is the first to stand back up, you already know the outcome.
"Anon likes his steak medium rare." You tell the Guard before teleporting back to your castle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 21:10:01 No.29004108 Report

Quoted By: >>29004149

>>29004088

suggestion:
"Anon likes his steak medium rare." You tell the Guard before teleporting back to your castle.

should instead be

"Anon likes his steak medium rare," you tell the guard before teleporting back to your castle.

Unless Celestia is referring to herself as a deity, in which case both You's would be capitalized.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 21:13:42 No.29004126 Report

Quoted By: >>29004149 >>29005652

>>29004088
>"Anon likes his steak medium rare."
>medium rare
>not well done
dropped
not really i already read all of this in the prison thread and i remember enjoying it and wanting more, thank you for posting it again here

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO shocking.png, 2MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 21:20:29 No.29004149 Report

Quoted By: >>29004173 >>29020762

>>29004088
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40JmEj0_aVM
>Be Sterling Sheild, Captain of the guard and Celestia's right hoof mare. You along with the Royal escort are on your way to free the human. It's been 4 months since you were given the order to feed the human meat.
>You still don't know what difference it made.
>You expected to see manitcores sent here guarding the parameter, but they must be inside.
>Just then one of them bursts from the hammer's wall. The wall begins to fix it's self soon after, runes and all. You notice one of it's wings are broken when it tumbles to the ground below.
>Just what in the hell is going on?
>You and the escort swoop into the entrance. You've sent thirteen Manticores to this place and the first one you see when you get here is now a pancake.
>If that's happening to them, you can only imagine what's happening to Anon, you only care because If he dies then you can kiss your chances of moving to general goodbye.
>You knew you should have checked the place more often, but after that blow to the head you had to take a breather.
>When you get to the manticore cage you can't believe your eyes.
>Is this human fighting two of them? AND WINNING?

>>29004108
Thanks family I didn't even notice that. Also should I start a new line if I want to capitalize the next sentence after Dialogue?

>>29004126
>He wants his steak burnt.
As you can see, a few things are going to be different to improve the story, I'll also be working on my formatting.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 21:24:44 No.29004173 Report

Quoted By:

>>29004149

I think that's a matter of preference. I generally try to make it one line = one sentence or two if one of them is short, like:

>Luna rolled her eyes. Gingerly skipping from stone to stone, unaided by magic at all, she forded the stream, seemingly without effort.
>You were certain she'd be a little bit winded, but no - her breathing was regular and she still smelled like a cool night-time breeze.

But I think that's more personal preference.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Playtime..png, 3MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 21:31:01 No.29004212 Report

Quoted By:

>Be Anonymous.
>You have half a mind to go after flappers, but you got bigger problems. You've only got two more kitties to play with, and you'll be damned if they escape.
>As expected, Spike wants it first. You dodge the tail whips that used to cut you and tear your clothes. The next time he turns around you deliver a roundhouse kick to his jaw. That's when you notice fluffy making a break for the closing hole in the wall.
>Pshh, he thought!
> You take long running strides to catch up with him. "Oh NO ya don't!" You grab him by the tail and yank him back into the room before the hole closes.
"You guys are inside cats remember? Now come give papa a hug."
>They're coming alright, but you have the sneaking suspicion that they aren't trying to hug you. Fluffy swipes at you with his claws but you block with your elbow and uppercut him into the ceiling. His brother launches the spikes from his tail at you.
>Damn do you hate projectiles. You duck, dodge, and deflect as many as you can before he grazes you with one. Aww, he's forcing you to approach, you should give him a treat after this. You dash left and rip a bar from the cage with some stone still on the end of it, ignoring some dumbfounded ponies in the process.
>This isn't going to be like that one time, your ready for him. Just as you thought Spike's fur sharpens to a point in all directions and he stands upright with his forelegs spread. You jump and come down on his head with your bar. No Iron maiden for you thanks.
>Spike sways with his eyes crossed before falling over. The reforming ceiling squeezes him out and impales him on top of Spike.
>Mourning the untimely loss of Fluffy, you walk over to the end of the cage to the ponies with their jaws on the the floor. Even Hard-Ass McBitch horse is at a loss for words.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Suit up.png, 678KiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 21:42:34 No.29004257 Report

Quoted By: >>29005472

>Their eye's are following you, but they aren't all the way there.
"Hello? Words? Like, the ones you use to communicate!" you yell.
>"You just killed two manticores" The captain replies.
>Did your 619 really kill Flappers? He was your favorite one! Now how are you gonna practice your air combos?
"Are you sure? I know he left the building but he can still fl-"
>"His wing was broken"
"Oh, I see. Well there's more where he came from right? Or did I just endanger this species?" You ask.
>"It's likely you have. Pray tell anonymous, where are the others?
"You see, what had happened was, the first guy had it coming cuz he was an asshole. Screech caught a bar to the jugular for waking me up one day. Nibbles bit me one too many times, so I tore off his jaw, Aaaand the last seven, well nine now, were accidents."
>"Uh-huh." She states in disbelief. "Well, the Princess requests you at her castle this afternoon, She has recognized your ability and believes it will prove useful to the crown."
"YOU MEAN I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE?" you say a bit louder than you wanted too.
>"Yes. Yes you are you are." She un-scrunches her scrunch but her ears are still pinned back."She also asked that you wear this". One of the work horses holds a suit on a coat hanger in it's mouth.
>Snazzy.
>You never had a suit fit you so well, it's almost like a second skin.
>The shoes fit perfectly as well. It must of been tailored, but then, how did they get your measurements? Sompony's got some explaining to do.
>SOMEBODY, SOME-BODY. Damn it, now they've got you saying it too. You were doing well for the past few months.
>Your carriage awaits. It's strange to see a horse drawn carriage in a world populated by horses.
>The human equivalent would be one of those Chinese carts people run with.
>You sit inside across from the captain and watch the other guards seal the door on the place you've called home for the last 6 months. You almost miss it, but that might be the Stockholm talking.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 22:16:51 No.29004439 Report

Quoted By:

>yfw you will never be able to write like JazzTeeth even though you try and try to emulate his style

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 22:17:30 No.29004445 Report

Quoted By:

>>29003651
If you want. Nobody's gonna force you to if you don't wanna.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 22:25:03 No.29004488 Report

Quoted By: >>29004676

Also, sin.aie is dead. Can I get a direct link to the Skype group?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Resisting, huh.jpg, 29KiB, 405x405

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 22:26:15 No.29004494 Report

Quoted By:

>>28997095
No thanks. I hear ponies disappear there and are never seen again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 23:01:57 No.29004676 Report

Quoted By: >>29004903 >>29005110 >>29006052

>>29004488
8th here, give us your Skype info. My account isn't dead so I want to try adding you to see if that works that way.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 05 Dec 2016 23:36:30 No.29004903 Report

Quoted By:

>>29004676

"drayakir"

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 00:05:03 No.29005110 Report

Quoted By: >>29005199

>>29004676
>8th here
Literally fucking who

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 00:23:04 No.29005199 Report

Quoted By: >>29005315

>>29005110
Some fag literally nobody cares about. Writes those fucking trash Moonie stories.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 00:41:04 No.29005315 Report

Quoted By:

>>29005199
Nice digits.

Slamnonymous

Slamnonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 01:08:44 No.29005472 Report

Quoted By: >>29005812

>>29004257
>Their eye's are following you, but they aren't all the way there.
"Hello? Words? Like, the ones you use to communicate!" you yell.
>"You just killed two manticores" The captain replies.
>Did your 619 really kill Flappers? He was your favorite one! Now how are you gonna practice your air combos?
"Are you sure? I know he left the building but he can still fl-"
>"His wing was broken"
"Oh, I see. Well there's more where he came from right? Or did I just endanger this species?" You ask.
>"It's likely you have. Pray tell Anonymous, where are the others?
"You see, what had happened was, the first guy had it coming cuz he was an asshole. Screech caught a pipe to the jugular for waking me up one day. Nibbles bit me one too many times, so I tore off his jaw. Aaaand the last seven, well nine now, were accidents."
>"UH-huh." She states in disbelief. "Well, the Princess requests you at her castle this afternoon, She has recognized your ability and believes it will prove useful to the crown."
"YOU MEAN I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE, you say a bit louder than you wanted too.
>"Yes. Yes you are you are." She un-scrunches her scrunch but her ears are still pinned back."She also asked that you wear this". One of the work horses holds a suit on a coat hanger in it's mouth.
>Snazzy.
>You never had a suit fit you so well, it's almost like a second skin.
>The shoes Fit perfectly as well. It must of been tailored, but then, how did they get your measurements? Sompony's got some esplaining to do.
>SOMEBODY, SOME-BODY. Damn it, now they've got you saying it too. You were doing well for the past few months.
>Your carriage awaits. It's strange to see a horse drawn carriage in a world populated by horses, you guess some things just work.
>You sit inside across from the captain and watch the other guards seal the door on the place you've called home for the last 8 months. You almost miss it, almost.
>The captain gives you a once over. "You clean up well." she says mildly impressed.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Panko pls.jpg, 241KiB, 763x1000

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 01:11:12 No.29005488 Report

Quoted By: >>29005809

We doin secret Santa again this year?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 01:20:44 No.29005530 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001111
I can't write for shit and am very boring/unoriginal. Also lazy but, mostly the first things.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 01:44:14 No.29005652 Report

Quoted By:

>>29004126
>>not well done
you mean ruined?
(You) basic bitch

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:07:00 No.29005809 Report

Quoted By: >>29005839 >>29006073

>>29005488
This was asked last thread and the one before. Yes. Just wait for shit to be organised nigga

Slamnonymous

Slamnonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:07:42 No.29005812 Report

Quoted By: >>29005855

>>29005472
>That may have been the first nice thing she's said to you.
>The Carriage starts up and you're pushed into your seat. It reminds you of taking off in an airplane, except for the open windows.
>Your stomach drops when you take off, but other than that, it's a smooth ride.
>The captain closes the window and gives you another once over.
>"It looks like I was right to put you in the hammer Anon, Celestia only knows what you would have done if you left the Everfree."
"About that, I'm still foggy on the details. Could you fill me in?"
>Her eyes roll back in thought.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1402031395146.png, 72KiB, 353x439

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:12:18 No.29005839 Report

Quoted By: >>29005950 >>29005972

>>29005809
>nigga
Please do not say the n-word, thank you.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO night walker.png, 1MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:15:02 No.29005855 Report

Quoted By: >>29005972 >>29006003

>>29005812
>Be Sterling Shield 8 and a half months ago.
>These rumors of the "Night walker" are getting more and more detailed. You sent a search party to investigate, but all they found was a path of deep prints and broken trees. If you want something done right you'll have to do it yourself. It's been I while since you've been on a bounty hunt anyway.
>You and your team set out armed to the teeth, literally. Your not taking any chances if one creature's been doing all this damage. It may even be more than on-
>"ugh,I'm GETTING NO WHERE!" somepony yells. He may not be what your after, but it's your honor and duty to help. You follow the incoherent ramblings to it's source. He sounds like he's at his wits end, which is understandable. It's easy to get lost in this forest.
>It looks like the one in distress IS the night walker! He's standing upright with tattered clothes just like in the ponice sketches.
>You stay just out of his line of sight. If you can take him peacefully It'd be much better.
"Stailons, ready the net and be on guard, I'll distract him." you whisper, they nod and and follow your command. "Hello? Is anypony out there?" you shout to the beast.
>"Rangers? I'M SAVED!" He drunkenly stumbles toward your hiding spot. Just a little closer....
"NOW"
Your team swoops down on the beast enveloping him in the net. This only serve's to peeve him as he flails hysterically.
>"WHAT THE HELL? GET OFF ME!"
>You're most powerful Stallions are flung every which way. One was fortunate to enough to be launched straight upward, the rest not so much. You narrowly avoid Regal before he splinters a tree beside you. Your vice captain is groaning in a six hoof crater and that new recruit was thrown so far that you can't even see him. Good thing he can fly.
>The creature screeches in rage before turning his eyes to you. You daftly maneuver and doge his swipes.
>He tears holes in trees and shatters rocks with his stray swings. You've got to find a way to take him down.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:28:48 No.29005950 Report

Quoted By:

>>29005839
You're not my real dad, you cunt nigger.

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO lyra_gtfo.png, 167KiB, 720x781

Handsome Jew Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:32:03 No.29005972 Report

Quoted By: >>29006003

>>29005839
And what are you gonna do about it, you double nigger?
>>29005855
Are these old or are you still writing them and finding/drawing images simultaneously?

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO .png, 2MiB, 2550x3300

Slamnonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:38:43 No.29006003 Report

Quoted By: >>29020762 >>29025233

>>29005855
>You hear Victor's sonic rain-boom overhead and it gives you an Idea. There's now way he can get back up after a tackle at mach 2.
>Victor must bethinking what you're thinking because he's headed straight down towards the clearing.
>The Night walker is hot on your trail as you run back to the clearing. Just a bit further, you can make it! You reach the clearing and take off to clear the way for victor.
>The creature nearly yanked you out of the sky before he collided with Victor in mid air. Just what in the hell is he? The crash left the Night walker in a creator of his own and victor limping. Much your surprise, this thing is still breathing, he's to dangerous for a regular holding cell.
>Although it was meant for Chrysalis,you may have just found the Aether hammer's first tenant.
>Anon is stroking his chin in thought when you finish your story."That would explain the splitting headache I woke up with, and why the place cell was so small." he finally says.
"You didn't really talk much until you tried to escape"
>"I was conscious?"
"You ate what we gave you and you'd look at us when we opened the door. Other than that, you would just lay there staring a the wall. Sometimes you would mumble something but you would never repeat it. So you can imagine my alarm when your chains lie broken on the floor."
>"Nonny doesn't like restraints." he coyly replies
"The princess had visited the 5th day of your stay. She was curious about the whole "Night walker" business as well." you continue.
>"So am I an urban legend now?"
"We still get sighting reports so, that would be a yes"
>"Huh. neat." he smiles.
"Just don't let it go to your head." You warn him.

>>29005972
I've already written them, but I'm editing the writing as I go.
I did all the drawings myself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:48:46 No.29006052 Report

Quoted By: >>29006164 >>29007127

>>29004676

Still waiting for my invite.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 02:52:00 No.29006073 Report

Quoted By:

>>29005809
who was running that last time nigga

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 03:08:58 No.29006164 Report

Quoted By: >>29006222 >>29006499

>>29006052
You need to use the proper rituals to summon 8th, watch.

VEGEMITE.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 03:18:19 No.29006222 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006164

Koala! Boomerang! Wallaby! Oi oi oi!

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 04:21:41 No.29006499 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006164
He comes from a land down under
Where ponies grow and Anon's blunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the wonder
As we all learn, we all rediscover

User !gGu8.icMHg

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Anon&Death.png, 266KiB, 565x746

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 04:50:41 No.29006637 Report

Quoted By: >>29006656

>Death has come for Anon. Unfortunately, she has her work cut out for her.
>You are Anon
>And you do believe that you are screwed.

>Standing on your doorstep is a mare.
>While not unusual for this time of morning (Yellow Quiet is probably on her way right now), the mare herself isn’t what you are expecting.
>She’s tall, far taller than you.
>For the first time since arriving in Equestria, you actually have to stare up at a pony, instead of down.

>It’s a little intimidating.

>No wonder ponies didn’t like it when you hold stuff over their heads.

>You can’t get a good look at her though, as most of her body is hidden behind a dark cloak.
>Only her wings are visible, the large appendages appearing to grow out of the cloak itself.
>From within the folds of the cloak’s hood, her eyes glow with some other worldly power as she stares blankly down at you.

>“Anon Mous?” she asks, her voice echoing eerily and you can swear you hear dozens of voices whispering beneath hers.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 04:55:29 No.29006656 Report

Quoted By: >>29006677

>>29006637
>You swallow thickly before answer.

“Y-yes?”
>Oh shit. As you speak, your breath fogs up.
>Why is your breath is visible? It’s the middle of fucking summer!

>The look that the mare gives you doesn’t help the shivers that are running up your spine.

>“It is time,” she says.

“Uh, time for what exactly?

>“It is your time, young one.”
>Slowly, a hoof emerges from the folds of her cloak and for a moment you catch sight of what’s within.
>Bones adorn the interior of the cloak, clinking together softly as the mare moves.
>You can’t see her body though, as a swirling darkness blocks her from view.
>Then, the cloak falls back into place, cutting off your view.

>She holds up a small hourglass in her blackened hoof.
>It’s adorn with a miniature human skull.
>Your name is etched along the base, and it appears that all the sand has fallen into the bottom half.

>“It is your time,” she repeats again, staring unblinkingly at you with her glowing eyes. “Please, come with me.”

>You stare at her blankly for a few seconds before your eyes narrow.
>Wait a minute...

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 04:58:20 No.29006677 Report

Quoted By: >>29006703

>>29006656
>You scoff and roll your eyes.
“Nice try, Fluttershy, but dying isn’t my fetish.”

>This causes the mare to blink and she tilts her head to the side. “I’m sorry…?”

>You repeat yourself.
“Snuff isn’t my fetish, Fluttershy.

>“I… I don’t…” the mare stutters, giving you a bewildered look. “What are you talking about? I am not Fluttershy.”

>You roll your eyes.
“You’re starting to lose your touch.”
>Slowly, you begin to close the door.
“This was a pitiful attempt. Go home, and try harder tomorrow, okay?”
>Before the mare can answer, you slam the door in her face.
>You lock it just to be sure before turning and heading for the kitchen.
>At least, you attempt to.

>You only manage to take a couple of steps before your entire house suddenly shakes violently.
>The skies outside turn dark, and thunder booms.

>“YOU DARE MOCK ME?!”

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:02:27 No.29006703 Report

Quoted By: >>29006724

>>29006677
>Whirling around, you see a sight that causes you to let out a shrill shriek a manly shout.
>The mare is currently phasing through your front door as if it was nothing more than smoke.
>Her muzzle is scrunch up in a snarl, and dark energy wafts from her eyes.

>A thick layer of frost begins to cover the walls of your home as she pulls herself the rest of the way through the door.
>She has to stoop to stop the top of her head from hitting the ceiling.
>Even so, she still looms over you, a look of fury on her face.

>“Do you know who am I, mortal?” she hisses.

>“Fluttershy…?”
>This causes her to growl, and the temperature in the room drops even further.

>“I was there at the beginning of existence,” the mare says with a snarl.
>“I was there at the dawn of time.”
> I was there when life first began, and I shall be there when it takes its last breath.”
>As she talks, she moves towards you, gliding effortlessly through the air.
>Frost spreads out across the floor from beneath her cloak.

>Okay, this is starting to not look good.
>As the mare draws nearer, you begin to back up until your back suddenly bumps up against the wall.
>You look around for an escape, but the mare is blocking your path to both the front door and the staircase.

>Slowly, she lowers her head until she face-to-face with you.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:05:53 No.29006724 Report

Quoted By: >>29006735 >>29006767

>>29006703
>“Through me, the way to the Darkened City.”
>”Through me, the way to everlasting peace.”
>”Through me, the way to eternal sleep,” she breaths.
>She’s so close that you can smell her breath.
>It smells like… lilies?[/spoilers]

>What the fuck?

>You don’t have time to wonder about that before she pushes her muzzle up against your nose.

>“I am the shadow that haunts every nightmare.”
>”I am the terror that freezes every heart.”
>”Nothing came before me, and nothing shall remain after.”
>”Ash shall return to ash, dust shall return to dust.”
>”None shall escape my decay, my execution, my calling.”
>“Now do you know who I am?” she asks.

>You slowly thickly, having to lick your lips before replying.

“N-not Fluttershy…?”

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:07:03 No.29006735 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006724
Shit...

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:11:19 No.29006767 Report

Quoted By: >>29006781

>>29006724
>The mare straightens up and gives you an unamused look.

>“I have had enough of your games,” Death says, her voice returning to normal.
>A hoof emerges from the cloak, and there’s a flash of white.
>She now has a long scythe held in her grasp.
>“I have come for you, and I will not be leaving empty hooved. One way or another, you will be coming with me.”

>You stare up at her, wide-eyed.

“W-what?”

>“You are Anon, the human, correct?” she asks.
>A large book appears in the air before her and, with a gust of frigid wind, it opens.
>The pages flap about before coming to a rest.
>The mare hums softly as she drags a hoof down the page.

>“Here it is,” she says suddenly, tapping the entry.
>“Anon A. Mous. Died today at eight-thirty in the morning.”
>She pauses, any eyebrow raising.
>“Slipped on your own semen after masturbating and hit your head on the tub?”
>Her eyes dart up to stare at you, and you rub the back of your head.
>Your hand comes away red.

“Huh… how’d that happen?”
>You chuckle weakly, wiping your hand on your shirt.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:13:14 No.29006781 Report

Quoted By: >>29006790

>>29006767
>Death closes the book with a snap, and it disappears from existence in a flurry of frost.
>“If you’d be so kind?” she asks, holding out a hoof for you to take.
>“I have other creatures waiting.”

>You stay where you are, eyeing her scythe fearfully.

>You try reasoning with her.
“T-there has to be some mistake. How could I have died by simply hitting my head? I’ve done that dozens of times. Hell, Rainbow’s crashed into the ground face first at Mach One and she’s still up and kicking? Why don’t you go after her instead?”
>“I’m well aware of whom you speak of,” Death says, her expression impassive.
>“I have an appointment with her next week. I’m not here for her right now.
>“I’m here for you.”
>She takes a step forward, and you scamper quickly along the wall.

“I can’t be dead! You have the wrong guy!”
>“You are Anon A. Mous, are you not?” she asks, gliding effortlessly after you.
>You move to put the couch between you and her.
“No.”
>She gives you a deadpan look. “Really? You aren’t Anon Mous? The only human in this land?”
>You shake your head.
“Nope. You have the wrong house. Sorry.”

>This causes her to sigh.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:14:40 No.29006790 Report

Quoted By: >>29006801

>>29006781
>“Do you take me for a foal?” she asks.
>“I’ve done this job for an eternity. You aren’t the first to try and pull the wool over my eyes. I know who I’m after. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“But I’m so young! There’s so much I haven’t done yet! So much I haven’t seen! So many ponies I haven’t messed with yet! Can’t you come back in say… a month? Maybe a year, tops?”
>“You can not postpone your passing,” she says, a hint of anger beginning to work its way into her voice.
“Look, I’ll cut you a deal. You see, there are these three fillies that—”

>“Enough!” Death booms out suddenly.
>Her wings flare wide until they seem to take up the entire room.
>Shadows seem to lengthen, and an oppressive pressure descends upon you.
>In a quick, fluid motion, she raises her scythe and brings it rushing towards you.

>With a scream, you dive to the side, narrowly avoiding the sharp blade.
>Your couch, however, is not so lucky.
>The scythe cloves it in two with no effort, like a knife through butter.

>As you scramble frantically to your feet, Death advances towards you, her scythe held aloft once more.
>“I gave you the chance to come with me willingly,” she growls, “but you have elected the way of pain!”
>She swings the scythe again, but you duck.
>A long gouge appears on your wall, right where your head had been seconds before.

>Letting out another shrill scream, you scamper quickly along the floor on all fours, Death hot on your heels.
>Another swing of the scythe and one of your potted plants suddenly explodes, bits of broken pot and dirt flying everywhere.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:16:16 No.29006801 Report

Quoted By: >>29006813

>>29006790
>“Get back here!” Death growls, taking another swipe at you.
>Your coat racks falls to the floor.

>“This… this is ridiculous,” she huffs, turning to try and keep you in her sights.
>You dive beneath the coffee table, but quickly roll out again as she brings the scythe down upon it, smashing the furniture into pieces.

>“I’ve dealt with changelings less tenacious than you,” she shouts. “Accept your fate, mortal!”
“Never!”
>Grabbing one of the couch cushions that had been sent tumbling when the couch met its fate, you toss it at her.
“Leave me alone!”
>There’s a flash of steel, and the pillow falls to the floor in a shower of stuffing and fabric.
>“Enough,” Death snarls, advancing towards you again.
>You turn to run, but find yourself trapped in a corner.

>Death smirks.

>“I have you now,” she sneers as she moves forward, raising her scythe.
>“Hold still. This will be quick… but not painless.”
>As she brings the scythe falling down upon your head, you make on final attempt to escape.
>Trapped and with no place left to run, you take refuge in the only place available to you.

>With a Tarzan-like cry, you dive into the folds of Death’s cloak.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:18:01 No.29006813 Report

Quoted By: >>29006819

>>29006801
>All noise ceases, and a calming darkness surrounds you.
>It takes your eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dim light, but when they do, you peer around your hiding spot.
>Bones cover the interior of the cloak; mostly leg bones though several wing bones and spines are mixed in.
>They clink together softly as the fabric of the cloak shifts and sways.

>You yourself are currently crouched beneath Death’s barrel, and it takes you a moment to realize that she’s standing on just her hind legs.
>You take a moment to study her body, only to find to your surprise that she’s not as skeletal as you assumed she’d be.
>She has a healthy layer of fat on her to the point where you might even call her a little pudgy.

>You poke her stomach experimentally.

>“What the…?” comes a muffled voice from above, and she takes a couple of steps back.
>You quickly shuffle along, keeping yourself within the folds of the cloak.
>“What are you… stop that.”
>A hoof slips within the cloak, reaching about, searching for you.

>You quickly maneuver yourself around until you are positioned about her flanks.

>“Get out of there this instant!” she grunts.
>You suddenly feel the telltale build-up of magic.
>Without thinking, you quickly grab a hold of her rump, and not a moment too soon.
>In a burst of frost, she teleports across the room.
>Luck for you though, since you’re touching her, you are teleported as well.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:19:05 No.29006819 Report

Quoted By: >>29006829

>>29006813
>“This is absurd!” she cries. “Come out at once!”
“No!”
>With clumsy movement, you pull yourself up so that your straddling her back.
>She’s surprisingly warm, considering who she is.
>You cling to her barrel and refuse to let go.
>She stomps about, trying to dislodge you but your grip is too tight.
>She flaps her wings, but still you do not budge.
>A few more attempts at teleporting, and she’s starting to become flustered.

>“Begone from our cloak, mortal!” she shouts as she tries to reach you with her forehooves.
>Unfortunately for her, while ponies here might be more flexible than their Earthly counterparts, she still can’t reach her back.
“No!”
>“Get out of there this instant!”
“No! You can’t make me!”
>“Mortal, get out of my cloak this instant or so help me Lux!”
“Fuck off!”
>“That does it!”

>The sound of magic being used is the only warning you get before the scythe’s blade suddenly rips through the cloak, stopping inches in front of your face.
>You eye the blade nervously, sweat beading up on your brow.
>There’s a pause before the scythe is pulled free, leaving behind no indication that it had ever been there.
>You gulp.

“Oh shit.”

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:21:03 No.29006829 Report

Quoted By: >>29006839

>>29006819
>The scythe blade appears again, this time nearly taking off your leg in the process.
>Before you have a chance to recover, it’s gone again, only to reappear this time by your hand.
>Oh hell no!
>This bitch is trying to shank you!

>With that in mind, you begin your frantic attempts to keep your head: namely, wiggle like you’ve never wiggled before.
>Like a squirrel in a tree, you shimmy around her body as she continues to stab blindly with the scythe.

>“Will… you… hold… still?”
“No!”
>“Stop, unf… moving. This is for your own good!”
“Like hell it is!”
>“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
“What? You thought I was going to come quietly?”
>“Yes! Most ponies do!”
“I’m not a pony!”
>“Stop this immediately, mortal! You are only delaying the inevitab—GAH!”

>A loud crashing noise comes from outside, followed by the thumping of several large objects landing on the floor.
>It appears Death has just knocked over your bookshelf.
>That doesn’t matter much though, given what’s just happened within the cloak.

“...oh, wow.”
>“WHAT IN THE NAME OF—WHAT ARE YOU—GET YOUR ARM OUT OF THERE!”
“I’ve got to give you props, lady. That’s impressive.”
>“GET YOUR ARM OUT OF THERE THIS INSTANT!”
“I wonder what happens if I…”
>“NO, WAIT! DON’T DO—GAH!”
“Oops… my bad. Maybe if I just.”
>“Gnnn, n-no, wait! Not there—NAAAAAH!”
“Hmmm, that didn’t help either. Maybe if I…”
>“NAAAA-AH-AH-AH!”
“Huh… that, kinda did it?”
>“M-mortal, heh… your… your suffering will be, unf... long and painful.”
“Says the mare that can’t catch me.”
>“That’s not—”
“And I appear to have a good hold of you… right here!”
>“GAH! THAT DOES IT!”

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:22:32 No.29006839 Report

Quoted By: >>29006847

>>29006829
>With a smile on her face, Fluttershy trots up the front path to Anon’s house, a pep in her step.
>So far this morning has been a good one.
>The sun is shining, she has a belly full of delicious breakfast, and she has a fetish guess today that is sure to win Anon over.

>Climbing the steps of the porch, she approaches the front door.
>Pausing in front of it, she takes a breath, runs over the idea one more time in her head, and then lifts her hoof.
>She knocks once, twice, thr—

>CRUNCH

>Suddenly, a large, sharpened blade emerges from the door right beside her head.
>It’s so close to her that bits of her mane get sheared off, the hair fluttering down to the ground.
>She stares at the quivering blade with eyes the size of dinner plates.
>A shriek comes from the other side of the door, and the blade is pulled back inside in a shower of splinters.

>Fluttershy continues to stare at the place where the blade had been, her pupils the size of pinpricks.
>Something warm trickles down her leg.
>Looks like she’s going to have to change her guess this morning.

>Opening and closing her mouth wordlessly, she eventually stutters out, “Is…. is w-watersports y-y-your feti—”

>Another shriek came from within, followed shortly by something large being thrown through the front window of the house.
>With a crunching noise, half of Anon’s favorite armchair landed in the yard.
>The other half followed a moment later.

>Fluttershy stared at the two halves of the armchair.

>plop

>“O-oh, um… i-is… is s-s-scat—”

>A portrait of Anon (one that she had drawn months ago) suddenly joined the armchairs in the yard, a large gash across the figure’s throat.
>Fluttershy took one look at the massive knife mark across the face of the painting and hightailed it out of there.

>“I’lljustcomebacktomorrowokayThanksbye!”

>An unearthly shriek echoes from the house, the wail chasing Fluttershy up the road and sending nearby birds flying in terror.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:23:51 No.29006847 Report

Quoted By: >>29006852

>>29006839
>Death slumps against the hallway wall, breathing heavily.
>From within her cloak, you do the same, still clinging to her sweaty body as if your life depends upon it… which, actually, it does.
>Though you can not see it from within your safe haven, your house is now completely trashed.
>Your various bits of furniture lay in ruins, scorch mark cover the carpets—most of them still smoking—and large gouges mark up the walls and ceilings.
>Death’s scythe is currently embedded in the mantle of your fireplace, in which purplish-blue fire is now burning.

>After a few minutes of silence, Death sighs.
>“You aren’t coming out of there, are you?” she asks.
“Are you still trying to off me?”
>“...”
“Well?”
>“I must do my jobs, regardless of your wants and desires.”
“Then fuck you, I’m staying put!”
>You squeeze her barrel even tighter.

>Death scrunches up her face.
>“Be reasonable, Anon. You can’t stay in there forever.”
“Challenge accepted!”
>“You do not have the willpower to pull this off. Eventually, you will get tired or bored. Why not just surrender now and save us both the hassle?”
“Ha! You’re talking to the guy that’s been systematically going through Twilight’s entire library collection and whiting-out the words of her books, one page a day. I’ve completely erased nearly forty books and she hasn’t noticed yet.”

>She groans before pushing herself off the wall.
>“I don’t have time for this,” she mutters under her breath. “I’m late for my next appointment.”
>Giving herself one last experimental shake, she sighs in defeat when you remain firmly within her cloak.
>“Fine, have it your way,” she growls, “but you can’t stay in there forever. You’ll have to come out of there eventually, and when you do, I’ll be waiting.”

>A loud farting noise comes from within the folds of the cloak as you blow a raspberry at her.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:25:05 No.29006852 Report

Quoted By: >>29006857

>>29006847
>Grumbling under her breath, she lights up her horn and, with the screech of metal, pulls her scythe free of the bricks that make up the fireplace.
>She checks the blade for damage before disappearing it in a burst of frost.
>Within the cloak, you shiver as a gust of cold air flows between the folds.
Then with a soft pop, the scythe appears within the cloak as well, though it’s a lot smaller than it had been.
>It hangs on a small clasp sewn onto the cloak’s interior, where it jostles and bumps against the decorative bones.

>“Word of advice,” she says as she begins to walk, “don’t cut yourself on the blade. Or do, if you’d like. It’d make my job a whole lot easier and take care of you in an instant.”

>You eye the miniature scythe warily.
“Why? What happens if I cut myself?”
>“You die.”
>Yeah… gonna put that right up there at the top of your ‘Things-To-Not Do’ list, right above eat Celestia’s cake and give Luna espresso.

>Death heads for your front door, but as she pushes it open, the hinges give out.
>With an echoing thud, the door falls upon the patio.
“What was that?”
>“Nothing,” Death answers quickly.
“Don’t ‘nothing’ me. What was that noise?”
>“Nothing,” she repeats.
>Grumbling darkly under your breath, you maneuver yourself around until you're clamped onto her chest.
>Twisting about, you poke your head out from the folds.
>Upon seeing your destroyed door, your eyes narrow.
“You’re paying for that.”

>“I most certainly am not!” she cries, staring down at your emerged head.
“Yes you are.”
>“No I’m not.”
“Then I want to speak to your manager!”
>“M-manager?!” she yelps, gaping at you. “I’m Death! I have no manager!”
“In that case, I’ll just leave a negative review. Zero out of ten, worst experience ever, never gonna use this service again.”
>She growls before taking a swipe at you, but you quickly duck back inside her cloak.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:26:09 No.29006857 Report

Quoted By: >>29006870

>>29006852
>“Still your tongue, naive,” she grunts. “I have more souls to harvest, and your shenanigans have already put me behind schedule.”
>With a hum, her horn begins to glow and the large book from before appears in front of her.
>She skims quickly through the pages, muttering to herself.

>“Got him, got him, got her, got him, got them, didn’t need to get him, someone else got her, got him, got him, got herself, got him… couldn’t get him.”
>She growls, and you can almost feel her glaring at you from behind the fabric of the cloak.

>“Now, let’s see,” she mutters.
>“Granny Smith, swallowing and choking on her dentures, was supposed to be picked up three hours ago.”
“Does that mean she’s still choking on them?”
>“Quiet you.”
“I could give her something else to choke on if you’d like.”
>“I said quiet!” she pauses, and you feel her chest vibrate as she hums to herself.
>“Now, which way is it to Sweet Apple Acres?”
>She’s silent for several long minutes, and you notice that her tail is flicking back and forth in agitation.

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:28:20 No.29006870 Report

Quoted By: >>29006888 >>29006894 >>29006980 >>29007974 >>29010456 >>29014483 >>29020762

>>29006857
>After a few more moments of silence, you speak up.
“You… you don’t know where it is, do you?”
>“...maybe.”
“How can you not know? You’re Death!”
>“I am not from this area, thank you very much!” she shouts. “I kindly ask that you keep your judgement to yourself!”
“...”
>“...”
“...”
>“...”
“Go down the path and take a left at the fork in the road.”
>“...thank you.”

>She does as you say, gliding silently down the path, heading for Sweet Apple Acres.
>Suddenly, an idea pops into your head and you grin.
“Hey, when we get there, can I be the one to reap her?”
>“We shall see.”
“Really?!”
>“No.”

>You grumble under your breath, but don’t press the issue.
>Death continues on her way, with you perched on her back beneath the cloak.
>All in all, not the strangest day you’ve had in Equestria, and hey! At least you can cross another item off your bucket list.

>After all, you’ve never ridden bareback on a hearse before.

>Fin

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:31:20 No.29006888 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006870
That was pretty good m8

I imagine the Sweet Apple Acres visit will be a bit awkward.
>"Hi Granny Smith! Are you ready to die? I'm death's assistant now!"

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 12KiB, 300x163

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:32:35 No.29006894 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006870
Nice story, got a good laugh out of me.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 05:49:06 No.29006980 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006870
You made me laugh like a retarded dolphin the whole way through good job.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 06:14:42 No.29007127 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006052
I was at work. I've sent you a request.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 07:43:26 No.29007504 Report

Quoted By: >>29007510

any recommendation!

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 07:44:44 No.29007510 Report

Quoted By: >>29007520

>>29007504
Suicide

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 07:48:19 No.29007520 Report

Quoted By:

>>29007510
you first

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 08:26:30 No.29007625 Report

Quoted By: >>29007639 >>29014490 >>29020762

>>29002998

>Day 1825 in Equestria

"Has it really been 5 years already?"
>"Yep!" Twilight says. "Seems like you only arrived yesterday doesn't it?"
>5 years here, so much time has gone by. So many memories made.

>And you're still a virgin. HOW?

>Wasn't that the whole point of coming here? So you could get some hot pone poon?
>Many other Anons were able to do just that! Almost instantaneously! Alot was promised from their adventures!
>What the fuck is wrong with this version of Equestria you got stuck with? Is it defective?

>Looking to Twilight, you say:
"Do you think I'll ever find someone who wants to fuck me?"
>Alarmed, Twilight quickly replies "WHERE DID THAT COME FROM!?"
"I don't know! Maybe all I ever wanted was a cute horse to hug my weenie with her bit maker. I've spent 5 years trying to get some but no one wants to do it!"
>"Anon." Twilight says. looking over to you. "Ask yourself this. Who in Equestria really wants to do something as taboo as having sex with a human?"

>"I DO!" Lyra yells off in the distance, unnoticed.

"I guess you're right."
>God damn ponys with standards.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1480759633813.gif, 185KiB, 129x129

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 08:31:41 No.29007639 Report

Quoted By:

>>29007625

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 10:22:05 No.29007947 Report

Quoted By: >>29007953

im looking at an old shitty piece of shit story i wrote a while ago and am thinking maybe i will tidy it up and write a continuation
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/26817708/#26819783

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 10:23:33 No.29007953 Report

Quoted By:

>>29007947
wait oops i called it shit twice its bad but its not that bad

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 10:31:59 No.29007974 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006870
Lots of chuckles from me, well done.

Zew

Zew Tue 06 Dec 2016 10:54:09 No.29008016 Report

Quoted By: >>29008027

>>28986864
>The next morning you’re up and about early, eager to get out of the hard and tiny bed in the hotel room you’d found
>You were up so early no one but the skeleton crew of workers needed to keep the station running were up
>Another benefit to being a bitch of science, you didn’t need much sleep, just 2 hours in a 24 hour cycle could keep you going in desperate situations
>The lack of people made leaving easy
>Situated back in your acceleration couch you calculate and provide a flight plan to the computer
>The sleek black metal ship pulls out and accelerates away at a tremendous pace, the gargantuan mining settlements fading to microscopic dots in the vastness of space
>You access your mission intel
>Whatever you were looking for had been lost mid-transit between systems
>Apparently the small armada of ships protecting it had come under attack
>They’d jettisoned off the thing through a warp jump before they’d been overrun
>Unfortunately the wormhole had been forcible closed, externally by the attackers, causing the damned thing to portal out at the wrong location
>Whoever the attackers were they must have some obscene tech to close a wormhole
>You had three possible destinations as to where the device may have appeared based off its last received transmission
>Sector S12, S09 and S16
>From the look of the spectroscopic analysis sector S12 had the gas giant with the greatest percentage of He-3, something you’d require to fuel your flight back, plus it wouldn’t hurt to actually scout for future settlement locations, because you know, money
>You send S12’s coordinates to the computer and fire up the Jump nodes
>StankButt’s acceleration increases further as an infinitesimally small event horizon opens up kilometres ahead of the ship
>The wormholes radius rapidly expands as the Jump nodes pour all their energistic power into tearing apart the reality of space-time
>Your craft slips into the spherical rip

Zew

Zew Tue 06 Dec 2016 11:00:13 No.29008027 Report

Quoted By: >>29008040

>>29008016
>Through the small windscreen of your ship nothing but white could be seen
>Extending the ship's sensor arrays gave no input
>The space between space tended to have nothing in it
>*WARNING! Event horizon within hazardous zone, temperatures exceed shield’s capacity. User action required IMMEDIATELY*
>Fuck! What?! What the hell was happening with the gas giant at sector S12?!
>*WARNING! User neural input insufficient. Performing emergency jump shutdown*
>…
>Wait what?
>*Ship eject in 3…2…1…*
>Oh fuck!
>The tunnel of space around you collapses as your ship rushes through
>The universe reappears
>Sensory arrays deploy as you check up on the star system
>The first thing you do is pinpoint the location you were meant to emerge
>It was just a few hundred million kilometres off course
>Damn that was really good. It was a surprise you’d even ended up in a star system at all, let alone the right one
>Having a look at your intended exit you realise the issue the computer had picked up on
>What the initial scans had thought was a gas giant had been a very small sun, it must have been obscured by something while they were taking the readings! God fucking damn that is a bitch
>But you’re grateful to be alive
>The guys who gave the go ahead for this system? Well once you got home they’d regret being alive, for a time at least
>You turn your attention to more pressing matters
>Not that what you’d just done took more than the time for a thought to enter your head
>The more pressing matter of course was your ships current position and the fact you were out of control
>Your ship was above the single planet in this system
>Just not above it in orbit
>You were under 600 meters from the surface
>You could see the nature and shrubbery below you without the aid of your ships sensors
>Fuck that’s too low

Zew

Zew Tue 06 Dec 2016 11:06:06 No.29008040 Report

Quoted By: >>29008049

>>29008027
>On instinct alone your mind sends a quick order to angle your now out of control ship towards a medium sized natural lake
>Your next action is to activate all the drag wings along the hull and blast your reverse thrusters
>You release as many modules from you ship as possible, the storage, living quarters, purification and recycling systems, extra ammunition, anything to lighten your craft
>Each pops from the fuselage of your ship and sails to the ground
>StankButt plunges into the lake with a splash imitating a miniature atomic detonation, virtually still impacting at full speed
>Thanks to your accel-couch you were spared from the massive impulse of the crash
>Only some of your ship's systems had managed to stay online
>Diagnostic capabilities were still enabled
>You set it into action and run through the damage report
>The lower hull was fucked beyond repair and multiple systems were offline, likely for good
>Too many systems just came up blank
>Something you’ll have to deal with later, because apparently water was rapidly rushing into the lower levels and your ships flotation buoys had yet to inflate
>The best thing you can try before thinking of abandoning ship is to turn it on and off again
>You signal for the ship's computer to restart
>When it does you’re temporarily left in pure black for what feels eternity, the quiet sounds of rushing water entering your ship below and the unsettling groans of the hull matching the mood with terrifying perfection
>The system attempts to restart multiple times, failing upon start up
>But you persist for a good ten minutes, sending initiation commands to the central computer
>Finally lights flicker back on and the ship judders as the buoys burst from their covers, expanding out into the murky depths as the ship come back online
>Slowly the craft beings to rise through the water
>With the system rebooted you run through diagnostics again

Zew

Zew Tue 06 Dec 2016 11:09:37 No.29008049 Report

Quoted By: >>29008058

>>29008040
>The second you connect fully you’re blasted with a warning message
>*30 seconds until Nodal meltdown*
>*User evacuation attempts: INADEQUATE*
>*Forced evacuation in 25 seconds*
>Having been cut from the Swallow so suddenly your Jump nodes had been overloaded with excess power and were about to light up
>And when they went, by god did they go
>*29 seconds until meltdown*
>You have to move fast
>Thank fuck most of your equipment was in the storage module you jettisoned, along with some ammunition
>Assuming they hadn’t vaporized on impact
>You tear from the couch before it can properly detach from you, strands of peculiar, almost living, fern like cloth pull at your skin before popping off and drifting back to the chair
>You sprint to a storage slot and pull out your hand held chemical projectile weapon, the Nix .50, it was more or less a modern analogue of the Old World Desert Eagles, and make for the exit with all the speed your enhanced body could manage
>The doors hiss open and you step out into the light
>At a first glance the lake you’re in is surrounded on all sides by dense shrubbery
>Something far off on the shore line stirs the bushes
>You don’t have time to inspect further as you jump up onto your ship’s roof
>Your feet thud heavily as you sprint up StankButt’s hull
>There was one last thing you needed before you could ditch this death trap
>*15 seconds*
>Thundering to a halt at a small dodecahedral outcropping on your ship you firmly wrap your hands around it
>Biosynthetically enhanced muscles strain at the effort and the outcropping quickly tears away
>It was the ship’s Warp beacon, your only hope and means of sending an FTL distress signal
>Pulling out your pistol you shoot the buoys
>*8 seconds*
>They deflate with a hiss
>The immense weight of the ship plus the water filled lower half quickly drags it back under

Zew

Zew Tue 06 Dec 2016 11:14:33 No.29008058 Report

Quoted By: >>29008087

>>29008049
>You startup your enhanced sprint again and dive as far from the rapidly sinking ship as possible
>You sail into the water which turns a thick bubbling white as you churn at it with your powerful legs, propelling you effortlessly from the heaping wreck
>*2 seconds*
>You reach the shore and turn around to see your craft had been completely submerged once more
>With it gone from view you can see directly across to the other side of the lake
>It’s there that you find the source of the previous stirring you’d noticed
>A pair of indigenous beasts were at the lake, likely getting a drink
>But the little guys were so adorable!! Some kind of horse analogue
>This place may not have a gas giant but it could make double the amount it would as a mining system if it were used for tourism
>Who wouldn’t pay thousands just to have a look at those guys, so cute!
>*1 second*
>Aw, the poor little things were going to get such a fright
>All inputs from the ship to your brain vanish, your mind feeling empty
>In mere moments a gargantuan sphere of destructive energy expands from what was once your ship
>All and any matter which made contact was sucked into the void between space-time, left to nothingness for all eternity
>As suddenly as it grew the sphere shrinks and disappears, all in complete silence
>Once it’d vanished half the lake had been drained of water, all of it sucked into the void
>Damn, here 30 seconds and you’re already giving it that old human touch, irreparably altering the environment
>Although it’s not your fucking god damn fault
>You’ll still be getting one hell of an earful for this though. God damn
>Those two adorable creatures had run off somewhere

Zew

Zew Tue 06 Dec 2016 11:22:51 No.29008087 Report

Quoted By: >>29009213 >>29014672

>>29008058
>You pull apart the casing on the Warp beacon and manually activate it
>It takes flight from your hand and vanishes into the sky
>The beacon should remain in orbit for a number of days, sending out its distress signal, but who knows when rescue would arrive? Or if it’d ever arrive
>The Warp beacon only broadcast on military frequencies, meaning you could only wait for official rescue, and that involved a lot of paperwork, therefore time
>Well then, it’s time to collect your shit, not that you’d had much left now
>Thankfully each module of your ship had its own electromagnetic tag, making locating your equipment beyond easy
>Unfortunately only two tags were left transmitting, the storage module and living quarters
>You set off into the brush with the plan to get situated on this new planet
>Which you’d yet to thank for being habitable, nothing would have pissed you off more than emerging to an atmosphere of sulphur, or a planet that rained molten metal
>Your supplies should consist of your armour, additional weapons and ammunition, dried food, and various operations equipment including a case of Neural nanonics
>The nanonics were specialised nanoscale tech wired directly to one’s brain, they’d been a leftover from the ship's previous operator, you already had military grade hardware installed
>You move out
>If your living quarters hadn’t vaporized on impact you wouldn’t need to worry about building your own shelter
>One could only hope, and the active tag was a good sign

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Hey Kid wanna ss.png, 152KiB, 787x1015

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 14:34:06 No.29008545 Report

Quoted By: >>29008552 >>29042171

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 610905__solo_rarity_solo+female_ (...).png, 879KiB, 1000x1200

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 14:38:16 No.29008552 Report

Quoted By: >>29008782

>>29008545
Nah, there's only room for one seductress in my life

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 15:58:00 No.29008782 Report

Quoted By: >>29009003

>>29008552
Rarity will never seduce you.
Rainbow Dash will never try to get you in the back of her van.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 17:01:55 No.29009003 Report

Quoted By: >>29042171

>>29008782
Fluttershy will never take you into the woods alone.
Pinkie will never trap you in the basement.
Twilight will never panic afterwards and attempt to hide your body.
Big Mac will never dump your drugged, anus bleeding form in front of the horsepital at three in the morning.
Applejack will never wonder why you are so twitchy all the time and why you avoid ponies.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 17:59:02 No.29009213 Report

Quoted By:

>>29008087
I remember that story from long ago.
There is more but you haven't posted it yet.
Have you wrote anything after that?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO WhatarewegiontodotonightPinkie.jpg, 183KiB, 1280x480

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 19:57:17 No.29009713 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 20:22:11 No.29009840 Report

Quoted By: >>29012293 >>29013789

>>29001111
>be me

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO twi_angry1.png, 1MiB, 1920x1080

Anonymous Tue 06 Dec 2016 21:14:36 No.29010169 Report

Quoted By: >>29010187

>>28970374
Been a week since the last update, sorry, but Path of Exile has taken up too much of my time. Anyways, continuing.

>You’ve been walking for about three hours now, making good progress. Twiggy Piggy lags a little bit, but can fly up hills, more than making up for her time and keeping her fresh.
>You’d made the decision to keep provisions to yourself once it became apparent that most of Twilight’s “edible” plants were grasses and leaves completely indigestible for humans.
>You break for lunch in a small grassy clearing. Apparently grazing is deemed barbaric in pony culture, so Twilight instead uproots a patch of grass and puts it on a plate.
“Enjoying your meal over there?”
>It’s quite evident that she’s not. “No, anon, and I don’t appreciate you holding your meal over my head.”
>Your food mostly consisted of apples and apple accessories. Not the most nutritious meal plan, but tasteful. A benefit of living in a town where the staple crop is something sweet. You also had some expensive multivitamins to ensure that you wouldn’t drop dead from malnutrition either.
“Perhaps if you stocked less books and more practical backpacking, err, saddlebagging equipment, you wouldn’t have to settle for grass.”
>With no response immediately forthcoming, you look around. The woods here are wild, but not as the Everfree. The hilly terrain and abundance of seasonal vegetation reminds you of Appalachia.
“Hey, Twilight?”
>”Yes, Anon?”
“Why is there no settlement in this country? The landscape is rich and obviously fertile, and if it’s anything like its counterparts on my world, it’s probably loaded with natural resources too.”
>”At this point, it’s mostly due to tradition and superstition. But up until a century ago the magical fallout from some of Starswirl’s more unstable experiments prevented stable habitation.”

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Tue 06 Dec 2016 21:17:16 No.29010187 Report

Quoted By: >>29010197 >>29010248

>>29010169
(Fuck, forgot to change that first line. Read it as ten hours.)

This alarms you, and you immediately wonder if ponies have Geiger counters, and if you should be equipped with one. “Fallout? What kind of fallout? Radioactive fallout?”
>”No, Anon, magical fallout. We didn’t even know what radiation was before you told us, remember?”
>She sees that you’re only slightly calmed by this explanation, and elaborates, “Powerful magic occasionally does strange things in this forest. It gets stronger as you get closer to Starswirl’s tower. Most of what remains nowadays is occasional chaos magic.”
“So, like Discord? Could these trees turn into hulking monsters at a moment’s notice?”
>”Doubtful. The worst we’ll probably see is the odd patch of Poison Joke, although we should probably be watchful just in case.”
>After further reassuring, Twilight convinces you to continue further. She agrees to write down any anomalies in her journal for you to research later.
>For three days you hike onward, and by the end of the third night, you’re only about a kilometer from the tower. It’s dinner time again under the protective magic bubble.
“How do they even get guards and supplies out this far, anyways? Do they live in the tower?”
>Twilight looks up from her salad of tasteless grass and leaves. “For strong pegasus ponies, it’s only about a 12-hour trip by flight. All but one of the guards are pegasi, since they’re effective enough at stopping intruders. One unicorn lives on-site for anywhere from one to five years at a time, as the captain.”
“What about provisions, though? How are they all fed?”
>She simply looks down at her bowl of greens and back up to you.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Tue 06 Dec 2016 21:18:22 No.29010197 Report

Quoted By: >>29010222 >>29010248

>>29010187
“Right. So then this path is only trodden down once every few years?” Explains a lot of the obstacles and delays.
>”Most ponies are still too scared of the magic that laces this forest, even more than the Everfree. Although, as you’ve seen, it’s in reality much less dangerous.”
>It’s true, your trip was fairly uneventful. The only noteworthy magical occurrence was when a tree uprooted itself, turned 360 degrees vertically midair, and then replanted itself in the same position.
“Yeah. You should really encourage settlement here, I guarantee there’s either ore or fossil fuels beneath the surface.”
>You’d made a pretty penny by designing and selling the rights to the gasoline-powered motor. Although you may have greatly accelerated the industrial revolution here, you’re slightly concerned about oil conflicts in the near future.
>”Perhaps, but we’d need better infrastructure first. This road definitely won’t do for those purposes.”
>She tucks her legs under her like pic related. A sign that pony is tired and ready for sleep.
“Let’s hit the sack now, and get up early tomorrow. I’d like to get started searching the tower at the first opportunity.”
>You truthfully didn’t know exactly how large this tower was, as you still had a sizable mountain obscuring your view ahead. If it was especially large, you would want all the time you could get to search through it.
>Purple pony yawns in agreement, “Couldn’t have said it better myself. ‘Nite, Anon!”

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Tue 06 Dec 2016 21:20:47 No.29010222 Report

Quoted By: >>29010227

>>29010197
>The following morning you break camp quickly and set out. It takes less than an hour to reach the perimeter fence. It’s new and of strong construction, there must have been renovations. Their tall height and intertwined metal wire leave no doubts that someone or something is being kept out.
>The road leads straight to a gate in the fence, where both a small guard tower and barracks are located. A male voice sounds from the tower.
>”Halt! This is a protected area. Identify yourself and state your business.”
>You let Twilight handle the formalities. “Princess of Friendship Twilight Sparkle, and servant. We’re here to investigate the tower and conduct research.”
>Servant?
>You can’t clearly see the guard, but a shape moves in the tower, and the gate opens.
>At last you get a glimpse of the tower. It is old and crumbling, although it appears structurally sound. It’s not as large as you’d hoped, perhaps even a bit small, but certainly larger than most illustrations.
>As you walk through, the guard flies down to greet you personally, and the gate closes behind you.
>”Forgive my brunt welcome, your Highness.” As always, Twilight is visibly bothered by ponies acknowledging her royalty. “The journey must have been long if you have brought a creature such as this with you. How is the road? We’ve not had someone travel it since Captain Cream joined us three years ago.”
>”The journey was fine, thanks. And the ‘creature’ is actually my friend and colleague, Anonymous. He invented the motor powering your gate.”
>You were aware that the technology had spread wide and far where unicorns could not power mechanical devices, but were honestly surprised to see it this far out.
“Yes, which means your defenses must be fairly new. Why the security? As you said, there isn’t anyone out here.”

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Tue 06 Dec 2016 21:21:49 No.29010227 Report

Quoted By: >>29010248

>>29010222
>The guard shakes his head and points to the high fences. “Nopony, sure, but there are still creatures out there that give us trouble. Most of the worst ones are gone now, so this fence keeps most of ‘em out.”
>As he finishes his sentence, a male unicorn with a light tan coat and chestnut mane emerges from the barracks. Captain Cream, presumably.
>”Visitors! I never thought I’d see the day.” He looks you up and down, but continues before you get a chance to respond. “Although certainly not the type of party I’d expect. Are you Princess Twilight? If so, forgive me, I’ve only been able to hear of you through our recently-arrived guards. What are you here for, if you don’t mind me prying? Whatever it is, I’m sure we can help.”
>A talkative fellow, that one.
>Twilight speaks up before you, “We’re here for research, actually. Is there anything we should know before heading into the tower?”
>He considers for a moment, and then once again unleashes a torrent of words. “Not really, we never go into the tower unless there’s need to. The only time that’s happened in the last fifty years or so was two years ago when some birds had made a nest in the top floor window. Can’t have something like that in a historical landmark! But, if you need us, just send a shout, I have a few spells on this place so that we can be kept aware whenever something happens. Also, you big tall thing, do mind your head, I doubt most of the ceilings are tall enough to accommodate you.”

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO rar_loaf.jpg, 87KiB, 600x600

Handsome Jew Tue 06 Dec 2016 21:25:20 No.29010248 Report

Quoted By: >>29013500 >>29020762

>>29010227
>Nowadays, most buildings were tall enough for you due to pegasi being considered in their design, but an old structure like this would probably require you to duck your head.
You decide to cut this conversation short to save time. “Thank you then, we’ll be on our way. Have a good afternoon.”
>The tower is located in the center of a large, flat valley. The trees around it have mostly been cleared, as opposed to the dense forest which seems to go on for miles in all directions around you. Instead, a comfy meadow with warm summer flowers graces your final walk to the building.
>The front door has obviously been replaced, as its wood is nowhere near as rotted as you would expect from a building this age. Or perhaps the unicorns have a spell that stops its decay?
>You opt to go first, ducking your head to enter. The door creaks loudly, but opens without much resistance. The interior, at least on this floor, is devoid of windows and thus pitch black.
“Twilight, could you please put up a light?”
>Purple light emanates from her horn, illuminating the dusty interior. Books, inventions, and strange devices are everywhere, and remarkably well-preserved. The place has barely been touched since its sole inhabitant passed.

End update, more tomorrow or Thursday. PB: http://pastebin.com/pUGK5fhy
>>29010187
I fucked up the organization, my bad, there's supposed to be a post split here where three days pass.
>>29010197
>pic related
I fuck everything up

User !gGu8.icMHg

User !gGu8.icMHg Tue 06 Dec 2016 21:58:00 No.29010456 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006870
http://pastebin.com/999cZv1m

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 00:11:51 No.29011396 Report

Quoted By: >>29011609

What if Anon is a Russian teenager who learned basic, broken English through CS:GO?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 00:44:27 No.29011609 Report

Quoted By:

>>29011396
he'd be a Russian teenager who learned basic, broken english from cs go

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 02:22:39 No.29012293 Report

Quoted By:

>>29009840
pastebin?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 03:01:29 No.29012632 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001284
I kek'd. More scenarios of Anon getting flashbacks when?

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO twi_you_gonna_read_that.png, 730KiB, 1182x1024

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 04:57:34 No.29013500 Report

Quoted By: >>29013504

>>29010248
Ended up writing more because I had the time and inspiration. If only I could do as much on my manuscript...

>There must be a spell in place to stop the decomposition of so much paper. Perhaps you should’ve been more surprised to find it all rotted away.
>Of course, this is just the cramped ground floor. A living room of sorts, evidenced by the couch, chair, and small table. These too, however, are covered in notes, books, and devices.
>Assuming this is how he left it all, Starswirl obviously did not expect his demise.
>”Ho-ly shit.” Twilight’s cusses are rare, and generally well-deserved. “There’s so much just in this one room! A primitive ultraviolet magic detector! Experimental magic receptacles! Blueprints for machines and vehicles I could never hope to dream up.”
>She was right, and you were equally awestruck. Some of the blueprints and devices bear a striking resemblance to technologies not developed until the 1900’s on Earth. Of course, these are all magic-based.
>It’s much like how you imagined Da Vinci’s workshop to be.
“Wow. It is pretty fucking incredible.” You’re about to pick something up, but pause, “I’m gonna defer to your judgement before I touch anything. Some of this might be incredibly fragile What do you think?”
>Although she can barely contain her excitement, she lets out a sigh and agrees. “Yeah, probably best to keep our hooves off. The books, however, will not be spared!”
>With that, Book Horse delves into a book, sporadically squealing with delight and launching discoveries at you. “Wow! He knew about the critical energy effect of magic centuries before anyone else! Oh, and here, he talks about applying it to the fourth Fillydelphian Law of Magic! Also unknown for centuries after this tome’s writing!”

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 04:58:36 No.29013504 Report

Quoted By: >>29013509

>>29013500
“I thought his writings were all stored in the Royal Archives?”
>”I thought so too, but evidently some of it was left behind. There are some variables and concepts here that even I don’t know about, and I’m, like, the third highest authority in Equestria on magic.”
>She reluctantly puts down her book and stands up. “Perhaps his unfinished writings were never copied. If that’s the case, we definitely need to look around more. I’ll probably just ditch as many of my books as needed and transcribe them myself.”
“That sounds like a pretty time-intensive project.”
>She rolls her eyes. Normally the gesture doesn’t bother you, but from most ponies, it’s just all the more pronounced at dinner plate sizes. “Maybe for you, Anon, but I can just cast a duplication spell. We’ve been over this, it’s how we can copy so many books without the printing press.”
>Of course. Another device you wished to “invent” but it never caught on. The sole prototype is currently in use at the Foal Free Press.
>The room you’re in is relatively small, but the only one on this floor. A winding staircase cuts floor space from the sides, with ascending steps to the right and the entrance to a basement on the left.
>Twilight gives the room another look-around before moving towards the ascending flight of stairs. “I’m sure there’s plenty to occupy us here, but it’s really just the guest room. There’s probably so much more everywhere else.”
>The stairs, thankfully, have a stone base and are easily climbed. You hit your head on the ceiling on the third step.
“Ah! Shit! Stupid pony architecture…”
>Ignoring you, Twilight continues moving upwards. Thanks for the concern, I’m fine, don’t worry.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 04:59:38 No.29013509 Report

Quoted By: >>29013515

>>29013504
>The next floor is unremarkable, apparently Starswirl’s living space. A Spartan sleeping space and kitchen take up most of the room, with a small dresser and personal book case at the end of the room. A small balcony is the only source of light on the floor, cleverly positioned to keep the sun shining in at all daylight hours.
>Although you’re ready to move on, Twilight’s having a field day. You keep forgetting that this is the ancient home of her idol, and she’s now one of only a handful of ponies to have ever seen its interior in millennia.
>”Anon! Look! Look! This is where he ate dinner! Only one chair, that’s kind of sad. But still AWESOME! What kind of magic do you think is in it?”
“I think it’s just a chair, Twili-“
>”And look, wow! There’s a book on his nightstand, with a marker on a page!”
>She eagerly picks it up and begins reading the page. You catch a glimpse of the cover, ’50 Shades of Hay.’ Like most coincidental horse puns that occurred in this world, you can safely assume that the topic of the book closely resembles its earthly counterpart.
“Much as I’d like to read through a riveting tale such as that, we have, like, at least three more floors to explore. And you’re my flashlight.”
>And so once again, Twilight pries herself away from a book and leads the ascent to a higher floor of the tower.
>The next floor will likely be the most valuable to you. It is a workshop of sorts, although the walls are entirely covered in cabinets and bookshelves. Diagrams, drawings, essays, and reference material are scattered about, haphazardly at first glance but somewhat organized on further inspection.
>You can see Twilight itching to read every last letter in the room, and so quickly push her to the steps to the final above-ground level.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:00:40 No.29013515 Report

Quoted By: >>29013524

>>29013509
>At the top of the tower is an observatory, although it is much less well-kept than the other floors. This is probably due to the large windows and balconies that surround most sides of the room. To your surprise, the roof also appears to open up, and you realize that it is not made of tiles but rather wooden scales which can be retracted.
>A total of five telescopes can be found in the room, although the smallest and largest ones are both broken. Unfortunately, there are still many hours of daylight left, and an investigation of the surprisingly advanced optical devices will likely have to wait for later.
>The view, however, can be appreciated immediately.
“Twilight, look at that. Starswirl certainly had an excellent view of the landscape from here.” The south view is certainly the better of the two, and in truth the valley is something of a horseshoe in shape. While hills block off the north past a mile or two, you can see south towards a large and desolate prairie.
>”I suppose. It’s just that you lose an appreciation for sweeping vistas when you can fly.”
“Well that’s a shame. Are those the Badlands, to the south?”
>She comes to the southern balcony before giving a firm nod of affirmation. “Like I said, less than a day’s hike to the end of the world. Out there, the changelings are often the least of your troubles.”
>The two of you soon abandon the upper floors to head down to the basement. You’re not entirely sure what to expect, but it’s likely to be sizable. A tower like this can’t easily stand without something rooting it down.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:01:43 No.29013524 Report

Quoted By: >>29013533

>>29013515
>After descending the ground floor’s left set of stairs, you immediately realize that the basement is multi-leveled, as a second set of stairs is placed directly to the side of the first.
>The room has also lost the confined, circular fashion that defines the rest of the structure. It is much larger, and rectangular in shape. That, however, is not what surprises you. The room also has short hallways leading out on three sides, towards areas that appear to be much larger.
>You and Twilight begin to head down the right corridor, as you can discern a source of natural light nearby it. A few paces later, and you realize the exact nature of the basement.
>You turn to Twilight, who is visibly shaking with her tail between her legs. “I… I’ve never seen a private library like this.”
>Before you is a massive, multi-leveled library which puts even the one in her castle to shame. The entry room and hallways were merely a foyer, and the platform you stand on the centerpiece of the massive complex. The room must be three hundred meters long on each side, and further rooms and hallways lead off from the lower levels. Enormous columns of smooth, gray stone rise from the floor two stories below to the ceiling, intricately adorned with figures of ponies and other creatures. You recognize some fables on them, such as the telling of Hearthswarming vertically across one of the pillars.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:02:52 No.29013533 Report

Quoted By: >>29013540

>>29013524
>The entire area is naturally lit, with holes bored in strategic locations across the ceiling that allow light to filter in. They’re small enough to be hidden by the meadow outside, but large enough to dimly light even the lower floors. There is also a large opening in one of the room’s corners, allowing light to flood in and illuminate the partially-ruined wing below. The rest of the place, however, appears pristine.
>Breaking with the gloomy cobblestone present in the foyer and upper tower, the entire interior seems to be composed of smooth marble, granite, and gray stone to match the pillars. It is also cleverly designed so that each floor is easily accessible, yet provides a view of the center through carefully-patterned placement of its stone bookcases. The entire place appears majestic, and more royal than many parts of Canterlot.
>And just to top it all off, to place the finishing touches on this idyllic scene, four streams of water run out from each side of the foyer directly below the platform you stand on, creating a massive artificial fountain visible from almost everywhere in the library. Adorned along the banks and center of its channels are expertly-made marble sculptures, depicting ponies in battle, laughter, sport, or simply going about their lives. These are also present on the upper-floor balcony you and Twilight stand on.
“Even on Earth we don’t have places like this…” you say to yourself more than your companion. “Why didn’t you tell me about this? I’m never going to have enough food to sort through all of these… Twilight?”
>Twilight is still staring, mouth agape, at the rows and rows of library shelves stretched out before her. Cartoon ponies certainly live up to the appearance of this world with cartoonishly exaggerated expressions.

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO twi_expectant.png, 422KiB, 812x812

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:04:13 No.29013540 Report

Quoted By: >>29013551

>>29013533
“Hey, Twilight, snap out of it.” You snap your fingers twice in front of her. “Did you even hear me?”
>”Y-yeah Anon, I h-heard you…” She slowly corrects her posture and replies without looking away from the library below, “I’ve just honestly never seen any reference to this place. I mean, the records mention him having a private library, but I thought that was just what we saw in the aboveground tower!”
“The Princess of Reading missing out on a place like this? For shame.”
>”Anon, I really don’t understand how you can joke at a time like this. This place is unknown to us! There could be so much down there that even the Royal Archives doesn’t have!”
>She finally turns around with an expression of unrestrained joy on her face. “I can’t believe I never came here before! I just feel so silly for never even, just, wow!”
“Hey, don’t forget who got you to come here in the first place.”
>She surprises you by jumping over and hugging your waist with a tight squeeze. “Thank you so much Anon!”
>You just smile, bend over, pick her up, and give her a real hug.
“Don’t forget, you’re helping me out too. Thanks for agreeing.”
>“A-non!” She grunts out, seemingly out of breath. “You’re squishing me.”
>Oh, right. No matter how many times you give a pony a bear hug you forget that they’re not really built for that kind of squeeze.
“Sorry.” You gently put her down next to you. “So… Where do we start? I don’t even know what to do in a place like this.”
>Twilight smiles. “How about in the history section. Let’s learn where this place came from.”

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO twi_book_bed.webm, 486KiB, 1280x720

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:05:16 No.29013551 Report

Quoted By: >>29013572 >>29032214 >>29034184

>>29013540
>Nine hours later, the sun has almost set and you and Twilight have pored over history books. Even skimming books and skipping known tomes, you’ve only touched a fraction of the literature in that section.
>About an hour in you managed to find a book all about the library itself. Apparently, Starswirl was remarkably well-paid as the greatest wizard to ever live, and his benefactors were not limited to the state. Wealthy ponies – and individuals of other races – showered him with gifts in exchange for the occasional insight on his research.
>However, Starswirl was a pony who lived within his means, preferring to live a Spartan lifestyle in his tiny, backwoods tower. So what was he to do with all the money he earned? About twelve years before his death, he began to pour it into the construction of the greatest library the world had ever seen.
>However, construction kept meeting delays, and the library was only finished and fully stocked a month or two before Starswirl died. He’d only acknowledged its completion to a few benefactors, and the grand opening ceremony was slated for half a year later.
>And so, nothing more than reports of a library in the woods surfaced in Canterlot or anywhere else, and only Starswirl and the minotaur construction team (who had been specially commissioned) knew of its full scale. The book itself was hastily transcribed by one of the workers, at Starswirl’s request.
>You and Twilight had begun to outline a plan to go through the library and tower. You were definitely going to need more than a few days here, and would have a letter sent out to make sure neither Celestia nor Twilight’s friends in Ponyville would be concerned at a prolonged absence.
>But, first thing’s first, you have to consult the guard.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO IMG_6445.jpg, 19KiB, 285x310

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:07:28 No.29013568 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001111
>be anon
>day xd in equsteakn
>sleeping
>dog comes
>then aj
>tell her to fuck off
>go sleep

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:07:52 No.29013572 Report

Quoted By: >>29016823 >>29019402 >>29020762 >>29032214

>>29013551
Alright that's it for tonight. Comments/criticisms/compliments always welcome. Other anons, write more green, Make AiE Great Again! After all, even if it's shit and you get embarrassed, you're posting as anon or can just make a new name. You might even be good at it and enjoy it

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:40:32 No.29013759 Report

Quoted By: >>29014036 >>29014838 >>29031349

>"Hey Anon, what are you doing?"
>"What are you planning with that freaky finger thing of yours?"
*boop*
>"Heh, all right, you got me. Now about this-"
*boop*
>"Alright, once was enough, we got work to do."
*boop*
>"Cut it out Anon, the joke's over."
*boop*
>"What is your major malfunction today?"
*boop*
>"Anon, I swear to Celestia, if you do that one more bucking time..."
*boop*
>Hospital.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO So Beautiful.png, 117KiB, 473x342

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 05:45:49 No.29013789 Report

Quoted By:

>>29009840

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 06:38:31 No.29014036 Report

Quoted By:

>>29013759
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y75GoxDdimo

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 08:32:24 No.29014327 Report

Quoted By:

>>29001111
I contributed in the anon was a dragon thread but I got RLed and thread was killed when I got back

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 09:33:04 No.29014483 Report

Quoted By:

>>29006870
MYYY SIDDDEE!

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 09:34:06 No.29014490 Report

Quoted By:

>>29007625
>"I DO!" Lyra yells off in the distance, unnoticed.
Kek

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 09:45:08 No.29014522 Report

Quoted By: >>29014647

>>29002998
I'm crying. how many years i been staying here?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1464456160740.png, 609KiB, 1024x768

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 10:43:47 No.29014647 Report

Quoted By: >>29014733

>>29014522
Not enough. Get back to work.

Zew

Zew Wed 07 Dec 2016 11:09:35 No.29014672 Report

Quoted By: >>29014674

>>29008087
>Not five minutes into your romp through the native vegetation do you realise you’re being followed
>You activate your Neural nanonics to filter out most of the noise around you aside from that of the soft rustling from behind
>By the sound alone there were two of them, four legged, not very large
>It couldn’t be those adorable ponies from before could it?
>Your head darts around but there’s nothing there
>Your enhanced eyes straining against the thick shrubbery yields nothing but shadows
>You continue onwards to the little marker flashing in your vision
>Technology is magic
>And whatever was following you was soon to find out that would be a harder task than they’d anticipated

<| °_° |>

>You had no idea what it was, you had no desire to know what it was, all you knew was it couldn’t be good
>”SWEET CELESTIA! Ratch it destroyed the lake! We have to get it for that! I liked swimming in there!” Your zealous friend yells as she jumps about
”Did you not just fucking see what happened! What that thing did!? And it was huge! I don’t wanna mess with it.” you bleat back to Sky, desperate to avert her growing intent
>You really did not want to tangle with whatever /that/ was
>”What it did? The alien didn’t do anything! It was the massive black triangle which did it, the alien’s just a weak wimp who made it blow-up.”
>As Horizon Sky continue ranting and raving about getting back at the creature you can only think of one thing
>You focus back on Horizon, who was still going on about something

Zew

Zew Wed 07 Dec 2016 11:10:39 No.29014674 Report

Quoted By: >>29014679

>>29014672
“What did you say before?”
>She stops and looks at you annoyed
>”Weren’t you listening again Ratchet, I swear you zone out way too much sometimes.”
“I know but what did you call the thing? An alien?”
>The word itself sparked a little excitement inside of you
>Mainly at the prospect of super advanced technologies you could reproduced and use to form the most powerful company in the known world of Equis
>”Of course I called it an alien, it fell from a hole in the sky and exploded, what else does that?”
“Fair point.”
>If it truly were an alien, then that would make the triangle his spaceship
>Now if you recall correctly that thing just disappeared with half your lake
>Then that would mean
“Oh no…”
>”What, what is it?” your excitable friend enquiries
“We can’t hurt it, we have to help it. If he’s an alien then he just crash landed; he’s stranded on our world!”
>Sky’s anger flows away with the breeze, worried concern washing over to replace it
>She dives at you and pulls your face as close to hers as possible without fusing them, all the while shouting at you, spittle flying over your forehead and muzzle
>”WE NEED TO HELP IT!”
>As quick as that she vanishes into the underbrush

Zew

Zew Wed 07 Dec 2016 11:14:11 No.29014679 Report

Quoted By: >>29014685

>>29014674
>Sky had outpaced you during your gallop to the other side of the lake
>So as your hooves clatter to a stop you find her anxiously waiting for you beside the appallingly obvious tracks left behind by the alien
>”Hehe, this one must be a real fatty, look how deep their hooves sank into the dirt!”
>Her hoof presses down into the print
“Uhh, I don’t think those are hooves Sky.”
>The hoofprints were weird, a kind of bean shape with five little circles at the front
>”No duh! What else was I meant to call them?”
“Bean hooves?” you suggest
>She doesn’t reply, instead walking beside the tracks, leaving you to your lonesome
>Fair enough
“Hey wait up!”
>Rushing to catch up to Sky you notice something pressed into the muddy soil
>It was a, ah? Um? Well you had no idea but it was flat, rectangular, shiny and had a glowing purple outline
>Magical alien tech? You’ll be having that!
>Small rectangle now in your little side pouch you move up to your friend, who had decided to wait for you after realising you weren’t following
>“Will you hurry up! By the look of it they’re only walking, but their stride is almost double ours.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know we have to help this thing, but come on, aren’t you even a little scared? Not even just apprehensive?”
>She just stares at you like you’re a fool
>You could see the thoughts passing through her mind
>*How could Ratchet even think that?*, probably because you understood preservation of self
>”No?”
“How do you work?”
>She grins
>”Come on nincompoop, let’s go”

<| °_° |>

>Despite its size the alien hadn’t covered much ground
>Coincidentally it was its size itself which had been slowing the thing down
>The vegetation may not be that restricting for yourself or Sky, but quite obviously the alien wasn’t enjoying it
>Or that was your assessment after seeing the massive hole ploughed through the forest
>”Is he angry?”
“Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

Zew

Zew Wed 07 Dec 2016 11:18:55 No.29014685 Report

Quoted By: >>29014740 >>29014833 >>29020402

>>29014679
>She glares at you
>”No need to be a dick.”
>Your head shakes, dispelling Sky’s assumption
“Not what I meant. I can see it way down there.”
>Your hoof directs your friend to a currently thrashing segment of the forest off in the distance
>A few glimpses of the black and gold alien could be seen amongst the movement
“If we sneak up and watch it we can see how best to deal with this, if it’s angry well… It destroyed half the lake so…”
>Sky’s normally cheery face droops with worry as she continues watching the furious thrashing
>”You know what, sneaking sounds good.”
>The two of you draw as close as you’d dare and watch eagerly
>Up closer you realise what you’d originally thought to be a coat of black and gold was actually a peculiar one-piece article of clothing
>The alien itself didn’t even have a coat!
>By the more ‘Angular’ shape of it you’d say it was a male
“He looks like a tall minotaur had a baby with a hairless ape.”
>Sky doesn’t reply
>You tear your gaze from the alien to look over to her
>She was gone
>Your eyes dart about searching wildly for your friend
>Where was she? Had the alien got her? You’d been watching him this entire time so there was no way!
>You spot her even further ahead, slinking ever closer, laying low to the ground
“What do you think you’re doing!?” you angrily whisper
>Her head twists over to look at you
>”He doesn’t look mad, he just causes a lot of destruction, besides.”
>She turns back to the alien
>”He’s so adorable! Just look at the cute massive thing, and those tiny eyes! Can we take it back to the village? I promise I’ll feed it and everything!”
>The mare gives off a high pitch squee and shuffles closer, not willing to even wait for your response
>Which would have been an automatic no-fucking-way
>Besides wouldn’t it be sapient? It’s an alien
>And how in Tartarus was that thing cute? It looked like a killing machine, a dragon with no scales

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 11:45:39 No.29014733 Report

Quoted By:

>>29014647
O-ok.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 11:47:37 No.29014740 Report

Quoted By:

>>29014685
>dragon with no scales
Don't worry babe, you gonna see Junio Anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 12:44:45 No.29014833 Report

Quoted By:

>>29014685
Moar please?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 12:46:13 No.29014838 Report

Quoted By:

>>29013759
>hospital
Its Horsepital good sir

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 15:44:59 No.29015235 Report

Quoted By: >>29015316 >>29015548 >>29015728

>>28995976
No TV and no internet make Anonymous something something.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 16:09:35 No.29015316 Report

Quoted By: >>29015348 >>29015361 >>29015818

>>29015235
Where is green when Equestria havae Internet or 4pony?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO WE9roRC.png, 491KiB, 1269x6072

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 16:17:30 No.29015348 Report

Quoted By: >>29015446

>>29015316
Tex and I did that a while back.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 16:21:02 No.29015361 Report

Quoted By: >>29015446 >>29021952

>>29015316
http://pastebin.com/Vt1qUpJP

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 16:49:38 No.29015446 Report

Quoted By:

>>29015348
>>29015361
I came.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 17:18:41 No.29015548 Report

Quoted By:

>>29015235
Wait till you see the menu. Hope you enjoy being a vegetarian, too.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pony.png, 661KiB, 1153x799

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 18:09:22 No.29015728 Report

Quoted By:

>>29015235
Go crazy?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1417048315995.png, 35KiB, 864x864

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 18:39:53 No.29015818 Report

Quoted By:

>>29015316

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO DrinkingwithTex.gif, 1MiB, 300x168

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 20:30:17 No.29016249 Report

Quoted By: >>29016813

I miss Tex.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 22:32:21 No.29016813 Report

Quoted By:

>>29016249
Goto general, say hi

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Wed 07 Dec 2016 22:33:55 No.29016823 Report

Quoted By: >>29017157 >>29017170 >>29017420 >>29017427 >>29019402 >>29020646

>>29013572

>Pastebin gets dozens of hits
>No feedback
C'mon cunts

Mandroid

Mandroid Wed 07 Dec 2016 23:33:36 No.29017157 Report

Quoted By: >>29017859

>>29016823
Welcome to my fucking life.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 07 Dec 2016 23:37:37 No.29017170 Report

Quoted By:

>>29016823
Bots. I have random shit i have never shared on mine and its at between 50-100 views.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 00:20:36 No.29017420 Report

Quoted By:

>>29016823
I think you're handsome.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 00:21:49 No.29017427 Report

Quoted By:

>>29016823

I want to do a collab with you.

And by collab I mean I want to put my penis into your penis.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1356486457361.jpg, 51KiB, 250x260

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 01:23:53 No.29017859 Report

Quoted By: >>29018476

>>29017157

It's only because I don't speak Latin, and all texts must be written in Latin when discussing the Word of God.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 02:51:45 No.29018476 Report

Quoted By:

>>29017859
Ipstay edorafay

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 05:41:41 No.29019402 Report

Quoted By: >>29019476

>>29013572
>>29016823

I don't understand how you can write so much, so quickly, and not have it be of average quality or worse. I think eventually I'll get my lazy ass up, and then back down and try to write something.

You totally missed the opportunity to make Anon and Twilight's journey interesting imo, but maybe you did that on purpose

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO rar_string.gif, 263KiB, 515x443

Handsome Jew Thu 08 Dec 2016 05:56:21 No.29019476 Report

Quoted By: >>29019573

>>29019402
Indeed, only wanted to set the setting with the journey and emphasize the remote location. I write web content as a source of side income, and years of that has taught me how to write original content quickly with minimal errors. I haven't actually had to proofread an essay since freshman year of high school. If you'd like to try your hand at it, there are many websites out there with varying standards of quality for their writers. For example, Constant-Content allows you to write about whatever you damn well please and lists individual articles for sale, but they have high standards. Sites like iWriter have virtually no standards but pay jack shit. There are many out there you can try out, although most require you to be a native English speaker.

Writing as a hobby helps you learn to enjoy it, but writing to put bread on the table teaches you to be efficient with it.

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:08:34 No.29019573 Report

Quoted By: >>29019663

>>29019476

Wait, you can make money doing this shit?! Say whaaaaaat?

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:26:02 No.29019663 Report

Quoted By:

>>29019573
Not sure if sarcasm or not. If so, yes, easily. It's how 13-year-old me got his first gayming PC. Generally, even as a beginner, you shouldn't take anything less than $.0075/word or so, and once you have an established profile you can ramp that up. If you're a good enough writer for Constant-Content, which you probably are if you're a tripfag, you can make $.08/word starting.

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:31:27 No.29019682 Report

Quoted By: >>29019687

PREVIOUSLY: http://pastebin.com/kpXCZbqx

>After a long, drawn out comical sequence, the two of you are released.
"Wow, Twilight! I sure am glad you're a powerful archmage! Otherwise we'd be stuck in that hospital while they did evil experiments on us!"
>"Indeed! And I am glad you're so strong, that you were able to fight off Doctor Foal...napper...colt and rescue me! That was so exciting."
>The two of you burst into laughter as you make your way back to Twilight's castle.
>It may be a horrible blemish on the face of Ponyville and even all of Equestria, but...
>No, basically you still hate it.
>Twilight grew to like it because her friends did some kind of memory nonsense up in the main hall, but you remain unconvinced.
>In any case, you made your way back.
>Both you and Twilight are almost shaking with excitement.
>She's excited to see what sort of alien knowledge came through via her magic.
>And as for you, even though you gave up on your old world - well, it would be nice to see something from home.
>You enter the main hall.
>Immediately the two of you rush over to the pile of books.
>Twilight's eyes go bright and wide.
>"Oh Sweet Celestia, this is amazing! I am so glad that the universe works in funny ways, that Equestrian is similar to your "English."
"Yeah. Imagine I had to learn a whole new language? I'm sure there would be many odd shenanigans involved."
>She covers her mouth with a hoof as she giggles.
>"Yep. All right, so what's this one?"
"AH HA HA HA LET ME JUST TAKE THAT FROM YOU!"
>You quickly grab the book out of telekinetic field.
>She frowns and furrows her eyebrows at you.
>"Anon, I want you to consider carefully what you're doing. If you take books away from me, I will literally turn you into a potted plant."
>You make an innocent face at her.
"Well, Twilight, remember how I told you some of Earth's past was... less than pleasant? That's one of those books."
>Of course luck would have it that she grabbed "The Prince" by Machiavelli.

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:32:29 No.29019687 Report

Quoted By: >>29019694 >>29019799

>>29019682
>And the last thing you needed was a new Equestrian Princess becoming some kind of scheming Italian noble.
>Celestia would lock you up in the place where you were banished to.
>And you're not ready to be some dragon's prison bitch.
"I promise you, Twilight, I'll give it to you. But I want to sort this out and give you a reading order. So that the culture shock doesn't hurt you."
>You pause.
"Or that the ideas that you read in these books doesn't hurt Equestria. I can't have that on my conscience - and that book is full of ideas that could be badly interpreted."
>She opens her mouth to say something, but you talk right over her, pressing a finger to her lips.
"You were the one who always told me that knowledge is power. Well, as you know, humanity never had spells. But we had ideas. Ideas that led to mass murder and sometimes genocide."
>She quirks an eyebrow at you.
"See? You don't even have a word for it. Just think of this as King Sombra's spellbook for now."
>You remove your finger from her lips.
>She swallows nervously, closes her eyes, and leans into you.
>You immediately start running your fingers through her mane.
>Her eyes immediately roll back in her head.
>"Mmm. Fine, you convinced me. I'll defer to you. Besides, this will be more fun if we do it together."
>She rubs herself against you, and whoah hey - your dick is starting to get hard.
>Goddamn evil purple witch.
>You bet she planned this.
>To have sex on a bunch of books.
>Well, if that's the case, she's gonna be on the bottom.
>You reach over for the next book and bark a short laugh.
"Eh heh heh. Okay, next."
>Mein Kampf.
>Just... why?
>Next one.
"Art of..."
>"Art? I bet Rarity would like that one."
>No. No she wouldn't. Not the Art of War.
>You reach deep into the pile and grab a couple of books.
>"The Collected Works of Franz Kafka?! Thus Spoke Zarathustra?! The Decline and Fall of the... dear Celestia, what the HAY was I thinking?!"

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:33:31 No.29019694 Report

Quoted By: >>29019700

>>29019687
>Oh yeah.
>You've been in this place for too long.
>But more importantly, what the hell was wrong with this spell?
>Twilight looks at you with some concern as you sputter and pick through the books.
"The Commie Manifesto?! The Protocols?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"
>Twilight puts her hoof on your shoulder while you cover your face.
>Is this...
>Is this IT?!
>There are more books but you're not hopeful.
>Is this what Earth culture really is?
"Twilight. I have a very important question, but you can see how distraught I am. I need you to tell me something."
>"Yes Anon."
"This spell used me as a target. Tell me, how much did my personality or thoughts or whatever influenced the books that were pulled through?"
>You deliberately avoid looking at her.
>She had too many 'tells' you knew.
>In fact you shut your eyes.
>Maybe she wouldn't be able to tell that you had a couple of tears forming beneath your green mask.
>"Anon, I can tell you this - I only needed you in the spell so that it would anchor to the right plane of reality. Nothing more. The spell chose things based on the weight of the rocks."
>You exhale loudly.
>You... hope she's not lying.
>She likes you.
>She loves you.
>She wouldn't lie to you, would she?
>No.
>Of course not.
>But you need to make sure.
"Twilight, please guide my hand."
>You feel her put a hoof over your palm as she pushes it over a book.
>"Here Anon. This one looks nice. The cover has some kind of... human, sitting in a chair in front of a tower?"
>You cringe internally.
>Something horrible no doubt.
>You open your eyes and look at the book.
>Immediately you start laughing.
>Thank the stars.

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:34:48 No.29019700 Report

Quoted By: >>29019707

>>29019694
"YES YES YES YES!"
>Twilight beams at you.
>"So, what is it, tell me?!"
"Ah, well. It's a fiction book. It's science fiction. It's about an Empire that's about to fall, and how one man used science and math to save it."
>Oh Isaac Asimov.
>You couldn't write a character to save your life, but goddamn did you do a good job on the world of "Foundation."
>You grab the next one.
>It's a little more depressing - most Russian literature is - but "Crime and Punishment" should be an interesting read for a society that doesn't know murder.
>Oh?
>Origin of Species.
>That... that'll cause a revolution.
"Oh my god."
>A copy of the book that Pasteur wrote about germ theory!
>And this is a tome by Faraday.
>This is amazing.
>You go through a couple more books.
>Apparently all the shitty books bubbled to the top.
>There's a LOT of textbooks here as well.
>But that's not what catches your eye.
>You pull out a small volume.
"The Five Ages of the Universe, wow. This book. This book made me what I am."
>Twilight looks at it.
>"It's a book about the stars?"
"Yes. I wonder if they work the same way here. Considering Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. Hmm..."
>"But how did a book about stars make you what you are? That doesn't make any sense."
>You grimace.
"This is going to be a bit stream of consciousness - but to make a long story short - our world was going to end."
>She gasps.
>"Is that why you-"
"No no. It was going to end in like. A million times a million times a million years. More."
>Her mouth goes slightly open.
>"That is a very long time. But I still don't see it."

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:35:51 No.29019707 Report

Quoted By: >>29019713

>>29019700
"Don't you? The world was going to end. Because it was built into the fabric of our very Universe. One day it was going to run out of energy and that's it. A literal void where nothing moves, when all is less than dust. That is the fate of our Universe."
>"An insanely long time away."
"Well, yes, but think about it! That means that literally nothing we, as humans did mattered! Assume that the average human lived to be 80 years. Then compare. Does anything matter from that perspective?"
>She seems a bit taken aback by this.
>" I don't know. With that kind of logic, no it doesn't."
>Instead of responding immediately, you wrap your arms around her and kiss her.
>Your tongue darts inside her mouth.
>She doesn't reciprocate immediately as she is deep in thought.
>But when you slide your hand under her wing you feel her moan slightly and her tongue starts grappling with yours.
>Some time passes and you break the kiss.
"But see, Twilight. That's wrong. That just means that those 80 years? We get to fill them with meaning. Sure, they don't matter in the grand scheme of things, but here and now we're alive - and there are things that mean the world to me."
>You look directly at her as you say that.
>She looks at you for a moment.
>You feel the books behind you rise up into the air and get arranged into neat piles.
>Suddenly a telekinetic force slams into you and presses you against the wall.
>You give a small smirk as the purple alicorn starts unbuckling your pants with magic.
>She looks up at you, lust burning in her eyes.
"You really do know the wrong things to say to a lady, don't you Anon?"
>Your pants drop to the floor.
>Anon Jr. is straining against his boxer prison.
"Going off on this whole spiel, and then using logic and philosophy to give me the biggest compliment."
>She reaches out with her mouth and pulls your boxers down.
>She never liked using magic for this.
>Your dick hits her on her nose.
>She looks up at you again.
"Good thing I'm not a lady."

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:36:53 No.29019713 Report

Quoted By: >>29019721

>>29019707
>She swallows your dick down to the hilt.
>Oh god.
>Her throat is like warm velvet.
>She begins bobbing up and down on your rod.
>Her tongue wraps around the base of your shaft, while the tip is being massaged by her throat muscles.
>This is what blowjob heaven must feel like.
>How can human women even compare?
>Suddenly you feel the pressure on your body vanish and you jerk momentarily as you stand on your two feet.
>Immediately you pull your dick out Twilight's mouth.
>Before she has a chance to react, you drop down to the floor, and grab her flank.
>She squeals as it jiggles under your fingers.
>You start turning her around, and comprehension flashes on her face.
>She positions her rear over your face.
"Oh yes. A lady would never be this wet."
>You reach out and spread her lips.
"This horny."
>She shivers a moment, as a drop of mare juice drops down on your chest.
"This dirty."
>You crane your neck and give her a little kiss.
>She moans and mashes her marehood straight into your mouth.
>Your tongue darts out and starts teasing her clit.
>She gives another moan and swallows your lobster johnson again.
>Your body spasms as you place both hands on her cutie mark.
>She twitches as you squeeze.
>Mare juice is getting all over your face.
>You feel a the pressure build up in your dick.
>Suddenly Twilight twitches violently, as her wings flare out to the sides, and you're rewarded with a scream of ecstasy from the mare.
>She slowly lifts her butt from your face as she goes back to work on your shaft.
>Almost...
>There...
>FUCK YES!!!

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:37:55 No.29019721 Report

Quoted By: >>29019864 >>29020762 >>29033076

>>29019713
>Your dick spurts out semen into Twilight's waiting mouth who closes her eyes and swallows.
>The two of you lie in each others arms for a moment.
>Twilight shifts next to you and nestles deeper into your arms.
>"Mmm. We should talk philosophy and rut more often."
"Hmph. My marefriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
>Twilight just glares at you and throws your pants back into your face.
>"All right, let's get cleaned up, and then sort these out."
>You start putting your pants back on.
>And suddenly another book catches your eye.
>You grin hugely.
>As far as books to experiment with your marefriend, the "Illustrated Collection of Human Erotica" isn't too bad.

-END PART II-
-END STORY-

Link:
http://pastebin.com/cjumbj6e

Yeah, I dunno. Comments, critique, complains, and concerns are always appreciated, but I dunno. This was definitely forced. And I couldn't write a good ending. Or pick the right books. I really dislike this piece.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Thu 08 Dec 2016 06:50:50 No.29019799 Report

Quoted By:

>>29019687
>Not reading Mein Kampf with your waifu
I mean, aside from the whole "genociding my ancestors" thing, Hitler was a pretty cool guy.

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO rape.gif, 1MiB, 400x225

Handsome Jew Thu 08 Dec 2016 07:08:55 No.29019864 Report

Quoted By: >>29019872

>>29019721
Also, yeah, as a general rule I wouldn't end a SFW fic with clop, especially not so hastily. Why did you choose this ending? Couldn't think of anything better? I see a number of opportunities for either better endings or continuations that you seemed to just gloss over. In any case, your dialogue is good, certainly better than any I can write. The story itself just seems... uninspired? Especially as compared to part 1.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 07:12:12 No.29019872 Report

Quoted By: >>29019891

>>29019864

Well, as far as that goes, it was a prompt from /ntt/. Write a story about how Anon and Twi go over some of his favorite books, which leads to sex.

Realistically, that doesn't happen too often. If at all. The smarter thing to do would be to have a philosophical debate between the two, but I aim to please. Dunno.

We should do a collab.

So I can put my penis inside your penis

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO edge.jpg, 21KiB, 251x320

Handsome Jew Thu 08 Dec 2016 07:17:14 No.29019891 Report

Quoted By:

>>29019872
Sorry, kid. I work alone. Nothing personnel.
*teleports behind you*
I'll spare you... This time. But don't forget... *tips fedora*
I serve no man, and trust is an illusion.
*throws down a smoke bomb and disappears*
I actually don't even know how to set up a collab, much less write one

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 10:14:47 No.29020262 Report

Quoted By:

You will never ever ever sleep next to your favorite Pony.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 10:30:07 No.29020295 Report

Quoted By: >>29020297

>>28997769
Kill and eat her too.
No one must know that I'm Hannibal Lecter: Pony Edition.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 10:30:52 No.29020297 Report

Quoted By:

>>29020295
This of course is always a viable strategy.

Zew

Zew Thu 08 Dec 2016 11:43:46 No.29020402 Report

Quoted By: >>29020406

>>29014685
>You didn’t want it in your house
>Suddenly the beast stops thrashing through the bush and twists around, staring intently into the foliage which hid you
>Your body seizes as his piercing eyes pass over you
>Just. Don’t. Breath.
>With an unnatural speed and agility he’d not being utilising earlier the alien vanishes into the dense green surroundings
>How the fuck did he do that?
>”Aw great, you spooked him!”
“Hey! I’m not the one squeaking from the bushes!”
>The two of you trot to where he’d once stood
>Sky looks along the ground in the direction of the fleeing creature
>”How’d he do that? One second he’s crashing along like a bear, the next he’s slipped away like a shadow.”
“Is that really surprising? He is an alien, for all we know he can do anything, plus imagine what powerful magics he could have.”
>She shifts anxiously between hooves
>”Ugh, I know I wanted an adventure, but this is getting crazy and we’ve only been watching him. Do we really have to help?”
“We’re ponies of Equestria, what do you think?”
>”Damn, you’re right. I’ve got to stop being such a scaredy pony.” Sky asserts, bolstering her morale
>There was just one slight issue
“How do we find him now?”
>”I don’t know if you picked up on this, but so far he’s been walking in a dead straight line.”
>You think back upon your trek and look to the trail you’d just come down
>Sure enough it was perfectly straight
“Not strange at all… So what’s your idea?”
>”Simple, we keep going that direction, he must be heading towards something, maybe we can beat him there, that way he’ll have to talk to us to get whatever he wants.”
>Solid reasoning, although you didn’t fancy a direct confrontation with whatever that was
>But now there was another problem

Zew

Zew Thu 08 Dec 2016 11:45:56 No.29020406 Report

Quoted By: >>29020410

>>29020402
“How exactly do we beat him? You saw how fast he just went.”
>”Yeah, because we scared him you big silly! He’ll slow down soon and then we can take him over.”
“How do you know he’ll slow down?”
>”Because he would have been galloping from the start if he never had to stop.”
>Sky begins to giggle
>”I just have the answer for everything today, and here I thought you were the smart pony.”
“We can find out just how smart a pony you are by how well this plan of yours works.”
>A grin spreads along her muzzle
>”My plans always work.”

<| °_° |>

>The two indigenous beasts rush through the shrubbery in the direction you’d “disappeared”
>In reality you’d ran just out of their sight, climbed one of the trees and circled your way back to them, leaping from branch to branch like your ancient simian ancestors
>You’d come back just in time to see them running off
>Were they tracking you like a pack of wolves? Did this world’s predators evolve unnatural cuteness to disarm their prey?
>It was a wild theory, but you always had to prepare for the worst eventuality
>As the two small pastel beasts gallop through the undergrowth you deftly follow from above
>Aside from the absurd colour palettes the ponies also had disturbing symbols on their flanks
>The rusty orange one had what looked to be a hammer hitting three gears, breaking them apart from each other
>He also had what looked to be an odd growth on his side
>The far stranger coloured one, white and blue, had a wonderful depiction of a rising sun over a silhouetted horizon, a paint brush trailed off from the stylized sunrise
>Innocent enough, but why in the universe would they have such things on their flanks?
>They were symbols of intelligent society
>Taking a closer look at the ‘growth’ on the stallion with your enhanced vision you come to realises it’s actually a small bag
>No longer were these wild animals out to hunt you, but the world’s resident sapient species

Zew

Zew Thu 08 Dec 2016 11:47:45 No.29020410 Report

Quoted By: >>29020426

>>29020406
>Damn, you just discovered a new alien race!
>HA! Big fucking deal, only like a hundred thousand of those had been found
>What scored real points was discovering another space faring species, particularly one with more advanced technology, or just a unique perspective on reality
>There were a lot of philosophers in space
>Your situation hasn’t changed much, you’re going to be stuck here for a few days, and you’re being tracked by a pair native creatures, now you just know they’re self-aware, hence more dangerous
>Although by their size if you gave them a solid enough stomp you could break their spine, so the danger was relative and not absolute
>So you’d let these little things run along, they could do as they please, you can get to your equipment module at your own pace
>And they were so adorable! You couldn’t hurt them
>Or more officially, as a Royal Knight you stood as a symbol of civility, and had taken an oath of non-violence against the innocent and unprotected
>With the natives out of sight and out of mind you dive from the tree, your feet squishing deeply into the loamy soil
>Note to self, start wearing shoes during space flight, it’ll keep you from losing them to oblivion in case of catastrophes
>One command later your neural nanonics begin an SNI recording. While you’re here you may as well get some data on the planet

Zew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO why do I do this.jpg, 483KiB, 707x1006

Zew Thu 08 Dec 2016 11:57:07 No.29020426 Report

Quoted By: >>29020762 >>29020765 >>29026299

I'm probs gunna make a new /prison/ thread sometime tomorrow evening (AEST time). I know it's just flogging a dead horse but fuck it, everything deserves a second/millionth chance right?

>>29020410
>You set off at a reasonable pace to your equipment
>The thuds of slow trudging fade into the distance, the natural sounds of the forest returning, as you journey towards your goal

<| °_° |>

>Sky’s tail bobbed along in front of you, occasionally flicking into your panting maw
>Bleagh! She really had to wash that thing!
“Are we still going in the right direction?”
>”Sure we ar-*oof*”
>The mare trips over a root and disappears through a dense thicket
“SKY! Are you alright?”
>You struggle past the shrubbery, twigs scratching against your coat
>You find her, upside down, flank in the air [arse over tit], face smooshed into the ground at the bottom of a small crater
>She groans and lifts her head, coming face to face with a huge black metal cube
>Its impact had formed a sizable pit and torn away the canopy, letting the bright morning light shine down
>A few nearby shrubs were even flaming
>“Found it!”
“Hah, good job. Now we wait.”

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 13:57:32 No.29020646 Report

Quoted By:

>>29016823
I'm lazy to make an account to feedback.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Thu 08 Dec 2016 13:59:28 No.29020650 Report

Quoted By:

Crosspostan
>Be Anon.
>Playan vidya.
>Super smash brothers brawl online bitches.
>On the custom pirate server because nintendo are jews and shut down the online stuff.
>Scratch that.
>Even jews have standards.
>Nintendo are worse than jews.
>Whihc you loudly assert over the voice chat to your opponent.
"Nintendo are worse than those fucking kikes, breaking my motherfucking online modes!"
>You wavedash upwards and press A twice in quick succession to send Yoshi's flaming spear through Marth's chest.
>You always choose Yoshi.
>Because he's the best character in every game.
>And that correct choice has rewarded you with victory as you hold down the Z trigger and do a clockwise circle on the C-buttons, starting and ending on C-up.
>Marth is decapitated by youshi who gruseomely rips your foe's head and spine from their now-lifeless body.
>You make sure to act graciously in victory
>"Suck it faggot!"

>Be Wish Fulfillment, gamer mare.
>Playan vidya.
>Super Smash brothers brawl online.
>You don't really know what it is, but you decide to try it after seeing it on your gameorb's server browser.
>You pick the sexy minotaur-thing in the character select screen.
>Your opponent chooses some green dragon thing.
>The match starts and you begin to fight.
>You are about to kick her ass when you are distracted by a stallion's voice.
>In that moment of distraction your minodude is speared by the dragon.
>You move to recover from this but they follow up with a flawless fatality move to finish off poor Marth the mutant mino.
>The male voice once again comes over your headset.
>"Suck it faggot!"
>You think you're in love.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Thu 08 Dec 2016 14:49:56 No.29020762 Report

Quoted By:

>>29003148
>>29004149
>>29006003
I remember this.
And still want more.

>>29003651
You're welcome to post here if you want to.
Please don't leave us.

>>29006870
>bareback on a hearse
Oh you.

>>29007625
I expect more next year.

>>29010248
>>29013572
I like it and am interested in reading more.

>>29019721
I am too tired to actually read all of this, but what i managed to get through before my eyes glazed over from a combination of drugs and exhaustion was worthy of continuation.
Also twiggles sex needs doing more.

>>29020426
I'm enjoying this and it's good to see you writing more things.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 14:52:12 No.29020765 Report

Quoted By:

>>29020426
We gonna reborn soon...

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 15:59:32 No.29020953 Report

Quoted By: >>29020958 >>29021155 >>29021795 >>29021809 >>29021952 >>29022721

>Harpy: r/dickpics preferably nonpony.
>DiamondEater: *doubletrouble.jpeg*
>Harpy: It looks like a pair of wet Christmas tree lights.
>NotCelestia: What's a Christmas tree?
>Harpy: Celestia banned the human holiday of Christmas that celebrates Jesus the landscaper. You celebrate by putting electric lights all over things and selling oranges by the side of the road.
>Unknown: Close enough.
>Harpy: Dick or gtfo stallion.
>Unknown: I know you have a folder full of me already you thirsty conspiracy horse.
>NotCelestia: We could always use more.
>Unknown: *helicockter.gif*
>Harpy: Ah, a classic.
>Unknown: Where is everyone, normally we have more thirsty mares in here.
>NotCelestia: It's been quiet lately.
>Harpy: Celestia has been rounding up all the beta mares and is using the power of dropped oats to fuel the human suppression effort.
>NotCelestia: Close, she put them all in concentration camps so they could learn how to be 'productive' members of society.
>Unknown: Also known as Twilight's mandatory book club.
Harpy: Ugh, don't remind me. Why does our local princess give out homework?
>Unknown: Because she's lame and lonely.
>SunLover: ALL DISPARIGING COMMENTS ABOUT EQUESTRIAN ROYALS WILL RESULT IN A BAN!
>Unknown: Twilight sucks.
>Harpy: She's a tryhard beta mare.
>NotCelestia: She needs to get laid. Can somepony please slip Big Mac 50 bits to split her open?
BigRed: Nnnope. 75 minimum.
Unknown: Deal, but we all pitch in.
Harpy: Anything to get her to calm the fuck down.
>Unknown: Alright BigRed, be at her place at 7. I'll let you in. Money payable when you're finished.
>SunLover: ...woohoo?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 16:00:34 No.29020958 Report

Quoted By:

>>29020953
Damn, forgot a few >.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO HA.jpg, 40KiB, 460x489

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 16:41:56 No.29021155 Report

Quoted By: >>29021193

>>29020953
>using the power of dropped oats to fuel the human suppression effort

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 16:51:06 No.29021193 Report

Quoted By:

>>29021155
You think the sun powers itself?
It runs on the magic of shame.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 17:06:34 No.29021275 Report

Quoted By: >>29021952

>ShakeyourMe: Harpy, get off 4pone and clean the house like you said you would.
>Unknown: Uh oh.
>Harpy: Five more minutes.
>ShakeyourMe: No, now. We have plans later and it can't wait.
>Unknown: Lesbian horse plans?
>ShakeyourMe: Yes Unknown, everypony knows Thursday is lesbian horse night at the bowling alley.
>Unknown: So that's why they never let me in.
>EatsPairs: I'll see ya there.
>FabulousFabric: I made us matching shirts.
>Harpy: The team has arrived.
>Unknown: I didn't know you guys liked bowling. You want to meet up Saturday for a game?
>Harpy: So you can steal our friendship magic? I don't think so you incubus.
>NotCelestia: It's true, he will steal all of your essence and give it to changelings.
>Unknown: Shit, you found me out.
>SunLover: SMITE THE DEMON!
>DreamWeaver: Quick, use my flank! It is known to keep him distracted for at least 20 minutes.
>Harpy: We know. We've seen the video.
>Unknown: *nofucksgiven.jpeg*

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO computerpone.jpg, 6KiB, 225x225

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 19:02:26 No.29021789 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 19:03:54 No.29021795 Report

Quoted By:

>>29020953
>DiamondEater: *doubletrouble.jpeg*
MODS

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 19:08:52 No.29021809 Report

Quoted By: >>29021894

>>29020953
>using the power of dropped oats
She could've just ask Luna.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1414353771464.png, 411KiB, 882x724

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 19:24:45 No.29021894 Report

Quoted By:

>>29021809
She stopped caring a long time ago.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 19:35:32 No.29021952 Report

Quoted By:

>>29020953
>>29021275
Man i wish we have more like this.
This one. >>29015361

asananon

asananon Thu 08 Dec 2016 20:01:17 No.29022071 Report

Quoted By: >>29022285 >>29023859

>>29001111
Fiiiiine

>Be Anonymous
>Also be fucking lost innawoods
>You left home three days ago to go /out/ because hell, why not?
>Your first night was wonderful, staring at the full moon through the mesh of your tent until the sounds of the forest lulled you to sleep
>Waking up before sunrise the second day, you stretched as you took in the sight of the rising dawn and the half-disc of the moon opposite it
>...
>...Wait, what?
>That was when you realized something was very wrong
>Lunar cycles aren't that fast
>Then you couldn't find the trail you had been on yesterday
>Then you spent an entire day trekking through the woods hoping to hear an airplane flying above the national park to no avail
>Your second night, you stared at the moon again, but this time was different
>The craters had changed?
>You were a space buff, but you weren't an astronomer, so you couldn't be sure
>But the fucking moon was different, you swore
>None of the constellations seemed the same, the moon looked weird, the lunar phase had just randomly changed...
>Theorizing wildly, you could only assume one thing:

>Whether by cosmic accident or divine malevolence, you'd been Samurai Jack'ed and flung into a different time.

https://youtu.be/e51hgWIsY4M

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 20:04:47 No.29022093 Report

Quoted By: >>29022110

Howdy folks. I don't know where to post this story for now and I don't know if it's good or not for this holiday season or at all. Also need some advice, comments, constructive criticism and the likes. I would appreciate it.
http://pastebin.com/xbWwVHx6

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 20:08:18 No.29022110 Report

Quoted By:

>>29022093

Wrong fuckboi.

Post that shit here.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 20:46:09 No.29022285 Report

Quoted By: >>29022613

>>29022071
>you'd been Samurai Jack'ed

I smiled. Will you continue?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 21:50:18 No.29022613 Report

Quoted By:

>>29022285
This.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 21:56:09 No.29022647 Report

Quoted By: >>29022839

>>29001111
Oki-doki.

>The Rookie looked around the darkened cooridors of the X-Pon base. She knew what she was about to do was wrong... so wrong, but she could not help herself. she wanted him- needed her. she had since the first time she had looked into his dark green eyes that he was her and she was hims.

>Sure, she had only managed to stay behind with him, after shooting herself in the hoof with her magic. So she lost a few inches of her right hoof- he was worth it. She heard him singing to her, faintly, beautifully.

>And now she was along with him the other X-Pon Agents out on assignment, the scientists and engineers sleeping off another hectic day. But he was awake and hungry- and he was all that could sate her hunger.

>She quietly opened the door, making sure the magic alarms were off, and the coast was clear. In front of her, with only a transparent wall, and a single door between them, was her belover. Anxiously, hands trembeling with excitement, She fumbled out the key needed to open the door, and heart racing, She slid the key into the lock.

>There his was, standing in front of her, his body firm, yet yielding to her hoofs. "I love you" She whispered, her voice barely breaking the silence of the room.

>She began to sensually massage his wet, gleaming pink head, his fingers whispering down her tight soft tuff. He made a fire burn inside her, a passion, a furious conflagration that only his touch, his taste could extinguish.

>In her hoof, her stunrod began to tremble, her eyes alight with lusty delight, she began to disrobe golden vest, small bright sparks filling the air, her breathing deep, and body ready

>She rut, her mouth sliding open, a soft moan escaping as his rod entered her. Friction and deft movements- they moved together, his five fingered hands around her thighs as he pushed the stunrod into h-

>"Moon!, You damn Xeno bucker!"

>*Huuf* *Huuf*

BAD END

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 22:10:59 No.29022721 Report

Quoted By:

>>29020953
Got more?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO KEK.jpg, 3KiB, 125x116

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 22:31:44 No.29022839 Report

Quoted By: >>29022853

>>29022647

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 955252__safe_solo_rarity_smiling (...).png, 124KiB, 1000x734

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 22:35:02 No.29022853 Report

Quoted By: >>29023098 >>29023120

>>29022839
>elfposting

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 08 Dec 2016 23:19:40 No.29023098 Report

Quoted By:

>>29022853
Dwarf pls
Pls

ZebraMancer001

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO advise.jpg, 108KiB, 365x301

ZebraMancer001 Thu 08 Dec 2016 23:22:44 No.29023120 Report

Quoted By:

>>29022853

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Fri 09 Dec 2016 01:38:41 No.29023859 Report

Quoted By:

>>29022071
You should continue.

Also bump.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 03:07:12 No.29024427 Report

Quoted By: >>29024588

>page 9
The elves did this.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 03:34:11 No.29024588 Report

Quoted By:

>>29024427
oh no

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 03:37:36 No.29024618 Report

Quoted By: >>29024761

Dorfnonymous in Equestria when?
Dorfnonymous in Elfquestria when?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO whereCanterlotEnds.jpg, 56KiB, 940x850

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 03:56:06 No.29024750 Report

Quoted By: >>29024769 >>29026164

I'm feeling nostalgic. Anyone got the pony SCP entries from back in the day?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 03:57:33 No.29024761 Report

Quoted By:

>>29024618
i know that Dorfnonymous has been done before in some aspect, but i cant rightly remember nor find it

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 03:58:20 No.29024769 Report

Quoted By:

>>29024750
That Scootaloo looks fine in this orientation, but upside down looks really weird.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Fri 09 Dec 2016 03:59:42 No.29024777 Report

Quoted By: >>29024785

Just a quick thing I wrote. 1/2

>”Ah, Mr. Anonymous. A… pleasure to see you. Please do sit down.”
>You could tell that Celestia enjoyed the office remodel you’d done for her. You made it the spitting image of a cartoon CEO’s office. Enormously oversized desk, floor-to-ceiling bookcases, massive and bright windows to provide light, and warm hearth which seemingly burned on its own. Actually, it did burn on its own, because magic.
>You take a seat in the uncomfortable visitor’s chair while Celestia looks down on you from her very high-backed leather swivel. You can’t believe she was so eager to use leather, they had to execute fourteen prisoners for the materials.
“I understand you called me here on a business matter, your Highness. Is there an opportunity to be had? My machines are yours to lease, and my lands open to development.”
>”No, Anonymous. It’s not that kind of meeting.” She swivels slightly, facing away from you and placing her hind legs on the desk at an angle. “I called you here today to discuss your… habits, here in Equestria.”
“Is there a problem, your Highness? I’m sure I can rectify it. Although long, hot showers are a cultural norm in my home, I’m sure I can shorten them for the drought, or perhaps-“
>”Anonymous, you know full well what I am talking about.” When you provide no response, she steels her gaze and continues, “You have been convicted of four hundred and thirty-nine felonies since you arrived in Equestria roughly a year ago.”
>Oh, that.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Fri 09 Dec 2016 04:00:44 No.29024785 Report

Quoted By: >>29025300 >>29029199

>>29024777
2/2
>”I have pardoned you individually for each and every one of those offences.” She shoots you another hostile look. “The most recent of them being this morning, for the brutal rape of the unicorn Lyra.”
>Is it even rape if she likes it?
>”My subjects have grown tired of your disregard for our law, and to be entirely honest, so have I. What say you?”
>You pause to consider.
“I am sincerely sorry for all of those felonies. Especially the ones committed in the past 48 hours.”
>”And?”
>Another riddle. Play it smart, Anon.
“And I am also sorry for any future crimes I may and will commit.”
>Wow, she’s really growing red. She must be incredibly grateful for your most sincere apologies.
“No need to thank me, your Highness, I’ll be on my way. Also, there are more bodies buried in the usual spot.”
>You never see it coming two days later when you’re hit over the head and thrown in the dungeon for a thousand years.

Slamnonymous

Slamnonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 05:27:02 No.29025233 Report

Quoted By: >>29025383

>>29006003
>You admit it's quite a surname, just not out loud. Your gaze drifts toward the window and you see the castle. Home, sweet home.

>Be Anonymous Night Walker.
>Maybe just Night or walker, you're sure you'll work it out later. Follow the captains eyes to the window then you double take to make sure you know what you're looking at.
>This place is HUGE.There's lofty spires and those radish shaped tops to all of the buildings.
>Is this place hanging off a cliff!? Never in your life have you seen something so breath taking.
And to think, you thought that hammer in the sky was impressive!
>"Breath taking isn't it?" asks the captain. "Welcome to Canterlot Anon."
>You wordlessly nod as you take in everything around you. The 2600 bricks and 24 bars of the manny cage the 830 square feet of your cell, or the 18 stairs connecting the two can never compare to this. It's truly a palace fit for a king.
>Speaking of which,
"What do the king and queen know about me? Have they seen me before?"
>"What?" The captain visually confused.
"The king and queen, ya know, Tia's parents?"
>Her look can only be described as "really nigga?"
>"The Princess has ruled for Generations Anon, I thought someone would have told you that by now"
"Wouldn't that make her the queen then, or the Empress?"
>"We're not so arrogant as to call our kingdom an empire Anon."
>There is a long pause.
"No one questions it do they?" you ask pointedly.
>"...No" she admits.
>"For whatever reason, she doesn't accept the title, and probably wont anytime soon. It may be out of respect for her sister, Princess Luna"
"I didn't know she had an older sister"
>"She doesn't"
>Unwilling to delve into the complexities of horse monarchy, you look back out the window. It looks like you're making your final descent.
>After landing inside the castle, you're led down multiple flights of stairs to the throne room.
>You expertly conclude that an audience with the princess is the reason for the suit, but you could be wrong.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 05:44:24 No.29025300 Report

Quoted By:

>>29024785

Meh. Tbh famalam was expecting more of a punchline.

Slamnonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO aproach the throne.jpg, 1MiB, 2550x2550

Slamnonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 06:00:10 No.29025383 Report

Quoted By: >>29026089 >>29029212

>>29025233
>>29025213
>Curtains drape along either side of the red carpet leading to the throne where Celestia sits.
>"Ah Anonymous, I've been looking forward to this. You may approach the throne." Her guards stand aside to let you through.
>You meekly approach the throne to the surprise of the captain.
>What, you can behave when you need to. You lower your eyes out of respect and to shield your eyes from the dazzling stained glass window.
>What is it with her and blinding sunlight? Her "cutie mark" as she calls it must have something to do with it.
>You hope everypo-ONE doesn't call them that.
>You kneel before Tia and await her command.
>"Anonymous, you have been a part of our kingdom for quite some time now, and I think it's time you became an honorary citizen. Raise your head"
>You look at her in all her shining splendor, the stained glass window behind her envelopes her in a warm array of colors that make her alabaster glow all the brighter.
>Oh and she's talking to you.
>"..swear to honor our kingdom and most importantly, conduct yourself in a friendly manner? For, after all, friendship is magic."
"Yes I do Princess"
>"Then let everypony give a warm welcome to Anonymous, formerly known as: The night walker."
>The curtains are blown away in a gold dust to reveal hundreds of ponies, most of them posh and proper but a group of six stand out the most.
>Judging by the jewelry, they must be Ladies and duchesses. They whisper among themselves before the purple one approaches you.
"Hey there Ms.?
>"Sparkle, she responded, Twilight sparkle!"
"It's nice to meet you twilight"
>She's observing you closely, turning her head this way and that. She's even circled you a couple of times.
>"Hmmm, the sketches showed a gaunt creature with glowing eyes, but you're much bigger" she states.
>Damn straight.
>You'd flex for her but you don't want to tear your designer suit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 09:17:50 No.29026089 Report

Quoted By:

>>29025383
I'm getting like it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 10:01:35 No.29026164 Report

Quoted By: >>29026625

>>29024750
>nostalgic
M-me too

Zew

Zew Fri 09 Dec 2016 11:18:12 No.29026299 Report

Quoted By: >>29026312

>>29020426
>Sky gets to her hooves and shakes her head in opposition
>”No, now we touch it, try to open it! It’s a box and boxes open.”
>You’re taken aback
“W-what!? No way, it’s not ours, and have you already forgotten what happened to the rest of this thing?”
>”Nah, but this part is different somehow.”
>Completely ignoring your premonition her hoof flies out and bashes against the cube
>The strike shakes the side a little but nothing more happens
“I don’t think you’re usual, destructive, approach is going to work.”
>”Mine may not, but aren’t you the one who specialises in breaking things?”
“Errr, that’s a pretty simplistic view, but yeah kind of.”
>”In that case you try bashing it open.”
“You can’t make me do that! It is not ours.”
>She glowers at you sulkily
>”Please Ratch! Please, please, please, please, please-
“Oh for the love of Celestia! I’ll do it, just be quite!”
>The sulk’s replaced by a cheery smile
>”Thanks!” Sky bleats as she bounces around
>A buck to the cube later and the wall blocking you just seems to fold away in a bunch of tiny interlocking squares
>You stumble back, shocked anything had happened at all
>Sky’s happy jumping intensifies as the wall slides away
>Her joy and your surprise are swiftly overcome by fear as the brush on the crater edge rustles and the most unnatural roar emanates from the shadows
>”Oh, this is how I die.” Sky whimpers
>You summon all your nerve and steel yourself for what had to be done
“Calm down, stay here, I’ll go check it out.”
>She nods
>”Be careful Ratch.”
>Your hooves moved slowly and apprehensively but eventually you reach the location of the noise
>Sky watches intently as you step ever further away

<| °_° |>

>Having warped out so close to the planet the equipment module hadn’t managed to fly too far from where the ship’s wreckage should have been

Zew

Zew Fri 09 Dec 2016 11:21:37 No.29026312 Report

Quoted By: >>29026330

>>29026299
>Annoyingly, and entirely expected, the two natives had found the module and were currently poking at it
>It was standard practice not to interfere with planetary natives without having to go through an ethics committee first (Although as a Royal Knight you were given an almost unfair amount of leeway with most laws), and you were perfectly content roughing it in the forest until rescue arrived, but these curious beasts were forcing your hand
>You were also back in the trees, having heard the little things from afar
>Maybe you could scare them off somehow?
>You command the module door to open, hoping it to frighten the things away, before realising the ship's computer no longer existed
>You’d have to open it manually, with your Terran Credit disk
>Your hand drifts reflexively to your pocket to squeeze the small purple rectangle
>TC disks were invaluable, they worked as your wallet, keys, and for those unable to afford Nerual Nanonics, an interface with today’s more advanced tech
>So it is with great panic that you grasp around your clearly empty pocket
>Where was it? Where the FUCK was it!
>You were strong and all, but you did not fancy having to punch through steel with just your bare fists
>God. Fucking. Damnit!
>The two tiny horses were having some kind of horse-ish conversation, until the white mare hits your module
>Good luck little pony
>The wall stays unyielding and the mare turns to her companion
>After a brief series of neighs and wickers, then one repeated squeaking noise she seems to convince the stallion to try himself
>They could go at it all day and not make a dent
>The stallion bucks

Zew

Zew Fri 09 Dec 2016 11:26:57 No.29026330 Report

Quoted By: >>29026333

>>29026312
>Your mind receives the automatic signal that the doors had opened from your TC Disk
>That Horse had your disk!
>You exhale in a long drawn out sigh
“Great.”
>You’ll just have to get that back then
>Breaking off a branch and using it to stir up the plants beneath, you gain the attention of your followers
>The branch you’d just grabbed had apparently been home to a squirrel analogue, which was currently rushing up your arm, angrily biting at your bicep
“Gah! Fuck! Stupid shit!”
>The flailing of your arm dislodges the annoying little prick and he goes flying away
>Your shout had really hooked the two ponies now, the stallion had even started approaching
>But his approach slows as he nears, giving you the opportunity to position yourself above him
>Your disk would be in his bag
>Hooking your legs over a branch you lower yourself down just enough to see the white mare watching her friend below you
>Still holding the stick you toss it over the trees and past the mare, its sudden thud twisting her head from her friend
>With that you lower down completely
>The stallion was mere centimetres away, staring into the shadows
>His pouch was right there and your hand slowly stretches out to grab at it
>Softly your fingers grasp around the small bag
>It had almost been lifted from his side when you’re interrupted by the loud whinnies of the mare behind you
>Shit

Zew

Zew Fri 09 Dec 2016 11:28:06 No.29026333 Report

Quoted By: >>29029193 >>29036265

Night, also I made /prison/ again

>>29026330
>The stallion flips around, pure terror on his foreign features as he finds you suspended inches from his face
>Fuck it. Honestly what the hell were you expecting with a plan like this? Screw sneaking, it’s not for you, you’re just going to grab what you need and so fucking be it, who cares?!
>Falling from the tree and rolling to your feet you stand before the petrified horse and his charging companion
>Before she can reach you the Credit disk had been removed from the pouch and secured back in your pocket
“Thanks for picking this up for me little dude.”
>Thudding hoof steps remind you of the approaching pony and you look around
>You had been preparing some form of self-defence, likely involving just lifting the thing from her hooves, until she slows to a stop before you; she approaches inquisitively
>Absolute relief floods you
>The natives were friendly! Plus, only one of them freaked out
>That meant this situation was going to be absurdly easier to deal with than you though
>No pony stomping required!

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 13:23:59 No.29026625 Report

Quoted By:

>>29026164

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:48:00 No.29026845 Report

Quoted By: >>29026847

I finished the vaguely depressing thing.

>There’s a special feeling that comes with getting home after a long day of work. To others, it probably feels like a shallow relief, or a prolonged sigh. For you, it’s a like a sudden shot of morphine, and after today, you sorely need it.
>The door to your studio apartment opens, and you slip inside as fast as you can, before the nausea of anticipation overwhelms you. It takes just about everything in your power not to slam the door shut so hard that you break it, so it can never be opened again. You press your back against cool wood and shut your eyes, then count the beats of your heart until they slow down. You feel your breaths come easier and easier as you turn the little latch on the knob, from open to locked, and with the soft click it makes, you feel a part inside of you unclench. Like someone was undoing a knot that was pulled way too tight.
>The cracked paint of the door feels so foreign under your fingertips, the only thing separating you from the outside world, and you’re so grateful it’s there to protect you. You’re here now. Everything else is out there. You’re safe here. It’s okay.
>You close your eyes and repeat these words in your head over and over until you start to believe them. Somewhat.
>Before you, in your tiny apartment, you feel the stillness, the quiet, that only you and those you choose can interrupt. As you open your eyes to face it, you can sense how much control you have over every single thing. Every piece of furniture, every pillow on your bed, every painting on your wall, they’re all comfortable parts of your life you know inside and out. No uncertainty or surprises.
>And your only company?
>You smile with relief as your eyes fall on a small purple form resting at the foot of your bed. The shape stretches, yawns like a tired cat, then blinks at you sleepily. Her wings stretch, then refold, and she shakes her head to throw off any lingering dreams.
(1/?)

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:49:21 No.29026847 Report

Quoted By: >>29026852

>>29026845

As she recognizes you, she smiles a little.
“Oh, hey, welcome home!” she says, her voice still groggy. “When did you get back?”
>You take off your coat and hang it on the cheap copper hook screwed into the back of the door, then give her a nod.
“Just now. Hey, did you sleep all day?”
“Not… all day,” she says with a roll of her eyes. “Just some of it. Maybe two thirds.”
>You roll your eyes back at her, mimicking her expression with a knowing grin.
“Jeez, I never would have guessed you’d be a lazy one, Twi. So out of character.”
>Twilight sits up a little straighter, and furrows her brow at you.
“Hey, I do plenty, but when I have a day off, I take advantage of it, is that so wrong?”
“Whatever you say princess, whatever helps you sleep at night.”
“Or during the day, to be specific.”
“Right, right. You're always so precise.”
>With a huff of exhaustion, you flop down face-first next to her across the bed. The force of your sudden weight on the old mattress sends her catapulting into the air a little, and she yelps in indignation. She has scarcely enough time to open her wings and find balance before again settling onto the bed beside you. She gives you a glare which quickly softens as she sees your expression.
“That kind of a day, huh?” she says with a raised eyebrow. “All a little too overwhelming?”
>You let out a short bitter laugh. It’s been like that all week, but today it feels like it’s built up inside you to the point of breaking. You'll not sure how much longer your dam will hold.
“How did you guess?”
“I know you, and I know how you get sometimes. I also happen to know what it’s like to have a lot of weight on your shoulders, from personal experience,” she says proudly. “Remember the time me and my friends had to take care of the yaks? Oh, or when we had to get rid of the parasprites? And what about that whole thing with the wedding?”

(2/?)

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:50:34 No.29026852 Report

Quoted By: >>29026857

>>29026847

“Of course I remember, I loved those, especially that last one.”
>The memories flood back to you in glowing color and you can’t help but smile. They feel like a caress to your mind, like a waft of a favorite perfume. You glance at her across the comforter, and she’s smiling down at you too.
“Well, then you remember it was really stressful for all of us gals. But with hard work and determination, we made it through, and you can too!”
>You give another short sigh down into the blanket, then roll over on your back. You can feel every individual muscle in your body, all resisting movement now that you’ve flopped, and you make an involuntary little groan as you shift around.
“Yeah, but you had your friends there to help you,” you remind her.
“You have friends too.”
“You don’t count.”
>You hear her click her tongue in disapproval.
“Well that’s not a very nice thing to say. Is staying in so often making your socializing skills rusty? Taking a page from Dash’s playbook maybe and forgetting manners?”
>You let out a louder groan, on purpose this time, and cover your face with your hands.
“Sorry,” you grumble. “It’s not your fault, I know, I know. It’s just been hard for me lately and I want to unwind now that I’m home.”
“Sounds good to me,” she says brightly. “We could read a book, or do a puzzle if you want, or…”
“Or?”
>You can tell she’s grinning before you even look up. Sure enough she’s practically beaming at you.
“Or we can watch an episode or two,” she says inching a little closer to you. “That always seems to make you forget your troubles, take you far away.”

(3/?)

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:51:39 No.29026857 Report

Quoted By: >>29026865

>>29026852

>You have to admit, that idea sounds the best right now. You can simply put on Netflix, click a few buttons, and pick out one of your favorite episodes, and suddenly you know this room won’t feel like it’s so small anymore. Sure, you’ll still get your sweet isolation, but when you’re watching, you don’t notice the walls. You don’t notice you’re stuck here, with the world around you threatening to beat down your door should you dare to turn the latch. You're not trapped inside this wonderful secure little box of an apartment, with nowhere you can go without feeling like...
>Suddenly, you can feel all of that world outside looming up, and a wave of tingling stabs at your stomach. It creeps up on you, without exact source and form, but curls around your intestines and stomach like some sort of serpent or eel. You feel sick, then the sweat begins to form on your brow, and the moisture leaves your mouth. You can't breathe, you can't thing, and then you feel your heart jolt uncomfortably in one sudden loud thud. You sit up from bed like you'd been electrocuted, looking down at the floor, trying to focus.
>See how the wood grain flows in one direction? What about the swirl there of a knot. There’s a crack running up that one board, is it bigger this week? There’s dust in the cracks, you should really clean it at some point, but it’s not terrible yet. It's redwood, you remind yourself, you asked your landlady after this happened last time.
>With each singular detail you pick out, you can feel your heart slow, and the pressure against your apartment’s walls lessons some. When you breathe out, it feels as if you’ve been holding it in for hours.
>As you blink back into your body, you can sense Twilight leaning over your shoulder, and you turn to find her looking at you, head tilted. Her mouth is set, her expression curious but also concerned.
“A bad one?” she asks softly, very gently, like you're a baby animal.

(4/?)

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:53:39 No.29026865 Report

Quoted By: >>29026871

>>29026857

“Not so bad. It went away fast,” you reply, but there’s a cracked dryness in your voice as you speak.
>She nods, and doesn’t press the point, much to your relief.
“Well,” she continues. “You don’t have anything else to do today. You can stay here, with me, and just feel…”
“Safe?”
>You hate the word, but say it anyway because it’s the right one in this situation. This room, this place, this small purple magical pony feels safe to you. Everything else, everything out there? It’s too much right now. It’s always too much, but especially right now. Twilight nods once more, and pats your leg so kindly that you can almost feel it.
“Yes,” she says in that same soft lilting tone that feels like a lullaby. “If that’s what makes you feel better.”
>You look over at her and give her a half smile, one which both of you know isn’t genuine.
“It doesn’t,” you say. “It never makes me feel better.”
“Anything I can do to help? We can always do some more research on coping mechanisms, on ways to deal with attacks. You always have the pills in the bathroom if it gets too intense. There are some new drug trials if you-”
>You hold up a hand for her to stop, and she quickly falls silent. This isn’t what you need. Well, actually, you do need this, the same way you need food or even air. At least, everything in your head and body is screaming that you need all those things she’s saying. They’re the only things that feel good, and even when they make you feel like running as fast as you can out of this place, even when they make you feel trapped, they also make you happy.
>And that’s enough for now, right? Can’t you just enjoy those things? Be happy?
>Can’t you just stay inside?

(5/?)

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:54:49 No.29026871 Report

Quoted By: >>29026875

>>29026865

>You feel a sudden lump in your throat, and it doesn’t pass no matter how many times you swallow. Safe should be good. Comfort should be good. You want them. So why do those things set off a little voice in your head, shrieking and wailing like a warning siren? Then, another thought crosses your mind, and a shudder of horror ripples through your skin and sinews.
“Twilight,” you say hollowly. “I think I didn’t get the mail on the way up. In fact, I know I didn't.”
>She’s silent, and when you glance up you notice she looks even more worried. You don’t try to smile at her this time, it won’t help either of you.
“You can always stay here for a bit longer, relax and build up to it,” she tells you. "Baby steps, right?"
>Another delicious offer. You want it so bad, you want to take her up on that, but the more you stay here… the more you get comfortable and warm and happy… You know how damn hard leaving is going to be.
“I should go get it,” you say, but you don’t get up off the bed.
“You don’t have to," she says quickly. "You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, you’re an adult, you’re in charge.”
“But I do!” you say, and you’re suddenly shouting, heart racing, lungs feeling crushed under invisible weight. “I have to do this, you know that! I have to get up in the morning, I have to get out of bed. I have to go to work, take the bus home, get the mail, be responsible, pretend that I don't feel this way! I have to do all of that, because if I let myself stop, if I let myself stay in here… I…”
>Your eyes feel wet and sticky. Your cheeks feel hot. You turn away from Twilight, suddenly feeling a pang of shame that has no name or reason. Why is this so hard? This isn’t so hard for other people, it shouldn’t be hard for you, so why is this so fucking difficult?

(6/?)

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:55:56 No.29026875 Report

Quoted By: >>29026880

>>29026871

“I have to,” you go on, trying to keep your voice softer and more steady, “because if I don’t keep doing it, there will a come a day where I’m not able to anymore. And I can never let it get that bad. Not again.”
“It did get pretty bad for you,” Twilight says, but you don’t look back up at her. “But you got out of that. You’re so much better now, you’ve come such a long way and it’s okay to reward yourself sometimes.”
>You shake your head sharply.
“Not with this. Staying inside because I’m scared can never be a reward to me it… it feels too good.”
>This time you know damn well why you feel that pang of shame. You hold down tears, and force the lump in your throat back and down into your stomach. You can still feel it resting there, weighing you down, trying to keep you from getting up off this bed.
>Inertia is your worst enemy, you know that. You have to make that first motion, you remind yourself, as you have countless times before. It gets easier once you begin, so just stand up. Stand up, you can do it. You can at least stand up, so just do that, right now. Tense your legs, lean forward, and get off the bed. Do it. Just fucking do it, why aren’t you doing it? Get up!
>Get. Up.
>Your body doesn't move.
“Look,” Twilight says suddenly, and your eyes flick open. You’d almost forgotten she was there. “You can just get the mail really quick, you can run the whole way if it helps, and then come back. Then you can pour yourself a drink and watch an episode with me, and that can be enough for now. Is that a fair reward?”
>It’s not. It’s not really a compromise so much as a rewording of what you said you couldn’t do, but maybe, for today, you can accept that. Maybe it’s okay to be a little weak today. Just today.
“I won’t run,” you tell her.
>You can do that much.
“That sounds perfect then,” she says with a warm smile. “See? It’s not so bad if you can do that much.”

(7/8)

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 14:57:34 No.29026880 Report

Quoted By: >>29027963

>>29026875

>The warning sirens go off in your head with that thought, but you ignore them as best you can. Instead, you lean forward, reminding yourself of your decided reward, over and over. Do this one thing, then you can relax. Once your legs lock straight, that next step feels more reasonable.
>You can still feel the world outside lurking as you approach the door, and your hand shakes as you wrap it around the knob. You can still feel how big it all is out there how the small room behind you is so familiar, inviting, addicting. You have to tell your hand to open the latch several times before it finally does so, and the clicking sound it makes gives you a horrible feeling of sinking dread. Like your drowning. For a moment, you have the sudden impulse that you’re going to throw up, but luckily it never happens.
“I’ll be right back,” you say to the empty room behind you.
“Of course,” she says. “I’ll be right here waiting. I’m always right here with you if you need to run or hide.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” you whisper to yourself.
>Then, quickly, before your thoughts can get too loud and menacing, before your heart can beat too strong and too fast for your body, you open the door and take that first, hard, aching step outside.

-End-

(8/8)
http://pastebin.com/WMJ8Nf83

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 15:02:35 No.29026889 Report

Quoted By: >>29026910 >>29027571

>>29003659
I don't think people are as close now as they were then. You had Tinychats (even that fucking ERP one) and several inner circle Skypes that people regularly joined and participated in. There's no camaraderie that I've noticed in these last couple years.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 15:12:36 No.29026910 Report

Quoted By: >>29027173

>>29026889
It always made me sad that I was in the wrong timezone for that. I did do a few Tinychats, but the only one who would show consistently was Miro. Stupid kid. I wish I could have helped him be less selfdestructive, but he was not my responsibility.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 133271171025.jpg, 6KiB, 150x150

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 16:39:38 No.29027173 Report

Quoted By:

>>29026910
>Miro

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 18:16:58 No.29027571 Report

Quoted By: >>29028679 >>29028964

>>29026889
I'll still be your buddy, guy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 19:41:17 No.29027963 Report

Quoted By: >>29027965

>>29026880
I can masturbate to this.
Misery is my fetish.

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 19:42:32 No.29027965 Report

Quoted By: >>29027986

>>29027963

Well, then I feel I've actually fulfilled my usual obligation then. Huzzah.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 19:47:48 No.29027986 Report

Quoted By: >>29028017

>>29027965
Can you do a 4pone short? I want to see your take on them.

anonpencil

anonpencil Fri 09 Dec 2016 19:56:48 No.29028017 Report

Quoted By: >>29028160 >>29028686

>>29027986

Considering I don't know what that is because I guess I'm just out of the loop or old or tired or something, sure. Why not.

>You walk into Ponyville and spot Twilight Sparkle sitting at a table, eating a sandwich.
>She appears to be all alone and, being a good friend, you walk over to join her for lunch. As you settle down, she smiles up at you and waves a hoof.
"Hey Anon!"
"Hey Twilight."
>There's an awkward silence then, and you realize that you sat down without a conversation starter.
>Shit, that always ends well.
>Lucky for you, Twilight has it covered.
"Hey anon, what's your take on 4pone anyway?"
>You stare at her.
>She stares back.
"Well Twilight, I have no idea who or what that is so..."
"Ah."
"Yeah."
>Silence falls again. You can tell she's judging you with her big magical horse eyes. You feel naked under her piercing gaze, and not the fun kind of naked involving hot fudge and marshmallow fluff.
>After a minute of mind-shattering silence, you rise to your feet.
"Well, this has been awkward and fruitless," you say to Twilight.
>She rolls her eyes.
"Tell me about it. I don't know why you bother sometimes."
>Ouch. What a bitch.
"I'm just gonna...go. Now. Okay?"
>She nods, gives you a disgusted glance, and quickly goes back to her sandwich.
>As you leave, you make a silent promise to yourself never to try to have lunch with a pony again. At least, not without an exit strategy first.

-End-

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 20:29:20 No.29028160 Report

Quoted By:

>>29028017

Very meta. Chuckles were had.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO buddy_guy.jpg, 46KiB, 500x500

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 21:58:06 No.29028679 Report

Quoted By: >>29030227

>>29027571

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 123456789.gif, 3MiB, 417x235

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 21:59:45 No.29028686 Report

Quoted By: >>29030107

>>29028017

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 22:46:22 No.29028964 Report

Quoted By: >>29030987

>>29027571
I'm not your guy, friend!

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 23:18:41 No.29029193 Report

Quoted By:

>>29026333
>/prison/ again
Soon... 1 months.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 23:19:51 No.29029199 Report

Quoted By:

>>29024785
I didn't get it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 09 Dec 2016 23:22:17 No.29029212 Report

Quoted By:

>>29025383
Beautiful.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 01:44:19 No.29030107 Report

Quoted By:

>>29028686
Kek

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 02:04:53 No.29030227 Report

Quoted By:

>>29028679
Guy pls

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 04:10:36 No.29030987 Report

Quoted By:

>>29028964
Friend, why you gotta be like that

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sat 10 Dec 2016 05:00:09 No.29031299 Report

Quoted By: >>29031396 >>29031605 >>29032709

crossposting
>Be Anon in Twiggle's castle, reading a book
>Glim Glam comes over and speaks to you
>"Anon, make me a sandwich"
>You feel your body acting on its own
>Your body walks out, down the hall, and into the kitchen.
>On the way you make a brief stop at the bathroom.
>When you arrive at the kitchen your hands and arms work on their own and begin assembling a sandwich from the availible materials.
>One hand picks up a knife.
>The other holds the sandwich in place on the cutting board.
>Together they cut the sandwich into triangles.
>The two triangles are placed onto the plate and your body returns you to the library.
>"Thank you hot stuff."
>Glimmer begins to eat the sandwich.
>After a few minutes she falls over.
>You find your body once again moving on its own.
>As glimmer is picked up in your arms, you notice she isn't breathing.
>You can do nothing but watch as the pony is carried along with you back to the kitchen.
>Glimmer lands with a thump on the counter.
>Your hand once again picks up the knife.
>This time is is not a sandwich that is being sliced up.
>It is her flesh.
>Blood spills across both you and the kitchen, but nothing you try lets you stop this from happening.
>After a while Starlight has been butchered and readied to be cooked in the oven.
>Which is just what happens.
>While the oven is cooking you are forced to clean up some of the kitchen counter.
>You struggle futilely for control as your body stands there watching the oven timer.
>It does nothing to help.
>After several hours the cooked meat is removed and sliced.
>Your body uses the clean section of counter to construct a second sandwich, this time with meat in it
>Your orders completed, you curl up in a ball and have a nervous breakdown at the horror you have been forced to not only witness, but take part in.
>Twilight finds you that evening
>You ask her why this happened. Why did your body decide on it's own to do this?
>The following investigation reveals what has happened
>Trauma end.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 05:07:00 No.29031349 Report

Quoted By:

>>29013759
I laughed way too hard at this.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 05:13:13 No.29031396 Report

Quoted By:

>>29031299
I was in the RGRE thread when I read this and I didn't understand it. Now I do.

This was some dark shit, and I enjoyed it. Good work, Durnk anun.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 05:55:27 No.29031605 Report

Quoted By:

>>29031299
That was legitimately horrifying to read. Thanks.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sat 10 Dec 2016 07:11:10 No.29032104 Report

Quoted By:

crosspostan Writan 101, or how I learned to stop asking Pinkie Pie for help
>>29031989
>>29031909
Give it a go.
Having an idea to write is one of the hard bits.
Easymode guide to greening:
Introduce the setting/scene/character
>Be Anon in your bathroom.
Then write about things happening.
>You go to wipe your arse but there's no toilet paper.
>Shit.
>Literally.
>You call out for help.
"HEY PINKIE, I'M OUT OF TEE PEE!"
>Pinkie rises out from beneath you, lifting you upwards as her head pushes up.
>"Of course you are Anon, there aren't any buffalos for miles."
"I meant toilet paper."
>"Ohhhhhh, so that's why my hair is so sticky all of a sudden."
>This is disgusting.
>"Us ponies usually just use our self-clearing extendo anuses instead. I'll have to go look for some."
>Pinkie climbs out of the toilet and charges off
>You are still on her head, and still need to wipe.
>"TOILET PAPER HO!"
>You were a fool to ask for Pinkie's help.

See? It's not hard at all.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 07:53:44 No.29032214 Report

Quoted By: >>29032219 >>29032225 >>29032626 >>29034184

>>29013551
>>29013572
Oh boy, big update for tomorrow. I accidentally increased the size of this story by about 50% in one sitting. It's late so I probably fucked something up, so I'll give it a look through tomorrow and dump. About 9500 words in now, and we are JUST ABOUT TO REACH THE END OF THE EXPOSITION

I actually don't want this to become a 100-200 page fucking book but the way I have this planned that may end up happening. If so, lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 07:55:24 No.29032219 Report

Quoted By: >>29032291

>>29032214

Nah, what's gonna end up happening, most likely, is that you'll suffer burnout and abandon it at some point.

I mean, I hope you don't, but if it does, don't blame yourself.

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 07:56:30 No.29032225 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032214
eh i don't know about these fuckers but i would not mind if you make it book sized.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1481333150280[1].jpg, 715KiB, 800x1033

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 08:12:15 No.29032283 Report

Quoted By:

Starlight modified her spell to be a post-hypnotic suggestion. You don't know why, but you can't help but obey every command she ever gives you.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 08:13:18 No.29032291 Report

Quoted By: >>29032399

>>29032219
It usually happens well before this point. I usually either plan like a normal person and hate actually writing, or write freely and end up scrapping garbage. This time I'm doing some short term planning but have NO FUCKING IDEA where it's going in the long term, and I want to find out. It's like reading a book to find out what happens, except I'm also actually writing it. I have a rough sketch of content and characters for probably the next 10,000 words, but it's not an end. We'll see what happens after that.

Either way, I don't leave a story without an end, so it's probably gonna be ~25000 word minimum. That could be 250,000 too though.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 08:45:29 No.29032399 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032291
>>This time I'm doing some short term planning but have NO FUCKING IDEA where it's going in the long term
Carefull dude. Its way to easy to wright your self into a corner doing that.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 10:29:23 No.29032626 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032214
>book
>>book????
WHERE!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 10:36:54 No.29032642 Report

Quoted By:

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 11:27:24 No.29032698 Report

Quoted By: >>29032702

This kind of scares me. The new writers that is, dear lord don't ruin it now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 11:29:07 No.29032702 Report

Quoted By: >>29032713

>>29032698
Ahhh ruin what exactly?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 11:31:09 No.29032709 Report

Quoted By:

>>29031299
Anon is going to do some hard time over a long weekend in Pony prison.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 11:32:11 No.29032713 Report

Quoted By: >>29032755 >>29032758 >>29033440

>>29032702
Scare them off with our bitterness.
Just like all of our relationships.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 11:53:07 No.29032755 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032713
But that is the reason that i green fag here for a little girls show. Because y'all fuckers are honest.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 11:54:34 No.29032758 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032713
This.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:10:04 No.29032781 Report

Quoted By:

>"Like Oh my Celestia, that mare is soooo totally hot!"
>Everyday i see these stallions
>Sit and flip their hair
>Chew their candy and gossip
>I swear, they're everywhere!
>Amictus that barely cover, permed hair and colored eyelids
>If i hear just one more "Oh my Celestia!"
>I'm positive i'll vomit
>Is there anything between their ears?
>RGRE and Equestria, will be the world's destruction
>Chip the polish off their hoofs
>Tell them Cuddle Party has been cancelled
>And leave without a care
>So next time you see, one of these annoying freaks.
"Rape"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:11:31 No.29032783 Report

Quoted By: >>29032786

>Schnitzel
>Dat Schnitzel
>This Schnitzel
>Look Schnitzel
>Heil Schnitzel
>Eat Schnitzel
>This is Schnitzel

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:13:17 No.29032786 Report

Quoted By: >>29032791

>>29032783
"RADA Rada rada!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:15:51 No.29032789 Report

Quoted By: >>29032802

> be me, Anon or some shit
> spend my days fucking my waifus and fucking ponys
> the bitches love this shit
> get a letter from Twilight
> wants me to meet her at a Castle bedroom
> no comdom needed here
> meet up at room, fuck, 8/10 sex
> 9 months later some mail bitch gives me a letter
> waifu is pregnant
> fuck fuck fuck
> can't be mine
> go to the birth just to make sure it's not some diamond dog kitten
> looks just like me
> nevershouldacumhere.mp3
> MFW

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Schnitzel-Wiener-Art.jpg, 31KiB, 510x244

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:17:15 No.29032791 Report

Quoted By: >>29032795

>>29032786
Nein! Anon! Nein!!!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:18:59 No.29032795 Report

Quoted By: >>29032806

>>29032791
That look delicious.

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:19:38 No.29032796 Report

Quoted By: >>29032810

>Your name is Anon.
>But you are unable to speak in a way to convey what your name is.
>So you have been given the name “The Doctor”.
>It has been given to you in the same way a urban legend gets its own name.
>Well you are a bit of a urban legend anyways.
>You spend your time going village to village helping those who are sick and or crippled.
>It’s not an easy life but, it is the one you found yourself in.
>You have been traveling for 8 months now.
>You have seen a good amount of this land called Equestria that vaguely resembles the USA.
>Equestria for the most part is inhabited by vary interesting colorful sapient creatures.
>These ponies (as they call themselves) are kind spirited and are not creatures of war unlike humans.
>And also unlike humans, when they Create something for the first time with a very deep burning passion it is mundane.
>But when a creature such as your self creates something with a burning passion, it becomes something beyond powerful, it becomes cursed.
>Your curse is a mask that resembles that of a Plague Doctor mask from the era of medicine that truly was primitive.
>These cursed objects tend to bind themselves to the creator in some way making it near impossible to dispose of them
>You’re mask gifts a dark void of knowledge on all that is medicine and taking most physical pleasures in life as its cost for the knowledge.
>It has taken your ability to smell
>It robed you of the ability to sleep
>It stops you from consuming food
>Also it feeds off your bonds of love and friendship and in return keeps you alive to feed it more and to save more creatures so it can be feed even more.
>Life is now truly a special kind of hell for "Anon The Plague Doctor"
Would this shit even fly on this board?
Or is it jest shit?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:21:11 No.29032802 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032789
Funny.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:23:02 No.29032806 Report

Quoted By: >>29032808 >>29032813

>>29032795
Because it is.

t. half-german guy

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:24:53 No.29032808 Report

Quoted By: >>29032813 >>29032828

>>29032806
I wonder what happen to german anon in Equestria.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:25:43 No.29032810 Report

Quoted By: >>29032812 >>29032831

>>29032796
Eeeeh, depends a lot on how you spin it, but that mask sounds edgy as fuck. Is anon traveling to try and find a way to rid himself of the thing, are the poners aware of it?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:28:00 No.29032812 Report

Quoted By: >>29032831 >>29032976

>>29032810
I was gonna say edgy. but you steal my words in my mouths.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:30:17 No.29032813 Report

Quoted By: >>29032817

>>29032806
>>29032808
Ich weiß, ich hatte sie irgendwo!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:32:59 No.29032817 Report

Quoted By: >>29032823

>>29032813
I got you something german anon

>German Anon in Equestria
>Smacks ponies around with textbooks
>Such violence is unprecedented

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:35:37 No.29032823 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032817
>Smacks ponies around with textbooks
Goddamit anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:37:34 No.29032828 Report

Quoted By: >>29032834 >>29032855 >>29032866 >>29032896

>>29032808
Well, Hitler got to go to Equestria and he made friends with Celestia. German Anon gets to tell her some awkward truths about her friend that he neglected to mention.

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:39:44 No.29032831 Report

Quoted By: >>29032884

>>29032810
>>29032812
Edgy? hell no! the shit is cute to the ponys. Its more of a ballroom mask. Ill be honest here. I really dislike edgelord type shit.
And as for the traviling its more of a running away from the royal guards and shit cuz a different anon fucked shit up for humans by trying to remake the 3rd Reich in a sense.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:40:38 No.29032834 Report

Quoted By: >>29032838 >>29032902

>>29032828
How about we focus on soldier?
because i don't like officer. Sad history.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:43:51 No.29032838 Report

Quoted By: >>29032902

>>29032834
I remember history about 2 little brother soldier been executing.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1481334528033.png, 306KiB, 853x479

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:50:47 No.29032855 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032828

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:53:55 No.29032866 Report

Quoted By: >>29032888

>>29032828
German anon don't like hitler.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:57:05 No.29032884 Report

Quoted By: >>29032888 >>29032924

>>29032831
>I really dislike edgelord type shit.
So why are you strapping a 'you can't have nice things' mask onto anon?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 12:59:07 No.29032888 Report

Quoted By: >>29032924

>>29032884
This.
>>29032866
Future maybe, but those from the past don't know about it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:00:42 No.29032896 Report

Quoted By: >>29032902

>>29032828
I having a flashback from Letters from Iwo Jima again.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:03:34 No.29032902 Report

Quoted By: >>29032939

>>29032834
>>29032838
>>29032896
Wars are usually a group of young men who have no qualms with each other that are sent to kill each other by old politicians.

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:08:17 No.29032924 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032884
>>29032888
To be honest im up in the air about the no talking bit. But as for the rest its was more of a last ditch effort to save someone that he loved and it bit him in the ass. Though im still up in the air about that also.

>inb4 not having a perfect past counts as adgy

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:10:58 No.29032939 Report

Quoted By: >>29032947 >>29032950

>>29032902
Nazi soldiers were the best in the world, but they fought for the wrong cause.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:12:33 No.29032947 Report

Quoted By: >>29032959

>>29032939
Goddamit, don't remind me the history from Red army. better focus on pony.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:13:17 No.29032950 Report

Quoted By: >>29032959

>>29032939
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HF3pv6WsJrs
To bad about what happened in Russa with them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:14:57 No.29032959 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032947
>>29032950
The Russians would kill them, send them to gulags or make them serve in the red army. Wives and daughters: the russian pigs would rape the hell out to them. During the so called "liberation" of Berlin, 1/3 of all German woman were raped.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1175984__solo_rarity_solo+female (...).jpg, 261KiB, 1280x1150

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:17:33 No.29032966 Report

Quoted By: >>29032978 >>29032980 >>29032983 >>29033041 >>29033136

Let talk.. dis pony 29999999

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO scared glim glam.png, 141KiB, 341x403

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:19:32 No.29032976 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032812
>mouths

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:20:09 No.29032978 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032966
Rarity has a webcam show that consists of a remote camera placed lovingly inside her anus that broadcasts for 8 hours at a time.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:20:47 No.29032980 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032966
das a good pon

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:21:27 No.29032983 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032966
Holy shit....

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:21:45 No.29032984 Report

Quoted By: >>29032988 >>29033001 >>29033062 >>29033107

>Be Neo nazi anon
>Wake up in EQ
>Start getting home sick for Germany
>you craft a microphone with a Swastika on it
>Gives you power to sway the masses
>Take over canterlot and get celestia banished by convincing them she is a shit teir wafu
>You become king of EQ
>Next the world
>All while putting all the Ziggers into "Freindship Camps"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:24:53 No.29032988 Report

Quoted By: >>29032992 >>29033002

>>29032984
Why would he banish an upstanding white pone though?

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:26:27 No.29032992 Report

Quoted By: >>29033010

>>29032988
Do you really want queen bitch undermining your rule as god emperor with friendship?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:28:25 No.29033001 Report

Quoted By: >>29033016 >>29033107

>>29032984
>"Freindship Camps" are actually little camps where "ziggers" are sent to make friends
>may zebras are actually asking to be sent to these camps because they don't have any friends
>damn ponies messed everything up again

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:28:28 No.29033002 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032988
Like he say.
>Start getting home sick for Germany
He will gonna commit suicide if he no chance.
Remember, his was a soldiers.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:30:35 No.29033010 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032992
He was a soldiers. not a fucking hitler.
are you telling me, he kill a princess who can control a fucking sun and magic shield.
What is this? he disobey an order?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:31:39 No.29033016 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033001
Kek.

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:32:26 No.29033020 Report

Quoted By: >>29033022 >>29033031

What is up with you people?
If i meant killed i would of said so.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:33:41 No.29033022 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033020
Logic. History. i don't know.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Not Safe.png, 4MiB, 2600x2200

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:35:30 No.29033025 Report

Quoted By: >>29033031

PONY!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:36:37 No.29033031 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033020
Write, Green bump. Just focus on your green.
>>29033025
Damm... clever.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:40:24 No.29033041 Report

Quoted By: >>29033047

>>29032966
>Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria
>Anon was there because reasons
>Today he was having a lovely ABC in the bedroom with Rarity
>"Oh Anonymous dear, this has been such a lovely day spent with you."
"Y-you too."
>Anon replied, bumping her foreleg with his fist
"I don't know about you, but I'd sure love to end this lovely day with some loving cunnilingus, eh?"
>He declared, becoming Canadian momentarily
>Rarity gave him a confused look
>"I don't know what that is darling."
"Let me show you."
>He picked her up and laid her gently on her back
>There she lay, a look of alarm on her face, and legs splayed open to the fresh air
>"What in Equestria are you doing?!"
>Anon did not answer, for his eyes rested upon nothing but bare fur betwixt her legs
"What the hell is this? Where are your genitals?"

The End.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:42:16 No.29033047 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033041
oh you cheeky cunt youre in for it now

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:45:46 No.29033058 Report

Quoted By: >>29033463

Must... resist... urge... to write... green...

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO THIS WILL NOT END WELL.gif, 13KiB, 500x300

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:47:17 No.29033062 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032984

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1450112450912.jpg, 31KiB, 400x300

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:51:10 No.29033076 Report

Quoted By:

>>29019721
>Illustrated Collection of Human Erotica
>1) Doggy Style
>2) Rowing Boat
>3) Iron Stand
>4) Frog and Fan
>5) Dolphin
>6) Eagle
>7) Toad
>8) Backwards Slide
>9) Butterfly
>10) Stair Master
>11) Indrani
>12) Side Saddle
>13) Deckchair
>14) Fold
>15) Standing Wheelbarrow
>16) Kneel
>17) Catherine Wheel
>18) Prone Tiger
>19) Propeller
>20) Nirvana
>21) Splitting Bamboo
>22) Ascent to Desire
>23) Squat Balance
>24) Triumph Arch
>25) G-Force
>26) Rocking Horse
>27) Ascending Jupiter
>28) Spider
>29) Bandoleer
>30) Mermaid
>31) Ape
>32) Black Cherry
>33) Super 8
>34) Glowing Triangle
>35) Reclining Lotus
>36) Right Angle
>37) Shoulder Stand
>38) Y-Curve
>39) Galley
>40) Reverse Cowgirl
>41) Sphinx
>42) Hero
>43) Hound
>44) Amazon
>45) Seated Ball
>46) Lustful Leg
>47) Curled Angel
>48) Crossed Keys
>49) Kneeling Wheelbarrow
>50) Plunging Goat
>51) Slip and Slide
>52) Nickelback
>53) Buggy Ride Peacock
>54) Woodpecker
>55) Sparrow
>56) Crisscross
>57) Challenge
>58) Classic
>59) Double Decker
>60) Bending Thoracic
>61) Lawyer on Toilet
>62) Crunch
>63) Landslide
>64) Seduction
>65) Old Lotus Blossom
>66) Rock 'n' Roller
>67) Thigh Master
>68) Grip
>69) Supernova
>70) Whisper
>71) X-Rated
>72) Visitor
>73) Anal Invader
>74) Chip
>75) Balancing Act
>76) Bridge
>77) Close-up
>78) Hey batter don't forget to choke up
>79) Snapping Turtle
>80) Grandpa's Recliner
>81) Arctic Hoedown
>82) Shia LaBeouf
>83) Thai Staircase
>84) Pinch Hitter
>85) Jazz Butter
>86) Fridge Splitter
>87) Unlicensed Doctor
>88) French Helicopter
>89) Piggy back
>90) Sol

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 13:57:21 No.29033087 Report

Quoted By: >>29033107 >>29033130

>4 years you have ruled EQ now
>You have been acting unimpeded by any out side forces as you have made EQ a new world superpower
>With your new tech you have made winning will be a sinch
>With trade booming with all near by nations you ready your Trojan horses
>You have ordered the Ziggers of friendship to attack your trade routes causing panic over trade by the neighbors nations
>Under the disguise of protecting trade lines you have moved your forces all across the trade routs of EQ ready to suddenly spring onto action and kill the Rulers of the lands with you spys acting as trade ambassadors
>You have ordered them to dig in the trade routes with all the new train rails being layed you will have reinforcements with out the need of relaying on "magic"
>This world has never seen the likes of human war so your advantage is in your favor
>You sit and wait apon your thrown of bones of toughs who were still loyal to the old crown waiting for the perfect time to strike
>And for your shipment of cheeses to show up
>Can't have a war without cheese

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:04:47 No.29033107 Report

Quoted By:

>>29032984
>>29033001
>>29033087
Woops meant to link these. sorry about that.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1480478991818.png, 87KiB, 605x475

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:12:36 No.29033127 Report

Quoted By: >>29033131 >>29033335

So we are now done with the neo Nazi shit yet?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:15:21 No.29033130 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033087
>Can't have a war without cheese
Schnitzel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqyzFtc8-p8

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1397393001214.jpg, 794KiB, 1072x1280

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:16:29 No.29033131 Report

Quoted By: >>29033136

>>29033127
I agree, we should go back to discussing this pon

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:18:24 No.29033136 Report

Quoted By: >>29033141

>>29033131
No... This one >>29032966

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:22:18 No.29033141 Report

Quoted By: >>29033152 >>29033159 >>29033174

>>29033136
...aren't they, like, the same pony?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:26:25 No.29033152 Report

Quoted By: >>29033174

>>29033141
>Chubby Flank Rarity and Noble Rarity.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:28:08 No.29033159 Report

Quoted By: >>29033174

>>29033141
Same pony yes, but different body shapes.
maybe personality too.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Many rarity.png, 3MiB, 1366x768

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:34:04 No.29033174 Report

Quoted By: >>29033221

>>29033141
>>29033152
>>29033159
How about Multi-Rarity?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO unf.png, 65KiB, 500x375

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 14:48:45 No.29033221 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033174
Knows everyone's fetish Rarity.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 15:24:42 No.29033335 Report

Quoted By: >>29033337 >>29033357

>>29033127
Is national socialism your fetish?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 15:25:17 No.29033337 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033335
Ahhhhh yeahhh this anon understand.

Green Bump

Green Bump Sat 10 Dec 2016 15:30:12 No.29033357 Report

Quoted By: >>29033377

>>29033335
Yes how did you know?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 15:35:47 No.29033377 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033357
Magic.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 15:55:47 No.29033440 Report

Quoted By: >>29033547

>>29032713

I'm not a new writer. I actually returned for some reason. I'm not sure why, but I realized that I miss this place and miss the show, so here I am. I have finals now, but I'm gonna write some more afterwards.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 16:00:08 No.29033463 Report

Quoted By: >>29040165

>>29033058

Do not, give in.. let the green flow through you and out your fingertips. Spread it to us, drench us in it like the filthy fucking sluts we are.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 16:19:06 No.29033547 Report

Quoted By:

>>29033440
It's lonely out there and you are always welcome here. You filthy fucking loser.
I love you.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO fark_-xFbNtnIXzZWgRU6hU6h9z33pkc.png, 409KiB, 522x650

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:13:58 No.29034113 Report

Quoted By: >>29034125

Remember to wash your filthy pone once a day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:15:36 No.29034125 Report

Quoted By:

>>29034113
M-my pone isn't filthy, she is clean and pure

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1481010885572.png, 744KiB, 1447x2047

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:26:03 No.29034184 Report

Quoted By: >>29034192

>>29032214
>>29013551
>*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
>You can see through the windows that the guards appear to be enjoying their dinners, but the same pegasus who was manning the gate tower earlier eagerly gets up and comes to let you in.
>”We were wondering when you would come back! The whole platoon is itching to meet you.” He motions for you to come inside.
>Dinner appears to be a rowdy affair, the ponies seated at a single long mess hall table. You don’t count, but there’s probably about a dozen of them, all pegasus ponies minus the captain.
>Their laughter and loud conversation quickly dims as you and Twilight approach, but thankfully their smiles and good times remain. You can’t count how many times a scene has been ruined by the entry of a royal and her massive friend. The two of you hardly blend in.
>Captain Cream gets up to welcome you. “You’re back? Oh wonderful, I was worried you’d gotten lost or perhaps eaten by a hideous forest monster or maybe even a snake! Everyone’s been dying to meet you, let me introduce you! This is Raincatcher, this is Bright Flare, of course you met Square Dance, he let you in, oh and over here is…”
>As you’re individually introduced to each member of the guard, you can see they’re as tired of the formalities as you. They seem like a good crowd, ponies who would prefer a pint of cider and good music to pleasantries and idle chit-chat.
>”…And I think that’s everyone! Well, except for Sunset Skies, but he left two months ago. So, how was your search? Did you find anything cool? Are you leaving yet? I mean, don’t feel rushed, you can stay as long as you like, but I just want to know-“

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:27:36 No.29034192 Report

Quoted By: >>29034200 >>29034295

>>29034184
>”We found some really interesting things, yes.” You give Twilight a thankful glance for cutting her questions short. “I do have to know, though: are you aware of the massive complex beneath this tower? And if so, why is there no word of it in the Royal Archives?”
>Grinning as though she’s just received a puppy for her birthday, Captain Cream replies, “Yes, we know something is down there. There are brick portholes all over the field that lead to some kind of chamber. But, it’s not our job to investigate the tower, just to make sure that whatever’s outside of the fence stays outside of the fence.”
>Twilight pauses for a moment and blinks, clearly puzzled at this answer. “So has nopony done a thorough analysis of the tower? Nopony has gone through its ruins? Charted out what’s down there?”
>Captain Cream shakes her head. “No, the royal orders issued to us long ago were to simply guard the area from intrusion, and only with royal permission was anyone to enter. Since you’re an alicorn, you ARE the royal permission!”
>The grin somehow grows even wider. It reminds you somewhat of the smiles North Korean children would put on for the cameras, but genuine in nature.
>You fail to see what’s so enjoyable about the situation, but her impossibly good mood is certainly infectious. Perhaps it’s the sole source of morale in this remote, dumpy outpost?
>”That’s… odd. Hmm. Well, we can think on that later. Mind if we join you for dinner?”
>You and Twilight are readily served, although it takes a bit of work to sort out what you can eat from their horse greens.
>Thankfully, there seems to be an abundance of root crops, and you’re able to make a surprisingly decent stew of them.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:28:48 No.29034200 Report

Quoted By: >>29034206 >>29034295

>>29034192
>The guards have no problem with you staying, although they lack room in their barracks for even one more bunkmate, let alone an alicorn princess and giant companion. So, you’re staying in Starswirl’s place while you’re here.
>Not that Twilight was complaining. You wonder how many times she’s dreamed of spending a night in his tower.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:29:50 No.29034206 Report

Quoted By: >>29034214

>>29034200
>Morning. About 8 AM, if the sun’s rays are to be believed. You sit up and almost hit your head on the ceiling, as evidenced by the surprising feel of your hair brushing against it.
>As you stretch and look around the room, your eyes fall on a small purple form resting in an ancient bed. As expected, curled up around a book. Her flank slowly rises and falls, as light from the room’s sole doorway cuts across it.
>Cute. You wonder how long she stayed up with that book. Best not to disturb her.
>You decide to head over to the kitchen to see what you could find. Normally, you’d be wary of days-old milk in a land just beginning to adopt refrigeration, but there was obviously a strong protective spell on the structure to keep things in place.
>A few thousand years probably hasn’t done a thing to whatever’s in Starswirl’s pantry.
>Your suspicions prove correct as you open a cabinet to find fresh greens and vegetables waiting for preparation. The next few cabinets reveal jarred and preserved items of the same varieties, plus some new ones.
>You get out a few ingredients and spices to make another stew, although if your knowledge of cooking is anywhere near the level you think it is, this one will be much more savory than last night’s meal.
>You fill a pot with a pitcher of water found in one of the cabinets, and move to light the burner.
>Ah, shit. Magic-operated. You should have known. If this was an earth pony or pegasus’ tower, you might have found something more conventional, but a simple human like you was just lost among the basic appliances of a wizard’s home.
>That means Spackle is on breakfast duty.
>And you’re hungry.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:30:53 No.29034214 Report

Quoted By: >>29034219

>>29034206
>You move over to the bed and pluck the book of Twilight’s hooves, causing her to wake and move slightly. Let’s take a look at the cover.
“Investigations on the Reactions Between Mitochondria and Concentrated Magic Solutions, Vol. II.” She opens an eye and murmurs something. “An interesting title, if an irrelevant one for our purposes. Anyway, rise and shine, you’re on breakfast duty since everything in this damn place needs magic to function.”
>”Fivmorminets,” she mumbles.
>Your stomach growls in counter-protest. Sorry, Twiggles, we’re gonna need that horn of yours fired up and running ASAP.
>You put down the book and swiftly lift her up, eliciting a loud “WOA! HEY” from your unwilling quarry. You carry her under your arm to the kitchen and point her towards the magic burner.
“Hocus pocus and abra kadabra, I cast a spell of flame on thee, foul instrument! Magic wand, power on!”
>With a sigh, Twilight sends out a quick spark and lights the burner. Success!
>”If you’re done playing around, I’d like to get back to bed now. Wake me up when… whatever it is you’re cooking is done.” She magics herself free from your grasp and lazily floats over to the bed, unceremoniously crashing down on it.
>That’s why you don’t read in bed. It makes you a bad morning person.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:31:55 No.29034219 Report

Quoted By: >>29034224

>>29034214
>About twenty minutes later, the breakfast stew is finished cooking, and you rouse Princess Purple once more. This time, however, she’s slightly more willing to join you in the waking world.
>The first thing you do after breakfast is head down to the guard barracks. Between dinner and introductions last night, you forgot to send off a letter to Princess Celestia.
>For some reason, Twilight really hates writing letters, and you struggle to keep up as you try to transcribe her message.
>You drop it in the magic flame-pot thing that functions as a telegram here and set off for the underground library. Clouds have started to gather, and you wonder how rain is kept out of the library with so many portholes and with the breach in its side.
>More than likely there is a separate, more powerful protection spell on it. Twilight took a fly around the area and couldn’t find the breach from the outside, and so you already know that the structure has strong inbuilt magic.
>Cool.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:32:58 No.29034224 Report

Quoted By: >>29034229

>>29034219
>A few minutes later, you exit the library’s foyer and are immediately reminded of its grandeur and beauty.
>Your favorite area was directly below the entry platform, on the bottom floor.
>Here, light was dim, as the area was heavily shadowed. Some magical lamps even flickered on the ends of bookcases. However, the decorations were superb, with wall adornments, statues of multiple materials, and even the occasional fountain.
>If you had a place to read like this in college, maybe you would have spent more time studying.
>Twilight was most at home deep in the library’s maze of bookcases, or at the occasional desk inside a recess or corner area. These places were unremarkable, yet had an intensely academic atmosphere.
>Much like Twilight, or at least how she wished to be.
>Several more hours are spent collecting tomes of interest and potential value, and by lunchtime, you and Book Horse each have a pile up to your shoulders of reading material.
>”I think the most interesting find has been this study on astrophysical magic. We know now that our sun and moon are unique among other systems, and are powered entirely by magic where gravity would normally be the primary force.” She flips to another page in the book.
>”This book not only reaches the same conclusion, but also provides a bit of explanation on why, and on how the planet may have formed. Starswirl and a couple other researchers think it was likely a large magical nebula or gravitational field that encountered a catastrophic failure, perhaps one of those ‘black holes’ you talk about. From there, the magic may have spread into ordinary matter in our solar system.”

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:34:00 No.29034229 Report

Quoted By: >>29034237

>>29034224
“But where the hell did a giant magic nebula or whatever come from? What is it made of? Don’t forget the point of this quest, Twi.”
>In truth, you were growing a bit frustrated at your progress. Sure, you’d encountered many invaluable texts so far, but none of them brought you any closer to the answer you really sought:
>What the fuck even is magic?
>”Hey, Anon, chill.”
>If you had a nickel for how many times Dash had…
>”We’ll find something eventually. And I haven’t forgotten either. I stayed up a bit last night in the tower looking for something unfinished on the topic. Sorry I didn’t find anything, I got caught up in that book you found me with in the morning.”
>It’s really hard to hold a grudge against ponies. Or even be angry with them.
>Even if they’re colossal assholes in every way, they’re just too cute.
>Except Fluttershy’s brother. If he didn’t have the 40 bits he owes you next time you see him, you’re going to break his fucking wings.
“Thanks, Twilight. Really.” You look over at your pile of books again before continuing, “But I’m sure that even if we can’t find an answer to my questions, we’ll find many others in these books. I can’t believe Celestia didn’t know about this place, or have its books copied.”
>”I’ve been thinking about that. It does seem… curious, that Celestia wouldn’t order everything here copied. That book we found last night says that she knew of its existence, although perhaps not on this scale.”
>She pauses and looks around.
>”There’s so many original texts, or at least ones I don’t recognize, and we’ve barely scratched the surface of this place. I just wonder if there’s a bigger reason for it being sealed and preserved than simple oversight.”

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:35:02 No.29034237 Report

Quoted By: >>29034245

>>29034229
“You think there’s something here that Celestia wanted hidden?”
>”Honestly? Maybe. But we’ve sent out a letter, if she wanted us out of here she would’ve responded already.”
“You’re probably right.” Your stomach growls to remind you of the time, and so you propose, “Perhaps we should find somewhere to eat? I’d like to avoid meals on the ground.”
>”Actually, I saw a few tables in the south wing of the library.” That was the long side. “We can find a place there.”
>As you start the walk across this massive facility, you hear the familiar sound of rain on a rooftop above. You instinctively look up.
>What you see causes you to pause, and when Twilight follows your gaze, she stops as well. As the rain pours through the ceiling, it is caught by streams of translucent indigo magic, which snake across the ceiling and around obstacles before funneling water into a vent above the foyer.
>The streams, although not strictly linear, are nevertheless well-organized, and as water flows under each hole in the ceiling, the light poking through them shimmers and is dyed a brilliant blue.
>The corner breach, however, simply allows rain to pour in, dampening the books nearby but seemingly causing no lasting damage.
>The protection spells on this place are strong.
>”I’ll have to learn that one for the castle,” Twilight simply remarks before continuing on to the tables. You hurry and catch up to her.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:36:11 No.29034245 Report

Quoted By: >>29034253

>>29034237
>After lunch is over, the two of you explore a bit more in this part of the library. Due to its distance from the center, it’s naturally the last part you’ve explored.
>The very end of the wing is characterized by the seating area you just used, a large array of study desks organized into neat rows and columns, and an open plaza area where the local channel of water flows into the wall. At the very end of the stream is a large, shallow pool with an enormous marble statue in the center.
>The statue is of a minotaur, his face grim and aged. His muscles are straining to uphold some unseen weight, and his hooves are cleverly sculpted to appear as though they are digging into the earth beneath.
>You take off your boots and join Twilight in examining the statue up close. The water is ice-cold, but you don’t mind much.
>A closer look reveals that the statue is covered in a language unrecognizable to you. Interestingly, the characters closely resemble those of Latin, with several being completely identical. The language is obviously very different overall, however.
“Twilight, what language is this? It bears a few resemblances to an ancient form of writing on Earth, maybe they’re tied together?”
>”It’s a strange dialect of Old Equestrian. I can read some of it but other parts are a mystery to me.” She shakes her head. “Whoever engraved it obviously knew what they were doing. This is expert, meticulous work.”
>You’re not entirely sure how some of the lettering was engraved at all, as your intuition tells you that many parts should break off at the touch of a chisel.
>Probably magic. Again, that elusive force.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:37:13 No.29034253 Report

Quoted By: >>29034260

>>29034245
>As you examine the front of the statue, your eye catches on a bit of readable text directly beneath the minotaur’s pectorals. Scratch that, your eye catches on a bit of ENGLISH text. With actual English characters, not the horse scribbles you’d grown accustomed to reading.
“Twilight, come look at this.”
>She comes over and peers at the words, obviously perplexed.
>”I’m stumped. I don’t recognize the language at all, nor most of its symbols.”
“I do. This is English, written in the same form as many in my world wrote it.”
>This is weird. Weird as in, ‘holy shit this could change a lot of things’ weird.
>The characters are actually in Gothic style, but that’s a minor point of interest compared to the simple fact that English text exists in this world.
>”So, that means that our verbal compatibility isn’t just a coincidence then? Interesting, but not surprising. This answers a lot of questions but opens up even more.” You can practically hear the gears turning in her head.
>”What does it say?”
“It’s just a few lines. ‘Those who can read, find a steed, grounded but able to fly in air and magic. But take heed, this road will lead, to a world changed forever.’”
>You’re slightly bothered that it doesn’t rhyme at the end, but you’re not much of a poet either.
>”Well that’s hardly a riddle. A fusion of earth pony, pegasus, and unicorn. Alicorn. Boom, we have one. And you’re someone who can read it.”
“So what do we do?”

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:38:21 No.29034260 Report

Quoted By: >>29034267

>>29034253
>”Let’s try some magic, for a start.” She begins to channel some of her deep violet magic into a small ruby placed above the epigraph. After a few seconds, she stops.
>Nothing’s happening.
>You turn to her and open your mouth, but with timing that can only be replicated in movies and fiction works with clichéd authors, the statue’s left arm suddenly shifts downward slightly.
>ItsHappening.gif
>Now’s the part where a secret door or something opens up, righ- oh there it is!
>Sure enough, a portion of the wall begins to slide sideways, sending artifacts likely worth thousands upon thousands of bits crashing to the floor.
>”Anon.”
“Secret tunnel, I see it. This place gets cooler by the minute.”
>The tunnel is built with the same elegance as the rest of the library, with brass busts of ponies adorned along the marble and stone walls in small cubbies and flickering magic lights above each. You also notice a number of minotaurs featured in the sculptures.
>The hall is well lit, with bright wall sconces adding to the small lights over each bust, so at least no creatures of the dark would be surprising you.
>About fifty feet down, the tunnel takes a 90 degree turn to the left. You and Twilight cautiously round the corner, wary of potential dangers.
>You hope she’s watching out for traps as you are, this place could be filled with them.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:39:37 No.29034267 Report

Quoted By: >>29034295 >>29034505

>>29034260
>Another hallway, and this one is much longer. It continues on for hundreds of meters, with the constant theme of brass busts and flickering yellow lights for as far as you can discern.
>Whether from fear, awe, both, or something else entirely, you and Twilight are completely silent. Only the sound of your slow footsteps on the fine stone walkway and their echoes break the absolute silence of this hallway.
>As you walk further, more busts begin appearing as minotaurs. Towards the end, some are also of dragons, and you even identify a draconequus.
>After what seems to be an eternity, you and Twilight reach the end of the hallway. This time, it opens up into a room, this one distinctly different from the other architecture you’ve seen. The walls are primarily covered in dark wood bookcases with green velvet accents, the floor is a comforting rouge carpet and you can spot a number of work areas with papers, quill pens, and inkwells scattered about.
>Directly in front of you, two archways reveal a flight of stairs heading down, this time lit from the ceiling rather than the walls. The hallway is wider than the one you’ve just traveled through, and maintains the hardwood theme of this room.
>As your eyes scan the room, you feel Twilight freeze, and realize she’s pressed into the side of your leg. You turn to look at what’s caught her attention, and spot a desk much larger than the rest in the room.
>And a figure sitting at it, quietly writing as it is illuminated by the soft glow of indigo magic wrapped around its pen.

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO twi_cute_baghold_edit.png, 793KiB, 4531x5864

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:43:02 No.29034295 Report

Quoted By: >>29034304 >>29034318 >>29034960 >>29035292

>>29034267
And that's it for this update. Get cliffhanger'd. Comments/criticisms/cheerleading always appreciated.
>>29034192
>>29034200
What should I do about sections like this, where the character count is just barely over the cap but it's followed by a time jump? Should I separate it into two equally-sized, smaller blocks, or do as I did here? Or should I just try to fill out each block with max characters and use a line of some sort to denote a break?

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:44:10 No.29034304 Report

Quoted By: >>29034887

>>29034295
Also, PB: http://pastebin.com/pUGK5fhy

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 18:46:10 No.29034318 Report

Quoted By:

>>29034295
Don't worry about it too much. All your green got out and that is the only important thing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 19:21:44 No.29034505 Report

Quoted By: >>29034881

>>29034267
>cliffhanger

why must you hurt me so

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 20:33:37 No.29034881 Report

Quoted By:

>>29034505
Babe please, this is how we do.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 20:34:39 No.29034887 Report

Quoted By:

>>29034304
goooooooooooooooood job Jew.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Nun Rarity smile.png, 150KiB, 955x1280

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 20:44:42 No.29034960 Report

Quoted By: >>29035033

>>29034295
Something odd happens while you sleep...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 20:53:03 No.29035011 Report

Quoted By: >>29035927 >>29037229

Small green... I guess something about Equestria got Intermagic (Internet) somehow got connection from Earth. can browse their website, but can't send messages or any reply.

>Ambassador: "Greetings, on behalf of humanity I wish to open trade and diplomatic negotiations."

>Alien Pony: "Are you... Jackie Chan?"

>Ambassador: "Uh... umm...."

>Alien Pony: "You're Jackie Chan, aren't you? Hey guys check it out it's Jackie Chan."

>Ambassador: "Uh... I'm not Jackie Chan. I was selected to initiate first contact due to my diplomatic experience.."

>Alien Pony: "Dude, someone give him a ladder or something. This will be hilarious."

>Ambassador: "I... I really don't want any trouble..."

>Alien Pony: "OH SNAP HE JUST SAID THAT. I told you guys he's Jackie Chan."

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO srsniggaouttahere.jpg, 51KiB, 725x820

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 20:56:25 No.29035033 Report

Quoted By:

>>29034960
>anthro

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 21:30:02 No.29035292 Report

Quoted By:

>>29034295
I think you should split it up, since somebody might miss the line that you'd use if it's at the top of the post.

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria Sat 10 Dec 2016 21:53:38 No.29035472 Report

Quoted By: >>29035481

>>28998876
>Filli Vanilli

>"Hey Fluttershy, you know that event last night go me thinking. Maybe I should get a pet."
>Fluttershy smiles but says nothing.
>The silence drags out.
>"Aren't you gonna sing the song?"
>She shakes her head.
>Another long silence occurs.
>"Should I come back later?"
>She nods.
>"Ok then."

>Twilight Time

>"Hey Nonny, what ya doing here? I thought you didn't eat hay?"
>"I don't but they make a good salad."
>"Okie dokie lokie. But what ya looking at? You got that weird beady eyed Nonny is concentrating look."
>"I'm watching Twilight inhale hayburgers."
>"Inhale?"
>"Yeah, it's incredible. I bet she could even beat you in a hayburger eating contest."
>"How very dare you Nonny. I am insulted!"
>"Don't believe me? Just watch."

>It ain't easy being Breezies

>The door to Rarity's boutique slams open.
>"Rarity I need your help! IT'S A CUPCAKE ALPHA EMERGENCY!"
>"Pinkie Pie, calm down dear. Now what seems to be the matter?"
>"Anon met one of the Breezies resting at Fluttershy's and then he went crazy in the coconut!"
>-------Meanwhile at Sugarcube Corner-------
>"It's me Anon. Mr Cake. Your friend. Now put down the spatula slowly."
>"Hur de burt dee fluur, fune de pert de durr durr flurr urne. BORK! BORK! BORK!"

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria Sat 10 Dec 2016 21:54:49 No.29035481 Report

Quoted By: >>29035496

>>29035472
>Somepony to watch over me

>"Sweetie are you here?"
>"Over here!"
>Heading towards the voice you catch sight of-
>"Oh for the love of."
>Your date has two of her heads trapped in two trees.
>Setting down the flowers you move to help untangle your date.
>"You tried eating ponies again didn't you."
>"Uh uh, we just wanted the pies she had."
>Oh you just said the wrong thing girlfriend. Lashawnda, your inner sassy black woman, has been summoned.
>"Mmmmmhmmm, I know y'all be lyin' to me."
>Your finger is waggling like a possessed serpent.
>"It was her idea."
>"No it wasn't"
>"This lifestyle may have worked fo yo momma but it is not workin' fo you and it ain't workin' fo me."
>Lashawnda is pissed tonight.
>"We're sorry."
>"Mmmmhmmm."
>You're gonna miss your restaurant reservation because of this.
>Lucky Gustav owes you a few favours. Might still be able to get a table.
>Why do you always go for the weird ones?

>Maud Pie

>"Ah, marvelous."
>Another peaceful, sunny day. Just reading in your garden.
>*CRASH*
>"WHAT THE FUCK!"
>Spluttering and coughing, you try to waft the cloud of dust away.
>"FUCK ME!"
>Continuing to cough dust out of your lungs, you spy a boulder and a pile of rubble where a corner of your house used to be.
>"Oh what the fuck!?"

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria

He-Anon and the Masters of Equestria Sat 10 Dec 2016 21:56:36 No.29035496 Report

Quoted By:

>>29035481
>For whom the Sweetie Belle tolls

>"But I don't like school plays Spike. Bad memories......"
>"Quiet, it's starting."
>
>"Forsooth and anon, I cometh forthwith and post haste with glad tidings my ladies."
>----Some time later----
>Sweet mother of Luna you hate Shakespeare.

>Leap of Faith

>"Ah, Mayor Mare? Is it really a good idea to build the diving board this high?"
>"Well of course Anon, you need to have different heights for different dives."
>"Yeah I get that. But the plans you've given me, the board at the top is pointing away from the pool."
>As you look up from the designs in your hand, you find yourself alone.
>Wait, what the? Where'd she go?
>"Mayor? Mayor? Aw hell."
>Fine, you'll build it. But you are not taking the blame for anything that goes wrong.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 10 Dec 2016 22:56:18 No.29035927 Report

Quoted By:

>>29035011
Got a smile out of me.

Zew

Zew Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:02:39 No.29036265 Report

Quoted By: >>29036283

>>29026333
>A head tilt from the mare revealed an odd similarity in body language between your species
>She was curious, but who wouldn’t be the first time they see an alien?
>Once she comes within half a meter of you, the stallion from behind re-animates and begins neighing wildly at his friend
>She replies loudly with a few grunts, silencing the stallion
>What was happening here? You just wanted to get your shit and leave
>She closes the final space between you with a leap, pouncing upon your feet
>Before you know it she’s standing on her rear hooves and excitedly pushing against your thighs with her forelegs, all the while whinnying like a wild thing
>Finally her hooves wrap around one of your legs in some kind of hug, or attack, before stepping away
>All the while the brown-orange stallion had maneuvered his way back in front of you, he was rummaging through his sac, looking for what you’d stolen
>More like ‘retrieved’ actually
>The two exchange a few… words? The blue maned one then extends and presents her hoof to you
>Thus far their behaviour and gestures were remarkably human, so going on an educated guess you crouch down and extend your hand, wrapping it around the hoof, which eerily somehow grasps you back, and shake it up and down
>The mare beams a smile to you and jumps around happily, neighing something to her friend before tripping and barrelling into him, knocking them both down
>An involuntary chuckle leaves your lips
>You’d forgotten how fun it was to interact with xeno-terrestrials, or at least the one who’s culture wasn’t insane or didn’t have any kind of hivemind thing going on... or weren't made toxic gas
>And the cuteness of these damn things was off the charts
>The mare gets back up and attempts to drag you over to, and present you with, your equipment module
“Good job, I don’t know why I was hiding from you little guys before, just a soldier’s paranoia I guess.”

Zew

Zew Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:06:41 No.29036283 Report

Quoted By: >>29036309

>>29036265
>They look a bit perturbed at your speaking, but why wouldn’t they, it’s an alien language
>You step into the small room that was your equipment module
>About the size of a large walk in closet it was
>Magnetized walls held boxes of ammo, weapons, electronics and survival gear
>Trying to move further into the room proves difficult as the two curious natives, having lost all fear of you, rush in past, the white mare darting between your legs almost tripping you up
“Bloody things.”

<| °_° |>

>[Earlier yo]
>Be Raan thar etc whatever you hate your name, it’s Ratchet for all you care
>You knew the bush had been moving and the noises had come from here, yet there was nothing to see
“Sky I don’t thi-
>”RATCH BEHIND YOU!”
>Sky’s shout echoes through your mind, a chill of fear ripples along your skin, slightly puffing your coat
>Swivelling around you’re faced with the alien, the upside down alien; his cold emotionless eyes ripping your soul apart
>Or they were just looking at you, fear made you think strange things
>He drops from the tree and snatches something from your bag faster than you can think
>It would have been that little rectangle
>You’d have gone to check if your body could respond to the instructions you were giving it
>The alien says something… alien, like a soft toned monkey or ape howl
>Paralysed in fear you watch as Sky charges up the crater slope towards the alien
>What was she doing?! She couldn’t be thinking of attacking it could she?

Zew

Zew Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:12:13 No.29036309 Report

Quoted By: >>29036331

>>29036283
>The alien turns to watch her approach, which suddenly slows
>She looks at him in confusion before stopping just shy of him
>Awareness of your body slowly returns to you as concern drives you to action
“Sky! What are you doing? Get back! He could be dangerous.”
>”What? No way! Look at him, he’s just standing there, calm as anything, all he did was take something from your bag.”
>She was right, he wasn’t actually attacking, nor did he look particularly aggressive
>While distracted by Horizon Sky, you slowly edge back around from behind him
>A quick search of your bag tells you he did indeed take the rectangle
>You look up from your bag. There was a gleam to Sky’s eyes, one you didn’t like
>Suddenly she dives onto the alien and clambers to her hind legs, balancing herself and tapping against the alien’s legs
>To your utter astonishment the alien barely reacts to her sudden actions
>Honestly you expected a reflexive kick to send her soaring to the horizon
>”Alien! Welcome to Equestria! I will be your emissary today and your first contact with our species!”
>She stops to take a breath
>”We know your ship is all broken to bits and black magic stuff, so we’re here to help! Look, we even got your box open!”
>Oh Celestia what was she doing? What kind of an introduction?
>That gleam was still in her eyes
>”And while you’re here you will be staying with us!”
>/Will be/ there was no arguing the point, she was planning on taking it back home and there was no way to stop her
>This alien was going to have a fun time

Zew

Zew Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:17:14 No.29036331 Report

Quoted By: >>29036345

>>29036309
>Shockingly Sky attempts to hug the creature’s leg
>”And you’re so adorable! You’re getting a make-over and you can have my bed for the night, but I’ll also be in it, I needed a new teddy bear anyhow.”
>Her hoof shoots out
>”Do you agree?”
“Sky I don’t think it can understand-
>The creature’s paw moves out and wraps around Sky’s comparatively diminutive hoof, giving it a firm shake
>…
“What was that!?”
>She smiles widely at the alien before jumping for joy
>”Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Look at me!” She yells, voice gaining mystic tone, “The Alien Whisperer!”
“I don’t think that counts as making an agreement.”
>She bounces towards you
>”Nonsense you saw it he shoo-AH!”
>Unable to stop the momentum of her jump, she flies into you, knocking the two of you to the ground
>The alien makes an odd hooting howl, guttural and from the stomach. Was it laughter?
>You scramble back up, Sky already dragging the surprisingly willing alien to his big metal box
>He says something, but the two of you can only listen unknowingly
"You know we can't take him home, he's too big."
>"We'll make it work. Now then..."
>She turns to the alien
>”Come on, we opened it up, do what you have to and we’ll be off in no time.”
>The situation was absurd, but everything was so… amicable? Cheery?
>Just plain strange

Zew

Zew Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:20:36 No.29036345 Report

Quoted By: >>29036399 >>29036409 >>29036433 >>29036584 >>29037095 >>29039382 >>29039888

Is anyone reading this btw? Is it even good?

>>29036331
>You were most certainly no longer afraid, Horizon’s immediate informality, even with the language barrier, had somehow disarmed any tension in the situation
>He was a reasonable alien
>He steps into the box which, as it turned out, was a large room full of strange looking tech
>The very sight of it had you drooling
>Sky darts through the alien’s legs, almost tripping him up, and looks about eagerly
>Unable to resist yourself you rush past the alien too
>The first thing to draw your attention was an odd shiny flat rectangle held to the wall
>It had some sort of screen and by the look of it would comfortably fit in the alien’s paw
>He wasn’t watching you, so if somehow found its way into your hooves
>It felt like it had been held in place via a magnetic force
>What is this thing? How does it work?
>Rolling it between your hooves you’re overcome by a sense of dread
>You can feel your cutie mark, or special talent really, conspiring against you, as your internal questioning initiates your most peculiar method of learning
>Unable to stop you can feel the little trembles from your hooves working into the device
>As your hooves move along its surface the screen flashes on, showing stream of odd symbols running along it
>The screen’s image blinks and jumps about as your odd, and suddenly uncontrollable, skill comes to an end
>The rectangle breaks apart in your hooves, magically split into each of its individual components, the pieces clattering to the floor
“…Fuck.”

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:30:46 No.29036399 Report

Quoted By: >>29036433

>>29036345
Probably not, considering I haven't seen a pastebin posted here nor in the old thread

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:33:06 No.29036409 Report

Quoted By:

>>29036345
i am, and i am enjoying it, i would also like more

LeStrange

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pc5.png, 2MiB, 1440x1047

LeStrange Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:33:50 No.29036411 Report

Quoted By: >>29036419 >>29037066 >>29037356 >>29039888

>>28995976
Just you fucking wait I'm going to bring PiE back one way or another!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:35:23 No.29036419 Report

Quoted By:

>>29036411
Yeah yeah, go back to being dead

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:38:45 No.29036433 Report

Quoted By: >>29036484 >>29036577

>>29036345
I'm reading, I'm just not saying anything. I really like it, but like >>29036399 said, where is pastebin?

Zew

Zew Sun 11 Dec 2016 00:48:07 No.29036484 Report

Quoted By:

>>29036433
Yeah I should do that. Gimmy a sec.

Zew

Zew Sun 11 Dec 2016 01:00:09 No.29036577 Report

Quoted By:

>>29036433
http://pastebin.com/u/Zew
There you go.

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Sun 11 Dec 2016 01:01:17 No.29036584 Report

Quoted By: >>29036595

>>29036345
Yes, it's actually pretty damn good.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 01:03:09 No.29036595 Report

Quoted By:

>>29036584
and cute!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 02:16:09 No.29037066 Report

Quoted By:

>>29036411
Yisssssssssss

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 02:20:23 No.29037095 Report

Quoted By: >>29038945

>>29036345
Sooooooon Zew, we will enjoy the candy hole.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 02:33:06 No.29037186 Report

Quoted By: >>29037206 >>29037546 >>29038188 >>29038915 >>29039286

Anon, I may be gone crazy. I'm reading AIE Thread from 1 to 172 in 3 months. somehow. I really want to go home and read.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 02:36:30 No.29037206 Report

Quoted By:

>>29037186
Just quit your job and enjoy your freedom.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Jesus Allegory.png, 40KiB, 150x193

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 02:39:55 No.29037229 Report

Quoted By:

>>29035011

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1428112826668.jpg, 154KiB, 1200x1200

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 02:55:42 No.29037356 Report

Quoted By:

>>29036411
Bravo, good sir, bravo.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 03:29:30 No.29037546 Report

Quoted By:

>>29037186
don forget the rainbro too

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 05:21:54 No.29038188 Report

Quoted By:

>>29037186
You got enough autistic reading until the death of 4chan right there

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 07:57:01 No.29038915 Report

Quoted By:

>>29037186
Shit man that's not even when stuff started to pick up speed. Good luck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 08:05:25 No.29038945 Report

Quoted By: >>29039157

>>29037095
Please explain

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 09:22:46 No.29039151 Report

Quoted By: >>29039353

I'm stealing He-Anon's idea and rewriting the season 6 finale because it was garbage.

>When we last left off Discord, Trixie and Thorax were captured with Starlight Glimmer facing down Queen Chrysalis after banging on her throne with a rock.
>"I know what it's like to lead by fear and intimidation! And I know what it's like to want everypony to do what you say! But I was wrong. A real leader doesn't force her subjects to deny who they are! She celebrates what makes them unique and listens when one of them finds a better way!"
>The dark queen as black as obsidian and as hungry as a serpent drips her words laced with ichor.
>"You've led for what, a few years? I have led the changelings for over a millennia, watching as the hive waxed and waned. The Crystal Empire was not our first defeat, and every time we have been beaten we struggled to recovered, but in time grew to challenge the ponies yet again. Now, at our hour of triumph, you seek to lecture ME about alternatives based on a traitor's mutation?"
>"You have to believe me. The evidence is standing right in front of you."
>"It's true!" the caught changeling with florescent wings unlike his brethren shouts, "I don't feel the constant hunger anymore."
>If ever there was a changeling so spited by the queen in the past as this one his memory has been forever erased as much as her look told would be his. Yet, with the cutting soothing voice only capable by the true machiavellians she was instant with her own quip.
>"You may not feel hunger, but the hive does. I will enjoy draining every ounce of your essence to feed that hunger and to serve as an example of what happens to those who defy the will of the hive for their own self gain."
>With snake like tongue gleefully wiggling in the air, Queen Chrysalis walks to Thorax leaving Starlight Glimmer to her guards.
>But then a sudden knock echoes through the chamber.
>Everyone freezes, their eyes hunting for the source. Louder it bangs and they all look to the vacant throne.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 09:23:48 No.29039157 Report

Quoted By: >>29039162

>>29038945
>A strange whirring noise unlike anything ever heard before attacks their ears at a high pitch as the sound of something perhaps very tiny struggles against a massive weight. Along the base of the warped structure jagged lines begin to work free the rock before a loud CRACK like an opening can causes everypony to jump.
>The whirring stops and all is quiet save for the few chips of rock free from the throne revealing gaping holes of darkness to the light.
"Boy am I stiff—Ow, fuck! Sensory overload. Chinese piece of junk."
>The changelings look to each other, Chrysalis to Starlight and vice versa.
>A grunting follows the curse. More and more fragments shatter. The guards take an aggressive stance.
>Then, the throne completely topples onto its back.

>There sits the Queen's seat of power, the source of protection the hive, split in two. Underneath it a hole the size of a minotaur and the depth of a pony captures all light while spewing out a foreign air.
>The object of her crusade successful in ruins, Starlight Glimmer fires her horn but to no avail. A sharp sneer would come from Chrysalis if not for the appearance of a beast unlike any ever seen clawing its way to the surface.
>The guards who were holding themselves tall deflate at the ever growing size of the biped pointed with the clicks of popping bones.
>You are Anonymous, and you take your first look at the world after you unknowingly long slumber.

>Numerous grey and blue bugs the size of dogs wielding a horn, fangs and obviously carrying the scars of battle with the frayed wings and literal holes in their legs cover practically every surface around you within a black and ooze like green...thing.
>They also surround a very small, and impossibly colorful, horse.
"Ridley Scott, you've fucked me."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 09:24:50 No.29039162 Report

Quoted By: >>29039165

>>29039157
>"It can talk!" the colorful horse says.
"It can talk!"
>Shit. Think quickly, brain.
"Hello, my name is Deus Ex Machina, but you can call me Anonymous."
>The tallest horrible bug thingy fires a laser right into your chest releasing snippets of electricity.
"Stop, that tickles."
>The horde of smaller ones armed, and armored, snap to attention with their sights trained solely on you.
>You weigh your seriously shrinking options looking to the colorful prey horse as a distraction.
>"The thing eating all of the magic," she mumbles, "it wasn't the throne. It was you."
>Is that a good thing? That doesn't sound like a good thing.
>Reversing the roles and using you as a distraction, she chucks a rock at the ceiling. It hits some sort of gooey pod thingy and a long slim bastardized version of several creatures mixed together falls to the floor.
"What the hell is with this place?"
>"Run!" the colorful pony yells.

>When facing a horde of angry giant bugs you don't have to be told twice.
>You book it in the immediate opposite direction of everything else.
>Another feminine voice shouts from the increasingly distant room; just as commanding yet far more powerful.
>"Quickly! Grab Discord before he wakes up!"
>"Too late, I'm afraid. You. Hurt. Fluttershy."

>You run through the hallways to whatever doors you can find when they are not continuously opening and closing themselves.
>None of this should be possible.
>You must still be dreaming.
>Yeah, it has to be a dream.
>Fuck this place. Fuck this place and everything about it.
>When the next door seals itself infront of your face you run straight through the wall with an absence of fucks to give.
>The paper mache-like walls give way and with the obstacles removed you make it to freedom.
>Not a moment too soon either as a giant ball of white light goes off like a nuke with the room your stasis chamber was in as the epicenter.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 09:25:52 No.29039165 Report

Quoted By: >>29039167

>>29039162
>Despite knowing the futility of trying to outrun the blast your freshly awakened legs high tail it across the desolate landscape fueled by pure adrenaline.
>Remarkably somehow the light never manages to overtake you. Like hell you are going to stop running though.

>Later, as you are catching your breath in the forest, the bushes rustle and you instinctively grab the largest stick you can find.
"Back! Stand back or I'll club you! I swear to God I'll do it!"
>The head of the pink pony with purple hair pops from the bushes, and you thankfully lower your weapon.
"Oh good, it's you."
>"H-hey...you. Um, thanks for the help. You may not know it, but you just helped save the world."
"Not my prerogative, but I'll take it. Now, since you' can talk and apparently not trying to kill me I need your help filling me on what the hell is going on here."
>"I-I know you're kind of creeped out, but if you can come back with me I'm sure everything will be explained."
"Well, considering my other options are wandering aimlessly or surviving in the woods I see little other choice. But I warn you, I'm keeping the stick."
>A jump-cut later and you're with a whole group of ponies with horns and wings, as well as that bastard creature.
"Holy shit, there's two of you?"
>"Not quite."
>A green flame envelops the Glim Glam next to you replacing her with the black bug.
"Ah!"
>You go to take a swing at it, and it flies in to the air hovering just out of reach. The original Starlight rushes to stop you.
>"Wait, wait, wait! He's not going to hurt you. We just thought you should see a friendly face."
"Then why not come yourself?"
>"Long story short you're a walking field of antimagic and we ponies can't fly, use magic, or sense the Earth around you. Thorax can because he's a changeling, and so he had the best chance of catching up with you."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 09:26:53 No.29039167 Report

Quoted By: >>29039229 >>29039888 >>29040383

>>29039165
>You eye the critter and he pleadingly looks back at you.
"Thorax? Really?"
>He shrugs.
"Alright. Magic, sure, whatever. I've been awake 15 minutes and everything here is crazy. Not to mention I'm talking with a horse. Either I'm in a dream or I am going to need some context real fast."
>The purple winged horned pony from the crowd steps forth with a smug look on her face.
>"It's a loooooong story."

>Roll credits

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 09:49:51 No.29039229 Report

Quoted By: >>29039306

>>29039167
>>Roll credits
IDK?!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 10:13:07 No.29039286 Report

Quoted By:

>>29037186
Damm son, you doing great.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 10:23:57 No.29039306 Report

Quoted By:

>>29039229
DHX

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 10:44:29 No.29039353 Report

Quoted By:

>>29039151
>garbage
You can't not say that anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 11:01:15 No.29039382 Report

Quoted By: >>29039533

>>29036345
Can't help laughing.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 12:16:11 No.29039533 Report

Quoted By:

>>29039382
Sometime Anon.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO TFM.jpg, 325KiB, 495x654

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 12:56:06 No.29039656 Report

Quoted By:

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sun 11 Dec 2016 14:22:49 No.29039888 Report

Quoted By: >>29039893 >>29039896

>>29036345
Keep going Zew.
You belong to us now.

>>29036411
Cute.

>>29039167
It's okay but need more chapters.

crosspostan
>Be Anon in Equestria
>Twilight sparkle is on your lap
>Again
>You are trying to drive to Canterlot but can't do that with a pony sitting on you.
>Every time you try to move her she bites you.
>So you're stuck here by the side of the road about a third of the way between Whinnyapolis and the Hoover Dam.
>Spike has left to get help.
>You wish you didn't leave the spray bottle at home.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sun 11 Dec 2016 14:23:27 No.29039893 Report

Quoted By: >>29039975

>>29039888
Crossposting something unfinished
>>28940496
>Be Twilight Sparkle, Fulretard sexist in Equestria.
>No wait, you're a pony.
>Be Twilight Sparkle, pony in Equestria.
>You don't even know what a sexist is.
>You've never even been to Fulretard.
>You are going to study friendship today.
>Applejack said she found a strange forest stallion in the forest when she was out losing Applebloom.
>He's big and tall and might be a dragon or a minotaur by her description of him.
>You are going to find him and make him your bitch-
>Make him your friend.
>Though the description does also sorta match diamond dogs, so maybe you'll make them your bitch.
>At the moment you are packing your things to go into the forest.
>Snacks, binoculars, paper, quills, Spike's snacks, first aid kit, Spike, rope,...
>You move around the castle getting your things and checking your checklists.
>Okay, that's about it.
>You head out towards Sweet Apple Acres.
>You get to Sweet Apple Acres.
>Granny Smith is lying motionless face down in a puddle of mud when you get there.
>You gently nudge her and she wakes up.
>"Whuh? Oh hello dearie."
"Hi Granny Smith, do you know where Applejack is?"
>"Ah reckon she'd be helping Big Macintosh move all that new hay that arrived today into the barn."
"Thanks Granny!"
>"Don't mention it."
>With that she falls back asleep.
>You leave her to her dirt nap and check out the barn.
>As Granny told you, Applejack and Big Mac are inside, trying to wrestle the hay into position.
>They aren't getting much done, it's more like they're just rolling around in the hay rather than lifting it.

Durnk anun

Durnk anun Sun 11 Dec 2016 14:23:57 No.29039896 Report

Quoted By: >>29039914 >>29040226

>>29039888
>You use your magic to help them out, picking up the bales and stacking them neatly.
>"Gee thanks Twi, this hay's been harder than a wet chicken to wrassle inta place."
>"Yup."
"Hi Applejack, Mac, I'm here about the sightings in the forest. Could you take me to where you saw the creature?"
>"Alrighty then, now that that hay's all stacked ah've got the afternoon free."
>Applejack leads you to the forest.
>Applejack leads you into the forest.
>Applejack stops once you reach a pond.
>"This is where ah saw him. He was over behind those bushes."
>You go and investigate the area your friend just pointed out to you.
>Upon closer examination there are some unusual prints in the dirt.
>With a simple tracking spell you have a glowing trail of prints to follow, whcih you do.
>They end at a paved path leading to a large structure in a grassy clearing.
>There is clearly only one thing to do in a situation like this.
>You trot up to the door and knock on it.
>The door soon opens to reveal a tall... something.
>"Hello?"
>You begin by introducing yourself.
"Hi, I'm Twilight Sparkle."
>"Why are you here?"
"I want to be your friend."

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 14:33:45 No.29039914 Report

Quoted By:

>>29039896
Cute. moar?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 14:54:45 No.29039975 Report

Quoted By:

>>29039893
>>Be Twilight Sparkle, Fulretard sexist in Equestria.
>>No wait, you're a pony.
>>Be Twilight Sparkle, pony in Equestria.
Brainwashing

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 15:39:28 No.29040165 Report

Quoted By: >>29040204 >>29041277

>>29033463
>"OIE YUE GITS, IM DA OWWPEE ROUND HEAR, 'N' I SAYS LES GIT TOIYPEN"
>"Boss, iz dis' really ness-ess-arry? Dere's soyintz t'be done"
>"DUNT GIMME TAT BEK TULK, YUE GIT 'ACK TO 'URK ROIGHT NAO"
>"OI, WUTZ WIF DA 'ORSIE DER. YER NO BOSS YA RUNT, NOW GET BACK IN DA FOIGHT BEFORE I KRUMP YA'
>"DIS'ERE O'RSIE IZ DAH BIGGEST O'RSIE IZ CUD'FIND, YUE WANNA'IND WAN BET'TA?"
>"YOU WANN' A SHOUTIN' MATCH, FOYNE DEN.
>"BETCHA CAN'T PUT ANOTHA' 'A' IN DERE WID'OUT 'URTIN YERSELF"
>"DIS'N'S ROYGHT. NEED PIKSHAHZ O' ORKY FINGZ LIKE SHOOTAZ"
>"ATE OUTTA TEN, WOULD WAAAGH AGAIN"
>"A GU'D WAR BOSS KEEPS 'ES SHOUT'IN VOIZE ON AT OWALL TA'MS, U'Z ROIGHT DOU, MOAR DAKKA EZ 'EED'ED"
>"BAAAAH, THE ELL WIT ALL UZ GITZ, DA LOT OF YA R MUCKIN BOUT DOIN NUTHN! ME ND ME BOY ERE WIL BE EADIN TO COMORROAGH TA KRUMP SUM OF DEM POINY ERES, C YA GITZ!!!"
>"ES A'INT DOIN NOTHIN YA GIT! WEZ YPEN UP IN DIS READ TO GIT MO O'RKS TA SEE WEEZE HEA AND 'RONG!!"
"YA GIT, YA FORGOT DAT DA EL'MANTZ OV ORKYNES AINT SUM GUBBINS, ITZ SUMTING WIFFIN DA BOYZ!
>"TREEKRUMPA, DA NOB DAT GOT ME UPSIDE ME 'EAD TO GET FOIGHTAN, IS DA EL'MENT OF KRUMPIN'!
GROTZAPPA, DA RUNTY WEIRDBOY DAT WUZ MUKKIN' ABOUT BUT KILLED DEM 'UMIES ANYWAY, IS DA EL'MENT OF 'AVING A LAFF!"
>"DOC SNEAKZ, DA MOST UNORKY OF DA BOYZ, STOPPED ME FROM KRUMPIN' DAT RUNTY SQUIG, SO'S 'E CAN GET BIG 'N MEAN FOR A ROIGHT PROPER FOIGHT, IS DA EL'MENT OF, um, PROPER FOIGHT ETIKET!
BIG MEK PANTGIT, 'E USED 'IS BIG SHOOTA AND ROKKIT COMBO TO SHOW ORKS CAN KRUMP ANYTHING, INCLUDING DAT RIVER, IS DA EL'MENT OF DAKKA!"
>"'N BLOODNUTZ, DA FASTEST TRUKK BOY ON DIS ROK! 'E RAMMED DAT SPIKEY 'UMIE TRUKK SO 'ARD IT RIGHT PROPER KILLED DER KRUIZER, IS DA EL'MENT OF RED!"

"DAT'S ONLY FIVE EL'MENTZ, YA GIT! YA MISSIN' DER SE... SE... ANUVER ONE!"

"WEZ 'AD IT DIS 'OLE TIME! WIV DA FIVE OV DES BOYZ, DA LAST EL'MENT IS REVEAL'D! DA EL'MENT"

>"OF DA WAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHH!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 15:50:03 No.29040204 Report

Quoted By:

>>29040165
What have you done!?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 15:55:44 No.29040226 Report

Quoted By:

>>29039896
End???? More??? Where is the rest of it?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 16:07:04 No.29040270 Report

Quoted By: >>29040284

>>29001111
the power of quads compels me
>Be green man in horse land.
>There's a fucking dog on your lawn yapping and running in circles.
>It's been out there for two fucking hours yapping like a shit.
>Interrupting your cave-dwelling shenanigans
>fapping
>staring out from a dark room between the window blinds at passing ponies.
>Finally you decide to go outside
"fuck off doggo"
>it barks directly at you
>It seems to be trying to tell you something
>You follow it to the forest
>A yellow pony leaps out of a bush and bites you
>"R-rawwr. Sorry."
"You fucking bit me you retarded horse!"
>turn into a tree
>She puts you in her living room and covers in you ornaments
>Merry Christmas
>Twilight comes over to visit
>Ask her to change you back
>She says it would be irresponsible to use her magic in such a reckless manner
>Fall on her
good end

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 16:09:48 No.29040284 Report

Quoted By:

>>29040270
weird also Happy Christmas.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1474462064103.gif, 1MiB, 1296x976

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 16:47:06 No.29040383 Report

Quoted By: >>29040573 >>29041424

>>29039167
That it?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 17:27:44 No.29040573 Report

Quoted By:

>>29040383
>Loading

Lord Weiner

Lord Weiner Sun 11 Dec 2016 17:30:11 No.29040585 Report

Quoted By:

>Ponies are for cuddling and sexual, not for abuse and fedoras.
>When petting a pony for the first time, use your fingers to scratch ears.
>If the pony is royal you should slightly bow.
>Under no circumstances should you ever reach behind the tail without invitation..
>With a little help you and the pony will become best friends forever!

Ponies are for rape and more rape, not for unrape and not rapey things.
When you rape a pony for the first time, use your money dick to rape it good.
If the pony is raped you should rape harder.
Under no circumstances should you ever not rape the tight horse pussy.
With a little rape you and the pony will fuck each other forever!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1216326__safe_solo_screencap_smi (...).png, 234KiB, 600x600

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 17:51:24 No.29040699 Report

Quoted By: >>29041369 >>29041397 >>29041930

may as well crosspost here too and then leave this bad green alone

>Twilight is loudly fucking you
>Your hands find purchase on her thicc ass as she madly thrusts her hips on top of you, again and again. She practically screams her pleasure out every time you hilt inside her.
>You hug her butt close to your hips, kissing the beautiful alicorn that you're mating with
>Her thighs smack against your hips, splashing warm fluids everywhere. You grunt with each slap.
>It's hard to believe how warm she is on the inside. Her pussy hugs and massages your cock, soft, hot, and oh, oh so tight. Each buck of her hips folds her silky wet walls against your love muscle, sending warm twitches of pleasure down your cock and into the small of your back
>You're so close. You're going to cum inside her again. Oh god, you love this.
>The bedroom door opens

>You are Glimmer
>"Ah!"
>"Ah!"
>"Ah!"
>"Ah!"
>"Ah~..."
>FUCK they're loud.
>You're going to put an end to this.
>One of your favorite spells that you've casted on most of the town involves a post-hypnotic suggestion causing them to do everything that you tell them to do, subconsciously. At first it was there as a precaution, but now it's a tool.
>You knock on the door and push it open
>You see Twilight's tongue sticking out, her pathetically small butt sitting on Anon's monkey cock.
>They both turn their attention to you, but they don't stop, Twilight mutters "Oh, I'm so close~..."
"Come on Anon, lose that hard-on."
>They both stop suddenly. Anon pulls Twilight off, breathing hard
>"OH COME ON!" roars the disappointed human
>Twilight turns to you with a mix of shock and rage
>You grin the biggest shit-eating grin you've had in ten years and run away to avoid the high-velocity books, butt plug, ball gag, and other various naughty items that all smack into the wall with enough force to bruise
>"I'm going to turn you into a toad, Starlight!"
>Not today, Twilight. There is much more /mischief/ to be had.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 19:39:05 No.29041272 Report

Quoted By:

>You are Anon
>turns out that magic is radioactive
>you die of radioactivity

The End

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 19:40:12 No.29041277 Report

Quoted By:

>>29040165
huh

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 19:57:58 No.29041369 Report

Quoted By:

>>29040699
Go on...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 20:01:37 No.29041397 Report

Quoted By:

>>29040699
Wouldn't it be better to say it gets shitty reception?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 20:05:23 No.29041424 Report

Quoted By: >>29041683

>>29040383
It's the end of the season, what do you expect?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO It's 2am and the fear is gone.png, 158KiB, 800x800

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 20:37:36 No.29041683 Report

Quoted By: >>29041753 >>29041775 >>29041905

>>29041424
>end of the season
>season 7 coming soon 2017
What? we have a new dayoff season?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO sitting_grin_hug_happy_older.png, 2MiB, 1824x1977

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 20:40:06 No.29041705 Report

Quoted By: >>29041803

No green yet? That's a shame. Want me to do something about it? My waifu deserves only the best greens.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Reluctantly crouched at the star (...).png, 415KiB, 1007x2023

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 20:47:00 No.29041753 Report

Quoted By:

>>29041683

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 20:50:20 No.29041775 Report

Quoted By:

>>29041683
WHERE!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 20:54:37 No.29041803 Report

Quoted By: >>29041853

>>29041705
I like this.

I like this a lot. Where the fuck is the interest? Does no one want it because there's no sex?

Wise Trash

Wise Trash Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:00:04 No.29041853 Report

Quoted By: >>29041907

>>29041803
>no sex
Post Green Sex or GTFO

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:07:16 No.29041903 Report

Quoted By:

Lewd green is almost literally self-gratification. If you don't get hard writing it, why are you even bothering?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:07:29 No.29041905 Report

Quoted By:

>>29041683
You can't rewrite episodes that haven't aired silly.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:07:50 No.29041907 Report

Quoted By: >>29041918

>>29041853
>sex
There.

Wise Trash

Wise Trash Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:09:24 No.29041918 Report

Quoted By:

>>29041907
Clever Boy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:10:47 No.29041930 Report

Quoted By: >>29041941

>>29040699
>>Twilight is loudly fucking you
Isn't it the other way around?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:12:10 No.29041941 Report

Quoted By: >>29041950

>>29041930
What? you don't like Twilight say "Ah ah ah" or you like her saying "Oh baby fuck me more"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:13:17 No.29041950 Report

Quoted By: >>29041962 >>29041964 >>29041975

>>29041941
"Twilight is fucking you" doesn't make sense since she's the one being penetrated. That sentence implies that she's penetrating you, and last time I checked, Twilight doesn't have a cock.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1450299480317.png, 231KiB, 730x552

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:14:48 No.29041962 Report

Quoted By:

>>29041950

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:15:13 No.29041964 Report

Quoted By:

>>29041950
>TFW DIDN'T NOT CHECK GRAMMAR AND ERROR
Thank you Young Anon. I will gonna kill myself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:16:54 No.29041975 Report

Quoted By: >>29042025

>>29041950
>loudly
you can fuck loudly?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:23:31 No.29042025 Report

Quoted By: >>29042104

>>29041975
As someone who has tried to sleep in cheap motel rooms while the people in the adjacent room were fucking loudly, brother, you have no idea.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:32:13 No.29042104 Report

Quoted By: >>29042111 >>29042305 >>29042437

>>29042025
Like when my uncle used to babysit me.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO haha.gif, 341KiB, 300x169

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:33:27 No.29042111 Report

Quoted By:

>>29042104

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:38:55 No.29042171 Report

Quoted By: >>29042180 >>29042758 >>29043315

>>29008545
>>29009003
>"Hey kid, wanna service shuttle?"
"Huh?"
>"You know how you keep saying you wont go up to the clouds."
"Because I'd fall to my death."
>"Right, right, you've only told me a gazillion times. Well, I have just the solution."
"Oh no."
>"Oh yes. With some tools and a little Dashenuity I bring you the Dashinator's Chariot. With this bad boy I can fly you into the sky and without any fear of hitting the ground at terminal velocity "
"It doesn't look very safe."
>"Of course it's safe. Hop on in, I'll give you a test run."
"But there's no back."
>"A back panel would create drag. There's a rail to hold on to. Now get in the cart."
"I think not."
>"Tail feathers. What is it Pinkie said to do in this situation?"
>"Offer them candy, silly."
>"Yeah, that's it. Thanks Pinkie."
>"No problemo."
>"Anon, if you get in I'll give you some candy."
"Hmmmm. Potentially life threatening sky ride or no candy. Tough call."
>"Candy is obviously the most important."
"You're right. I'm going to go visit Bonbon. She said I could come over to try her sweats whenever I want. Maybe next time Rainbow."
>"Why do I keep getting box blocked by all these other mares?"

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Cheer.png, 689KiB, 764x764

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 21:40:49 No.29042180 Report

Quoted By:

>>29042171
YES! YES!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 22:00:04 No.29042305 Report

Quoted By:

>>29042104
Kek!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 22:17:38 No.29042437 Report

Quoted By:

>>29042104
>uncle used to babysit me.
Damm your uncle have some weird muscle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 23:04:06 No.29042758 Report

Quoted By: >>29042843 >>29043459

>>29042171
>Bonbon said I could try her sweats

Is pretending to be a human while a "pony" licks her sweat Bonbon's fetish?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 23:14:32 No.29042843 Report

Quoted By:

>>29042758
That's going to be one very confused and disappointed Anon

Lord Weiner

Lord Weiner Sun 11 Dec 2016 23:43:10 No.29043063 Report

Quoted By: >>29043141 >>29043473

No one's even considered that the last 3 anons could be women?

No?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 11 Dec 2016 23:52:02 No.29043141 Report

Quoted By:

>>29043063
I'll make you into my woman.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 00:14:27 No.29043315 Report

Quoted By: >>29043373

>>29042171
I miss /ss/

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 00:21:48 No.29043373 Report

Quoted By:

>>29043315
Shhhh... just go back to past.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 00:33:53 No.29043459 Report

Quoted By:

>>29042758
>Bonbon said I could try her sweats

I don't think a human could wear a poni's sweatpance.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO no_grills.jpg, 53KiB, 341x352

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 00:35:26 No.29043473 Report

Quoted By:

>>29043063
>calls himself "Lord Weiner"
>doesn't know there are no grills on the Internet
wew lad

Handsome Jew

Handsome Jew Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:12:41 No.29043722 Report

Quoted By: >>29043807 >>29043840

>8 bumps left and I'm taking one
New bread necessary, this one is stale.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:24:05 No.29043807 Report

Quoted By: >>29043829

>>29043722
relax my bignosed newfriend

Handsome Jew

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO rd_chillax.jpg, 120KiB, 818x1035

Handsome Jew Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:26:32 No.29043829 Report

Quoted By: >>29043840 >>29043866

>>29043807
Nah dude. Thread needs green. And nobody gonna post green now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:27:53 No.29043840 Report

Quoted By: >>29043849

>>29043722
Eat the last bite and go to 500.
>>29043829
>green

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO delet.png, 367KiB, 810x594

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:28:41 No.29043849 Report

Quoted By:

>>29043840
>>green
delet

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:30:55 No.29043866 Report

Quoted By: >>29043891

>>29043829
>"Done?"
>"I wrote the word 'Green'."
>"Well, that's somethi—"
>You pause as you take a look at her paper
>IT'S FUCKING BLANK
>"WHY WOULD YOU LIE ABOUT WRITING THE WORD 'Green'?! JUST FUCKING WRITE 'Green' ON THE PAGE! TWILIGHT!"

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN

Silver_Smoulder !!qyrpl8I6nFN Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:34:05 No.29043891 Report

Quoted By: >>29043967 >>29044858

>>29043866

>Be Anonymous in Equestria
>Be green
>Be obsessed with it
>Twilight Sparkle asks you why you like green
>You point to your green mask
>She still doesn't understand.
>You explain the concept of purple drank and then how it ties to her purple fur
>She understands now
>The two of you take over Equestria
> You color one half green and the other half is purple.
>You become the new Diarchs
>Then you fuck a lot
>And you make adorable purple babbies
>Because Green Isn't Your Color

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:36:20 No.29043914 Report

Quoted By:

7 years ago when I watched MLP G1 and I was twelve, browsing newgrounds or google or something... one year later i would discover all the sexy ponies on Rule34.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:41:28 No.29043967 Report

Quoted By: >>29044007

>>29043891
>>Then you fuck a lot
I like that part

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:46:06 No.29044007 Report

Quoted By: >>29044026

>>29043967
Y-you too.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1481505884543[1].jpg, 115KiB, 882x849

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:48:38 No.29044026 Report

Quoted By: >>29044051 >>29044072

>>29044007
Even a quickie would do. Just hide behind a tree and suck her winking clit until she cums in your mouth. Grab her flanks tight while she raises a leg, trying to hug your head with her thigh.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:51:54 No.29044051 Report

Quoted By:

>>29044026
Uhm.... how about th-
>4 AM
Goodnight

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO sweating.jpg, 61KiB, 540x511

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:54:22 No.29044072 Report

Quoted By:

>>29044026
I really don't like that I can't tell if a post like this is ironic any more

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKER.png, 119KiB, 324x285

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 01:58:56 No.29044103 Report

Quoted By:

>>29044099
new throd naggers

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 02:16:27 No.29044213 Report

Quoted By:

Sup bangout
So we doin this secret santa shit or what

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 02:17:41 No.29044221 Report

Quoted By:

>>28995976
Tripfags in Equestria

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO fam.png, 42KiB, 195x238

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 02:57:30 No.29044474 Report

Quoted By: >>29044672

Oh hey, been a while since I've been around for /hangout/

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 03:23:05 No.29044672 Report

Quoted By:

>>29044474
>And it will be a while longer.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 03:45:52 No.29044858 Report

Quoted By:

>>29043891
Thanks, doc

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1430967182455.png, 84KiB, 1481x1386

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 03:54:09 No.29044918 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1433438076506.png, 697KiB, 900x1150

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 04:12:27 No.29045030 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1429054076485.png, 941KiB, 1280x1182

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 04:34:38 No.29045173 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO lub.png, 288KiB, 899x1194

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 04:36:54 No.29045189 Report

Quoted By:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1474360956184.png, 113KiB, 900x623

Anonymous Mon 12 Dec 2016 05:01:49 No.29045353 Report

Quoted By:

Subject

Name

E-mail

Password

Capcode	All Only User Posts Only Verified Posts Only Moderator Posts Only Manager Posts Only Admin Posts Only Developer Posts Only Founder Posts
Show Posts	All Only With Images Only Without Images Only Spoiler Images Only Non-Spoiler Images
Deleted Posts	All Only Deleted Posts Only Non-Deleted Posts
Ghost Posts	All Only Ghost Posts Only Non-Ghost Posts
Post Type	All Only Sticky Threads Only Opening Posts Only Reply Posts
Results	All Grouped By Threads
Order	Latest Posts First Oldest Posts First

On these archives

On these boards

Your latest searches

Anonymous in Equestria Thread #1110 We need to stop having to make these at 6am edition.