>>34823451As
>>34823446 said, intrusive thoughts generally is where I call it, though last update (Doc test POV) I kinda overdid things. As Engie said, it's a tool that is best used sparingly, else loses its edge. I've been thinking about how to do thoughts, and considering some combination of parens or some other thingy. While I was reading through, clicking them vs what they revealed didn't strike me as necessary/worth the lost impact. Most of them would've been fine as green.
My idea with spoilers is that having to click them should be worth the impact of the line they conceal. So, intrusive thoughts that come out of nowhere with some relevance to the scene/character that evoke some emotion in the reader. With me, that evocation tends to be emotion-bait, a realization of something sad or nostalgic, or a memory of some past conflict or failure. I'm still learning where to draw the line myself, though, so make of it what you will!
More on topic, I loved this update! The boss seems to be a bit stereotyped, but honestly that fits with the more lighthearted tone of this green. It's cute sexist horseland, and this is a cute sexist horse.
Anonpone as a unicorn is something that's worth exploring, because I can only guess at the mischief he's gotten up to with telekinesis! Very good worldbuilding, you kept it nice and personal which can sometimes be difficult when you want to show the reader everything about your interpretation of RGRE. Great job, looking forward to more!
>>34823261Ooooh yes, more! Snow Sledge came off as having some amount of flirtiness/past relationship with Anon, and her interest in his world/country is especially setting off my "oh this is a character is history" bells.
I distinctly recall someone pointing out that Anon's foals were going to be marely mares beyond compares, and I'm SUPER glad you decided to pick that ball up and run with it as a character conflict for Peri! Tapping that along with desire for a larger social circle is great.
