>>39640376>Still, as long as some people (and animals) depend on me directly or indirectlyI respect that. Deeply. The measure of a man is what he can do for others regardless of himself. Please take pride in yourself for even being who you are.
>Fundamentally everything would be better if I died as a kid, or ideally never existedMaybe. Life would move on regardless if you died or lived, but you wouldn't have had to suffer. I've thought similarly in the past and realized that this life may be my karmic retribution for sins in a past life I could not control. I just try to live a good enough life to make up for any past wrongs I may have done. Such as:
Still, as long as some people (and animals) depend on me directly or indirectly, I can as well distract myself for some fleeting feelings of happiness.
You are being a good person and I can respect that.
>I think if something weird happened and everyone depending on me died, I would just divide whatever I have among few friends (that would feel sad from me disappearing, but it wouldn't actually impact their lives in any objective way) and stop existingThey would remember you and then die. And then their memories would die with them. And then all trace of you would cease to exist forever. Take that with a sense of ease that everything you do wrong will not matter when in the presence of the grand scale of the infinite, or take it as a challenge to make your life matter to be remembered through the infinite passage of time, like Genghis Khan or George Washington. I've chosen the path of the legends and will toil for a memory in the people until I die, to prove I existed. Most folks are happy to be fleeting memories, destined to disappear with the lives of those who met them in the fleeting time within a single century.
We will all die. It's a promise life makes to us. It's how we respond to life that decides who we are.
