>>34404525Yeah I've kinda had Saturday tentatively penciled into my calendar as suicide day for the past several years, ever since I realized that this show connected me to a lot of "normal life stuff" like friends, family, pursuit of passion, all that...but I'll always be on the outside looking in IRL.
I'm in this really unfortunate situation of being outwardly....well, not a spaz/autist anyways. Irritable and with an indefensible sense of humor. But I can't stand actual relationships of any kind, and I already have everything else I want in life, so dying at 35 seems pretty reasonable to me. Like not even a sad thing, just, I'm done. Like you might be "done" having dinner or "done" attending a party, or "done" playing a game.
Pony's been the last thing in my life that I've managed to actually give a shit about for 9 years and that's saying something. Next to nothing else gets that kind of attention/treatment/respect from me, and a big part of that was the community.
A big part of me will be lost after this, and nothing's come close to replacing it in so long. Yeah, idk. Idk man.