The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
Which is why you have just powerslided and barrel-rolled an Abrams through a dimension rift, and are currently dealing with the fact that you have a very drunk and VERY STRONG red oni grinning at you from her position leaning on the hood of the remaining humvee. A red oni who has already demonstrated numerous times that she does not have a very good hold on her temper. Demonstrated it with your face.>What do?
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
In the interest of keeping proper progression (and because nothing much happened anyway), I will now post the few posts that I managed to get off.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
Well, running away from her at this point would probably only make things worse. She'd catch you eventually. All you would have done is bought her more time in which to come up with more creative ways to brutalize your skeletal structure.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
"Guuuuhck.....Zuli......air....." you choke out, and the red oni girl obligingly loosens her grip on her neck enough for you to talk the necessary Hobo Game.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
"I....I never thought (hic) I'd get to taste some!" Zuli's eyes sparkle (clouded with intoxication as they are) at the thought. Wait, magic booze is a thing? Assuming you survive this, you need to look into that STAT.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
I will refrain from reposting the vore posted by our resident slack-chopping man (who is known by various versions of HUEHUEHUE) in case he wants to repost it himself. Instead, I will begin immediately working on the 3 nat 20 post, because really, holy shit 3 nat 20s you lucky bastards.
Rolled 13 Damn, did the last thread 404? I don't think I can pull of the HOOOONK again.
Quoted By:
Rolled 8 >>22163098 You don't NEED to roll, SG. We've already established that holy HELL is it not a dream.
Not that I'm not going to roll anyways.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22163167 To add credibility to this man's statement, last thread, he made a two-part post, each containing half of HONK. First part was a 1. Second part was a 20.
BLACK SORCERY, I SAY.
Rolled 16 >>22163081 That last thread was but a dream, a booze induced passing phantasmagoria.
BR? GIBE MONI PLS
Had to leave after I posted my HUE. Did I miss anything?>can lickox
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22163178 welcome back.
i got bored waiting for you so i took the liberty of drawing Lincoln in his new suit...
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22163184 You get bonus points for using "phantasmagoria" in proper context.
>>22163329 Feel free to repost your HUE if you want. I can do it for you as well.
Rolled 5 >>22163415 It would probably be best if you reposted it yourself, as I don't have a copy of it on hand.
Rolling to contribute.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
>>22163492 INCOMING.
As you drink the liquor falling down between Zuli's sizable mounds, you notice something.
Your chin is itchy.
Apparantly, Zuli notices it too, as she pushes you off, suddenly a tad more sober.
"Liiiiincoooooln? Wha - hic - ish that on your fassse?"
Huh? You touch your chin. It's very rough and hairy. You look down
What the fuck?
Your beard is growing back! But quickly. Very quickly, as in, so quick you can literally see it grow quickly.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
Your beard, while still not taking a definitive shape, seems to be moving. Toward Zuli. Your facial hair forms tendrils, and starts to carress Zuli's face.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
Suddenly, something lashes out at the General, enveloping him!
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Alas, this glorious moment of improvised body shots does not last, as you are abruptly hauled away and find yourself face to face with a seething General Williams.
Faceless Raider
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22163783 So far, this is the only drawing of Zuli. Besides the fact that she has short hair and her undershirt is ruffly like that one guy from Pheonix Wright who's name I am blanking on, that's pretty much spot on.
......Besides the fact that any picture of her would have the frame half composed of her fist heading at your face.
Rolled 18 >>22163616 We should inform the general that we do not bat for the other team. Maybe he should try one of the Not-Bruces.
Rolled 1 >>22164030 That is a horrible idea. Let's do it!
Rolled 11 >>22164084 ...we get eaten by the General? Did we finally break him and drive him to cannibalism?
Anonymous
>>22164092 Or Zuli eats us to keep us safe.
Quoted By:
Rolled 16 >>22164092 On of the Quasi-Bruces gets a little to friendly?
Quoted By:
Rolled 8 >>22164030 I say we tell Zuli the general is trying to steal her magic booze.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22164098 the hobo did drink the other bottle of her now-favorite booze.
if she eats him, it's like she drank both bottles!
Quoted By:
Rolled 10 >>22163828 Miles Edgeworth is the name you are looking for.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
>>22164084 >>22164084 .......Now I gotta write even more posts.
But they're ones, so I am reassured. This is how HoboQuest usually goes.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
"LET GO!"
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
".....wait.....is that the alcohol you were given by Lincoln right before you---mmmgggmmgngphhh!?!?!?" Illiana shriek of surprise is muffled as Zuli crams the end of the bottle into her mouth, pouring some of the liquid down the surprised foxgirl's throat. Illiana is so surprised that she accidentally gulps down some of the psychotically strong liquor before Zuli withdraws the bottle, leaving her to cough at the kick of the booze.
Rolled 7 >>22164968 This can only end well, or in fire. Depending on how smooth a drunken hobo can be.
Rolled 20 >>22165005 Fire. Definitely fire.
>nlyISO FLAMING See? Even Captcha agrees.
Rolled 20 >>22164968 They're not going to be drunk, they're going to be vomiting everywhere. That stuff is not for lightweight girls unused to alcohol.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22165022 Well then. The dice have spoken
Quoted By:
Rolled 18 >>22165005 ending in fire is ending well for lincoln
Quoted By:
Rolled 9 >>22165022 And the dice gods, by the looks of things. Hopefully it is the sexy kind of fire and not the kind of fire that ruins drunken monstergirl orgies.
Faceless Raider
>>22165022 >>22165032 so some kind of flaming vomit???
Hobo King, i am working on a Zuli punching Lincoln scene at your previous request. hopefully will be better than previous incarnations... though not certain
Rolled 11 >>22165022 >>22165032 ...monstergirls with flaming vomit?
Anonymous
>>22165083 >>22165078 The vomit is flammable, and sentient.
Quoted By:
Rolled 8 >>22165032 >they're going to be vomiting everywhere. They're monstergirls. For all we know, they vomit fire. Or something like this -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0Gx8hYi0hQ Anonymous
>>22165095 Son, we rolled a 20, not a 1. We'll probably find out that concentrated ethanol causes an alchemical reaction that causes them to regurgitate liquid gold or something.
It's liquid because it's on fire. Anonymous
>>22165126 Creating life from alcohol is something that I'd call a pretty big success.
Quoted By:
Rolled 9 >>22165166 We already did that once.
Anonymous
>>22165126 I think Lincoln would want nothing more than a fiery boozegirl, though minislime might get jealous.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22165126 magic 'golem-making' fire vomit?
>>22165188 GIVE MINISLIME A BOTTLE OF THE BOOZE!!!
drawing is finished. is still abysmal though...
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
Alright, I gotta get some sleep real quick, but with nothing on the schedule for tomorrow, I can immediately get back to work.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
In my absence, feel free to figure out how fucking a firegirl would work. Or a lavagirl, or whatever; there's a large amount of variation. You might need such information later.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22165504 two three concept ideas.
1 - not all fire is exothermic. it remains possible to have endothermic combustion reactions, so it would be probable that the 'firegirl' can alter her bodies temperature (possibly also altering its color due to different chemicals being burnt i.e. copper2+ burns with a green flame) lavagirl would work by having a molten core which keeps the outerlayer of her in a 'plasticene' state, similar to the earths mantle, though due to smaller size, the overall required heat would be lowered, by cooling parts of her body to form more solid attributes, there would be a layer of thermal insulation to protect the potential HONKer from a molten death. though the effect emotions would have on the firegirl or lavagirls ability to control these aspects of themselves is unknown.
2 - it's magic. ain't got to explain shit.
3 - WIZARD!!!
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22165504 three concept ideas.
1 - not all fire is exothermic. it remains possible to have endothermic combustion reactions, so it would be probable that the 'firegirl' can alter her bodies temperature (possibly also altering its color due to different chemicals being burnt i.e. copper2+ burns with a green flame) lavagirl would work by having a molten core which keeps the outerlayer of her in a 'plasticene' state, similar to the earths mantle, though due to smaller size, the overall required heat would be lowered, by cooling parts of her body to form more solid attributes, there would be a layer of thermal insulation to protect the potential HONKer from a molten death. though the effect emotions would have on the firegirl or lavagirls ability to control these aspects of themselves is unknown.
2 - it's magic. ain't got to explain shit.
3 - WIZARD!!!
Anonymous
>>22165504 I remember seeing a screencap relating to this. Something about beings on the Elemental Plane of Fire symbiotically setting fire to each other to sustain each other, and them attempting to burn the Material merely being a labor of love.
Alternatively, that one from the HFY threads that ends with "...because when it comes down to it, we will BUILD A MACHINE TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM."
Anyone have the caps I'm talking about?
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22165646 sorry. don't have either of the caps, but i remember the HFY one.
if memory serves, it was basically saying that race x was good at this, race y was good at that and then it got to Humanity is good a making war and love. after having a war with a race, it will then make love to said race. it then suggested at devices created that allowed them to make love to a race which breaths sulfuric acid, a race that excretes a deadly neuro-toxin, so on and so forth. that was quite a nice thread...
Anonymous
>>22165646 Have the HFY-ish cap.
Anonymous
we could wear a fire suit.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22166853 I would bind you to airship Everwrong style
Quoted By:
Rolled 9 bump to stay alive
Quoted By:
Rolled 4 >>22165504 It only stands to reason, if you're willing to take the plunge and drive your iron into her furnace, the least she could do is damp the flames a bit before hand, so as not to smelt your iron rod, leaving a dripping runnel in its place.
1. Invest in a popsicle manufacturer. 2. Insert frozen treat into furnace.
3. Repeat until desired temperature has been achieved.
4. Quintuple wrap your rod.
5. Use mentholated chap stick in place of lube.
6. Strike until your iron is too hot.
Quoted By:
Rolled 9 ... Odd. Testing my trip.
Rolled 9 >>22165504 It only stands to reason, if you're willing to take the plunge and drive your iron into her furnace, the least she could do is damp the flames a bit before hand, so as not to smelt your iron rod, leaving a dripping runnel in its place.
1. Invest in a popsicle manufacturer.
2. Insert frozen treat into furnace.
3. Repeat until desired temperature has been achieved.
4. Quintuple wrap your rod.
5. Use mentholated chap stick in place of lube.
6. Strike until your iron is too hot.
And if you accidentally a space after your trip password, it counts as a password character, thus changing the tripcode. Huh. Learn something new every day.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22165504 Something to do with them being able to control their own body temperature.
Rolled 3 >>22166853 well, it has been established that anyone could learn magic, soooo....
DRUNKEN-HOBO-MAGIC-SCIENCE!!!!
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22165777 This is oddly touching in it's own special way.
>>22166853 Mmmmmmmm, delicious firegirl.
>>22167736 METAPHORS, METAPHORS EVERYWHERE. Also, yes, I discovered that little "space" rule in an earlier thread. Mostly because of my damnable phone.
Anonymous
Rolled 11 >>22169249 Oh great king of Hobos, i must ask has my humble attempt at drawfaggotery appeased you?
also, is it be time for update soon?
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22169288 You have appeased me indeed. There shall be no need to feed the sharktopus tank today.
And yes, there will be an update soon. While I do have a couple things to get done today, it is nowhere near the level of insanity I was forced to deal with yesterday.
Anonymous
>>22169356 >sharktopus I think we know what the aquatic monstergirls should be.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22169388 ONE of the aquatic monstergirls.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22169485 ..........I am now thinking about a monstergirl branch of the U.S. Navy and THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER.
Quoted By:
Rolled 13 >>22169488 Every armed force shall have at least 1 division of monstergirl forces...
Anonymous
>>22169485 Are we still planning to include monstermen?
Because meeting an octosharkman would be awesome.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22169542 is that what the general wants?
he doesn't seem interested in monstergirls...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22169488 Maybe Sahuagin as Navy seals, and mermaids as actual aquatic forces.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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---10 MINUTES OF SHOUTING, FIGHTING, AND FORCE-DRINKING LATER---
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
You sigh, reluctantly leaving the shell-shocked General to stare haplessly. As hilarious as this is, you really should probably give them a hand. It's funny, but you're not cruel. Drinkers in over their heads should be assisted, not harassed. They might leave the fold, otherwise! And what a tragedy that would be.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
"On three, alright? One....two.....THREE!" You both heft the sickened foxgirls off the ground in one strong heave.>What do?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22169970 >[x] [stop, drop, and roll] Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22169970 [X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [Calmly lament the loss of a sweet coat]
[X] [Run to the kitchen for an oil fire extinguisher]
And we had just gotten that coat.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22169970 [imbibe liquor]
[apply liquor to fire]
[hug EVERYONE!!!]
[imbibe further liquor]
Anonymous
>>22169970 >[run to the extremely far away river and jump in] Anonymous
>>22170052 I feel that will end badly. I remember something about skin sloughing off once in the river.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22170072 Probably, but I want to see how much stuff we can set on fire on the way.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22170072 ahhhh, the quests first vore scene... i remember it like it was on suptg...
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22169970 here is a quick sketch of said flaming Lincoln
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22169970 [x] [stop, drop, and roll]
While screaming, naturally. Then drink to celebrate non-immolation.
Char Aznable - 百式 !!1ITh5AyWMqG
Quoted By:
Well... the fire should burn off the alcohol first...
Quoted By:
Rolled 4 >>22169970 [ ] [run to the extremely far away river and jump in]
Our suit is not being burned away, it is gaining character!
And besides, any suit worth it's money will survive more then a few light burns.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Thinking quickly, you immediate sprint down the ramps of the plaza, brushing furiously at the fiery vomit as the flames creep begin to lap at your actual clothes.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22172212 i warned you about the water bro. i warned you nothing quite beats chemical vore...
Rolled 5 >>22172212 Are you trying to tell me the river didn't ignite? I'm sorry HK, you've ruined my suspension of disbelief.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22172272 The Mississippi River near the gulf outlet does not burn. Does not evaporate, does not yield. It only devours.
I'm serious. I can't even tell you half of the stuff in that damn river.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
>>22172272 Also:
>Suspension of disbelief >chemical river vore >Dohohohohohohohohohoho Anonymous
>>22172294 It's also apparently a sentient dimensional travler as well. It remembers our death.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
>>22172310 Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows....?
Faceless Raider
>>22172310 no, we jumped into it during the first thread. still in same dimension.... GET A SAMPLE OF THE RIVER AND POUR IT ON THE TANK!!!!
Anonymous
>>22172328 >Logical explanation for a promised tankgirl How.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
>>22172347 This thread has a habit of warping logic and reality. Don't think about it too much, just indulge in the sweet insanity.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22172347 well, since over 50% of the river is un-tell-able, some part of that >50% could be the tank-humanising stuff....
TANKGIRL WAS ON THE TABLE!!!
ZAKU-GIRL!!! The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Taking a quick power nap, next part forthcoming when I'm done. I think you're gonna like it.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22173215 Power naps are the greatest. Let's type this next part.
DeadBrain
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
"HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!!!!" You howl, flailing your limbs in all directions as the fiery alcoholic vomit burns merrily away, the flames eating through their initial fuel source at a rapid pace. You drop like a brick to the ground, screaming profanities as you attempt to save your clothes from incineration by barrel-rolling along the ground like a drunken log. Unfortunately, not having any idea of how stop, drop, and roll actually works, you sort of just look like a flailing firecracker.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
"See? That wasn't so hard." You sigh in relief, thankful to have not become crispy-fried Lincoln. You notice, however, that Illiana is still staring at you in confusion. "What? I didn't get burned after all, did I?">What do?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22174680 [ ] [have minislime investigate it]
calling it now
it IS minislime, all grown up
Quoted By:
Rolled 14 >>22174680 >[x] [imbibe liquor] >[x] [poke it] >[x] [imbibe liquor] >[x] [have minislime investigate it] >[x] [imbibe liquor] >[x] [attempt to imbibe it] In that order, of course.
Rolled 20 >>22174680 >[imbibe liquor] >[attempt to imbibe it]
Quoted By:
Rolled 10 >>22174680 [duh]
[Have minislime investigate it]
Possibly [att...
>>22174727 or this.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22174680 [X] [attempt to imbibe it]
[X] [imbibe liquor]
[X] [attempt to imbibe it with liquor]
I am not nearly drunk enough to deal with this.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22174680 [x] [have minislime investigate it]
Minislime's big sister?
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
You stare at the puddle. It stares back.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
And then, minislime raises her arm, placing it on the booze slime's shoulder. She moves forward....
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
And then, minislime raises her arm, placing it on the booze slime's shoulder. She moves forward....
Rolled 20 >>22176311 >>22176328 Niiiiiiiice.
Quoted By:
Rolled 6 >>22176328 We have created life! Again!
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22176354 I hope it was worth the wait. You guys gave me the idea, so I took the time to incorporate it in.
......fuck explanations, though. Not like Lincoln would listen to them anyway.
Also, this is literally the best time you could have rolled a 20, you lucky fuck.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22176398 It was indeed worth the wait. Also, I aim to please.
Rolled 6 >>22176398 We've reached the elemental plane of booze?
Rolled 9 >>22176413 If you think about it lincoln could probably make an elemental plane of booze. I mean, hes already birthed two "booze elementals" and they could be the first of many.
I'm of the mind that Lincoln is a primordial of booze (or on his way to becoming one) and that his surroundings overlap with his elemental plane causing physics to become drunk.
Rolled 17 >>22176621 Lincon IS the elemental plane of booze.
Or earth is. That would actually make sense.
Anonymous
we should totally troll Aiya/Cassandra whoever vomited on us, when they wake up, that she have a baby slime now and she is the mom and we are the dad.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22178276 It was Cassandra, and she would probably just faint again after seeing that 'our baby' is on fire.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
---AN UNDETERMINED AMOUNT OF HOURS LATER--->What do? >BAHAHAHA NO PROMPTS FOR THIS ONE >FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELVES, /tg/
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22178401 "I am completely drunk, I have no idea where I am, and I have a beautiful lady on top of me. I feel like this is the best night of my life. All it needs is an explosion."
Quoted By:
Rolled 10 >>22178401 Check for our clothes. I'm hoping we're still wearing them and we didn't miss the best bit already.
Tell Moira that this evening is shaping up to be a great end to a great few days.
Quoted By:
Rolled 13 >>22178401 Check our beard length to estimate how much time has passed.
Quoted By:
Rolled 15 >>22178401 we need to check our surroundings where are we why are we tied to the cot and why are we so lucky to have a sexy batgirl straddling us.
Quoted By:
Rolled 7 >>22178401 "most excellent, and getting better"
[inventory check]
"might i say how very beautiful you are looking this fine evening..."
[thrust against her]
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Well, in the absence of any other responses, I guess I'll go ahead and write the next part.
Quoted By:
Rolled 4 >>22179583 just as planned...
Mwahahahahaha
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22178401 Look for Zuli and pull her into the cuddle as well if at all possible.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
This......this is too much to take in at once. You're tied to a cot. It's dark outside. THERE IS A DRUNKEN SEXY BATGIRL IN A LOOSE POSTAL UNIFORM STRADDLING YOU. So you just let your mouth do its thing.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Quoted By:
This......this is too much to take in at once. You're tied to a cot. It's dark outside. THERE IS A DRUNKEN SEXY BATGIRL IN A LOOSE POSTAL UNIFORM STRADDLING YOU. So you just let your mouth do its thing.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Her smile grows slightly evil as she half-lids her eyes, slowly gyrating her hips against your now painfully-hard crotch. "But maybe.....there'sh a way....I can do both....">What should you say?
Anonymous
>>22180248 [ ] [imbibe liquor]
[ ] [What's that you say?]
[ ] [We can't imbibe liquor right now?]
[ ] [FUCK THAT SHIT]
[ ] [WE ARE THE HOBO]
[ ] [IMBIBE THE FUCKING LIQUOR]
Siiiiiiip.
Quoted By:
Rolled 12 >>22180248 "MOIRA!!! LET US MAKE SWEET HOBO LOVING!!! but, we need booze... LOTS of booze..."
Anonymous
>>22180248 >Let's dance, baby >Imbibe liquor >"You know, you didn't really get a full meal back there. How about topping yourself off?" >Batgirlgusta.jpg Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22180276 >>22180361 I think these two sum it up nicely.
Though I don't think either party would be averse to inviting Zuli and her drunken jubblies as well The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Alright, I'm getting near passing out again (DAMN YOU BOOZE, YOU DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD), so I'll leave it up to you guys; do you want me to power through the sex scene now, or do it after I wake up in like six hours? I can guarantee better quality if I wait, but I can't imagine you'd all want me to nod the fuck off now.
Quoted By:
Rolled 18 >>22180248 >[ ] [no, Moira, you're drunk] Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22180432 Coffee and power through!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22180432 Im hitting the hay myself, so I vote for waiting.
Rolled 20 >>22180432 Pour some coal on that fire, HK!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22180432 Eh, go ahead and take a nap if you need to that much. We can wait.
Just that it'll be impatient and full of swearing. Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22180483 looks like the dice gods have decided that you do not need sleep now! why do the drunken sex scene when you are more sober?
DRUNKEN-MAGIC-HOBO-SCIENCE-SEX-SCENE-TIME!!! The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22180483 WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ALL THE TWENTIES IN HERE!?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22180557 Dice gods apparently like hilarity, vore, awesome and/or sex. Preferably all at once. Be sure to satisfy them, Hobo King.
Anonymous
>>22180557 Moira sexiness is yes, that's what.
also, totally want a tail brushing scene with the foxgirls.
Rolled 19 >>22180557 If you keep rolling dice, you're bound to get a few 20s.
It's the lack of 1's that wierds me out.
Faceless Raider
Quoted By:
>>22180619 don't worry, the gods are probably saving it for an epic vore moment...
Anonymous
>>22180579 I still find it amusing that Moira is the one that ambushed us like this... and apparently she has a secret BDSM fetish.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22181304 To be fair Lincoln likely has a fetish for anything that gets monster girls wiggling around on his lap more so her kinks are pretty vanilla in comparison with things like burning places down or accidental chemical spills.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
I'm debating whether or not to actually post this. I think I got a bit carried away. No stupid flowery language or something like that, but I have no idea what an acceptable sex scene for /tg/ would look like. .....I suppose "raunchy" is a good way to describe what I wrote? Fuck, I dunno. What do you guys think? Not that I really give a shit if I post it and you hate it, I'll just do it differently next time.
Rolled 17 >>22181884 it's the end of the thread anyway.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22181894 Wait, really? It's only at 150 posts though.....do I need to archive this shit quick?
Anonymous
>>22181884 Mods are asleep, pretty much anything goes.
Also, it has been stated several times that they don't give a shit about the nws content of text on worksafe board, it's only images that cause trouble.
Anonymous
>>22181884 Just post it, HK. It's not like Moira will only get drunk and naughty once in her life and then it's over with. If it doesn't turn out well, then there will be more.
BECAUSE WE ARE LINCOLN, AND WE ARE AN AWESOME DRUNK HOBO KING OF BATGIRL NOOKIE.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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>>22181899 Eehhhh, whatever, archived it just in case.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22181903 >>22181905 Alright, alright. Just give me a few more minutes to put the finishing touches on it (heh, finishing) and I'll throw it up.
Rolled 19 >>22181928 fuck I am cracking an apocalypse beer for this shit.
Rolled 19 >>22181943 >>22181928 Same here. I eagerly await.
Anonymous
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>>22181928 >throw it up Now I can't help but imagine Hobo King's finishing touches including allowing the post to ferment alongside a cocktail of alcohols in his stomach.
Faceless Raider
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>>22181943 >>22181962 i will enjoy a bottle of Curiosity Cola, myself...
Anonymous
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>>22176748 At this point I think we're actually playing Unknown Armies and Lincoln is a powerful dipsomancer.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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Oh, you are NOT passing up this opportunity. There's just one thing you have to take care of first....
Anonymous
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>>22182080 THAT AIN'T ALL THAT'S MASSIVE RIGHT NOW.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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Moira's mouth crashes down on yours, and it only takes you a few moments to understand why her makeouts with Zuli had such an intoxicating effect on the red oni. Her tongue darts against yours like lightning, teasing and caressing as you match her movements with your own. You nibble on her bottom lip, and she lets out a small whimper before pulling her mouth away to gasp, panting as she stares at you with a hungry expression.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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"I'm jusht taking my time, ish all...." She pouts slightly, before her eyes light up when the belt buckle finally yields to her efforts. She does away with the button and zipper quite easily, and then tucking her claws into the waistband, she works your pants and boxers off in one go, letting your straining erection finally pop free.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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"Oh? And what kind of---GUUH!" You suck in a sharp breath as she lowers her head down, tongue extended to give a long lick along your length. Swirling her tongue around the head, she carefully takes you into her mouth, minding her extremely sharp fangs (a fact which you are incredibly thankful for.) She looks a little lost at first, and it's apparent that she's probably only aware of blowjobs through hearsay. But as she begins to slowly bob her head up and down, you quickly decide that doesn't mean a damn.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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"Oh fuck, Moira, I'm----" You don't manage to finish before the proverbial cork pops, letting loose a spray of bubbling liquid into her mouth.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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Moira stares at your cock for a few moments, before a smile crawls up her face. "Well then....." She starts, impishness creeping back into her voice. "Maybe you can help me.....with an itch I really need shcratched....?" She crawls back forward, straddling your crotch again as she hikes up her skirt.....
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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"Moira? You can stop if it hurts too much. Don't push yourself." You urge her, a note of alarm evident on your voice. Yes, you want to screw this girl sideways, but it's not going to be enjoyable if one of you is clearly suffering.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
"Heeheehee......enjoying yourshelf, Lincoln?" Zuli giggles as she speeds up her pace, eliciting a grunt from you as she slams herself down on you even harder. Dammit, she's getting carried away.....and that's no fun at all; it'll end way too quickly. You need something to turn the tables, but what....?
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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That seems to be all the permission she needs, lunging at your neck like a dying man lost in the desert. Her fangs pierce your neck, eliciting another wince from you, though it's not as bad as the first time. Though it helps that as she begins to suck and lap at your fresh puncture wounds, she begins thrusting her hips up and down with a renewed sense of urgency, riding you for all she's worth. You are forced to grit your teeth as the batgirl's wet slickness slides up and down your rod, rubbing in all the right ways.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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But Moira withdraws her fangs, bringing her mouth to your ear and whispers the word that seals your fate.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
"Erm.....so, are you gonna untie me now? Or...y'know....take my dick out of you....? 'Cause...."
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
............[roll 1d20 for post-sex slumbertime]
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Rolled 5 >>22182192 incoming Zuli thrashings in the morning, she totally heard it all.
Rolled 4 >>22182198 rolling for it. also...
>>22182172 >"Heeheehee......enjoying yourshelf, Lincoln?" Zuli giggles i thought we were doing Moira? @_@
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22182218 GODDAMNED TYPOS
Considering reposting the whole thing to get it right.
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Rolled 12 >>22182228 what was stopping zuli from being there in the first place?
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
I'm totally going to give you a threeway right away, especially with Zuli having the personality she does.
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Rolled 17 Obviously, while it'll take us another hour to fall asleep, it'll only take Zuli half to come upon the two of us.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
So, can I get some actual feedback? Too much? Or do you guys not mind me doing all the sex scenes like this? I AM writing this for you guys, after all. No point in typing all of that if you don't like it.
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Rolled 6 >>22182244 two words my good king.
After. Party.
there will be plenty of beatings, vore-ings and HUEHUEHUE-ings when she regains sobriety..
Anonymous
>>22182271 HK, I think I speak for all of us when I say that no, no that was not at all too much. I quite enjoyed that.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22182279 HUZZAH! I AM FREE TO WRITE MORE MONSTERGIRL SMUT FOR ALL!
Rolled 9 >>22182282 IF BY "FREE" YOU MEAN "ETERNALLY BOUND", THEN YES, YES YOU ARE.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Rolled 5 >>22182271 On to serious business;
very descriptive of the events unfolding. you effectively conveyed the thoughts and emotions of the two characters, using linguistic artistry to paint the scene and allowed just enough room for personal interpretation.
aside from that one Easter-egg,
Moira out of 10...
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22182301 Still annoyed by that typo, especially since I know why it happened. I was trying to think ahead to Zuli's reaction. See what planning gets you? Nothing good.
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Rolled 3 >>22182271 10/10 would read again.
Best smut I've read in ages and I had given up on the written stuff.
Faceless Raider
>>22182315 remember, perfection makes anything boring. it's the errors and glitches that really intrigue people.
still, if you want to change it, change it. the choice is yours. but remember, it is only one word. i mean yesterday we had a huge argument over a single event that had happened several threads ago in SLQ, just because the OP accidentally forgot to put in one sentence. i swear the rage generated in that argument could have fed the character for days...
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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>>22182362 Eh, fuck it then. You put it poetically enough to convince me.
Also, the other tripfags are going to rage so hard when they find out they missed this. I positively titter at the thought.
Heh. Titter.
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Rolled 6 >>22182271 Cracking my last end of the world beer in honor of this post. Well worth it.
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Rolled 11 >>22182198 rollan
Rolled 4 >>22182198 Rollan for cute batgirl sleep talking.
>>22182271 Enjoyable. Possibly too much for a single scene, you might have wanted to save some things for a later one, but it was very very fun to read.
If you take my meaning.
DeadBrain
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Wow, Hoboking. I haven't really expected this would happen. Not that I'm against it. wouldn't fap to it
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22182487 It's funny how you think this is all I have up my sleeve. I ask for feedback to ascertain whether I need to reign myself in or not. If it's more of stuff like this you want, more of this stuff you get.
Rolled 16 >>22182537 More is good. Very good. I would like more.
But then, I'd also like to actually get more then three km's from the portal into Riftia, so I guess I'm a party-pooper.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22182555 KM's? Please explain.
Rolled 12 >>22182564 They're like miles, but 1.6 times better.
Faceless Raider
>>22182564 km's are like miles, but shorter and metric...
ALL HAIL THE SUPERIOR IMPERIAL MEASURING SYSTEM!!!
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22182570 >>22182571 Ahhhhh, you meant the unit of measurement.
Don't worry, you'll get there. Eventually. If you can keep from blowing everything up for long enough to make it to the next town.
Faceless Raider
>>22182574 only once we have satisfied all of the monstergirls
gotta catch-em-all
Rolled 7 >>22182583 But you _can't_ satisfy a succubus. It's just not possible.
DeadBrain
Faceless Raider
>>22182592 four words.
Magic.
Drunken.
Hobo.
Science.
EVERYTHING is possiable...
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
And now, I shall take my long-delayed sleep break. I shall continue when I awaken, as always. You know the drill.
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Rolled 6 >>22182599 >>22182606 I'll believe that when I see it.
>>22182612 I thought the main advantage of a tank girl was that it was self loading...
DeadBrain
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>>22182612 >load An (un)fortunate choice of words...
Rolled 15 I imagine the barrel runs the length of her back. I imagine the breech rests between her legs.
Faceless Raider
>>22182693 well, a tank girl would probably have built-in auto loaders, but what HK probably wants to know is how do we 'reload her magazine'...
well, firstly we would have to remove the armoured skirt to gain access to the 'access hatch'. from there we could begin the process of 'manually inserting' each 'round' into her 'magazine'...
Anonymous
>>22182818 oh man, all the perk names from WoTs crew skills are creating many a pun in my brain
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>>22183017 Why does it not surprise me that there are WoT players in this thread...
Anonymous
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I wonder where exactly everyone else was for this.
Anonymous
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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I RETURN, REFRESHED ANEW.
Anonymous
I hope we get back to the fantasy land soon. That castle has been standing for far too long.
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Rolled 8 >>22187815 The castle? I think you mean the kingdom.
We're going to seduce the castle, remember?
Oh.... *Standing*... I get it.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
As a side note, does anyone know a way to add tags to already-archived threads on sup/tg/? As the person who decided to be helpful and archive it accidentally put a space in a tag that makes it not show up along with the rest of threads.
Anonymous
>>22187932 I think you have to contact the admin for that, since you can't change it otherwise.
Rolled 2 >>22187932 you cannot. you'd have to email Lord Licorice, and get him to manually edit the database, which he hates doing. He changes hatearchived threads (occasionally) but i doubt he'd do a cosmetic change like this.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22187956 >>22187961 I see. I suppose I'll send him an e-mail just in case, but I guess it's two links to the previous threads from now on.
Rolled 7 >>22187974 Actually, I just checked, it's missing the 'collective game' tag, which is important. You might be able to get it done.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22187992 The e-mail has been sent, we shall see if he deems us worthy of the changes.
.....In the meantime, better get on the next post. Let's see how far we get before all the mysteriously vanished tripfags find out what they missed.
Anonymous
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>>22188138 They're probably off doing Christmas related things.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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Emprah dammit, I have failed hard these past few hours.
Anonymous
Faye was watching from a hole the whole timeshe was shlicking while it was happening, and that echo moans we ignored was her
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Anonymous
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>>22191303 great she will be more awkward around us.
and she will steal glances at our crotch at any given chance >>22187974 keep your fingers crossed he usually doesn't check his mails.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
---ANOTHER UNSPECIFIED AMOUNT OF TIME LATER--->What do?
Faceless Raider
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>>22195049 [fuck clothes, crab walk outside doing your best Zoidberg impression]
[imbibe liquor]
[crab walk inside doing your best Zoidberg impression]
[don Hobo Swag uniform, stride outside like you own the place]
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Rolled 19 >>22195049 >[ ] [fuck clothes, crab walk outside doing your best Zoidberg impression] > >[ ] [imbibe liquor] nothing can go wrong.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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I apologize for my long absence. My schedule with my family getting ready for Christmas is even more schitzy. That's why most of my posting has been happening late at night.
Anonymous
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>>22195049 [X] [don Hobo Swag uniform, stride outside like you own the place]
If anyone tries to stop us use our alcohol breath as a Flammenwerfer.
Anonymous
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>>22195049 >[ ] [don Hobo Swag uniform, stride outside like you own the place] >[ ] [imbibe liquor] My catfight sense is tingling!
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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Two privates stand outside one of the tents that are serving as temporary barracks, cleaning their M4s. The General is busy making some preparations for something or other. Apparently it has to do with making sure the deep insertion recon team doesn't come back after only a few hours this time. And boy, is he pissed about it. Best to just stick to routine and not ask questions when he's like this. If you need to know something, he'll definitely make sure everyone knows.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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A few moments later, you burst back out of the tent flap, clad in full Hobo Regalia. Striking another of your dramatic poses (this one looks like a combination between a ballerina pose and an extremely elaborate gang sign), you gesture to the two soldiers gaping at you in disbelief.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
---5 MINUTES LATER--->What do?
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>Furthermore, pick a military vehicle you want.
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Rolled 17 >>22197229 [x] [talk to Zuli]
[x] [talk to Not-Bruces and Bruce]
You'll never guess what Moira did. With me. In bed.
We've got some bragging to do.
Rolled 1 >>22197266 one of these, of course.
Rolled 6 >>22197266 A PACV please.
Got to be ready for any environment.
and hovercrafts are cool
Rolled 11 >>22197266 m61a5 if we can have anything (I DONT CARE IF IT DOES NOT EXIST YET ITS AWESOME), STRV 103 is we cant
Anonymous
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>>22197339 But is it full of eels?
Anonymous
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>>22197310 thing thing never gets old.
"A RIVER. WHAT DO WE DO?"
"IT'S OKAY SIR, I BROUGHT A BRIDGE!"
Rolled 17 >>22197352 also i say we take this resupply opportunity to snag us a Bitch (pic related, its the gun with the muzzle on the ground, cut down full auto FAL with 40mm grenade launcher attached, theres a good reason its called the bitch)
Rolled 19 >>22197402 Because it kicks like a mule so every time you fire you're screaming "son of a bitch"?
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Rolled 13 >>22197436 if you were screaming you wouldn't be able to hear yourself cause it has no flash hider or muzzle brake, so deafening they used it to distract the VC and hit them from in a flank in their ambushes
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>All but one post are about vehicle choices instead of the conversation choices >We have have our priorities straight, indeed
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Rolled 11 >>22197436 i'd like to think that if you did scream that out you would be kicked out of the SAS, they have standards to maintain, manly manly standards
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Rolled 12 >>22197486 well one of those vehicle posts was the other half of the conversation choice, but I was too quick.
Anonymous
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>>22197486 how are we supposed to impress if we don't have some sweet wheels to impress with?
I suppose we could steal Jimmy's wheelchair but it just doesn't have the same pizazz as a tank.
Secretary General
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>>22197229 [ ] [talk to Cassandra/Aiya]
[ ] [talk to Faye]
[ ] [talk to Fritz]
Anonymous
>>22197229 [X] [talk to Faye]
We should ask is she's alright. For the vehicle I propose the Supacat Jackal 2. It can handle some water, and it can seat several people.
Anonymous
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>>22197566 Trunk Monkey gunner seats are always nice
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
As I can tell this one is going to elicit a lot of discussion, I'll take this opportunity to have a sleep break.
Rolled 6 >>22197767 sooo double the amount we take? HOBO PROoF
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
>>22197792 NOTHING is Hobo Proof.
Anonymous
>>22197797 Our hobo cart seems to be.
Anonymous
>>22197870 Well yes, it's been around our boy for a long time. Once a certain amount of time has been spent in a hobo's presence most anything becomes nigh indestructible.
Anonymous
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>>22197901 A more accurate way to put it is that after a certain length of time in a hobos presence any given item will approach the maximum amount it can be destroyed, after it reaches 100% destruction the pieces are put back together in a new configuration until that to is destroyed.
This repeats until all the pieces have reached a quantum state where they are in fact all already destroyed and are merely staying together due to hobo stubbornness.
Anonymous
Concerning the vehicle that we get, do we want more firepower, or maneuverability? We already have the tank for firepower, and the Hummer is pretty fast.
Rolled 15 >>22198527 Clearly we need a utility vehicle. Like a bridge layer.
Rolled 18 >>22198613 as long as our bridgelayer can also have a ATGM launching arm like pic related add my vote to this
Rolled 1 >>22198910 alternative we could have, Merkava Mk.IV has good protection, mobility and firepower, also has seating in the back for a squad of 4
Rolled 4 >>22198919 welp, more tank vore
Anonymous
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>>22198922 Thanks for reminding me that I needed to write some tank-girl reload porn.
Rolled 14 >>22198613 Is there a bridge layer hovercraft by any chance?
because the bridge layer can only improve with the ability to move over all terrain.
[ ] [talk to Moira]
[ ] [talk to Zuli]
[ ] [imbibe liquor]
and [ ] [talk to Faye] because she's been hiding for a while right? so we need to check if everythings ok with her.
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Rolled 11 >>22197229 >[x] other Scream "I HAD SEX WITH A BATGIRL AND YOU ALL CAN GO EAT A DICK" like a maniac.
We need to let the people know.
Anonymous
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>>22197229 >[talk to Moira] And I can't believe no one has said an AC-130
Faceless Raider
>>22199041 i second this motion for actions.
in regards to the vehicle, do we not want a Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte with an extra compliment of weapons bolted on?
alternate choice is BTR-T, for the extra space we need to get our DMHS on...
Anonymous
I can't believe nobody's chosen [x] [talk to Fritz] yet, since he seems to be the one guy to high five and shit.
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Rolled 5 >>22199946 This
>captcha: and Woulock Uhh...Sure captcha, we can talk to Woulock too...
Anonymous
[x] [talk to Moira]
Anonymous
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>>22200981 The only painkiller she needs is alcohol.
Anonymous
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>>22200981 Their biology shouldn't be too different from a humans. After all they're monster [girls].
Anonymous
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>>22199898 I'm not a fan of russian APCs. They're basically uninhabitable on the inside, which it why infantry always just sits up top all the time.
The Bradley might be perfect:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyakI9GeYRs The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
I have not, in fact, fallen into a sleep coma. I am currently out visiting relatives. I'll see if I can get a post off from my phone, but it may be difficult.
Faceless Raider
>>22205657 there is no rush, we have yet to come to a concensus over what alternate vehicle we want... though COULD we have a Ratte?
Anonymous
>>22205687 What about chainsaw truck?
I know it's not actually a chainsaw, but fuck logic. Anonymous
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>>22205753 Put the fear of god in the Dryads?
Anonymous
>>22205753 that reminds me of that excavator that resembles the worlds largest circular saw, can we have one of those?
Faceless Raider
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
While I cannot give you any of the more fanciful stuff like the Ratte right now, I can confirm that there will be opportunities to get some of them at some point.
Faceless Raider
Anonymous
>>22205855 yes, that one, perfect for both digging quick defensive emplacements as well as hunting down those elusive tunneling monster girls.
Faceless Raider
>>22206066 only downside is that it takes two and a half years to assemble it...
Anonymous
>>22206091 Hobo logic, I bet it would take us 2 and a half drunks to build it.
>plans gencjoi I have no clue what this captia is planning but it must be good right?
Anonymous
>>22206486 We could probably just use it to build a base around the portal, but there's no way that thing is going anywhere else due to its massive size.
Anonymous
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>>22206603 so what you're saying is that if I want to drive around with a circular saw large enough to cut the world in half, I need to make it so large that terrain doesn't actually matter anymore?
Got it.
Faceless Raider
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>>22206603 as a note, it does move. slowly, but it does...
just imagine using it to siege a fortress. the defenders would practically shit themselves at that thing lumbering towards them...
Anonymous
So which of the vehicles are we going to bring?
Rolled 12 >>22209239 my votes for the Merkava, its a great tank, very survivable and mobile yet also has room in the back for transport or sexytiems
Rolled 13 >>22209428 and also, we can't fuck it up with an RPG
Anonymous
>>22209507 Of course you can!
It's a lot harder than with a HMMWV, but you can at least mobility kill it.
Rolled 20 >>22209615 hey man, don't give the hobo ideas
Anonymous
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>>22209239 I know fuckall about any of these, but my vote is either for the chainsaw truck or the portable bridge. I'm a sucker for style.
Anonymous
>>22209428 We HAVE a tank, we don't need another. We also have two armored trucks, for people and supplies. We shouldn't get another one, it'd be a waste. So my vote will remain with the bridge layer, because it has style, and who knows how good the roads will be where we're going?
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Rolled 17 >>22209725 >We HAVE a tank, we don't need another. >don't need another. What heresy is this, we can ALWAYS have more tank
Anonymous
>>22209656 Quit wasting our 20's on discussion.
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Rolled 2 >>22210529 Not that anon, but dice do not work that way, anon.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Fuck, what a day. Christmas Eve is always hectic, but still.
Some interesting choices in here. Lot of good ideas and such.
For that reason, I would like to put forward my own recommendation.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Semple_tank Anonymous
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>>22211658 A going away present by the Hobo community, headed by a Kiwi who somehow survived Australia and found his way to America only to become a hobo.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
You're free to reject my magnificent proposal, of course. I mean, not that any of your vehicles could match glorious power of the Bob Semple tank.
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Rolled 5 >>22211803 I'm still voting for the Bradley, since it's got that beautiful combination of retarded design with still being useable.
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Rolled 17 If we are going all out on picking a vehicle why not go all in and get Megatron.
Anonymous
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Looks like we're going to have to rely on the luck of the draw to see which vehicle we chose.
Anonymous
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>>22211803 Sorry, I'm still voting for Chainsaw Truck or portable bridge.
When we finally fuck the tankgirl, she should give birth to little tankette girls, though. The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
Shit. I've got the next post ready, but I'm reading the post count right, we're already past autosage. What to do.....
Faceless Raider
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>>22213144 new thread?
also new suggestion, Apache Helicopter Gunship.
Machine guns AND Missiles, it's more powerful than a young boys wish...
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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Righto, new thread it is, then.
The Hobo King !!x/NINN/adp7
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>>22213338 New thread, ho!
