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9000 years ago, when the Earth was void and without form, there was no Football, and no America. The ponies of the land wandered in darkness, for there were no Denver Broncos to guide them, and the King of Londonistan did reign with terror and oppression.
Then, John Elway burst forth with the magical light of football, and there was football in the land, and the ponies rejoiced. Rainbow Dash was inseminated with the brilliant light of football, and then did burst forth America, the land of Eternal Freedom. And then John Elway called forth the Denver Broncos from the darkness that was England, and they did board the ships of Londonistan and throw their gay-ass tea into the ocean so that there would be room for the new McDonalds they were building, and the ponies rejoiced, for there were Burgers.
And so it was that the King of Londonistan was cast into the void with Islam and the Oakland Raiders, and the Seattle Seahawks were sent there as well, and Football did reign supreme, and America was born, and became Freedom, which in turn became Football, and so it was that the ponies did have Football, and America, and Freedom, now and forever.