How long would this nigger last in the 40k universe?

One of my friends wants to bring me to play D&D with some of his college buddies. I'm acquainted with said buddies, and I know they're pretty socially inept (reddit memes irl type), though my friend is relatively normal.

I have never played D&D before, though I listened to a few podcasts (penny arcade sessions mostly) and it seems fun. I'm not (or at least, I think I'm not) averse to serious roleplay or just riffing on what's happening.

However, there's a weird middle ground in some games I watched on the internet that makes my balls retract into my body and I'm sure these guys I might end up playing with are going to fall into: "Rule of Cool" dingbats.

I already heard them talking about it once (in public, no less.) "So then my guy, like, threw a spear into the wall, and did a prince of persia vault off of it and nailed a pair of goblins with his throwing knives before he hit the ground, it was epic!"

This type of "epic" shit hurts me on a deep, spiritual level, and to make things worse it seems it's not uncommon. "Awesomeness" and comic-book inspired quips are more repulsive to me than the most straight-faced LARPing.

So what am I in for? I have a feeling me and my friend are going to end up taking the piss out of the other guys tipping their vorpal katanas when I'd really like to indulge in light roleplaying in a fantasy setting and generally have a laugh.

> What is Chapter Master?
A Space Marine Chapter management simulator with mechanics resembling Master of Orion II and with amounts of FUN not unlike Dwarf Fortress. Also aims to be part King of Dragon Pass in the future.

> Where do I download it?
http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Chapter_Master_%28game%29

ALSO READ THE EMPEROR DAMNED MANUAL AND FAQ OR GET PURGED BY THE =][=

>Where do I find the changelog?
This is the current changelog: http://pastebin.com/K6iCzdr8

>Special report:
+ + + ATTENTION EVERYONE + + +
Duke's attempts to find a replacement coder didn't go that well. It turns out that the reason he needed to hand it off in the first place was that he ran out of money and needed to actually support himself and not starve. Therefore, a new solution has been proposed:

https://www.patreon.com/vidya

The more money Duke gets, the more time he will be able to dedicate to the project.
+ + + ATTENTION EVERYONE + + +

Current version: 0.6545

Previous thread: >>39908904
Thought for the day: My armour is contempt.

THOU SHALL NOT SEND THE ENTIRE CHAPTER:
1) ON A CRUSADE
2) IN A SPACE HULK
3) IN A DORMANT NECRON TOMB

HONOUR THY SAVE FILES, THAT THY DAYS MAY BE LONG UPON THE GAME WHICH THE DUKE GIVETH THEE.

Make sure your save file doesn't say ERROR before you close the game. if it does, save it in the next available file.

Extra Challenge: Post screenshots as you play, lets see some gameplay.

OBLIGATORY LINKS: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Nzrd1k9qtyj05vwfHV2adh4udouxBCMjMTrxeRPZaWk/edit
Community FAQ: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WPTvDEb2FSSloaguw4j1JRPXgthcgZiJtPmv0ZYDdf0/edit?pli=1

Some notable things to look forward to in the coming updates: ability to go renegade with the inclusion of a tzeentchian-esque chaos lord and battle formations. For more details, refer to the previous thread link.

Anyone have a pdf?

You are given a small army of monstergirls to train and command:

10 Centaurs (fast cavalry, good with all types of weapons, good on flat plains, poor mobility in forests)
15 Lamias (fast foot soldier, grapple skill, good with lances and bows, no problem with terrain)
10 Harpies (flight, cannot carry 2 handed weapons)
5 Ogres (brute strength, can carry heavy armor at the cost of mobility, easily distracted with alcohol)
10 Werewolves (scout, feral, good teamwork, weak during the day)
1 Arachne (can weave web, cannot carry weapons, no problem with terrain and can climb walls)
2 Angels (healing type with good mobility, fickle and cannot be used for evil)
2 Succubi (seductress, can cast offensive magic, weak in combat)
2 Alraune/Dryads (support type, can control plant growth, weak to fire)
10 Cyclops (can craft weapons and armor, strong but not as strong as ogres)
1 Slime Girl (poor in combat, good in water, can replicate itself, weak to lightning and ice, immune to physical attacks)

Your mission is to conquer a small human kingdom. They have 100 Pikemen, 50 Knights, 50 Clerics and 5 Wizards. You have about a week to prepare and only a month to conquer.

What do?

Helpful Links and FAQ: http://pastebin.com/43MCdueZ

Community Communication:
[The Cabal] #QMC @ Rizon.net (For QMs)
[Hugbox] #ques/tg/enerals @ Rizon.net (For Players)
[QuestMaster Directory] https://twitter.com/Eisenstern/lists/quest-runner-directory (post your twitter link in Spooky/Lively to get added; accounts that spam quest-unrelated messages may get removed)
[Anonkun] http://anonkun.com/user/Kas (yell abuse at as necessary(not that he'll listen))
[QTG New Home] https://archive.moe/tg/ghost/

Tools:
[Fool X](Use with Greasemonkey/Tampermonkey)
--[Original Version] http://pastebin.com/W7W2VtrQ (fixed to work with archive.moe)
--[Spooky Variant v.27.4] https://github.com/Fiddlekins/SpookyX (embeds image links, expands replies inline, adds (You), etc.)
[4chan X] https://github.com/ccd0/4chan-x (Use with Greasemonkey/Tampermonkey)

Akun Fixes:
[CSS Restyling] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/css-adjustments-to-the-site-layout/i9nGN8yMn4KJ6ScLo (Current layout thread)
-- http://pastebin.com/eKAvdwgG (Layout Fix)
-- http://pastebin.com/jN4AXt6P (Chat fix)
[Akun Linker v7] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-convert-text-links-into-hyperlinks/D6ne9Qez4ZXE24iQN
[Akun TagChecker v3] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-html-tag-closer/jnZmuKMcek44eNyym
[Akun ReCap v5] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/re-capitalising-usernames-a-solution-kinda/PpX7ut4nbdjKLxLwr
[Akun AnonToggle v5] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-anontoggle/RQu32XEWraq5yoEye
[Akun FollowMap v2] http://pastebin.com/x1XfTpzs
[Akun Review Page Fix v2] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-reviews-page-fix/KCtWQSg7sgCdbKkxS
[Akun Live Images v2] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-liveimages/GuL7cKHuKamNzaqJa
(further information for these scripts contained in the top pastebin)

Alright lads and lasses. As some of you may know I'm going to be out of the house for a bit, vacation and all that, now that this Horseman nonsense has calmed down. Now I'm leaving the Cat in charge and should I...never return, well, she'll be your new Guildmaster. Now she has the pin, so if you feel that she's not fit for duty, feel free to try and steal it off her. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go pack.

Welcome to the Thieves Guild, just pick a name and join in. Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed. When this thread dies we'll continue on archive moe. For additional resources, visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild

Helpful Links and FAQ: http://pastebin.com/43MCdueZ

Community Communication:
[The Cabal] #QMC @ Rizon.net (For QMs)
[Hugbox] #ques/tg/enerals @ Rizon.net (For Players)
[QuestMaster Directory] https://twitter.com/Eisenstern/lists/quest-runner-directory (post your twitter link in Spooky/Lively to get added; accounts that spam quest-unrelated messages may get removed)
[Anonkun] http://anonkun.com/user/Kas (yell abuse at as necessary(not that he'll listen))
[QTG New Home] https://archive.moe/tg/ghost/

Tools:
[Fool X](Use with Greasemonkey/Tampermonkey)
--[Original Version] http://pastebin.com/W7W2VtrQ (fixed to work with archive.moe)
--[Spooky Variant v.27.4] https://github.com/Fiddlekins/SpookyX (embeds image links, expands replies inline, adds (You), etc.)
[4chan X] https://github.com/ccd0/4chan-x (Use with Greasemonkey/Tampermonkey)

Akun Fixes:
[CSS Restyling] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/css-adjustments-to-the-site-layout/i9nGN8yMn4KJ6ScLo (Current layout thread)
-- http://pastebin.com/eKAvdwgG (Layout Fix)
-- http://pastebin.com/jN4AXt6P (Chat fix)
[Akun Linker v7] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-convert-text-links-into-hyperlinks/D6ne9Qez4ZXE24iQN
[Akun TagChecker v3] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-html-tag-closer/jnZmuKMcek44eNyym
[Akun ReCap v5] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/re-capitalising-usernames-a-solution-kinda/PpX7ut4nbdjKLxLwr
[Akun AnonToggle v5] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-anontoggle/RQu32XEWraq5yoEye
[Akun FollowMap v2] http://pastebin.com/x1XfTpzs
[Akun Review Page Fix v2] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-reviews-page-fix/KCtWQSg7sgCdbKkxS
[Akun Live Images v2] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-liveimages/GuL7cKHuKamNzaqJa
(further information for these scripts contained in the top pastebin)

haven't seen one of these threads in a while

General Synopsis/Quick Introduction: As the subject line implies, this quest will be taking place within the Nasuverse

For those not as well-read into TYPE-MOON's works, please do not feel overwhelmed or threatened; I will do my best to ease as many of you in as possible

This particular installment of the quest will be continuing our latest trend of beginning with our main character, instead of with a prologue featuring his Great Grandfather, whose penis began this entire shitshow.

In a normal post you can expect me to provide four options with the fifth being a prompt for write-ins.

Thank you in advance for any consideration you may give this thread and please feel free to offer any criticism or feedback.