Rules:
1.) You will lead a squad of Battle Sisters fighting for the Imperium against a Rapeanid invasion. Enemy attacks are sexual. If you or a squadmate is brought to orgasm they will collapse on the ground until they can be revived.
2.) Anons will vote on what action they want to take. The action with the most votes wins.
3.) I will periodically ask people to roll for strength/dodging/attack etc. You must roll equal to or above the percentage I say. Specify what you are rolling for or it won’t get counted. (e.g. rolling strength, agility roll. etc.)
4.) In addition, if you roll 86-100 it counts as an Epic Win and you will get positive bonus effects. However, if you roll 1-15 you have screwed up and additional negative effects will be applied.
5.) All fetishes are good. The only thing that you won’t see is Scat/Guto. If you want to see a fetish of some kind e.g. tentacles, mind control, just let me know and I’ll see about making it a possible encounter, or writing it in as a gallery story if it proves popular enough.
6.) Happy Fapping!

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

'Sup /tg/ we are long over due for one of these so here we go.

Usual copy pasta to start.
>Wut is Britbongsteros?
It's a homebrew setting our DM (with some help from me) devised. We played a lot in it and I've been telling stories of our adventures for a little while now.

As some of you may know, last time we got to the end of Britbongsteros, then I made the mistake of reminding /tg/ that we started the tales of britbongsteros in about the middle of the group's third adventure. Therefore at the request of /tg/ I shall start at the very beginning.

If you are a newfriend, you literally don't need to know anything about anything or have read any of the previous threads, but there is a wiki curated by an awesome anon.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Britbongsteros

That includes some general details about the setting.

Before I being properly, it is important to be aware that each Britbongsteros adventure attempted to out-do the last one for scale and insanity, so these will be smaller in their scope, but no less fun I hope.

For those who have been following storytime since the beginning, I will take us up to where the first storytime began, that should (depending on how I tell it) result in 2 or 3 more storytimes in total.

Oh and in advance for the grumpy-anon who spergs about Opus the Penguin being used as the OP pic, We love you man, get some help .

The moons cycle in the sky, and the comet passes in between the three, blue light blazing against the light blue sky of dawn. You feel yourselves awake, as if for the first time, truly to the world. You are all huddled around your campfire, sunburnt, and hungry, and waiting for someone to take the first move. The ocean laps against the shore, and the island’s sands shift in wait, leaves and trees idle and waiting, nothing moving until you do.

What do you do?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome everyone, to the Keening Sea, a world of islands and wildernesses untamed.
Pick your race/ethnicity.
>Westman
Built around 6 feet tall and with pale skin and fair hair
>Eastmen
Slighter, thinner men from the east, tan and dark haired, native to the south east of the sea
>Burntmen
The ferocious savage men of the burning isle, ravenous cannibals with long, grasping arms and bodies built like apes.
>Daughtermen
Lithe and quick, very pale and hairless, men and women, they dwell in isolated coves and jungles, estranged from the world at large, long drifted away from other human populations.
>Whalers
A squat and strong race of men, covered in a thick layer of fat and black tattoos, brought to the sea on whale-ships to hunt.
>Keen Men
A race of pygmy men native to the islands of the keening sea, slender and quick, but vicious when neccesary.
>Mossen
The race of men that migrated into the isles after the Keen men, thickly built and muscled with coarse skin and a natural affinity with the sea.
>Reaving Men
The Reavers of the northern sea, borne on longships from their craggy homes. Supposedly the descendants of the ancient Gwin, Stone Giants, though this is widely dismissed by most.

First to the three votes wins!

I play Pathfinder a lot. I like it. But I hate the old D&D alignment system.

Anybody have any tricks or homebrew to get rid of that shit without fucking up the magic, and all the other shit that is alignment-dependent?

inb4 different game.

“In a golf cart with Harder and some corgis. Why?”

“What the fuck are you doing out there during a fucking air attack?”

You think about that for exactly two long moments before you give up trying to summarize the recent sequence of fatbuck-insane events.

“Because that's just how I roll, motherfucker,” you reply primly, and hang up. “Hang on, Harder – we're going to the field.”

He nods and braces his foot against the glovebox for stability as you floor the little cart once more. You have to swerve around a huge bomb crater near the base's housing units, but you reach the football field without further ado. Arizona is standing in the center of the field, looking calm as she coordinates the fire of the cruisers and destroyers; some of which have taken to the water and are sailing tight evasive circles as their AA guns fill the sky with tracers. Arizona herself is barely firing at all – her early-war 5-inchers can't elevate high enough for AA work. A quick scan of the sky reveals no more hostiles in sight; the girls are either putting up barrier barrages or firing at distant targets not readily visible with the naked eye. It's all heavy guns now; the light low-altitude AA has ceased its chatter. A few more SM-2s scream into the air from the south-west, near the Reagan's dock, but things are generally quieting down.

“Arizona!” you call out when you reach her. “Any casualties?”

She shakes her head.

“The flyboys?”

She gives you a solemn thumbs-up, and you sigh in relief. Your phone buzzes in your hand, and you move to cancel it when you see it's Hornet.

TWITTER: twitter.com/planefag
ARCHIVES: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=kant-o-celle_quest


Patriot missiles flash overhead, aiming out to sea on shallow climbs as their rocket's thunder tears through the air. Naka flinches as she glances up at the weapons departing.

“Naka?” you ask.

“I'm fine,” she insists with a grimance. “I just never wanted to hear American ordinance overhead again.” She bites her lip, her face darkening as she visibly squashes the emotion in about a second. “Go. You're half our admiralty, we need you safe. Giving people orders, if you can help it.” She drives the point home by struggling upwards with a death-grip on the low brick wall you pushed her against. She begins limping away, towards her wheelchair. “Go!” she shouts as another Patriot warhead detonates somewhere high above.

The urge to seize her and fling her against the brick wall while you offer your back as a splinter shield surges through you – but she's right. She's saying what you said to Goto not a few hours earlier – they're ships before they're girls, and right now yours will need orders.

Helpful Links and FAQ: http://pastebin.com/43MCdueZ

Community Communication:
[The Cabal] #QMC @ Rizon.net (For QMs)
[Hugbox] #ques/tg/enerals @ Rizon.net (For Players)
[QuestMaster Directory] https://twitter.com/Eisenstern/lists/quest-runner-directory (post your twitter link in Spooky/Lively to get added; accounts that spam quest-unrelated messages may get removed)
[Anonkun] http://anonkun.com/user/Kas (yell abuse at as necessary(not that he'll listen))
[QTG New Home] https://archive.moe/tg/ghost/

Tools:
[Fool X](Use with Greasemonkey/Tampermonkey)
--[Original Version] http://pastebin.com/W7W2VtrQ (fixed to work with archive.moe)
--[Spooky Variant v.27.4] https://github.com/Fiddlekins/SpookyX (embeds image links, expands replies inline, adds (You), etc.)
[4chan X] https://github.com/ccd0/4chan-x (Use with Greasemonkey/Tampermonkey)

Akun Fixes:
[CSS Restyling] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/css-adjustments-to-the-site-layout/i9nGN8yMn4KJ6ScLo (Current layout thread)
-- http://pastebin.com/eKAvdwgG (Layout Fix)
-- http://pastebin.com/jN4AXt6P (Chat fix)
[Akun Linker v7] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-convert-text-links-into-hyperlinks/D6ne9Qez4ZXE24iQN
[Akun TagChecker v3] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-html-tag-closer/jnZmuKMcek44eNyym
[Akun ReCap v5] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/re-capitalising-usernames-a-solution-kinda/PpX7ut4nbdjKLxLwr
[Akun AnonToggle v5] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-anontoggle/RQu32XEWraq5yoEye
[Akun FollowMap v2] http://pastebin.com/x1XfTpzs
[Akun Review Page Fix v2] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-reviews-page-fix/KCtWQSg7sgCdbKkxS
[Akun Live Images v2] http://anonkun.com/stories/threads/script-akun-liveimages/GuL7cKHuKamNzaqJa
(further information for these scripts contained in the top pastebin)

Previous: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/39877869/
Char sheets: Layla http://pastebin.com/AZhZH83v Maria http://pastebin.com/Pz8RjLpu
Eli http://pastebin.com/MTKD1usQ

A letter, now who'd send me a letter. Well I actually have a pretty good idea who sent this letter, judging from the little four leaf clover coin stamp on the right edge of the envelope, I'd say The headmaster sent this to me, and I can pretty easily guess the reason why, mostly because it smells just like his breath and it has "Special job request" scrawled all over it.

I sigh, and flap the letter up and down as I cross my legs, my tails swaying back and forth in a kind of dance as I try and think if I actually want to take this job, I mean I've been itching to test my new powers on something, but, Maria said there was a new anime she's been wanting to watch with me, and that's as tempting as it is to go out and end the lives of whoever Headmaster wants me to kill. I shake my head and lean back into the couch, sinking into it slightly as I stare up at the slowly rotating fan above me.

"What to do, what to do" I mutter to myself as I continue to flap the letter up and down.

You know, it used to be simple, just go out and kill something, but that was before I realized how amazing Maria was and how fun it was to spend time with her. I sigh, and rub my forehead, this is starting to hurt my head a bit, all this thinking about what to do, instead of simply going out and doing it, why did everything get so complicated after I became a vampire, I thought it would get simpler, but it didn't, it didn't at all.

"I'm going out" Elizabeth says suddenly, causing me to to sit up in surprise "Going to hang out with some friends of mine, I'll be back soonish, maaaaybe"

I turn and look at my little sister, wait, who is she going with?
cont

Your spiritual liege in all his glory

Gigantic monsters. How do you present a fight with them to your party, and what do you differently to when the party fights normal-sized enemies?

Take the Xixecal, for example. A colossal tower of ice that is surrounded by an eternal blizzard, possesses a range of devastating spell-like abilities, and has a group of white dragons at its beck and call. I get the feeling that the standard "I roll to hit, I do damage" repeated for twenty or so rounds will be boring and decidedly anticlimactic. What is a fun way to present this fight for the players?

I was thinking perhaps they could start by braving the approach to the monster whilst avoiding fly-by attacks from the white dragons. They could then scale the creature and kill the dragons whilst on the Xixecal's back, but afterwards I'm at a loss as to how to make killing the monster not just a boring dps race but also not just "take this McGuffin to here and win".

General colossal, gigantic, titanic monster thread I guess.