http://archive.moe/_/search/subject/modern%20satyr%20quest/https://twitter.com/lambiejoeMy name, as you may or may not know, is Danny McGill. I am your titular 'Modern Satyr'. About a week ago I was just like you, another limp-dick schmuck off the street. Then I turned sixteen, and sprouted a pair of horns out the top of my head, started getting messed up eyes, and my teeth have seen better days.
Oh and I've come into a strange power and heritage. It turns out I'm the spawn of some old Greek god, Dionysus. He left me a junky old pine cone staff and apparently a lot of enemies. I haven't seen anything from them yet, but I'm keeping half an eye out.
Most of my time has been spent experimenting with my new godly abilities, when it hasn't been spent doing the usual boring shit at school. Luckily its the weekend, so I can relax a little.
Except I'm meant to be meeting up with this tough-as-nails former Marine named Van Owen for an early morning run, then heading over to my homeroom teacher's house to do some yard work for a couple of bucks. Not exactly my ideal Saturday, but there are prospects for the day ahead that definitely make it worth while.
So I'm woken up at quarter to five by a blaring alarm on my phone, and I gotta schlep out of bed and get ready for this unholy activity called jogging. I've never been one for the fitness routine. Until recently the most strenuous activity I've ever done was a whole day jerk session. It...uh...didn't end well for me.
Now my options are:
> dress however, who gives a shit> buckle down and dress for a morning of hard exercise