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Here ye, here ye. I hereby call to order yet another exciting meeting of the world renowned Adventurers Guild! It has recently come to my attention that one of you, and I'm not going to say who, -Cough Dirjin Cough Cough- has been feeding the Owlbears we keep locked in the basement for "Hoots of Fun" Thursdays. Now normally this wouldn't be much of a problem, we'd simply have them do a few extra hours on the Electro Wheel that we use to recharge all of the Guild's magical items. Unfortunately, that same someone -cough Dirjin cough cough-, also seems to have been hiding STOLEN magic items within their cages. This close proximity to an over abundance of magic items, mixed with whatever the hell they've been eating, has apparently made the beasts sentient. So while I, and several other Guild delegates deal with the over-sized sentient Chickens currently residing in our basement, I want all of you to come up with ideas for this Thursday. As such, I'll be leaving you all in the capable hands of Champion Fighter, Marth Wyvern.
You are Sonia Reynard, Baron of Rioja. One small world among many in the House of Jerik-Dremine. From it you control the fates of a dozen others in the so called Smuggler's Run. With your new position you have the opportunity to become one of the most influential people in your House.
It is from this world that you draw your fleets and armies from. Both have seen their first large scale deployment with a large battle in orbit of Magdalena and a follow up planetary assault.
As the Dominion slips deeper into civil war you and those under your command have been fighting to protect your little corner of known space. The DRH1 Relay is for the moment secure, though the threat posed by House Bonrah remains. You and your allies have taken a well deserved breather but the war waits for no one.
Knight Captain Katherine Drake is your fleet's Wing Commander. Uyi Rna is the General of your Army and is finishing up occupation efforts on Magdalena.
Wiremu Tama is the admiral of your Fleet. He's been busy since the last major battle, helping to organise fleet exercises, and studying the effectiveness and integration of your stafighters forces and larger ships.
Fadila Saqqaf is your leading diplomatic adviser. It's been with her help that you've been able to delegate responsibilities in the newly annexed territories.
You've recently wrapped up a visit to the Yineput system to visit Baron Dante Zvonimir. While there you made a number of proposals that should help the slightly eccentric Baron increase sales of his advanced Gunship. Trading him stasis tech from your factories has also made it slightly easier for you to acquire materials for newer ground vehicles and power armor.
You hadn't thought that lighting things on fire created fire was a concept that people wouldn't grasp in one go, but once again, the world has vastly exceeded your expectations.
And you know the phrase is 'Common sense isn't common' but- It's just- It's fire. How does someone misunderstand fire. How. They aren't children, presumably.
No, that's a definitely, isn't it. You're the monsters here. They're adults. Humans don't let children be adventurers. Human children.
In any case, you are presently dimensionally challenged in a challenge dimension. Specifically, a dungeon. And since dungeons aren't the picky sort of multidimensional semi-sentient giant whatevers, there are also other adventurers inside. Whom you have just met, introduced yourself to, and induced a fit of frustration derived swearing from.
Which brings you to the present.
"This is Tim's fault. That shitshoveling horses ass. Bastard. Bastard son of a-"
You interrupt. "Is Tim the mage?" "Tim. Tim is the goblin-molesting child of a sewage gargling ogre who goddamn laughs when we walk in all burnt up! Imma bloody choke him! I'll burn him! I'M GONNA LIGHT YOU THE HELLS ON FIRE TIM-"
The dwarf pops his head back out of the tent, blinking bleary eyes. He sighs, and catches the woman's scarf, dragging her backwards into a headlock, one hand muffling her rising voice.
"S'rry bout this. She's from the mountains. Get a bit weird up there."
>Aren't you from the- >Sorry. >Should I go? I should go. >Other (?)
The sea's violent churning among the storm saw your small crew thrown about both willy and nilly along the small schooner's deck.
A grey forecast on the horizon quickly gave birth to a torrential downpour, gale force winds, and ear-splitting thunder! ~This was it~ you thought to yourself, ~This is the end, this is how I d-~
But that last thought was left hanging, as a particularly volatile thrash sent you overboard and into the unforgiving embrace of a freezing, dark ocean.
You fell weightless into the icy abyss. Your life flashed before your eyes, and it felt like an eternity as your lungs slowly burned away to ash. Finally, you suck in a lung full of thick, salty water, death pulling at you with each passing moment.
Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! Now I know some of you have been excited about the reopening of our magical obstacle course of magical death and dismemberment so that we can once more watch all the apprentices run through it to test their mettle, and thin down the crowd. And I know a lot of you apprentices and initiatives are interested to know what the grand prize we are offering this year for whoever survives the race and gets to the finish line first. Well it seems you might never get to know because a group of concerned parents have come to complain, something about it being "irresponsible" and "unsafe for their children". Of course it's unsafe, it's a magical obstacle course of magical death and dismemberment, it's supposed to be unsafe, that's the point! Normally I would suggest we just kill the angry mob but the diplomancers have warned us that we have met our quota for killing people at our doorstep and that we need to solve it in a way that doesn't make us look quite so terrible and uninviting. Now hurry up and get thinking!
Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archive.4plebs For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
