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You hadn't thought that lighting things on fire created fire was a concept that people wouldn't grasp in one go, but once again, the world has vastly exceeded your expectations.
And you know the phrase is 'Common sense isn't common' but- It's just- It's fire. How does someone misunderstand fire. How. They aren't children, presumably.
No, that's a definitely, isn't it. You're the monsters here. They're adults. Humans don't let children be adventurers. Human children.
In any case, you are presently dimensionally challenged in a challenge dimension. Specifically, a dungeon. And since dungeons aren't the picky sort of multidimensional semi-sentient giant whatevers, there are also other adventurers inside. Whom you have just met, introduced yourself to, and induced a fit of frustration derived swearing from.
Which brings you to the present.
"This is Tim's fault. That shitshoveling horses ass. Bastard. Bastard son of a-"
You interrupt. "Is Tim the mage?" "Tim. Tim is the goblin-molesting child of a sewage gargling ogre who goddamn laughs when we walk in all burnt up! Imma bloody choke him! I'll burn him! I'M GONNA LIGHT YOU THE HELLS ON FIRE TIM-"
The dwarf pops his head back out of the tent, blinking bleary eyes. He sighs, and catches the woman's scarf, dragging her backwards into a headlock, one hand muffling her rising voice.
"S'rry bout this. She's from the mountains. Get a bit weird up there."
>Aren't you from the- >Sorry. >Should I go? I should go. >Other (?)
The sea's violent churning among the storm saw your small crew thrown about both willy and nilly along the small schooner's deck.
A grey forecast on the horizon quickly gave birth to a torrential downpour, gale force winds, and ear-splitting thunder! ~This was it~ you thought to yourself, ~This is the end, this is how I d-~
But that last thought was left hanging, as a particularly volatile thrash sent you overboard and into the unforgiving embrace of a freezing, dark ocean.
You fell weightless into the icy abyss. Your life flashed before your eyes, and it felt like an eternity as your lungs slowly burned away to ash. Finally, you suck in a lung full of thick, salty water, death pulling at you with each passing moment.
Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! Now I know some of you have been excited about the reopening of our magical obstacle course of magical death and dismemberment so that we can once more watch all the apprentices run through it to test their mettle, and thin down the crowd. And I know a lot of you apprentices and initiatives are interested to know what the grand prize we are offering this year for whoever survives the race and gets to the finish line first. Well it seems you might never get to know because a group of concerned parents have come to complain, something about it being "irresponsible" and "unsafe for their children". Of course it's unsafe, it's a magical obstacle course of magical death and dismemberment, it's supposed to be unsafe, that's the point! Normally I would suggest we just kill the angry mob but the diplomancers have warned us that we have met our quota for killing people at our doorstep and that we need to solve it in a way that doesn't make us look quite so terrible and uninviting. Now hurry up and get thinking!
Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on /tg/, we keep it going on archive.4plebs For additional resources, please visit http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guild
