>>34292993>I would hate for them to realise how upset and suicidal I am.>mfw
Same here, man. Same here.
Back in the old college days, I had a girlfriend. She was great: cute, legitimately nerdy, sharp witted, and with good taste in music. We were together for some two years. Then I found out she'd been cheating on me with a Chad.
I dropped out school and became a NEET within two months. I've recovered somewhat, but something about that experience triggered some kind of autism that never went away.
As for how my parents view my being a complete shutin that only leaves his room to work... Well, they blame her. They also insist I need therapy, and they're probably right. To be honest, the only reason I haven't gone is because, on some level, I enjoy being mad at her, and I don't want to get over it.
Hate is a powerful motivator. It might not get you anywhere, but it gets you out of bed in the morning.