The suicidal thoughts are getting more frequent. Like I look at a guy fixing a truck and my brain says you could never do that because your so stupid, just kill yourself.

I'm no longer an underage fag, I'm finally 18! Too bad I'm not going to spend Valentine's day with anyone though, but I've done it the other 17 years of my life so what's the difference in the end?

I feel nothing but contempt for everything around me including and especially myself. I wouldnt even care if my family missed me or whatever because Im selfish and if I stopped existing it wouldnt matter. But Im afraid an afterlife exist and Im going to be held accountable.

I'm in love with this girl, please no "cuck" or "beta orbiter" or "lelele reddit go back" memes please.
Honestly, what's my best shot to get her? no pedo.

>be me
>long day at work
>scroll through r9k to laugh at pathetic robots before bed
>find a thread with some faggot crying about breaking up with some femanon roastie
>the retard drops his discord looking for attention
>decide to add the guy
>the faggot really adds me back
>he talks to me expecting a conversation
>tell him to kill himself and say he is a waste of oxygen
>try and send him a hangmans knot tutorial
>get blocked before I can send it
>immediately after send the dms to another server and sleep like an baby
>forget about it the entirety of the next day until I check my dms at work
>someone sent me a friend request
>turns out the gf made a thread on here about the night before expecting attention but everyone started dunking on them
https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/76381552/#76382890
>start dying laughing
>hysterical to the point where I had to come home early
>mfw

To the faggot "unpike" that told my ex to kill himself, how about you kill yourself you subhuman trash? Too scared to accept my friend request you little dicklet? You don't wanna talk? Imagine going in people's dms and telling them to kill themselves because they have emotions lmfao. You're so pathetic it's laughable. You're probably a 30 yo balding fat faggot virgin who probably never even touched a woman before and who's too scared to accept a woman's friend request because you're a sensitive little pathetic bitch. Maybe YOU'RE the one who should kill himself. But ohh you have a job? Bitch, you probably work at McDonald's or some amazon warehouse and you dare talk shit to him about jobs? LMFAOOO I'm literally laughing bc I know for a fact he makes more money than you do. I don't give a shit if he cares ab what you said or not, I will not not fuck you the fuck up you nasty manlet. You talk shit as if you're any better and you wouldn't break down from a woman rejecting u once and pull an Elliot Rodger. You're prob a newfag too. If I saw u irl, even at my 5'2 height, I would fucking crush you bitch I will fucking bite your face off even if it's more disgusting than a baboon's infected asshole. Kill yourself nigger

someone ate the rest of my cuties T_T i am a little sad. So today I will eat a banana instead. I still do not have a valentine so I will gift shop for my friends today. I love gifting people. Have a blessed day everyone! :D

Doin it tomorrow

I'm a college student and I'm considering killing myself. Best ways that aren't slow and painful? I don't have a gun. All I can think of is jumping off a building or in front of a train, but that seems slow and not guaranteed to work.

The world feels like its shrouded in a fog that I can't get past.
I've been depressed my entire life, I've had times like this before, but this time, it's different.
In High School, I was smart enough to know that my pain was temporary.
All I had to do was graduate High School and I'd be able to try again, right?

Well it's been years since High School, and my mind is still ill.

For over a year I had a friend. She was wonderful. I'd never met a more rational, funny, kind person in my life.
I loved her very much.

One day she enters a psych ward. She is gone for a couple months. When she got out, she was different.
No longer rational, no longer kind, no longer my friend.
It's like she forgot all the time we spent together and needed to lie her way out of my life.
That was in November. And I've thought about her everyday since she left. She is all I think about.
It hurts, being told that you're an awful person, being told that you never cared
The truth is that I've never cared about anybody more in my life.
The truth is that I really thought things were going to be different this time.

But people never change, this is how its always been for me. I try to be kind, but always get the knife turned on me.
Something must be wrong with me. I'm done trying. My life has always been shit from the day I was born.
I should have died at birth but I didn't. I've never felt loved by my mother. My father is spineless.
My friends all leave me. I'm not good looking. I'm a midwit.

And now, her leaving me has completely broke me. I am no longer afraid of death. I pray for it daily.
I used to have some hope in my heart that kept me going, I would cope and say "maybe things will get better"
but I truly don't care if things get better or not anymore. I've been burned time and time again.

With all that said, please, what is the least painful suicide method?