>fell for the jelqing meme a few years ago
>since then, dick never gets hard, and I need to use a tight grip to keep it from going completely flaccid within 2 seconds while masturbating
>urologist essentially says that I'm just imagining the problem

I thought a doctor might help. What should I do now?

Alcohol - normie
Cigarettes - normie
Ecstasy - NORMIE EDM CHAD DRUG GET OUT REEE
Shrooms - LSD for normies
Weed - Normie
Cocaine - Most Stacy drug on the planet
Heroin - Junkies are scary normies
Crack, meth, etc - hoodlums, where trash, etc.
Xanax - normie "I'm so depressed" fake depression drug
LSD - Arguable
Peyote - Arguable but Chad Indians take it
DXM - Reviled by druggies and normies everywhere, the dissociative and hallucinogenic effect makes it the perfect robot drug


Why aren't you robotripping?

>"Come out with your hands up virgins"

32.843072, -97.096929

gabrielle / alex / jason jj
don't go to school tomorrow

ms. lopez: I loved you

so long space robots and happy 4/20

Wanna hear a story about how I was an alpha for like 10 seconds?

>Be 13 year old me
>At school
>Fat kid picking on me
>Really
>Morbidly obese.
>Shitty hair
>Eczema and weird red spots that bleed
>Has to have a special seat in the corner
>Calls me GAYY constantly
>Getting on my nerves a lot
>Pushed me into mud and stuff
>Put used condoms in my pocket filled with his cum
>I put my hand in pocket and get cum hands
>Everyone saying I jerk off in class
>Everyone disgusted
>Reallyfuckingpissed.jpg
>Pic related
>Want to cyberbully him
>Check his MySpace
>Find out his Dad died last year
>Master plan hatching
>Print out pictures of his dad during lunch
>I find his bag and steal his English book from it
We share English
>Stick pictures of his dad's face all over his book
>Take out red pen
>Cross the Dad's eyes out
>Write notes from Dad
>"See you in hell."
>"I killed myself to get away from you."
>"You're gonna have a heart attack, fatass."
Shit like that
>Return his book into his bag
>Wait until english
>Teacher says open textbooks
>I ask to go to the toilet
>Wait there until I stop laughing
>Casually stroll into class
>Fatty is missing
>Teacher looks shocked
>Teacher has Fatty's book
The teacher reports it to the Principal and everyone is trying to figure out who did it
>School ends
>Check his myspace
>Loads of emo posts about how life is shit
>Ayy lmao
>He doesn't show up to school for like a week
>Everytime I see him I yell "DAD." really loud
>Watch him burst into tears
>Push the fat fuck into mud
>Hold him there until he stops resisting
>I leave and he runs off
>He moves school and hopefully kills himself.

Trips decide what I do

ITT: Fucking White people lmao

Has 4chan desensitized anyone else for the rest of the internet?
It seems like everything except youtube and tumblr (for porn) are just childsbplay to me now.

I used to go on reddit/imgur at work all the time, but after being on r9k for a year, the humor of reddit is fucking elementary in comparison... You know what I mean?
Is this a positive or negative?
Pic related: me on imgur/9gag/onion/blah blah blah

/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.



1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.

2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.

3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So,
your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.

4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the
eyes of the robot.

5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).

6. Images are <b>NOT</b> included in the filter, only text.

7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.

8. You cannot post a picture without text.

9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).

10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.

11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.

12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:

http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/

Paid shills. They work for a company that pays them to spread buzz on 4chan for political reasons. These companies are funded by the government, they want you to think a certain way, they want you to have a specific opinion. It's an old strategy, they're trying to divide and alienate 4chan users. This is why 4chan users are always so fucked up. You are literally being brainwashed and you don't even know it.

They're not advertising a product, they're not trying to sell you anything, they just want to control your way of thinking and your beliefs. That's why it's really difficult to recognize shills from genuine posters on 4chan, because ultimately we are all trying to change your way of thinking. But these stealth marketing companies do this structurally. They lie, they spread misinformation and propaganda.

Shills will spam threads, samefag in threads and argue with you according to the script they were given. When you refute their arguments they have to derail the thread and will often respond with something like >being this autistic. When confronted. They will actively try to get the last word so it looks like their argument won, so their argument looks good in front of the crowd and yours lost. It's all part of their script, they get paid to do this. DO NOT argue if you suspect someone is a shill. Just hide and report the post.
Sometimes there are 2 rival shilling companies that are trying to shill opposing opinions and they end up arguing with each other just to set up a show for you guys. Sometimes they don't even know the other guy is a paid shill aswell and they can't ask because they have to stay sincere. It's ridiculous.

The amount of shills has really skyrocketed recently. About 35% of posts aren't genuine posters anymore. That means about 1 in 3 anons is a paid viral marketer who is sitting in an office and gets paid to argue with you. Do not fall for it.

Source: i worked for a stealth marketing company on /pol/, /r9k/ and /b/