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I feel like a failure, really. She shot me up with acid for Christ sake. I know now why they do it too, the worse you have it, the worse people treat you, too. There's no being broke and keeping a girlfriend of any quality without downs, at all. It ain't like when you're homeless people pick you up and take you to a hotel and put you in it without waving a camera around so they can signal to others their good deed. It ain't like she gives you a piece of her ass as you cry about how pathetic you are. It's just the cruel nature of how the world works. It's enough to pull the trigger on yourself, that's the whole premise for defunding the police, we can't immure anyone that is causing us bad problems without a bunch of hoops to jump through because most cops and judges are underqualified and underperforming.. I attempted with fentanyl once it got so bad with them telling me I can't do anything, eat, sex, work.. it didn't work by the way, they resuscitated me with the Narcan. I wanted more, too. It was kind of funny, I found out the whole problem can be fixed with the stuff the second I tried to kill myself with it. Anyway, in some countries, they know this too, and they'll help you commit, they'll even do it in countries where it's illegal if you find the right staff and the reason for that is because they KNOW that if your girl were to get raped she'd never forgive you properly and it's going to eat you up inside for the rest of your life while you sat alone and longing for what used to be.