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>be me >read Starting Strength by Rippetoe and 531 by Wendler >lurk moar and watch Alan Thrall and AthleanX and other based form-bros >really focus on form >always warm up >saw this trainer who lifts heavier than me but same height >ask him if he could check out my form and give me an advice or so >he's pretty chill and he does >says looks good to him >based >film myself few times, analyze form, backs straight all good proper bracing >lifts continue to go up all is nice >one day after lift i feel random weakness hit me all of a sudden, wtf >go change >i am numb af >go home sleep >wake up with searing pain stabbing me easy 7/10 pain >make it thru day >tomorrow same shit, go to dr >diagnosis rest, suspected disc herniation since it goes down my leg >ordered 6mo rest + mri >wait for mri 3mo >huge disc herniation, ortho says i must rest more, gives me anti inflamatory meds (pain went to 2/10 on its own) >6mo after injury it went up to 5/10 because i moved only 20kg washing machine in house, body reacts to lifting anything over 5kg extremely negatively >go to ortho, says we must wait more, its not good, too early for PT and to cease lifting anything >a year later I start PT >PT doesnt help >pain naturally goes down to 1.5/10
these days i cant run, i can walk normally, driving car going over bumps triggers pain to 3/10, i've been doing core workouts for past few months but its not helping, my resting heart rate went from 52 to 63, it really sucks fitbros.. i want to just go back to normal activities, i want to be active, i want to move heavy stuff i want to run my heart wants to but my body doesnt allow me
i asked for surgery but they can only do microdisectomy first which is certain to not work because they leave hole open in disc for it to close on its own which forms scar tissue that fails anyway and they need to drill thru ligament and a bit of bone screw that.. if it was disc replacement or fusion maybe id do it idk but those arent done here first, so no surgery
Does anyone else not have the drive to do what's necessary to actually get huge? Pic related has been my goal body for years, but I've recently come to accept that I'm never going to look like this. I simply don't have the appetite to eat enough food, I don't have the time to invest in spending hours in the gym ever day, and I don't have the energy to really push myself during workouts. Long story short, I'm lazy. I'm not going to blame the world for why I can't achieve my goals, it's entirely my own fault.
It's not like I'm totally giving up on fitness. I still plan on doing my 3 weekly half assed workouts and even with that minimal effort I can look better than 90% of the male population. But actually putting on noticeable muscle mass, getting a wide back, thick arms, capped delts, all of that's never going to happen. I can live with being a muscular leanpill twink I guess. It's better than nothing.
