How can I effectively incorporate routine training to keep my niece informed and help her defend against the growing influence of wokeness?

My niece has to write a school report on an LGBTQ+ person she admires for pride month. She asked to write one about me, I told her I’m not LGBT but she insists I must be gay or asexual otherwise I would have had a gf by now. What do I do /fit/?

Wake up when you wake up.

>sleep on hardwood floor with no pillow
>alarm goes off at 1am
>immediately kip up into a standing position and scream LETS GET IT
>shower with liquid nitrogen
>shave with a large hunting knife
>for breakfast, 6 egg shells and 4 banana peels
>waterboard myself to build pain tolerance
>decide to go easy today, do 5000 push ups and 2000 pull ups
>ready for the day at 2am

Innocent people are dying because two manlets couldn't settle their differences in a dwarf-tossing contest.

I am so fucking miserable.

How do men become more physically capable of surviving a mission to the red planet?

batman mastered every athletic function btw

There are people on /fit/ RIGHT NOW who think they can defeat a professional female fighter just because they lift.

This just came in the mail. Does /fit/ have any experience with soy protein or knowledge that isn't broscience?